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Jason Galente
Pandemic Horde Inc.
Pandemic Horde
389
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Posted - 2016.05.17 16:16:01 -
[1] - Quote
Horde Fleet Commander Travis Keikira Activates Death Star, Blaps Goon Fleet. DBRB Dazed and Confused
Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational Pillow Fortizar!
At the signal of the Horde kazoo, Travis Keikira destroyed 55 hostile interceptors (and a few friendlies) using Pillow Fortizar's point defense system after Imperium Fleet Commander and Sword of the Emperor, dabigredboat, warped his fleet to 16km because he didn't know the Citadel could hit him at that incredibly close range.
The Weekly TL;DR has exclusive footage of this historic fuckup.
Dying Wish Foundation Brings Small Child to Intergalactic Summit channel
Little Timmy Ronuken, aged 8, has 3 weeks to live. The Dying Wish Foundation, an organization famous for funding the dreams of children with terminal illnesses before they pass, recently made little Timmy's dreams come true. He always wanted to be a capsuleer when he grew up, so he asked Dying Wish if they could secure him a connection to talk to his childhood idols on the Intergalactic Summit.
Connecting to the channel, Little Timmy was immediately asked to impregnate a fanatical Blood Raider woman, and the organization closed the connection immediately.
Dying Wish Foundation has declined to comment at this time.
The Mittani Undocks (No, really)
Lolwut.
Capsuleer Karaoke Party Announced, Promising a Repeat of the Anvent Eturrer Execution
Cover your ears.
Makoto Priano Actually Reports Real News
Silly girl, nobody wants real news.
Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole.
And this foundation must be defended.
At any cost
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Avio Yaken
Anshar Incorporated
Monyusaiya Industry Trade Group
2162
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Posted - 2016.05.17 16:28:54 -
[2] - Quote
Jason Galente wrote:
Dying Wish Foundation Brings Small Child to Intergalactic Summit channel
Little Timmy Ronuken, aged 8, has 3 weeks to live. The Dying Wish Foundation, an organization famous for funding the dreams of children with terminal illnesses before they pass, recently made little Timmy's dreams come true. He always wanted to be a capsuleer when he grew up, so he asked Dying Wish if they could secure him a connection to talk to his childhood idols on the Intergalactic Summit.
Connecting to the channel, Little Timmy was immediately asked to impregnate a fanatical Blood Raider woman, and the organization closed the connection immediately.
Dying Wish Foundation has declined to comment at this time.
Welp.
There goes my sides, thanks OP
Although its truly tragic situation Timmy is in..
(.___________________________________________.)/
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Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
1174
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Posted - 2016.05.17 16:35:54 -
[3] - Quote
Hey! Avios back!!! Hi avio!!!! |
Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
Sani-Sabik
1411
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Posted - 2016.05.17 16:43:23 -
[4] - Quote
Jason Galente wrote:a fanatical Blood Raider woman
Was it Funk ?
I bet it was Funk.
It sounds like it was Funk.
Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
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Rook Moray
Pandemic Horde Inc.
Pandemic Horde
127
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Posted - 2016.05.17 16:43:28 -
[5] - Quote
During the fight I got the chance to dock up in Saranen because I needed to buy a new ship....yeah, yeah, reasons. Kinda flattering that my lil ole Ares got alpha'd. Means I was doing my job.
But I gotta say, having been in that station, I don't see what's so special about it. Truth, it's kind of a dump. Maybe the Goons finally realized that they've been camping in a hovel? Maybe after Boat got blap tooted by Travis and our Pillow Fort(izar), they got a bad case of station-envy and didn't want to stay in their space-tent any longer?
I'm not sayin my presence there scared Mittens into undocking. I'm sure it was just a coincidence...
But hey, I made it back to O1Y in the same pod I left with and caused a lot more ISK damage than I got., So yeah, good fight.
Saranen is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to spend two years docked up there. 6/10. Would visit again.
GÇ£When you want to know how things really work, study them when they're coming apart.GÇ¥ -Guristas Proverb.
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Jason Galente
Pandemic Horde Inc.
Pandemic Horde
391
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Posted - 2016.05.17 16:46:57 -
[6] - Quote
Rook Moray wrote:During the fight I got the chance to dock up in Saranen because I needed to buy a new ship....yeah, yeah, reasons. Kinda flattering that my lil ole Ares got alpha'd. Means I was doing my job.
But I gotta say, having been in that station, I don't see what's so special about it. Truth, it's kind of a dump. Maybe the Goons finally realized that they've been camping in a hovel? Maybe after Boat got blap tooted by Travis and our Pillow Fort(izar), they got a bad case of station-envy and didn't want to stay in their space-tent any longer?
I'm not sayin my presence there scared Mittens into undocking. I'm sure it was just a coincidence...
But hey, I made it back to O1Y in the same pod I left with and caused a lot more ISK damage than I got., So yeah, good fight.
Saranen is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to spend two years docked up there. 6/10. Would visit again.
What are you talking about?
I thought it was a nice soda warehouse.
Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole.
And this foundation must be defended.
At any cost
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Rook Moray
Pandemic Horde Inc.
Pandemic Horde
128
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Posted - 2016.05.17 16:49:10 -
[7] - Quote
Jason Galente wrote:
What are you talking about?
I thought it was a nice soda warehouse.
Could you spend two years living in a soda warehouse?
GÇ£When you want to know how things really work, study them when they're coming apart.GÇ¥ -Guristas Proverb.
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Karina Ivanovich
Pandemic Horde Inc.
Pandemic Horde
55
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Posted - 2016.05.17 16:53:00 -
[8] - Quote
Rook Moray wrote:Jason Galente wrote:
What are you talking about?
I thought it was a nice soda warehouse.
Could you spend two years living in a soda warehouse?
If it were the right soda I might. But not with all those poor wretches that currently live there. I may come from the Calgary Stare, but even I have SOME standards on whom I will associate with. Bees are not normally on my list.
Some call me insane. If the universe is sane, then I embrace that label.
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Avio Yaken
Anshar Incorporated
Monyusaiya Industry Trade Group
2164
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Posted - 2016.05.17 17:31:43 -
[9] - Quote
Deitra Vess wrote:Hey! Avios back!!! Hi avio!!!!
Hellooooooooo~
(.___________________________________________.)/
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D'Hoffryn Farhat
Hematology Advancement Program
I N G L O R I O U S
6
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Posted - 2016.05.17 21:52:29 -
[10] - Quote
As Miss Funk's attorney, I'm asking Jason Galente to cease and desist this slander.
It should be noted that Miss Funk has no interest in minors or baselines and is currently in a relationship. |
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Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
1176
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Posted - 2016.05.17 22:10:02 -
[11] - Quote
To be fair, he never mentioned Anyanka..... Also..... The Mittani really undocked??? Didn't realize those bee guys are that desperate for active members.... |
Rook Moray
Pandemic Horde Inc.
Pandemic Horde
130
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Posted - 2016.05.17 22:12:33 -
[12] - Quote
D'Hoffryn Farhat wrote:As Miss Funk's attorney, I'm asking Jason Galente to cease and desist this slander.
It should be noted that Miss Funk has no interest in minors or baselines and is currently in a relationship.
As Mr. Galente's attorney I would like to answer your request. Simply put...
Go **** yourself.
It should be noted that if you seriously want to serve a "cease and desist" request, you can deliver it, in person, to the O1Y-ED Pillow Fortizar.
Have a nice day.
GÇ£When you want to know how things really work, study them when they're coming apart.GÇ¥ -Guristas Proverb.
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Karina Ivanovich
Pandemic Horde Inc.
Pandemic Horde
57
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Posted - 2016.05.17 22:42:20 -
[13] - Quote
As Mr. Galente's self proclaimed and *unofficial* publicist I must protest your protest of his Totally Laudable and Dependable Reporting**.
Also, according to Caldari State PENAL code 348-23A Subsection AF43 paragraph 76 line 42: "Slander and Libal claims that are inconsequential to the affairs of the state are subject to public discourse before being brought before the courts." Similar statutes are in effect in all Empire state.
Therefore I invite anyone claiming the opposite of what is proclaimed here to offer up proof to the contrary or be on their way.
*Karina Ivanovich takes and claims no responsibility for the actions of Jason Galente or Rook Moray.
**TL;DR is neither owned nor operated by Karina Ivanovich or her constituents.
Some call me insane. If the universe is sane, then I embrace that label.
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Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
1823
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Posted - 2016.05.18 04:49:34 -
[14] - Quote
Rook Moray wrote:D'Hoffryn Farhat wrote:As Miss Funk's attorney, I'm asking Jason Galente to cease and desist this slander.
It should be noted that Miss Funk has no interest in minors or baselines and is currently in a relationship. As Mr. Galente's attorney I would like to answer your request. Simply put... Go **** yourself. It should be noted that if you seriously want to serve a "cease and desist" request, you can deliver it, in person, to the O1Y-ED Pillow Fortizar. Have a nice day.
Just warp in under their defence at 16Km.
A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
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Tyrel Toov
Non-Hostile Target
730
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Posted - 2016.05.18 04:53:45 -
[15] - Quote
Jason Galente wrote:The Mittani Undocks (No, really)Lolwut.
Wait. He's a real person!? I thought he was a myth, like Amarrian compassion... or an intelligent Diana Kim post.....
I want to paint my ship Periwinkle.
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Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
1178
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Posted - 2016.05.18 04:53:46 -
[16] - Quote
Uh Claudia..... I don't think that would help.....
Also, Diana has had one or two intelligent posts. They're surprisingly refreshing from the whole "death to Gallante" slant she always has, and honestly if she did more of them she more than likely would actually gain supporters. |
Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
1824
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Posted - 2016.05.18 14:45:22 -
[17] - Quote
Deitra Vess wrote:Uh Claudia..... I don't think that would help.....
You don't know until you try.
A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
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Jason Galente
Pandemic Horde Inc.
Pandemic Horde
393
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Posted - 2016.05.18 15:02:08 -
[18] - Quote
Hooray, I already have unpaid interns!
Thanks Rook and Karina!
Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole.
And this foundation must be defended.
At any cost
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Yarosara Ruil
314
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Posted - 2016.05.18 15:40:34 -
[19] - Quote
Could you guys not bad talk my boss, please?
She embarrasses me and the entire corporation enough already without you guys helping! And at this rate I'll have to wear a paper bag on my head or something...
That or biomass myself. Apparently you are not supposed to use Inferno Precision Missions on Battleships or something... |
Jason Galente
Pandemic Horde Inc.
Pandemic Horde
394
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Posted - 2016.05.18 16:51:46 -
[20] - Quote
Story Update! dabigredboat has been demoted from fleet command
Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole.
And this foundation must be defended.
At any cost
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Natheniel
Mostly Sober
The Bastard Cartel
103
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Posted - 2016.05.18 18:05:18 -
[21] - Quote
Jason Galente wrote:Story Update! dabigredboat has been demoted from fleet command
Please tell me if you are being serious or not, this is insanely seriously important.
"Life is as a storm, one must be prepared for the hardship and scorn. But with in this is a light, one for which we must fight. For hope is our weapon and our dreams are our shield. When fully armed we can not be felled from the field."
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Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
1180
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Posted - 2016.05.18 18:52:50 -
[22] - Quote
Jason Galente wrote:Story Update! dabigredboat has been demoted from fleet command
Does this mean I won't be able to watch* him lead people sacrificing numerous interceptors into citidels and other completely pointless (for an interceptor to attack) combatants anymore? Great, now what will I laugh at? Is it sad I kinda hope it's not true? And before anyone says anything those crews are pretty dumb for taking jobs on their ships. It's pretty obvious they're going to die and yet they sign up for it anyways...
* hosted later on galnet sites to avoid him profiting off of hundreds of crew members' lives. No I'm not talking about the live feed which he profits off of viewers. |
Karina Ivanovich
Pandemic Horde Inc.
Pandemic Horde
61
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Posted - 2016.05.18 19:00:17 -
[23] - Quote
This has been stated from DBRB himself. However he has been know to troll people about leaving the game before, so who knows?
Some call me insane. If the universe is sane, then I embrace that label.
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Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
1180
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Posted - 2016.05.18 19:05:54 -
[24] - Quote
Hmm.... well ya that's true wouldn't surprise me in this little war game the major capsuleers powers have weaved. What else would you expect from a douche who attacked a spectre memorial fleet for someone who's cloning process failed. |
Jason Galente
Pandemic Horde Inc.
Pandemic Horde
395
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Posted - 2016.05.18 20:54:19 -
[25] - Quote
Natheniel wrote:Jason Galente wrote:Story Update! dabigredboat has been demoted from fleet command
Please tell me if you are being serious or not, this is insanely seriously important.
As far as I know, this is a thing that actually happened.
Only the liberty of the individual assures the prosperity of the whole.
And this foundation must be defended.
At any cost
|
Katherie Hobbes
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
32
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Posted - 2016.05.18 21:03:01 -
[26] - Quote
Inties anchor on me. *Pop!* |
Rook Moray
Pandemic Horde Inc.
Pandemic Horde
134
|
Posted - 2016.05.18 23:58:46 -
[27] - Quote
Natheniel wrote:Jason Galente wrote:Story Update! dabigredboat has been demoted from fleet command
Please tell me if you are being serious or not, this is insanely seriously important.
Serious.
Mittens didn't want that FC anyway.
GÇ£When you want to know how things really work, study them when they're coming apart.GÇ¥ -Guristas Proverb.
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Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
Sani-Sabik
1419
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Posted - 2016.05.19 17:02:14 -
[28] - Quote
Jason Galente wrote:Story Update! dabigredboat has since been demoted from fleet command
The Mittani Undocks (No, really)
So, Jason.
Would you say that this is a sign that the Mittani is now going to be taking personal command of the war effort, in order to reverse the recent setbacks, and turn the whole situation around ?
if not, what would you say ?
Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
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Lyris Nairn
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
12420
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Posted - 2016.05.19 19:32:46 -
[29] - Quote
Jason Galente wrote:Natheniel wrote:Jason Galente wrote:Story Update! dabigredboat has been demoted from fleet command
Please tell me if you are being serious or not, this is insanely seriously important. As far as I know, this is a thing that actually happened.
There is stupid, and then there is stupid enough to get trolled by DBRB.
Sky Captain of Your Heart
Reddit: lyris_nairn
Skype: lyris.nairn
Twitter: @lyris_nairn
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Morgan Wulver
Night Theifs
Curatores Veritatis Alliance
119
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Posted - 2016.05.20 05:41:07 -
[30] - Quote
Though young Timmy Ronuken may not be long for this world, and his dreams of being a capsuleer took an eccentric detour, I will carry on his legacy throughout the cluster. While he may never be an immortal, I will ensure that the young man will forever be immortalized as the greatest meme in New Eden.
As such, I will have a thirty foot tall gold statue erected in his honor in Providence, depicting Ronuken in all of his detail and glory sitting beneath a bent over and mildly satisfied Funk-haani.
I will also grant him the honor of renaming my prized Gila the Spent Timmy.
Kirjuun! Uakan! Teknikiara! Kanpai kameitsamuu! Ra ra ra!
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