| Pages: [1] :: one page |
| Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 0 post(s) |
Professor Bunsen
   |
Posted - 2007.03.01 11:32:00 -
[1]
I am fed up with the cloistered academic shortsightedness of the University environment and have resolved to create a biotech empire worthy of my planet sized brain.
Research opportunities have been identified, and over the next few days I will be visiting offices and drawing up documents of incorporation.
My first step will be to find backers for early seed capital and my target is to raise 100mil isk to set up the first station laboratory. Those farsighted individuals who wish to support the advancement of science, and make a high risk investment with a biotech startup will receive 1 free share per mil donated at incorporation.
Naysayers, sceptics and beancounters will not apply, should stick to their safe low return investments and save their breath. I have had enough moaning from the University auditors and petty minded bureaucrats who wouldn't know a quazar frigelide complex from a can on Quafe to last me a lifetime. There are no guarantees here, you don't know anything about my work, and you have only my word I'm a genius, so this is a punt with a trivial amount of isk for the business community which may or may not pay off hansomely.
This is one biotech startup that you will not regret investing in.
Prof. Bunsen
|
Pang Grohl
Gallente
|
Posted - 2007.03.01 18:29:00 -
[2]
You are absolutely correct, because I won't be investing in it.
Why? Because you're asking for 100 million isk to do something. I can guess from your use of the term biotech, that you may be doing something with boosters, but investors tend to want something more concrete than a guess.
Good luck with your, um, punt.
Si non adjuvas, noces
(If you're not helping, you're hurting) |
Valrandir
Gallente
Shiva
Morsus Mihi
|
Posted - 2007.03.01 19:34:00 -
[3]
I'll take some shares if you eve-mail me about it.
--------------------------------
This has surpassed the Yarrdware specification and has been dubbed Uberware
|
Ionia
Advanced Manufacturing
|
Posted - 2007.03.01 19:52:00 -
[4]
 Originally by: Professor Bunsen
will receive 1 free share per mil donated at incorporation
Prof. Bunsen
rofl, i love this line
|
Professor Bunsen
|
Posted - 2007.03.03 09:47:00 -
[5]
Edited by: Professor Bunsen on 03/03/2007 09:43:41
Prospectus details are at http://groups.google.com/group/optech-scientific/web
|
Sophie Marceaux
Akhetaten
|
Posted - 2007.03.03 15:25:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Ionia
Originally by: Professor Bunsen
will receive 1 free share per mil donated at incorporation
Prof. Bunsen
rofl, i love this line
I love the whole post 
5m isk sent Professor! Look forward to receiving my shares shortly!
Sophie
|
Auri Hella
The Graduates
Ivy League
|
Posted - 2007.03.03 15:54:00 -
[7]
Hilarious concept. I have no problem risking a whole 5 million on this if it provides me with more of these posts.
Good luck to you sir 
|
Professor Bunsen
Optech Scientific
|
Posted - 2007.03.04 14:45:00 -
[8]
Week 1 - day 2 of OSF
Its been an intolerable week! First I had to address piloting that heap of junk they call an Ibis, and then suffer an interminablely long "tutorial" from a training bot called Aurora. Ye Gods! Talk about pitched at the lowest common denominator "Don't forget to pick up your cargo before you go!" and don't forget to to empty your bladder before embarking on a long flight no doubt. I'm not at all pleased at having to waste my time with such things but needs must.
I have never previously bothered with the state of my wallet because as a senior researcher at the SAK our needs are pretty well met by the University. However having aquired my pod pilots licence I really needed to get some isk under my belt so a quick check of the markets to identify a suitabhle trade run and off I went 16 jumps to the arse end of Mastokonnen. Click on the autopilot and settle down for a quiet read of developments with alkane fluorodesis. Its not exactly hard is it?
As I'm flying along I have my Ctrl-V repeater set to broadcast an advert about my project to local and my pilot biolog has further details. What is it about the Civire? Some of the worst cases of acromegally I've seen, an almost festishistic obsession for camouflage clothing and at the back of the queue when it comes to handing out brains. One of the many who reflexly yelled "scam" had a name composed with numbers instead of numbers 4C3W4Nk3R or somesuch. I accused him of being a mining bot and moved on.
Anyway by the end of the second day I'm at 750k isk and have a big 3 units in the OSF sold. You enlightened ones know who you are, thanks.
After crashing for a bit I fire up the old Ibis and make a few more runs, cross region this time noting down prices and settle into a nice vein buy 85k, sell 107k, rinse and repeat. Needless to say the balance moves on nicely and I've pushed up to 8mil in the personal wallet plus some more OSF units sold by the end of the day. Corp management basics squared away and the Optech name secured with the corp registered address Jita 4-4 Caldari Navy. How's that for class! Can't afford an office there but it does look nice on the letterhead!
On waking today there was a bit of bad news. The market orders had done their job overnight and I had a couple of hundred units of my isk maker in various hangars in Lonetrek, but the Jita buy order was all but gone. Whereas yesterday there was about 10k units buying @ 107k now 200 left at that price. in my cold sweat I docked at the wrong station and watched in horror as the buy order dropped to 36 in front of my eyes, I'm certain I hit some other ships in my hurry to undock and I certainly hit the decelleration field hard as I slammed in to the next door station to dump the last of my cargo at 90k. A measly 5k profit per.
So day 4 since quitting SAK. Day 2 since forming corp. Corp wallet standing at a whisker under 42 mil which is a reasonable 20% profit in the first 24 hours.
...now if you will excuse me I must get back to my trading screens. There's some kind of problem in the logic loop that I'm trying to defibrillate.
Bunsen
|
Tra' Shaz
Gallente
Ramdon Industries corporation
|
Posted - 2007.03.05 01:02:00 -
[9]
hello professor, love the name 
Good luck in your venture, and im looking forward to my free shares
Tra' Shaz
RIC / Finance |
Almiel
Gallente
Xenodus Syndicate
|
Posted - 2007.03.05 04:50:00 -
[10]
Step 1 - Send 5 mil using 5 characters for a total of 25mil
Step 2 - Ask for shares
Step 3 - Shares refused, no refund
**** This scam 
|
Professor Bunsen
Optech Scientific
|
Posted - 2007.03.05 10:05:00 -
[11]
Dear Almiel/Holy Pearl at al.
Thank you for your interest in investing in Optech Scientific. Unfortunately submitting multiple applications under several "nom de plume" was contrary to the spirit and letter of our prospectus. Our applications department did try to point this out to you but unfortunately you went on to make a false declaration which raised my blood pressure.
As stated you will receive a full refund but we will not be accepting your investment.
We take our reputation very seriously at Optech and will of course fully investigate your allegation of dishonest trading. This investigation will take a minimum of 7 working days and we regret that we cannot pay interest on your 25 million isk during that time.
Please be advised that whilst we are happy to investigate any other complaints you may have, we do have a 5 mil administration fee for multiple complaints and the additional complexity may further delay the refund of your money.
Bunsen
|
Sun Win
Mutually Assured Distraction
|
Posted - 2007.03.05 15:03:00 -
[12]
With rigorous customer service like that, how can I refuse?
5 million ISK sent.
New to Eve? Learn to Fly - join channel: "Eve University" or read here |
Pearl Thunder
|
Posted - 2007.03.05 17:25:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Professor Bunsen
Dear Almiel/Holy Pearl at al.
Thank you for your interest in investing in Optech Scientific. Unfortunately submitting multiple applications under several "nom de plume" was contrary to the spirit and letter of our prospectus. Our applications department did try to point this out to you but unfortunately you went on to make a false declaration which raised my blood pressure.
As stated you will receive a full refund but we will not be accepting your investment.
We take our reputation very seriously at Optech and will of course fully investigate your allegation of dishonest trading. This investigation will take a minimum of 7 working days and we regret that we cannot pay interest on your 25 million isk during that time.
Please be advised that whilst we are happy to investigate any other complaints you may have, we do have a 5 mil administration fee for multiple complaints and the additional complexity may further delay the refund of your money.
Bunsen
I'm not sure what noodle you are talking about there.
How can it takes 7 days to reimburse while it took us 10 minutes to send in the cash?
I wish for you to be enslaved and to be stuck in an overcrowded cell with minmatars from MGRL.
|
Hugh Ironfist
|
Posted - 2007.03.05 18:13:00 -
[14]
rofl, he's still referring to himself as "us." Personally I think the Professor is totally justified in charging a service fee for having to waste his precious research time investigating administrative complaints such as this one.
|
Professor Bunsen
Optech Scientific
|
Posted - 2007.03.05 20:17:00 -
[15]
Quote:
I'm not sure what noodle you are talking about there.
How can it takes 7 days to reimburse while it took us 10 minutes to send in the cash?
Oh dear, another complaint, meaning more time away from the research :(
Regretfully your maximum refund will therefore be 20 mil. If Optech has failed to satisfy you in any other ways please do not hesitate to draw this to our attention.
|
Professor Bunsen
Optech Scientific
|
Posted - 2007.03.08 09:35:00 -
[16]
Quote:
2007.03.08 00:10
Xenodus Syndicate has declared war on Optech Scientific.
After 24 hours fighting can legally occur between those involved.
Optech would like like to reassure investors that they adopt industry standard best practice in such situations. I will be catching up on some reading in Jita and our operation will continue as usual.
We regret that war legal expenses have largely wiped out the remaining funds we held on deposit for Valrandir = Almiel = Pearl Thunder = Virya = Holy Pearl. As there was only 5 isk remaining of initial funds we have returned this 3 days before our normal 7 day refund period as a gesture of goodwill. 
Bunsen
|
Sophie Marceaux
Akhetaten
|
Posted - 2007.03.08 09:43:00 -
[17]
Originally by: Professor Bunsen
Quote:
2007.03.08 00:10
Xenodus Syndicate has declared war on Optech Scientific.
After 24 hours fighting can legally occur between those involved.
Optech would like like to reassure investors that they adopt industry standard best practice in such situations. I will be catching up on some reading in Jita and our operation will continue as usual.
We regret that war legal expenses have largely wiped out the remaining funds we held on deposit for Valrandir = Almiel = Pearl Thunder = Virya = Holy Pearl. As there was only 5 isk remaining of initial funds we have returned this 3 days before our normal 7 day refund period as a gesture of goodwill.
Bunsen
lol I love this.....
glad to see my investment is in capable hands
Sophie
|
Tra' Shaz
Gallente
Ramdon Industries corporation
|
Posted - 2007.03.08 22:28:00 -
[18]
Edited by: Tra'' Shaz on 08/03/2007 22:26:51
Edited by: Tra'' Shaz on 08/03/2007 22:25:00
Originally by: Professor Bunsen
Quote:
2007.03.08 00:10
Xenodus Syndicate has declared war on Optech Scientific.
After 24 hours fighting can legally occur between those involved.
Optech would like like to reassure investors that they adopt industry standard best practice in such situations. I will be catching up on some reading in Jita and our operation will continue as usual.
We regret that war legal expenses have largely wiped out the remaining funds we held on deposit for Valrandir = Almiel = Pearl Thunder = Virya = Holy Pearl. As there was only 5 isk remaining of initial funds we have returned this 3 days before our normal 7 day refund period as a gesture of goodwill.
Bunsen
Nice to see that you are staying true to your starting form
btw the Blog is a great idea for information cascading and I enjoy reading it 
Tra' Shaz
RIC / Finance |
Kahn Mer
Torchwood Industries
|
Posted - 2007.03.08 23:56:00 -
[19]
Sending you 5 mil for shares.
Reminds me considerably of the Billionaire Bucaneer.
Even if it is a scam, it's entertaining enough to be worth the isk
|
Maarg
Viziam
|
Posted - 2007.03.09 16:26:00 -
[20]
hehe, I aint investing coz this has gotta be a scam, due to his behaviour on refunds..... but its an entertaining read nontheless.
Cheers
Maarg
|
Pearl Thunder
|
Posted - 2007.03.09 16:40:00 -
[21]
|
Ezoran DuBlaidd
Minmatar
Rivers Enterprises
Power Corrupts Industry's
|
Posted - 2007.03.09 21:53:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Maarg
hehe, I aint investing coz this has gotta be a scam, due to his behaviour on refunds..... but its an entertaining read nontheless.
Cheers
Maarg
 hi, i want to send you 25m instead of just 5m cuz i want more.
 no, everyone gets one share of the pie.
zombwtfbbq~!@~!@@!@~ i demand 25m worth`!@#!@#!
no, go away.
yeah, um, maybe children should learn manners?  |
Auri Hella
The Graduates
Ivy League
|
Posted - 2007.03.11 23:33:00 -
[23]
I recieved almost 35% of my investment today in dividends.
I'm laughing all the way to the bank
|
Professor Bunsen
Optech Scientific
|
Posted - 2007.03.15 10:30:00 -
[24]
I am pleased to announce that the Optech Startup Fund has again performed admirably this week and as a consequence it will be wound up this weekend after only 2 weeks. It's job is done.
A final "dividend" will be paid on Saturday and returned along with the initial investment and if I can get the stock off the shelves in time I should have returned my inspired/foolish investors over 70% profit in 2 weeks.
I am also pleased to announce the successor to the OSF link.
Bunsen
Optech Scientific Information Centre |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] :: one page |
| First page | Previous page | Next page | Last page |