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Amaroq Dricaldari
Vengeance Industrial Militia
0
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Posted - 2011.12.21 20:28:00 -
[1] - Quote
Before you ask, yes... I'm back.
Now let's get to business,
Ever since I stopped playing, I thought a lot about my project, and how it needed some serious editing. To make a long story short, I am redoing my story. If you have any questions or requests, contact me. Otherwise, post in the thread to give suggestions. And no, this is not a w*****lf story.
The story (prologue) so far...
In a desperate effort to find a cure for the great illness (Jovian Disease), a Jovian scientist was experimenting with animal genomes, as they seemed resistant to the disease. After geneticaly modifying human volunteers, he realized that they were incompatible and were dying as a result. So he realized he needed to restart from the ground up. He decided to create a new lifeform, so he took the Slaver genome (it was the most resistant) and combined it with human DNA. He managed to create one successful test batch before his lab was discovered and attacked by Sanshas (and it was in wormhole space, which makes it even worse). He could only save one of them, so he placed it in an escape pod and programmed a course to the nearest wormhole leading to High-Security space (it led to a Caldari station). Once he launched the escape escape pod, he was found by the Sanshas pirates and killed, and then they took his work (potential for super-soldiers) and destroyed his lab.
Here is some information on the main character (if it is left blank, I have not yet decided):
Name:
Age: Late Twenties (after prologue)
Gender: Female
Race: Biologically Jovian, but raised by Caldari foster parents
Species: Hybrid* (a true hybrid, not a creature with two forms)
Personality: Very calm and quite nice towards people, but extremely agressive (almost ruthless) in battle. Also, their IQ is off the charts.
Capsuleer: Yes, but not until halfway through the beginning
*A biological hybrid, not a hybrid weapon.
I need feedback. I am also recruiting editors. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Vengeance Industrial Militia
3
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Posted - 2012.01.03 23:19:00 -
[2] - Quote
Is nobody interested? I remember plenty of people being interested in this on the old forums.
Well, I am a pretty good story writer. I just get writer's block most of the time. |
Publius Valerius
East Khanid Trading
Khanid Trade Syndicate
43
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Posted - 2012.01.04 14:39:00 -
[3] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Is nobody interested? I remember plenty of people being interested in this on the old forums.
Well, I am a pretty good story writer. I just get writer's block most of the time.
Many are still in zeir holidays.^^ And of course their is now lore.... and everybody has to read first all the new stuff...
About your story.... you can place the lab in Jove space.... the sansha are already in there:
http://www.eveonline.com/news/newsFromEve.asp?newsID=3967
http://www.eveonline.com/news.asp?a=single&nid=3967&tid=4
http://www.eve-search.com/thread/1359618-0/page/all
http://massively.joystiq.com/2010/06/29/eves-sansha-live-event-takes-an-interesting-turn/
Their was another pic.. from a player.... where we could see... that the sansha use caldari capitals and amarr titans.. etc.... it was of course before the Revenant.
P.S. When it is in the end a new lifeform (Slaver+Human).... why than using a Slaver?... I mean you could go totally fictional about this, and have so no reason to explain later why the Jove scientist (which isolating them self normally) take some animal out of the Jove Empire domain etc....
-PV... Fly save... if you have come up, whit some new stuff post of course  |
Seljuk Mahinda
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
0
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Posted - 2012.01.05 00:44:00 -
[4] - Quote
So uh... what exactly is it that you want people to do? Edit as in check your grammar and spelling? |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Vengeance Industrial Militia
3
|
Posted - 2012.01.07 17:35:00 -
[5] - Quote
Seljuk Mahinda wrote:So uh... what exactly is it that you want people to do? Edit as in check your grammar and spelling?
I didn't specifically have that i mind, but I sometimes make typos.
I really mean revising things, making them sound better, helping me brainstorm, etc. I am very prone to writer's block.
The Slaver was the most resistant to the disease, but the result was essentially an anthropomorphic slaver hound (with a shitload of Jovian DNA, of course). Besides, his lab was near the borders of Caldari Space, and in the nearest High-Security Caldari System, Slavers were a popular import.
I hope I didn't make a spelling error, it really gets on my nerves. And this keyboard isn't making it any better. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Vengeance Industrial Militia
3
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Posted - 2012.01.07 17:37:00 -
[6] - Quote
Accidentally double-posted. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
4
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Posted - 2012.01.12 23:33:00 -
[7] - Quote
Alright, now that this thread is no longer missing, I would like to do a short celebration. Any suggestions?
My thread in the EVE Fiction forums has dissapeared. Somebody please help! |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
4
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Posted - 2012.01.15 04:10:00 -
[8] - Quote
Just to keep things in check, I have a few more ideas:
The main character isn't the only hybrid in existence (pirate factions have been stealing that scientist's work, starting with the Sansha Armada).
My thread in the EVE Fiction forums has dissapeared. Somebody please help! |
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Science and Trade Institute
Caldari State
0
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Posted - 2012.01.18 04:31:00 -
[9] - Quote
Can I help? Maybe you can put me in the story somewhere.
Also, thanks for that loan! |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
5
|
Posted - 2012.01.18 23:30:00 -
[10] - Quote
Thanks for the feedback.
As for the loan, no problem. Safe flying, buddy.
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation.
9
|
Posted - 2012.01.22 23:18:00 -
[11] - Quote
Hey, someone just sent me a message saying they wanted to help. Look's like I'm gaining [some] popularity afterall.
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
apAzed
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
1
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Posted - 2012.01.27 00:30:00 -
[12] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Hey, someone just sent me a message saying they wanted to help. Look's like I'm gaining [some] popularity afterall.
Yes, I like helping people. :) |
Matanui1488
The Scope
Gallente Federation
0
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Posted - 2012.01.27 05:01:00 -
[13] - Quote
Sure sound's like fun I'm always up for it. I have the urges to write eve fiction at the strangest times anyway. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation.
Pandorum Invictus
13
|
Posted - 2012.01.27 05:04:00 -
[14] - Quote
I won't be able to get on later (I have to go to the Doctor's Office to get an MRI Scan), so wish me luck. I might be on WAY later, though, assuming I didn't somehow get alot of metal in my body.
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation.
Pandorum Invictus
17
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Posted - 2012.01.30 07:09:00 -
[15] - Quote
Speaking of MRI Scans, I, wonder if I could write something related into my story somewhere.
Any suggestions?
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Kiroma Halandri
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
0
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Posted - 2012.02.01 00:53:00 -
[16] - Quote
May I be in the story? |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Total Annihilation.
Pandorum Invictus
42
|
Posted - 2012.02.03 01:54:00 -
[17] - Quote
Sure thing. Sorry for the late reply.
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Skippermonkey
Tactical Knightmare
417
|
Posted - 2012.02.05 05:00:00 -
[18] - Quote
I heard you were having problems with writers block, so i helped you by rewriting your entire plot.
I hope this helps...
The galaxy is in a state of civil war. Spies for the Caldari have stolen plans to the Sansha Empire's Death Cube, a weaponized space station capable of annihilating an entire planet. Rebel leader Princess Peach is in possession of the plans, but her ship is captured by Sansha forces under the command of the evil lord Milhouse Van Houten. Before she is captured, Princess Peach hides the plans in the memory of a droid called Johnny 5, along with a holographic recording. The small droid escapes to the surface of the desert planet Mexico with fellow droid WALL-E.
The droids are quickly captured by station traders, who sell the pair to asteroid belt farmers James T Kirk and Katheryne Janeway and their nephew, Jean Luc Picard. While Picard is cleaning Johnny 5, he accidentally triggers part of Princess Peach's holographic message, in which she requests help from Kim Jong-il. The only "Kim" Picard knows of is an old hermit named Mr Kim who lives in the nearby hills. The next morning, upon finding Johnny 5 after he escapes to seek Kim Jong-il, Picard meets Mr Kim, revealing himself to be Kim Jong-il. Kim Jong-il tells Picard of his days as an incursion runner, one of a faction of former galactic peacekeepers who were wiped out by the Sansha. Contrary to his uncle's claims, Picard learns that his father Benjamin Sisko fought alongside Obi-Wan as a carebear before he was betrayed and killed by Milhouse Van Houten, Kim Jong-il's former pupil who turned "negative ten".
Kim Jong-il views Princess Peach's complete message in which she begs Kim Jong-il to take the Death Cube plans to her home planet of Canada for her father to retrieve and analyze. He then asks Picard to accompany him and learn the ways of the Incursion. Picard initially refuses, but changes his mind after discovering that Sansha stormtroopers have destroyed his home and killed his aunt and uncle in search of Johnny 5 and WALL-E. Kim Jong-il and Picard hire smuggler CCP Tuxford and his Wookiee co-pilot Chribba to transport them on their ship, the Veldnought.
Upon the Veldnought's arrival at Canada, they find that it has been destroyed under the orders of the Death Cube's commanding officer Jackie Chan to demonstrate the Death Cube's power. The Veldnought is caught by the nearby Death Cube's tractor beam and brought into its hangar bay. While Kim Jong-il goes off to disable the tractor beam, Picard discovers that Princess Peach is imprisoned on board and, with the help of CCP Tuxford and Chribba, rescues her. After several harrowing escapes, they make their way back to the Veldnought, though Kim Jong-il is killed in a Mind Clash duel with Milhouse Van Houten. The Veldnought escapes the Death Cube but, unknown to everyone on board, the Sansha has placed a tracking device on the ship to follow them to the rebels' hidden base on Jita IV.
The rebels analyze the Death Cube plans, disclosing a vulnerable exhaust port leading to the station's main reactor. Picard joins the assault team, but CCP Tuxford collects his reward for the rescue and leaves despite Picard's request for him to stay. The Caldari rebels suffer heavy losses after several failed attack runs, leaving Picard one of the few surviving pilots. Milhouse Van Houten appears in a group of Electronic Attack Ships and attacks Picard, but CCP Tuxford returns in the Veldnought and fires at Milhouse Van Houten's wingmen, sending Milhouse's ship careening into space. Guided by Kim Jong-il's voice telling him to use the target painter, Picard successfully fires into the exhaust port, destroying the Death Cube seconds before it can fire on the Caldari rebel base. Picard and CCP Tuxford are subsequently awarded medals by Princess Peach for their heroism.
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Amaroq Dricaldari
63
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Posted - 2012.02.05 06:27:00 -
[19] - Quote
Sorry, but there will be no Starwars, Mario, or Star Trek ripoffs, EVER.
I want this to be original. Completely original.
I appreciaate that you are trying to help, but either you are trying to troll me, or you are trying to play some stupid joke, or you just don't know what I mean by 'writer's block'.
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Shriven89
Tactical Knightmare
21
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Posted - 2012.02.05 11:10:00 -
[20] - Quote
@ Skippers post
SO MUCH WIN |
Skippermonkey
Tactical Knightmare
426
|
Posted - 2012.02.06 14:18:00 -
[21] - Quote
This is a shame
It could have been great
I decided to take my ideas and publish my own book
Theres even talk of them turning it into a screenplay
|
Amaroq Dricaldari
67
|
Posted - 2012.02.06 19:24:00 -
[22] - Quote
Then you may do so.
Sorry for being such a douche.
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
70
|
Posted - 2012.02.09 09:01:00 -
[23] - Quote
I have been getting EVEMails from people asking about my story. Let me fill in important details:
This is not a werewolf story. The best way to describe the main character is that she is a humanoid slaver hound with a passive aggressive attitude (Jovians are ultra intelligent, very calm, and very depressing, while Slaver hounds are among the most aggressive creatures in New Eden, perfect for countering the Jovian disease). The Sansha pirates saw potential for super soldiers (more on that later), which is why they stole the research.
And remember, I want an original story.
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
77
|
Posted - 2012.02.11 20:41:00 -
[24] - Quote
Alright, after talking with some fellow writers, I decided to come up with some kind of plot tolink their fan-fiction to mine in an awesome way. I was thinking that maybe the main character (and some other people that they meet) intercept a distress signal and get caught in a subspace vortex, and thus end up in the Milky Way galaxy. That would be pretty cool.
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Kiroma Halandri
12
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Posted - 2012.02.19 07:53:00 -
[25] - Quote
Winmatar uses bump! Its Super Effective!
Winmatar always wins |
Kiroma Halandri
Malicious Mission Murderers
13
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Posted - 2012.03.08 07:12:00 -
[26] - Quote
Good news, Amaroq. There was an old company called. White Wolf, and they just happened to merge with CCP in 2006. They published some RPGs and trading card games that you might be interested in. They also published the first episode of Star Trek.
I'm not Anti-Social,I just don't like you. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
105
|
Posted - 2012.03.18 11:25:00 -
[27] - Quote
Bump.
Off Topic:
So I heard, Kiroma.
I can't wait to see a World of Darkness MMO, and I would love to brutally murder those Black Spiral Dancers (those guys are freaky).
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
killroy Atram
EVE Protection Agency
Intrepid Crossing
6
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Posted - 2012.03.19 04:13:00 -
[28] - Quote
hey amaroq i can be an editor or be in the story is that ok? |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
105
|
Posted - 2012.03.19 10:37:00 -
[29] - Quote
Thanks for being interested. I'm glad you can help.
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
killroy Atram
EVE Protection Agency
Intrepid Crossing
6
|
Posted - 2012.03.19 22:50:00 -
[30] - Quote
ok if u need anything just mail me fyi i will most likely not have an immediate response but it will come |
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