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Halod Crane
Bastage Incorporated
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Posted - 2007.03.12 17:44:00 -
[1]
----------> Clipped from your local billboard <----------
Bastage member Halod Crane stated in a news conference today that he was shocked to hear that according to recent findings they were infact, not pirates.
"I know we spend our time in unsecure space killing anything that moves, however I was relieved to find out that in point of fact what we are doing is not piracy nor infact combat." Halod told the crowd of bored reporters paid to be there.
"You see, we were working in our home system and after a particularly lucrative hauler exploded we learned from the pilot that we were 'carebears'." Halod continued "Not only that! Apparently 'real pvp is in 0.0' space. Since we operate mainly in low sec, I think the findings are clear. We do not participate in PvP or piracy."
"At this time I would like to publicly state that Bastage Inc. is in no way affiliated with piracy. We are, infact, carebears who 'are too newb to do real pvp'. All bounties should be revoked, and anyone passing through our systems need take no measures to secure themselves, since we are NOT pirates. As further proof of this, I would also like to point out that we usually do not ransom and since that is the definition of piracy according to some, I think the findings are clear." Halod said in closing.
He then proceeded to hold the reporters at gunpoint, take all their valuables and run off while loudly proclaiming "Don't worry, I didn't just mug you. We're in lowsec after all and I didn't ransom you. Remember, NOT pirates."
-------------> End clip <---------------
Inspired by posts and ingame conversations with clueless targets :)
Bastage Inc.
We do it for the hate mail.
Bastage Inc. public channel: 'BSTD Public'. Free isk for good jokes.
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MrMann
Bastage Incorporated
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Posted - 2007.03.12 18:19:00 -
[2]
Well this is a relief! I can feel <sniff> good about myself again. <sniff>
/me holds tissue to mouth.
I'm sorry I'm all verklimpt here. <sniff>
Putting the low back into low sec. |
Shiva Shane
Gallente
Darkness Inc.
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Posted - 2007.03.12 18:41:00 -
[3]
Thank you Halod, I am sure that pir...er, I mean, carebears everywhere are breating a sigh of relief now.
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Jex Jast
Go for the booty
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Posted - 2007.03.12 19:28:00 -
[4]
Damnit you guys are fantastic.
-----
Don't add a pool to sell a house. Fix the windows.
Fixed it. Happy? 
Quite  . -HornFrog |
KaptnSparrow
Caldari
TARDZ
Gods of Night and Day
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Posted - 2007.03.12 20:12:00 -
[5]
indeed i love to read there threads and once I'm grown up i gonna visit them and talk to them in person.
I also considering moving into there region to supply them with merlins :)
...eve's worst pirate...
...if I missed killmails of the past, please update the killboard! |
T'Renn
Crimson Squall
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Posted - 2007.03.12 20:23:00 -
[6]
Hilarious. If I had 1 ISK for everytime someone told me "real pvpers do it in 0.0" I'd have at least enough to buy and fit a punisher... insure it too for that matter.
--
Wanna be a low-sec scumbag? |
Phoenus
Caldari
Body Count Inc.
Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.03.12 20:47:00 -
[7]
Have to watch these Bastage Incorporated guys, they are tricksy.
<golem voice> Tried to tricksy poor me so they could pew pew my Vindicator.
Phoenus saw through those tricks, yes, he did, my precioussssssssss </golem>
[ 2006.08.16 20:49:06 ] (combat) Your Electron Blaster Cannon II barely scratches Dominix [NTEMS]<HELLH>(Dominix), causing |
Akita T
Caldari
Caldari Navy Volunteer Task Force
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Posted - 2007.03.12 20:52:00 -
[8]
You should call yourself "capital liberators" or "risk vs reward teachers" instead 
_
MySkills | Module/Rig stacknerfing explained |
Ariel Dawn
SniggWaffe
Pandemic Legion
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Posted - 2007.03.12 20:58:00 -
[9]
Simply awesome, one of the best posts on these boards in a long time.
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Surfin's PlunderBunny
Minmatar
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Posted - 2007.03.12 21:00:00 -
[10]
Can I buy pot from you? 
Mods shrank my YARRR button 
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Lief Siddhe
Gallente
University of Caille
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Posted - 2007.03.12 21:09:00 -
[11]
Reading posts from you Bastage Inc guys makes me laugh. I hope of running into you guys one day, so I can talk my way out of the ransom... err... gank... wait...
I wanted to say you give pirates a good name, but I am lost at words now. What the hell are you then?
Gankbears?
I'm off to get another Minmatar Chest Wound, I guess.
---------------------------------------------
Hey monsieur, could I interest you in a Drop?
Here, have one... you will reach a higher state of being. |
Tomas Ysidro
Caldari
Contraband Inc.
Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.03.12 21:43:00 -
[12]
We should go mining sometime
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Alan Maher
Infinitus Odium
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Posted - 2007.03.12 21:57:00 -
[13]
LOL good reading, I get the same crap all the time makes me wanna throw my monitor at the wall... until I scoop the loot and move onto the next hauler.
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Drakesh
Caldari
The Nine Gates
Executive Outcomes
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Posted - 2007.03.12 22:37:00 -
[14]
 Originally by: Tomas Ysidro
We should go mining sometime
authorised.
you bring the shovels, i got the vaseline.
=============================================
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Gamble Dakota
Immortalis Silens
Ethereal Dawn
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Posted - 2007.03.12 23:13:00 -
[15]
Win.
Haven't had this much fun reading about a new Yar corp since the beginnings of F1end.
-------------------------------------------------
Originally by: "Nir"
There is no place for morality in EVE.
I find the correct answer is rarely the truthful one.
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Halod Crane
Bastage Incorporated
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Posted - 2007.03.12 23:58:00 -
[16]
Originally by: Drakesh
Originally by: Tomas Ysidro
We should go mining sometime
authorised.
you bring the shovels, i got the vaseline.
You know, I'm starting to think you mean something else when you say 'mining' ;)
Bastage Inc.
We do it for the hate mail.
Bastage Inc. public channel: 'BSTD Public'. Free isk for good jokes.
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xOm3gAx
Caldari
Stain of Mind
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Posted - 2007.03.13 00:37:00 -
[17]
bleh tahnks to this post my client backed out on us and your free and clear bastage !!!!! u just put me out of a job!
Seriously though U guys ***** me up ;)
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"Mercinaries never die, we just go to hell to regroup." -xOm3gAx '99
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Wanem Dead
Bastage Incorporated
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Posted - 2007.03.13 01:37:00 -
[18]
Edited by: Wanem Dead on 13/03/2007 01:36:40
Originally by: Gamble Dakota
...Haven't had this much fun reading about a new Yar corp since the beginnings of F1end.
The sad part is that we are not a new corp.
And apparently not even a Yar one anymore!
I mean, podding, pillaging and wanton destruction doesn't even cut it anymore. Really sad.
Wanem
P.S. How long does it take to train the ransoming skill?
P.P.S. Where the heck is it?
P.P.P.S. Can I still squish pods? I like the sound they make when they squish 
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Lithalnas
Amarr
Hadean Drive Yards
Archaean Cooperative
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Posted - 2007.03.13 02:47:00 -
[19]
You guys are like Robinhood, care bears at heart and steal from the rich and give to the poor.
Mr.Mann = Frier Tucker
Halod = Robinhood
Phoenus = Sheriff of Nottingham
Don the tights and start singing.
-------------
Hadean Drive Yards
The EvE inflation, 80 Macro miners, 1.5b isk/day |
Cyrax Blackwell
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Posted - 2007.03.13 03:58:00 -
[20]
Your posts are the win.,
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Silvarius
Caldari
State War Academy
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Posted - 2007.03.13 05:13:00 -
[21]
These are some of the best stories i have read on a forums.
How does one go about joining you pir... err i mean Carebears. I'd like to join up with you guys i'm new to the game.
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Drakesh
Caldari
The Nine Gates
Executive Outcomes
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Posted - 2007.03.13 07:39:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Lithalnas
...
Don the tights and start singing.
And then we can go mining?
YAAAY!
=============================================
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Sidrat Flush
Caldari
Galaxy Punks
Freelancer Alliance
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Posted - 2007.03.13 11:06:00 -
[23]
I'm not much of a pvp'r but I'm learning and becoming (albeit slowly) desentatized (sp?) to the lose of a ship (a ship, not the ship any more, spares ftw!).
Why do people take the lose of their ship so so hard? It's realistic after to be hurting from losing a ship that has stood you through many a rat attack, or tanked you while mining the pyro out of the belts. Then just when you're getting the hang of the .5 rats in your local space you look for a ripe .4 system and find out what ore it can provide. Thus the first taste of gankage.
Growing up in Eve is a painfull affair, and often takes a shaboku (made up word, meaning a swift spiritual kick to the head) in the form of someone reminding you that Eve is a game. It has it's rules, you can do whatever you want and so can everyone else within those rules. Learn the rules, know your limitations, both personal and ingame limitations. Enjoy.
I can't wait to get my combat skills up, because then I'll be a miner pvp'r, with the ability to really build stuff that I can then loose, instead of being one of the broke FC's that alliances have - usually.
Life is about memories the more the better.
Looking for CCP to improve availability of their GTC's, for non card carriers! |
Prophet Jurah
Amarr
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Posted - 2007.03.14 11:29:00 -
[24]
Originally by: Akita T
You should call yourself "capital liberators" or "risk vs reward teachers" instead
I prefer "aggressive wealth redistribution specialist" personaly...
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Ishquar Teh'Sainte
Faaip De Oiad
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Posted - 2007.03.14 11:39:00 -
[25]
what about "used-modules trader"?
<3 bastage inc. threads
___________________
-Skellibjalla- Life is a garden of perceptions. Pick your fruit.
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Halod Crane
Bastage Incorporated
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Posted - 2007.03.14 17:57:00 -
[26]
Our alt corp (does the selling) actually has something like 'Buy our slightly used goods!'
I'm currently trying to convince our corp to go RP so we can have titles like 'Gurista repo man' and ransom with 'Our records show you have not made your monthly payment for the items in your cargo hold, that will be 37billion isk.'
Bastage Inc.
We do it for the hate mail.
Bastage Inc. public channel: 'BSTD Public'. Free isk for good jokes.
|
Crna Udovica
Amarr
Bastage Incorporated
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Posted - 2007.03.14 17:59:00 -
[27]
Originally by: Prophet Jurah
Originally by: Akita T
You should call yourself "capital liberators" or "risk vs reward teachers" instead
I prefer "aggressive wealth redistribution specialist" personaly...
I like MrMann corp title Morally Challenged Freelance Business Man. 
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Jas Dor
Minmatar
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Posted - 2007.03.14 18:34:00 -
[28]
Originally by: Prophet Jurah
Originally by: Akita T
You should call yourself "capital liberators" or "risk vs reward teachers" instead
I prefer "aggressive wealth redistribution specialist" personaly...
LMAO. I wonder if the bar would let me use that in an ad.
Names, Dates, Times, Engagements, Losses, Op-Tempo or STFU! |
D'Nar
Caldari
The Dead Parrot Shoppe Inc.
Brutally Clever Empire
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Posted - 2007.03.14 21:00:00 -
[29]
Originally by: Halod Crane
<insert press release bla bla here>
You, sir or madam, are brilliant. I almost reverse-snorted beer reading your press release
/*
None of this is anyone's opinion. Not even my own.
*/ |
Arekhon
Mutually Assured Distraction
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Posted - 2007.03.15 06:25:00 -
[30]
love your posts guys...great reads..cheers
my thoughts and ideas represent your corp
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