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Jebe Noyon
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Posted - 2007.01.15 23:15:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Jebe Noyon on 15/01/2007 23:12:33
Well, thought why not to hear some funny stories, cuz the one I'll tell ya is totally retarded.
Evertyhing happened to my m8, but I trust him 100% and he's an old no bullsh*t PvPer. The reason I type it, cuz he doens't give a crap about forums, but I think this deffinitely needs sharing.
OK, so on we go - everything happened somewhere in the north before Kali (Delkein methinks). So my m8 in his Zaelot is doing his solo thing, looking for targets and all that. He jumps inna busy system (all those 0.0 systems with stations tend to be busy) and of course nobody notices him (pre Kali you ahd to do some clicking to see who is who), cuz all of them northern alliances are so friendly to each other, that now they all have to come to south to have at least some fighting. Aniway, he is in local scanning belts in the SS and suddenly he reads the chat - the guy (worth mentionig that everyone in thre were -5 to him) is shouting about some strange spawn (ofcourse it's an officer spawn) that he can't take down alone and ofcourse tells the belt. So my m8 warps in, pwns the NPCing BS, then pwns the officer spawn, loots both cans and goes back to his POS. He sold that faction crap for around a bill. End of story.
When I heard this crap - I was totally ZOMG. Earning a bill, a BS kill in totally hostile system solo is smth worth remembering for a bit longer than a week or two.
Aniway I bet you can dish out even more retardedly funny stoires, that I would be glad to read.
Edit, cuz of typo - my English is kinda crappy.
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Marcus TheMartin
Gallente
Tuxedo.
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Posted - 2007.01.15 23:24:00 -
[2]
had potential to be funny but bad typing killed it me thinks
Best Dressed Corp of 2006 and 2007! -Marcus TheMartin
Marcus Thinks Eve who knew!? |
Major Stormer
Caldari
Celestial Apocalypse
Insurgency
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Posted - 2007.01.15 23:24:00 -
[3]
This was last night:
[ 2007.01.14 20:22:06 ] EVE System > Channel changed to PNQY-Y Local Channel
[ 2007.01.14 20:22:44 ] Hostile1 > i got 37km optimal whit Microwave
[ 2007.01.14 20:23:11 ] Hostile2 > at 9-v gate
[ 2007.01.14 20:23:20 ] Hostile2 > doh local :D
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:01 ] Hostile2> lets get a gang going peeps
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:06 ] Hostile2 > i donŠt have skills to make one
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:19 ] Hostile4 > lol
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:26 ] Hostile5 > ^__^
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:54 ] Hostile4 > I know you're on our side Arthes... but I really gotta LOL at that one again
[ 2007.01.14 20:29:14 ] Hostile6 > :D
That was rather funny, nice to see the enemy see the funny side as well :)
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Jebe Noyon
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Posted - 2007.01.15 23:28:00 -
[4]
 Originally by: Marcus TheMartin
had potential to be funny but bad typing killed it me thinks
Well:
1) Not everyone is native English speaker.
2) Try to imagine, how it looks or feels - this was not a narrative story, I wrote what happened in brief.
People with imagination will understand it I guess.
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Marcus TheMartin
Gallente
Tuxedo.
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Posted - 2007.01.15 23:37:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Jebe Noyon
Originally by: Marcus TheMartin
had potential to be funny but bad typing killed it me thinks
Well:
1) Not everyone is native English speaker.
2) Try to imagine, how it looks or feels - this was not a narrative story, I wrote what happened in brief.
People with imagination will understand it I guess.
I invented imagination you have no idea what your talking too buddy 
Best Dressed Corp of 2006 and 2007! -Marcus TheMartin
Marcus Thinks Eve who knew!? |
ReePeR McAllem
Amarr
The Carebear Stare
Privateer Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.15 23:48:00 -
[6]
Nice. The Zealot pilot got very lucky nobody else jumped into that belt for the officer spawn. If it was said in my local - "Officer spawn need help to take it down" etc. It would be an all out war between rival pirates. Uber blob of carnage 
coconuts... |
DarkElf
Caldari
DJ's Exotic Dancers Escorts
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Posted - 2007.01.16 01:43:00 -
[7]
Originally by: ReePeR McAllem
Nice. The Zealot pilot got very lucky nobody else jumped into that belt for the officer spawn. If it was said in my local - "Officer spawn need help to take it down" etc. It would be an all out war between rival pirates. Uber blob of carnage
who on earth would shout in local about an officer spawn. i've been playing over 3 dam years and not had one once but guarantee if i do i'll be staying hush.
nice kill
DE
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Dario Wall
Caldari
Deep Core Mining Inc.
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Posted - 2007.01.16 01:52:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Major Stormer
This was last night:
[ 2007.01.14 20:22:06 ] EVE System > Channel changed to PNQY-Y Local Channel
[ 2007.01.14 20:22:44 ] Hostile1 > i got 37km optimal whit Microwave
[ 2007.01.14 20:23:11 ] Hostile2 > at 9-v gate
[ 2007.01.14 20:23:20 ] Hostile2 > doh local :D
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:01 ] Hostile2> lets get a gang going peeps
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:06 ] Hostile2 > i donŠt have skills to make one
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:19 ] Hostile4 > lol
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:26 ] Hostile5 > ^__^
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:54 ] Hostile4 > I know you're on our side Arthes... but I really gotta LOL at that one again
[ 2007.01.14 20:29:14 ] Hostile6 > :D
That was rather funny, nice to see the enemy see the funny side as well :)
I think I know who you're talking about.
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Gamble Dakota
Immortalis Silens
Ethereal Dawn
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Posted - 2007.01.16 02:05:00 -
[9]
Just a few days after I got back to Eve, we went hunting. We bagged a Vexor, and over TS I go:
Me: gethepodgethepod I NEED THE SQUISHY SOUND
Bloodsong: Ok locklocklock
Me: I GOT HIM, I GOT THE ******* HIS ****** POD IS ******* MINE I'M GONNA **** HIS **** UP!!!
The pod warps off and I'm like "wtf... pod with WCS? What did I miss?"
Devorais posts this (paraphrased) in corpchat:
*Notify, Gamble Dakota has begun attempting to warp scramble [Blank]'s Vexor Wreck
I did it for the lulz. Ctrl-Clicking things in space=bad.
It was at that moment I realized how much I had really missed Eve.
-----------------------------------------------------------
I find the correct answer is rarely the truthful one.
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DubanFP
Caldari
Four Rings
Myriad Alliance
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Posted - 2007.01.16 03:29:00 -
[10]
Edited by: DubanFP on 16/01/2007 03:29:14
Originally by: newbie
how do i get one of these?
__________________________
Why babelfish is bad mmm k
"which the night do not expect that it calls the primary education before becoming deformed inside" |
Hamatitio
Caldari
Fate.
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Posted - 2007.01.16 04:19:00 -
[11]
"HAMA HEAL ME!"
-Phonix
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Liu Kaskakka
PAK
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Posted - 2007.01.16 05:52:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Hamatitio
"HAMA HEAL ME!"
-Phonix
King Liu is RIGHT!!
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DarknessInc
Minmatar
Metalworks
THE INTERSTELLAR FOUNDRY
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Posted - 2007.01.16 06:42:00 -
[13]
Quotes
Freighter Sales
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Black Emper0r
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Posted - 2007.01.16 06:50:00 -
[14]
"Killed" an enemy megathron in a bottlenecksystem while flying in my pod. A blob had killed my zealot earlier but I managed to warp to a safespot.
After warping between safespots for about half an hour all hostiles except one remained in local. He was in a megathron protecting gate back to empire (this was before "warp to zero")
I went to few belts until I found a spawn of interceptors and 2 battleships. Made a safespot right in the middle of them and then ganged the megathron asking him to come an pod me.....
I warped out when he came out of warp but when I came back to the belt his can was there. I guess those interceptors scrambled the poor fellah while the battleships killed his gankfitted mega.
Moral of the story; Pod > Megathron
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Tisanta
Amarr
Dragonfire Intergalactic Crusaders of Krom
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Posted - 2007.01.16 12:35:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Marcus TheMartin
Originally by: Jebe Noyon
Originally by: Marcus TheMartin
had potential to be funny but bad typing killed it me thinks
Well:
1) Not everyone is native English speaker.
2) Try to imagine, how it looks or feels - this was not a narrative story, I wrote what happened in brief.
People with imagination will understand it I guess.
I invented imagination you have no idea what your talking too buddy
that was poor english.. retard... you were suposed to say @I invtented imagination you have no idea what your talking ABOUT buddy.
---
Please resize image to a maximum of 400 x 120, not exceeding 24000 bytes, ty. If you would like further details please mail [email protected] - Cortes |
Threefisted Olie
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Posted - 2007.01.16 13:00:00 -
[16]
Im blind ass drunk flying point in goon teritory for 2 other guys. I don't know what they were flying,I was to drunk to remeber anything. I could scout a gate well enough, and drop a point on anything that showed in my overview. So I do just that, I scout a gate, drop a point, and have the guys jump and pop the target.
It took about 3 jumps twords home before they coud explain to me what happened. I had put a point on a cov opps, he was hauling goods, and we just bagged some +5 implants. The corp name was some bulgaria mafi squad or something. I went to bed laughing, and I woke up the next day with a wicked hangover and a more wicked laugh. I just imagined some eastern euro losing all that loot and beating his wife and hating himself and it busted me up. still does. my cut was 800m, and the isk is long gone, but I'm still *****ing up about it.
so only really funny to me, so funny. I have never woke up laughing with a wicked hangover like that.
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Anaka Raan
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Posted - 2007.01.16 13:02:00 -
[17]
It's "you have no idea what you're talking about"
Pirates.... 
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Barry Cantona
Gallente
Elite Angels
Knights Of the Southerncross
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Posted - 2007.01.16 13:31:00 -
[18]
When RISE said "we are moving to BOB space"
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Marcus TheMartin
Gallente
Tuxedo.
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Posted - 2007.01.16 14:20:00 -
[19]
Originally by: Tisanta
Originally by: Marcus TheMartin
Originally by: Jebe Noyon
Originally by: Marcus TheMartin
had potential to be funny but bad typing killed it me thinks
Well:
1) Not everyone is native English speaker.
2) Try to imagine, how it looks or feels - this was not a narrative story, I wrote what happened in brief.
People with imagination will understand it I guess.
I invented imagination you have no idea what your talking too buddy
that was poor english.. retard... you were suposed to say @I invtented imagination you have no idea what your talking ABOUT buddy.
He was making a statement directed towards me so I feel I am able to type what I typed in response if you guys want to be grammar ****'s more power too you notice how I don't advertise myself as the master of english
Best Dressed Corp of 2006 and 2007! -Marcus TheMartin
Marcus Thinks Eve who knew!? |
Hennry Fromer
Gallente
TRSG Research
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Posted - 2007.01.16 15:00:00 -
[20]
Originally by: ReePeR McAllem
Nice. The Zealot pilot got very lucky nobody else jumped into that belt for the officer spawn. If it was said in my local - "Officer spawn need help to take it down" etc. It would be an all out war between rival pirates. Uber blob of carnage
Now that might be entertaining - system full of pirates sit outside a belt cloaked and yell about some uber spawn kiling my drones and I need some help. then watch the pretty furball of activity that ensues.
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Jebe Noyon
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Posted - 2007.01.16 15:39:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Hennry Fromer
Originally by: ReePeR McAllem
Nice. The Zealot pilot got very lucky nobody else jumped into that belt for the officer spawn. If it was said in my local - "Officer spawn need help to take it down" etc. It would be an all out war between rival pirates. Uber blob of carnage
Now that might be entertaining - system full of pirates sit outside a belt cloaked and yell about some uber spawn kiling my drones and I need some help. then watch the pretty furball of activity that ensues.
That was not pirate system. It was some 0.0 system in Deklein (or something) and you know them northern blokes - drinking tea and huging each other. 
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OrangeAfroMan
Minmatar
Suffoco Noctis
Ethereal Dawn
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Posted - 2007.01.16 19:59:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Hennry Fromer
Originally by: ReePeR McAllem
Nice. The Zealot pilot got very lucky nobody else jumped into that belt for the officer spawn. If it was said in my local - "Officer spawn need help to take it down" etc. It would be an all out war between rival pirates. Uber blob of carnage
Now that might be entertaining - system full of pirates sit outside a belt cloaked and yell about some uber spawn kiling my drones and I need some help. then watch the pretty furball of activity that ensues.
Thats a surprisingly good idea, especially since now you can't scan for NPCs. >:]
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Marcus TheMartin
Gallente
Tuxedo.
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Posted - 2007.01.16 20:06:00 -
[23]
Originally by: OrangeAfroMan
Originally by: Hennry Fromer
Originally by: ReePeR McAllem
Nice. The Zealot pilot got very lucky nobody else jumped into that belt for the officer spawn. If it was said in my local - "Officer spawn need help to take it down" etc. It would be an all out war between rival pirates. Uber blob of carnage
Now that might be entertaining - system full of pirates sit outside a belt cloaked and yell about some uber spawn kiling my drones and I need some help. then watch the pretty furball of activity that ensues.
Thats a surprisingly good idea, especially since now you can't scan for NPCs. >:]
But you can scan local for pirates
(Subliminal Nerf Local Propaganda #1358)
Best Dressed Corp of 2006 and 2007! -Marcus TheMartin
Marcus Thinks Eve who knew!? |
Ehranavaar
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Posted - 2007.01.16 21:07:00 -
[24]
Originally by: DarkElf
Originally by: ReePeR McAllem
Nice. The Zealot pilot got very lucky nobody else jumped into that belt for the officer spawn. If it was said in my local - "Officer spawn need help to take it down" etc. It would be an all out war between rival pirates. Uber blob of carnage
who on earth would shout in local about an officer spawn. i've been playing over 3 dam years and not had one once but guarantee if i do i'll be staying hush.
nice kill
DE
a person could well start a goodsized battle that way. no officer spawn but a bunch of highly aggressive would be warrior types in close proximity is always fun. pop in toward the end to your premarked spot 150 km out and finish off the survivor(s) could lead to some nice loot.
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Rail Duke
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Posted - 2007.01.16 21:10:00 -
[25]
The funniest thing i saw was when someone said most funny not funniest. Haha oh boy.
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When deep space exploration ramps up, it'll be the corporations that will name everything: The Ibm stellarsphere, The Microsoft galaxy, Planet Starbucks.
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Ice Conch
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Posted - 2007.01.17 00:58:00 -
[26]
Originally by: Jebe Noyon
Originally by: Marcus TheMartin
had potential to be funny but bad typing killed it me thinks
Well:
1) Not everyone is native English speaker.
2) Try to imagine, how it looks or feels - this was not a narrative story, I wrote what happened in brief.
People with imagination will understand it I guess.
well, if you arent a native speaker, dont be offended when people say it doesnt make as much sense. It is true, it was hard to understand.
Honestly, know your own strengths and weaknesses, and dont be offended when people offer constructive criticism.
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Jebe Noyon
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Posted - 2007.01.17 09:53:00 -
[27]
Originally by: Ice Conch
Originally by: Jebe Noyon
Originally by: Marcus TheMartin
had potential to be funny but bad typing killed it me thinks
Well:
1) Not everyone is native English speaker.
2) Try to imagine, how it looks or feels - this was not a narrative story, I wrote what happened in brief.
People with imagination will understand it I guess.
well, if you arent a native speaker, dont be offended when people say it doesnt make as much sense. It is true, it was hard to understand.
Honestly, know your own strengths and weaknesses, and dont be offended when people offer constructive criticism.
Honestly, I ain't offended, just wanted to make things clear, that it isn't too easy for me to use foreign language at the same level as a native one. Well I can speak 5 langugaes, but none of them perfectly. Doing my best though. 
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Arthes
Caldari
Dark-Rising
Fallen Souls
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Posted - 2007.01.22 10:18:00 -
[28]
Originally by: Major Stormer
This was last night:
[ 2007.01.14 20:22:06 ] EVE System > Channel changed to PNQY-Y Local Channel
[ 2007.01.14 20:22:44 ] Hostile1 > i got 37km optimal whit Microwave
[ 2007.01.14 20:23:11 ] Hostile2 > at 9-v gate
[ 2007.01.14 20:23:20 ] Hostile2 > doh local :D
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:01 ] Hostile2> lets get a gang going peeps
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:06 ] Hostile2 > i donŠt have skills to make one
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:19 ] Hostile4 > lol
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:26 ] Hostile5 > ^__^
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:54 ] Hostile4 > I know you're on our side Arthes... but I really gotta LOL at that one again
[ 2007.01.14 20:29:14 ] Hostile6 > :D
That was rather funny, nice to see the enemy see the funny side as well :)
Nice job at at censoring hostile guys name... You really have to think hard to figure out who was the "hostile 2" ...I donŠt mind really. I was confusing local and corp chat alot that day. 
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Major Stormer
Caldari
Celestial Apocalypse
Insurgency
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Posted - 2007.01.22 14:02:00 -
[29]
Originally by: Arthes
Originally by: Major Stormer
This was last night:
[ 2007.01.14 20:22:06 ] EVE System > Channel changed to PNQY-Y Local Channel
[ 2007.01.14 20:22:44 ] Hostile1 > i got 37km optimal whit Microwave
[ 2007.01.14 20:23:11 ] Hostile2 > at 9-v gate
[ 2007.01.14 20:23:20 ] Hostile2 > doh local :D
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:01 ] Hostile2> lets get a gang going peeps
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:06 ] Hostile2 > i donŠt have skills to make one
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:19 ] Hostile4 > lol
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:26 ] Hostile5 > ^__^
[ 2007.01.14 20:28:54 ] Hostile4 > I know you're on our side Arthes... but I really gotta LOL at that one again
[ 2007.01.14 20:29:14 ] Hostile6 > :D
That was rather funny, nice to see the enemy see the funny side as well :)
Nice job at at censoring hostile guys name... You really have to think hard to figure out who was the "hostile 2" ...I donŠt mind really. I was confusing local and corp chat alot that day.
Ahh sorry about that, I only just noticed it. Still, nowhere near as bad as the rather amusing chat coming out of Serp Prime last night, which I might post when I get off work.
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Necro Tal
Minmatar
Alcohol Fueled Brutality
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Posted - 2007.01.22 14:14:00 -
[30]
Edited by: Necro Tal on 22/01/2007 14:12:38
Other than a drunken Jebe, I have one from last night.
We have a few corps we keep at positive standings because they're nice industrialist types, and they build us ammo and whatnot. The only mistake they make is feeling safe mining in the belts 23 hours a day.
Last night a member of a supposedly strict "anti-pirate" corp jumps into local in a brutix. A mate and I are sitting in the top belt, hoping he'll come to us, so we can get paid. Checking the scanner, nope. Not coming to us, he went to the second belt.
As I come out of warp, I see this "anti-pirate" lay the final blow on one of our little miner friends in a cormorant. I chuckle, and click approach. Before my claw could close the needed 54km for scramble, he warps off.
A game of cat and mouse begins. We're chasing him all over the system. We notify our alliance friends next door that he might be coming their way, and post guards on the other low-sec exit of system. He jumps to the alliance side 
As we're trying to track him down again, laughter errupts over comms. Our friend in the brutix had decided to make a stand at a gate, get everyone to aggro him, then jump to safety and flee. Not a bad idea. The problem was, he jumped into a 0.6 system, and he was -8.3 sec status.
The authorities got to finish him off for us.
Death to Amarr |
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