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Help me kill my laptop!

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Donna Darko	Posted - 2007.01.24 15:00:00 - [1] About 2 years ago, I got myself a laptop so I can play my MMORPGs when travelling as well. Sadly, I made several mistakes. First, I didn't notice the words "shared video memory" until I opened the case, even though I had read the description on their website. Second, the first laptop I got should have given me a hint: I tried 3 laptops of the same model, 3 of them with the same problem (although the last one's were further spread out), namely that it didn't turn on when you pushed the button, or it did and froze before the POST. Third, when I finally found a working laptop, I bought it and bought the extended warranty as well. Now, the thing is great as far as office work is concerned, I think, and it can even play EVE relatively OK (5-7 FPS). Except that I can never warp to a POS (unless completely zoomed out) and recently, I cannot look at the system map after I launched a probe, because my Windows crashes the display drivers and I have to reboot. I tried several unofficial drivers, various other "hacks" off the net, but they don't work. The manufacturer never updated their graphic card drivers. So now this is getting on my nerves, especially since my work computer plays EVE at a 17-23 FPS. But I can't use it all the time, so I want to replace mine. The trick is the extended warranty: it allows me to replace it if it has broken down more than 3 times (for severe defects). So far, I have returned it twice, so third time's a charm... except the damned thing won't break down anymore!!! So I'm looking for subtle ways of breaking it down in such way that I can claim its replacement. Stories.
Hubbins Species 5618 Axiom Empire	Posted - 2007.01.24 15:11:00 - [2] Edited by: Hubbins on 24/01/2007 15:08:41 Go to some sketchy websites and download everything you can and run it and hope it messes something up. Open it up and remove / "damage" some parts. If that doesn't work try dropping it.
Verizana Reikoku Band of Brothers	Posted - 2007.01.24 15:13:00 - [3] next time, buy a macbook pro! bootcamp + windows = windows on mac mac even runs windows better
dennyreborn	Posted - 2007.01.24 15:25:00 - [4] carefully open your lap top. find the fan over the CPU. insert something into said fan to stop it from spinning on power up. turn on and run computer until it dies. open lap top again and remove object. it is the best way to break a computer with out "voiding warranty" you got to be real careful with a laptop though as they are hard to put together once you take them apart. also wear gloves just in case.
hattifnatt Gallente The Movement	Posted - 2007.01.24 15:27:00 - [5] Edited by: hattifnatt on 24/01/2007 15:23:48 Block all air exausts and see if it dies from overheating?
Shin Ra BURN EDEN	Posted - 2007.01.24 15:35:00 - [6] Use magnets on the hard drive. You don't even have to open it if you know where the HDD is inside. It will royally screw it up.
Twilight Moon Minmatar Malicious Intentions	Posted - 2007.01.24 16:02:00 - [7] Donate it to charity? Originally by: Tisanta i cry when i read your sig...
Marcus TheMartin Gallente Tuxedo.	Posted - 2007.01.24 16:04:00 - [8] I propose pron lots and lots of pron in a week you should have enough spyware to make your pc into an expensive toaster
Admai Sket	Posted - 2007.01.24 16:07:00 - [9] Can't you just take it back and say: "It is not suitable for the purpose that it was designed for" Or "It is not suitable for the purpose that it was sold to me for" Or something like that - basically, afaik in the UK anyway, if you say something like that, they can't argue. They'll just take it back and give you a refund or something. [/guessing] I got my sig snipped again. Can someone make me a new one?
Krulla Minmatar Queens of the Stone Age Anarchy Empire	Posted - 2007.01.24 16:49:00 - [10] Stick a magnet near the hard drive. Preferably one above and below for maximum effect, or jam the cooling wift/block up the exhaust ports and it will overheat. Those two should do the trick just fine. Sigs are for noobs.
MrTriggerHappy Caldari Interstellar eXodus R0ADKILL	Posted - 2007.01.24 16:49:00 - [11] Yeah electro-magnet should do the trick, unfort I believe it will have to be a fairly powerful one. You can google how to make one My Comments in no way reflect my corp or alliance
Vylac	Posted - 2007.01.24 17:23:00 - [12] I had to do the same to a desktop at one point. The method I used was to open it up so the motherboard was bare and then drop a handful of paperclips onto it and stand back. If you're lucky you should see a decent light show of sparks before your screen turns black.
Constantine Arcanum Gallente IMPERIAL SENATE Pure.	Posted - 2007.01.24 17:51:00 - [13] Originally by: Vylac I had to do the same to a desktop at one point. The method I used was to open it up so the motherboard was bare and then drop a handful of paperclips onto it and stand back. If you're lucky you should see a decent light show of sparks before your screen turns black. Best post of 2007! I helped - Cortes What a shiny and lovely place here - Eshtir Well lets make it a party atleast :D -Xorus RAWWWR!11!!1!2 SIG HIJACK!!11!1 I found it first, get orrrfff moiiii laaannnd - Cortes
Lyzander Caldari Mugen Academy	Posted - 2007.01.24 17:59:00 - [14] I'd probably just run a program that'll cause the harddrive to run continuously, then shake it while it's doing so until the HDD surface is sufficiently damaged. The "block-the-exhausts" plan is a good one too. --- ライザンダー　・　無限学園
Rick Thwaites mUfFiN fAcToRy	Posted - 2007.01.24 18:36:00 - [15] Originally by: Verizana next time, buy a macbook pro! bootcamp + windows = windows on mac mac even runs windows better Agreed. I run EVE with full settings on highest resolution and get about 55 FPS. I don't use my tower PC anymore, this is quicker. I caved. I bought a Mac. And I love it. -- Max sig dimensions are 400W x 120H - Cathath ([email protected]) Purple matches your eyes a little better, Cathath. = )! Not the first time I have been told I am too big...
Victor Valka Caldari Archon Industries	Posted - 2007.01.24 19:01:00 - [16] Well. If you want subtle you can try: a) frying the CPU, b) frying the GPU. With the amount of overclocking soft out there it should be of little problem to modify the voltage and/or clock speed on those and quickly removing the software or whatever. That's that road I would take if I wanted to do nastiest on some PC. Originally by: Diana Marc Notice that BoB is agreeing with RA's concern. That's like Elrond and Sauron agreeing to reduce carbon emissions.
Donna Darko	Posted - 2007.01.24 20:04:00 - [17] Originally by: dennyreborn carefully open your lap top. find the fan over the CPU. insert something into said fan to stop it from spinning on power up. turn on and run computer until it dies. open lap top again and remove object. I have direct access to two fans (and as far as I know, the only ones). But I was under the impression CPUs today shut down if they reach critical temperatures. If I can overcome that, you bet it was my first thought. The CPU is an Intel Pentium so called Mobile 3.06 Ghz. I was under the impression the real Mobile CPUs sport an Intel CPU, wireless and have low power consumption, thus a battery life of about 3-4 hours. Mine had 2 hours and it's more like a desktop's CPU and, although it has several Tx values (T0-T8), it has only one power state. Any idea how to disable the automatic shutdown? To be honest, I haven't even tried, but I am going home today and backing up my crap, then I'll stop the fans and cover it in 3 blankets. Originally by: Shin Ra Use magnets on the hard drive. You don't even have to open it if you know where the HDD is inside. It will royally screw it up. I know where they are, but as far as I know they have to be pretty damn strong magnets to mess it up. That'll probably be my second choice after overheating it. I'll look it up on Google. Originally by: Admai Sket Can't you just take it back and say: "It is not suitable for the purpose that it was designed for" Or "It is not suitable for the purpose that it was sold to me for" Or something like that - basically, afaik in the UK anyway, if you say something like that, they can't argue. They'll just take it back and give you a refund or something. [/guessing] Not after two years of use, sorry :( Originally by: Vylac I had to do the same to a desktop at one point. The method I used was to open it up so the motherboard was bare and then drop a handful of paperclips onto it and stand back. If you're lucky you should see a decent light show of sparks before your screen turns black. ROFLMAO! Originally by: Lyzander I'd probably just run a program that'll cause the harddrive to run continuously, then shake it while it's doing so until the HDD surface is sufficiently damaged. A long time ago, when I was more "into this sort of ****", I knew a few programs that could physically damage blocks. Unfortunately, I don't remember any of them. Know any? Also, laptop harddrives are somewhat more shock resistant and some even stop the drive if they have a shock (not sure if mine does it). Ideally I want to resort to something software thus "untraceable" :) It would be so much better if it ran in off a live Linux CD or something similar. Stories.
Saint Bubba Minmatar S.Y.N.D.R.O.M.E.	Posted - 2007.01.24 20:34:00 - [18] Originally by: dennyreborn carefully open your lap top. find the fan over the CPU. insert something into said fan to stop it from spinning on power up. turn on and run computer until it dies. open lap top again and remove object. it is the best way to break a computer with out "voiding warranty" you got to be real careful with a laptop though as they are hard to put together once you take them apart. also wear gloves just in case. Wear gloves part made me chuckle :P Originally by: Sakura Nihil That being said, the PvP Force is strong in this one, I forsee a good future full of whining carebears and jealous PvPers crushed under his heels .
Victor Valka Caldari Archon Industries	Posted - 2007.01.24 20:44:00 - [19] Originally by: Donna Darko Any idea how to disable the automatic shutdown? To be honest, I haven't even tried, but I am going home today and backing up my crap, then I'll stop the fans and cover it in 3 blankets. Dig around the good old BIOS for that. Most likely there is an option called "Threshold Temperature" or something like that. You know what to do from there. As for programs that can kill a HDD. Eh. Install GRUB. Then delete it. Viola! No more MBR. Don't ask how I know. Lets just say that now I know a whole damn lot about restoring the MBR. Funny story, really. Even involves Linux! Comedy gold, I tell ya! Originally by: Diana Marc Notice that BoB is agreeing with RA's concern. That's like Elrond and Sauron agreeing to reduce carbon emissions.
Donna Darko	Posted - 2007.01.24 21:42:00 - [20] Edited by: Donna Darko on 24/01/2007 21:39:34 No option in BIOS for that, in fact, if you ever seen a laptop's BIOS you would be deceived at how little options it has. I have done that in the past and fixed it right back, plus, you can start Linux and even Windows even without MBR. Grub remains in the MBR even if you delete the files from the Linux partition and can interpret commands. Unless you mean "install in MBR then uninstall it from MBR" - that I haven't tried. But this isn't going to physically damage the computer, just the data. The program I was thinking of kept reading (?) over and over and over the same block until it completely mangled it. That or it changed the alignment of the HDD, so it was no longer refferencing the right blocks on the HDD, but that can be fixed with a format (as far as I understand how things work). Stories.
Sameth Daret ECP Rogues Dusk and Dawn	Posted - 2007.01.24 22:23:00 - [21] Lob it through an MRI scaner that should do it, good luck geting it unstuck though :P
Khemical Gallente Supernova Security Systems	Posted - 2007.01.24 23:32:00 - [22] Wrap it in a blanket while run a CPU intensive program/game. That should cook something.
voogru Gallente Massive Damage	Posted - 2007.01.25 07:42:00 - [23] Screw up the windows installation to where it does not boot, send it back and tell them it's broken. The time it takes for them to figure out whats wrong with it is greater than the time it takes to replace it. They will replace it, no poor computer hardware has to die. The only type of computer hardware that deserves to die is PC CHIPS motherboards.
Weebear The Bowrey	Posted - 2007.01.25 09:52:00 - [24] Stick it in the microwave for 10 secs!
MrTriggerHappy Caldari Interstellar eXodus R0ADKILL	Posted - 2007.01.25 10:14:00 - [25] Originally by: Weebear Stick it in the microwave for 10 secs! lol and yes make sure your outside, with a good 100feet away from anything that can burn, set the microwave to as long as you want and just make sure you can run faster than Linford Christie. Oh, not only will you need a new laptop you'll need a new microwave! MRI scanner is a good idea.. they do ask that you remove any magnetic items before you go in.. time to make some friends in the hospital! My Comments in no way reflect my corp or alliance
Donna Darko	Posted - 2007.01.25 16:49:00 - [26] Originally by: Weebear Stick it in the microwave for 10 secs! LOL sure :) But that would be so obvious as soon as they open the case that they would void the warranty :) The MRI scanner idea made me laugh, I imagined the laptop going WOOP! sticking in the ceiling, and breaking in two (I think the MRI is round, right?). Then I laughed because I can actually do it :) having a friend that has access to one. I haven't backed up my data but sometimes this weekend this laptop goes bye-bye. Stories.
FooB2 Caldari Pre-nerfed Tactics	Posted - 2007.01.25 19:01:00 - [27] urinate into the fan vent above the CPU and tell them the dog did it.
Sameth Daret ECP Rogues Dusk and Dawn	Posted - 2007.01.25 19:11:00 - [28] My dad works in a big hospital in the radiology department, once saw a technical demo of a hammer flying stright through a breeze block wall when the mri was stwitched on. i tryed to find a vid but it dosent seem to be available anywhere
MrTriggerHappy Caldari Interstellar eXodus R0ADKILL	Posted - 2007.01.26 08:36:00 - [29] Heh I've been in an MRI scanner.. its not a very nice thing to sit in. I imagine it like sitting inside a PC.. All you get is this little air pipe and told to wave it about your face to cool you off.. and if you panic start making funny faces and kick your feet. The final thoughts going through your mind before it turns on "Now I don't have anything metal anywhere else in my pockets that i've forgotten about do I?" Anyway.. its prob the best bet, you could wrap it in bubble wrap into the shape of a round ball I suppose?!? My Comments in no way reflect my corp or alliance
Mutlu Palutli Asur Heavy Industries United Connection's	Posted - 2007.01.26 12:55:00 - [30] Originally by: Victor Valka As for programs that can kill a HDD. Eh. Install GRUB. Then delete it. Viola! No more MBR. QFT I did that with my hdd but not on purpose.. nothing to do really.. so it works
Suze'Rain	Posted - 2007.01.26 21:33:00 - [31] go for subtle - go open up your vacuum cleaner, and get a spoon/hand/cat/tool. pull out dust from vac, sprinkle gently into air inlet vents. keep sprinkling more dust in. ideally, run the PC on the most troublesome CPU-intensive programme you have. clog the fan up, fry the mobo. no software on it, no incriminating marks, it just sucked in too much dust and overheated. a long metal rod put in while the laptop's off (dont inset while running, as it'll hit the spinning fan, and scratch the fam blades - physical evidence) to jam into a fan will also do the trick nicely. you could also hope the screen is poorly affixed, and go for the "open and close the laptop 10,000 times" approach and fatigue the wires to the display till one breaks?
Whirleybird FW Inc	Posted - 2007.01.26 21:57:00 - [32] 1. cool cdrom/dvd until it gets very brittle (dry-ice, liquid nitrogen, supercold freezer) 2. insert into cd-player, spin up 3. voilß
Donna Darko	Posted - 2007.01.26 22:44:00 - [33] The rod approach was what I was thinking of using, but combined with dust in the fans I think that's golden :) I had thought about the open/close lid as well, but I'd get tired of doing it after a few minutes. What the hell does a frozen CD do? I got 3 and it's -15 Celcius outside :) Does it break? Stories.
Tek'a Rain Gallente Di-Tron Heavy Industries Freelancer Alliance	Posted - 2007.01.27 08:41:00 - [34] split a lamp-cord "emergency difibrulator style" and give a zap into the battery connect prongs or the power cord connect socket. pretty sparks.
shakaZ XIV Caldari True Salvation	Posted - 2007.01.27 23:03:00 - [35] microwave it
Tacitus Krekt	Posted - 2007.01.31 07:49:00 - [36] Edited by: Tacitus Krekt on 31/01/2007 07:47:25 Edited by: Tacitus Krekt on 31/01/2007 07:46:29 Edited by: Tacitus Krekt on 31/01/2007 07:45:59 Drop it. Then return it, and tell them that the baggage screener at the airport did it. Hrrm...The monitor screen was disconnected from the mounting, cd drive was torn to bits (disc got stuck. I had to...remove it...as I'm sure someone here knows the horrors of blockbuster late fees). There was a nice dent on the base of the case (duct tape fixed it for a while), and the keyboard wouldn't lock in. ...worked for me. True story. Such is the life of owning a mac. (and yes I felt bad afterward. However, I had the extended warranty. Checked online and I had 760 some odd days left. I figured it should go to use...) edit, I can't say *? as in broken? structural failure?
Na'Thuul Caldari Sanguine Legion	Posted - 2007.01.31 15:49:00 - [37] Originally by: FooB2 urinate into the fan vent above the CPU and tell them the dog did it. Win --- [08:41:12] Nebulai > unless your offering me cheap pills, I don't see it
FooB2 Caldari Northern Intelligence SMASH Alliance	Posted - 2007.01.31 16:12:00 - [38] it works. ive tried it. would you open up a broken laptop to inspect whats wrong with it if it smelt like dog ****? no you wouldnt.
Weebear The Bowrey	Posted - 2007.01.31 16:27:00 - [39] Edited by: Weebear on 31/01/2007 16:24:05 Edited by: Weebear on 31/01/2007 16:23:30 oops, posted in the wrong window :P
Beetle Boy Minmatar Hybrid Syndicate Curse Alliance	Posted - 2007.01.31 22:57:00 - [40] Easy have a British Main Battle Tank fire a shell at it or Send it to me and i can take it for shooting practise with the SA 80 then let a nice tornado f3 drag in the air while the afterburners are on :)
Monkey Spankah coracao ardente	Posted - 2007.01.31 23:12:00 - [41] If you have any child over the age of 14 give it to him and watch him bring it back in 30 minutes infested with so much free emotions msn aids and all kinds of freaky **** that the laptop will just give up and die. It works i've tried
Brother Benthor FinFleet Lotka Volterra	Posted - 2007.02.01 02:14:00 - [42] Edited by: Brother Benthor on 01/02/2007 02:12:21 If it has g-force or nvidea Download your drivers here: Omega Drivers (ATI and GeForce) Boost the overclocking to 500% or something and I bet it will fry before you login on EVE. Edit: wait... but u gonna need to be able to remove the drivers afterwards... hmm... that might be a problem. -ACCEPTING new REQUESTS-
Crumplecorn Gallente Aliastra	Posted - 2007.02.01 11:14:00 - [43] Try to install linux. ---------- IBTL \o/ EVE is upside down! WTZ+Slower Warp=Win
Xendie Forsaken Empire The Forsaken Empire	Posted - 2007.02.01 12:41:00 - [44] Originally by: hattifnatt Edited by: hattifnatt on 24/01/2007 15:23:48 Block all air exausts and see if it dies from overheating? thats the easiest version that doesnt leave any trace either :) Quote: Nertzius > having fun being incompetitent? Quote: jake sisko > its f-e's bob dev alt making lag
Suziki BoD	Posted - 2007.02.01 14:53:00 - [45] I cant believe no-one has suggested going on a short plane trip and accidently putting the laptop through the x-ray luggage scanner
GAC	Posted - 2007.02.01 15:36:00 - [46] Originally by: Suziki BoD I cant believe no-one has suggested going on a short plane trip and accidently putting the laptop through the x-ray luggage scanner dosnt do nothing, mine went through at least 6 in the last 18 months and it was fine.
elbenito Battlestars Curse Alliance	Posted - 2007.02.01 16:10:00 - [47] Darn those power surges...
Paddlefoot Aeon Neogen Industries Serenity Fallen	Posted - 2007.02.01 18:53:00 - [48] Originally by: elbenito Darn those power surges... Brilliant! -----------------------------------------------
Yarnesh Vitora Minmatar Imperial Ravens	Posted - 2007.02.01 19:55:00 - [49] I love this thread. Some brilliant ideas that i'll have to try myself. Now anyone know where I can get a couple of cheap pc's?
Hast Destructive Influence Band of Brothers	Posted - 2007.02.01 21:02:00 - [50] etherkiller > * Originally by: omeega PICTURE TOO BIG, KGB INCOMING HAVE FUN.

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