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von Rupert
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Posted - 2007.05.14 20:32:00 -
[1]
Edited by: von Rupert on 14/05/2007 20:34:11
Evening ladies and gentlemen,
I'm here to tell you my story. This is a story about a scheming evil girl and how girls can affect other relationships at their own will. Sit and listen, for this will be like a story out of a book - and I hope to get some advice from you guys.
My formerly best friend's girlfriend has a sister that was quite nice and sometimes fun. She wanted to meet me multiple times and I agreed but I didn't like her to the extent of wanting anything from her apart from friendship. I told her indirectly many times - I was in a relationship and "we can just be friends" - I believed she would understand.
Her sister (my former best friend's gf) always talked about what a nice shape she would have and that she liked me very much. My best friend, despiting my girl friend, always told me "hey why dont you dump your GF and get her. If I was not together with her sister I'd be on her in no time". I disagreed as I loved my girlfriend and told him to shove his ideas where the sun don't shine.
Believing it was all good and she had understood that I just wanna be friends and not more I'd let her sleep in my flat as she asked for it 'cos she was at work late and would have quite a way home without any busses driving past 11 pm. Unfortunately I agreed, was already asleep when she rang the bell. I slept, she slept, went home next morning. Nothing happened and I thought to myself, it seems she realized it - or maybe her sister was wrong that she had a crush for me.
Later the day I was invited to her house - she was like hey lets see the anime movie together. Now as I'm somewhat of an anime fan I agreed. At her room that's where the **** started hitting the fan. She made a move on me (kiss) and I respectfully disagreed and said I'd have to go and that I was sorry I just wanted to be friends. I went home at 1am.
Meanwhile my girlfriend got into my flat (don't ask me how) and was eagerly awaiting me, hard broken because she had tried to call me so many times. When I switched on my mobile I saw about 60 unanswered calls.. was thinking to myself oh jesus as I opened the door. 10 seconds later my GF was in front of me, crying and ranting at me.
I told her everything was fine and that I was out thinking about life et all (how stupid!). Knowing that she had been cheated on by an ex I tried to stay calm and lied myself out of it for the next week.
Meanwhile the turned down girl would retaliate her obviously broken pride by telling her sister that I wanted to use her. To add insult I'd rant about her at the phone to my best friend in the week.
Then somehow my gf got in the line with my best friend's girlfriend. She told her numerous things like I'd used her sister, had a crush on her and that her sister didn't know anything about me still being together with my girlfriend. Then my girlfriend got in line with the scheming biatch herself who played all innocent.
My GF bought it. Later she talked to my best friend - who obviously under pressure of his girlfriend told her I might have liked the b. and made the moves. From that day on he was my former best friend. My GF bought it. She called my old man - who living apart doesn't know anything bout me. Told her "why not, we're all men". She bought it.
I denied even meeting the girl for a week - but then broke in to the pressure and told my gf what happened. She didn't buy it. She suspected more and felt cheated on, also because I'd lie.
We're about to break up. She's hurt but doesn't want to believe me. I cannot keep up with her rethorical skills, to be honest. Full stress level for 2 months. Ended in a fight where I slapped her bacl - I'm really sorry. Now I got another thing running against me.
I really love her and she loves me too as she told me and proved so many times. I'm about to literally kill that other *****. It's all ****** up. I did not cheat on her. My goal is to keep the relationship.
Any constructive advice from my fellow men & gals? 
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madonna2k7
Amarr
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Posted - 2007.05.14 20:54:00 -
[2]
Edited by: madonna2k7 on 14/05/2007 21:00:58
this seriously sucks. no jedi mind tricks? if she's in love she will believe you.
______________________________
Bravery without using the head
will certainly result in damage
to either you or your friends. |
Donna Darko
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Posted - 2007.05.14 20:56:00 -
[3]
Edited by: Donna Darko on 14/05/2007 20:55:34
Dude... Now you, I suspect you won't get yourself in this situation again, but you should never be friends with a girl who fancies you, much less let her sleep over. You either go with her or end it right there and then when you find out the "crush" (or whatever) is real.
I've had the misfortune of meeting way too many disturbed people with imaginary situations they were in and learned (not as hard as you did) that lesson. Girls are ****in' evil when it comes to getting revenge on a rejection, because they're so insecure. Guys are usually more "oh, whatever" and usually the worse that comes out of this is a fight :)
I got no advice for keeping the current girlfriend, I usually don't (with one regretful exception), but I think it's all about showing her you can be trusted and that somehow you're telling her the truth. But for the love of yourself, run away from weirdos unless you're into self-inflicted pain.
Stories. |
Derovius Vaden
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Posted - 2007.05.14 21:15:00 -
[4]
Tell her straight up what happened, and be sincere about it. The sister slept over because she had no way home, and left without incident. Thinking that all was well, you went to watch a movie with her, and she made the pass at you. In an act of vengeful childishness, she spread slander about your association (something any girl would understand).
Be frank with her, don't get mad, look her in the eye and say plainly, "No matter what I tell you, you need to decide fact from fiction. If you believe, deep down, that I was unfaithful, than there is nothing I can do to change your mind beyond what I've done to explain the situation to you. Nothing lecturous transpired."
And leave it at that. If she trusts you, and is simply reacting to being cheated on before, she will come to the proper conclusion. If not, and you two get back together, you will be forever haunted by this incident. The slightest transgression will cause he to bring this back to attack you with.
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Fat Freddy
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Posted - 2007.05.14 21:21:00 -
[5]
My advice, stop beating yourself up. Sounds like there is no way to salvage that relationship, any attempt to do so will probably just cause more heartache, for both of you.
One item that worries me...
 Originally by: von Rupert
When I switched on my mobile I saw about 60 unanswered calls.. was thinking to myself oh jesus as I opened the door. 10 seconds later my GF was in front of me, crying and ranting at me.
The reason being, (in my opinion) the type of people that try to call a number 60(ish) times in the course of an evening without good reason, are fundementally flawed in the sense they may be very insecure. I could also be very wrong.
Keep looking forward not back at what could have been, it's a dire position to be in, the "If only" trap. Been there my friend. I hope your true friends are around to offer distractions and support.
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Gariuys
Evil Strangers Inc.
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Posted - 2007.05.14 21:55:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Derovius Vaden
Tell her straight up what happened, and be sincere about it. The sister slept over because she had no way home, and left without incident. Thinking that all was well, you went to watch a movie with her, and she made the pass at you. In an act of vengeful childishness, she spread slander about your association (something any girl would understand).
Be frank with her, don't get mad, look her in the eye and say plainly, "No matter what I tell you, you need to decide fact from fiction. If you believe, deep down, that I was unfaithful, than there is nothing I can do to change your mind beyond what I've done to explain the situation to you. Nothing lecturous transpired."
And leave it at that. If she trusts you, and is simply reacting to being cheated on before, she will come to the proper conclusion. If not, and you two get back together, you will be forever haunted by this incident. The slightest transgression will cause he to bring this back to attack you with.
Solid advice if you ask me. And you probably shouldn't... And smack your da.
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Gariuys
Evil Strangers Inc.
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Posted - 2007.05.14 21:58:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Fat Freddy
My advice, stop beating yourself up. Sounds like there is no way to salvage that relationship, any attempt to do so will probably just cause more heartache, for both of you.
One item that worries me...
Originally by: von Rupert
When I switched on my mobile I saw about 60 unanswered calls.. was thinking to myself oh jesus as I opened the door. 10 seconds later my GF was in front of me, crying and ranting at me.
The reason being, (in my opinion) the type of people that try to call a number 60(ish) times in the course of an evening without good reason, are fundementally flawed in the sense they may be very insecure. I could also be very wrong.
Keep looking forward not back at what could have been, it's a dire position to be in, the "If only" trap. Been there my friend. I hope your true friends are around to offer distractions and support.
Think that complicates matters, jealousy from previous experience, possesive. Hard too convince her to the truth, cause even though it's a lie, it will be a lot easier to believe.
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Araxmas
The Blue Dagger Mercenery Agency
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Posted - 2007.05.14 22:01:00 -
[8]
Punch your formally known 'best mate'.
Won't solve anything but will probably feel good.
--------
Robbie Rotten left me |
Gariuys
Evil Strangers Inc.
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Posted - 2007.05.14 22:05:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Araxmas
Punch your formally known 'best mate'.
Won't solve anything but will probably feel good.
Yeah true, weird that he went along with it. Women can be total *****es in situations like that, but really dissapointing to see the guy let himself be used like that, and best friend as well. That blows.
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von Rupert
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Posted - 2007.05.15 14:35:00 -
[10]
I punched him in another way that almost ended his relationship to his gf. Now I simply don't care for him anymore. That's better and more cruel than any form of hatred.
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Phrixus Zephyr
D00M.
Triumvirate.
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Posted - 2007.05.15 14:49:00 -
[11]
Edited by: Phrixus Zephyr on 15/05/2007 14:48:01
Unless you can convince your GF you're telling the truth, you're going to have to go to the ex-bestmates gf and sis and confront them about it. Most people either arn't that evil or arn't very good liars. If you can't pull on their heart strings, trip them up with inaccuracies.
Even if you salvage nothing from this, learn one thing.
Don't lie about **** that really doesn't need lieing about. Especially if there are witnesses.
Originally by: Benglada
And whos going to tackle for them? Jesus?
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Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Space Perverts and Forum Warriors United
Cult of War
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Posted - 2007.05.15 16:35:00 -
[12]
NExt time around:
Ask her if it's ok for a girl to spend a night at your place.
Keep your phone open, or check before it can hit 60 missed calls.. when you're spending time with the same girl.
If you get kissed, call your GF and tell about it.
If you odn't want to f*ck up, then be honest and think about the other person.
You messed up the moment you lied.
Now you can tell her what happened, tell that you were a donkey and dumb as what to lie about it(no excuses) and ask if SHE thought things could be fixed. One thing is for sure, you'll pay for this for years to come if you manage to keep together.
Or...move on and get another one.
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Hypatia Iola
Caldari
Central Defiance
Terror In The System
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Posted - 2007.05.15 17:03:00 -
[13]
heh, now this may seem kinda stupid, but let her see that post... typically people write things more clearly than they say them... it may help her to understand what's up.
and for the love of crap why the hell did you lie about meeting the girl, now here's the simple truth:
whether or not you were consciously aware of it, letting the girl who had a crush on you chill out at your place OVERNIGHT is a pretty stupid thing to do. ever. whether you're single or not, it puts you in an awkward position if oyu're not feeling the whole thing.
anyway, look at your own behavior and ask yourself "was all this crap really innocent" or did you suspect things might happen. if you can honestly answer NO to that, then go back and try to fix things, otherwise just let your GF go, she deserves to be allowed to move on if she needs it.
I represent only my own views, they just happen to be the right ones. |
VinceNoir
Amarr
Pyrrhus Sicarii
Aftermath Alliance
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Posted - 2007.05.15 17:23:00 -
[14]
Become an hero?
Originally by: Asylum Seaker
17.8 Mil damage done, 15 mil lost? More **** than that goes down every time I jump through a gate. Go fight a real war. |
brocksamson316
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Posted - 2007.05.15 19:04:00 -
[15]
60 missed calls sounds a bit crazy and mental in my opinion, i think your better off without the lot of them to be honest, move on and find a new woman and a new best mate.
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Ahz
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Posted - 2007.05.15 20:36:00 -
[16]
Originally by: von Rupert
...bought it.
The good news is that the first time this happens it's experience.
The bad news is that the next time this happens it'll be your fault.
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Mtthias Clemi
Gallente
Infinitus Odium
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Posted - 2007.05.15 20:37:00 -
[17]
If Your not using either of those.. can i have one? (jokes heh)
that sucks to be perfectly honest, bad and luck and silly choices 
--------------------------------------------
Stay away from my signature all of ya!!! IM WARNING YOU!!
PEW PEW PEW PEW!
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Last Cause
Green Gecko Inc.
Free Trade Zone.
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Posted - 2007.05.15 20:58:00 -
[18]
Edited by: Last Cause on 15/05/2007 21:04:26
Ohhhh you got a nasty one :)
A few things then, as I've managed to avoid this kind of crap for my entire romantic life.
1. Don't get involved in that crap from the start. Women have a way of doing this kind of stuff sometimes. Don't play these games and don't let yourself get roped into drama BS.
2. If she REALLY loves you, then she won't have a problem believing you.
3. There are SOME things that are innocent but end up looking REALLY bad. Letting her sleep at your place, seeing movies with her etc. is all asking for trouble.
Sometimes you get pinned for stuff you didn't do, and it sucks. However the best you can do is explain what you can and ask that they trust you. (My GF found a wad of TP in our bathroom trash once with red ink smeared on it that looked remarkably like lipstick. She almost dumped me until I found out that my roomie had gotten ink on himself and wiped it off in my bathroom.) Some of it's unavoidable, thats just life. But, avoid all the drama that you can and find someone that trusts you. As for getting OUT of this kind of trouble, don't speak to the manipulative one and do your best to keep your good one. If she leaves you, well, just don't do suspicious stuff like taking someone whos has a CRUSH ON YOU to the MOVIES ALONE. And NO it's NOT cool to let this rejected girl SLEEP IN YOUR APARTMENT. So, avoid that crap and be smart, then it's smooth sailing when you find a great girl like mine. :) How it helps dude, you just gotta learn the hardway sometimes.
Edit: And btw, anyone that calls 60 times in one evening better be in jail or having a baby. Unless you arranged to hang out and just didn't show or something. So, aside from having a REASON to worry,, no one should call that many times. Find a non-crazy woman and hold on tightly. They don't come along often, but look hard enough and you'll find good ones.
-Sig-
Green Gecko Inc. A corp, A family.
Hiring ALL types of players! 0.0 based!
Interested? CLICK! |
Liu Kaskakka
PAK
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Posted - 2007.05.15 22:47:00 -
[19]
Go and have sex with the girl who fancied you in the first place and dump her after the shag.Try to have sex with your ex best friend's gf. Film both and put em on the net. Then stay single.
King Liu is RIGHT!!
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ChironV
Caldari
Deep Core Mining Inc.
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Posted - 2007.05.15 23:20:00 -
[20]
Some tips to live by.
1) If you are in a relationship with a woman. NEVER EVER think for a moment that you can have a female friend other than your GF.
If a woman says, I just want to be friends." Your GF hears, "I'm interested in your man."
2) Women lie like persian rugs to one another if it helps them get what they want.
That girl slept at your place to have evidence that she "hooked up" with you, and spread lies to get what she wanted.
Now your bestfriend is under the pressure of "back me up or no nookie for you". Thats pretty much a deal breaker right there. Forgive him, his little buddy was thinking about what his GF could do to him, so he was in a no win situation.
Your GF is pretty much done. Best to lay everything on the table, from start to finish, and break up with her. She will never really trust you again so the relationship is completly poisoned. Wish her well and walk away.
Now about that other girl. Tell your best friend you broke up with your GF. That will quickly get to her. See if she calls you. If she does, go out with her for a bit. If you get some free nookie more power to you. If not its fine, but be on your best behaviour and treat her really good. After a bit, call her up and tell her you can't see her any more. Tell her you can't really trust her after the lies she spread about you and your ex. 
Of course if she's a vindictive stalker type you might want to move out of the state and change your name. 
Good luck.
________________________________________________
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,
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Barbarellas Daughter
Lonely Barbarella
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Posted - 2007.05.15 23:30:00 -
[21]
Originally by: ChironV
Some tips to live by.
1) If you are in a relationship with a woman. NEVER EVER think for a moment that you can have a female friend other than your GF.
If a woman says, I just want to be friends." Your GF hears, "I'm interested in your man."
2) Women lie like persian rugs to one another if it helps them get what they want.
That girl slept at your place to have evidence that she "hooked up" with you, and spread lies to get what she wanted.
Now your bestfriend is under the pressure of "back me up or no nookie for you". Thats pretty much a deal breaker right there. Forgive him, his little buddy was thinking about what his GF could do to him, so he was in a no win situation.
Your GF is pretty much done. Best to lay everything on the table, from start to finish, and break up with her. She will never really trust you again so the relationship is completly poisoned. Wish her well and walk away.
Now about that other girl. Tell your best friend you broke up with your GF. That will quickly get to her. See if she calls you. If she does, go out with her for a bit. If you get some free nookie more power to you. If not its fine, but be on your best behaviour and treat her really good. After a bit, call her up and tell her you can't see her any more. Tell her you can't really trust her after the lies she spread about you and your ex.
Of course if she's a vindictive stalker type you might want to move out of the state and change your name.
Good luck.
QFT. couldnt have said it better.
FFS, get you ass out of compromising situations!!! (next time ;) )
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Nachshon
Caldari
Gradient
Electus Matari
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Posted - 2007.05.16 01:04:00 -
[22]
Just keep talking with your girlfriend. Apologize for everything. As for your former friend and his gf's sister, shut them out of your life completely. If any of them call you again, disguise your voice and pretend to be someone else.
____________________________________
Caldari by birth, Minmatar by citizenship.
The True Meaning of Freedom |
Crimsonjade
Zer0 ToLeRaNcE
Terror In The System
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Posted - 2007.05.16 02:09:00 -
[23]
a: you dont owe anyone an apology so you dont need to give one
b: never trust a women ever
c: have fun if you pretend like this is your fault as as long as the current gf has you. she will use it to beat you over the head constently
d: cat houses ftw!
get a motorcycle and some tattoos and date biker chicks.. they are all about the meaningless overnight relationship
e: you could suck up to her like i did my ex wife after i went to lunch with a co-worker for a business lunch. now post 9 years later im 200grand poorer but the hag is out of my life and screwing my old best friend.
life sucks.. play hard and leave this world with NO regrets
ps its also short. and cheap floozies are people too
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Victor Valka
Caldari
Archon Industries
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Posted - 2007.05.16 12:21:00 -
[24]
Edited by: Victor Valka on 16/05/2007 12:20:26
Originally by: Crimsonjade
a: you dont owe anyone an apology so you dont need to give one
b: never trust a women ever
c: have fun if you pretend like this is your fault as as long as the current gf has you. she will use it to beat you over the head constently
d: cat houses ftw!
get a motorcycle and some tattoos and date biker chicks.. they are all about the meaningless overnight relationship
e: you could suck up to her like i did my ex wife after i went to lunch with a co-worker for a business lunch. now post 9 years later im 200grand poorer but the hag is out of my life and screwing my old best friend.
life sucks.. play hard and leave this world with NO regrets
ps its also short. and cheap floozies are people too
Will you be my friend? 
Seriously, do as this guy says - walk away. You don't need to deal with this drama, and it is not your fault. Refuse to deal with shit of others.
Unless you are just that desperate for sex. In that case, you are pathetic and deserve every bit of **** you get.
Life is tough -- suggest you wear a hat.
Originally by: Diana Marc
Notice that BoB is agreeing with RA's concern. That's like Elrond and Sauron agreeing to reduce carbon emissions.
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Sheriff Jones
Amarr
Space Perverts and Forum Warriors United
Cult of War
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Posted - 2007.05.16 12:24:00 -
[25]
Heh, as always, forums give the logical and REALLY helpful tips:
Get out or fix things
Should be hardcoded into each person really.
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Daram Thakk'ar
Minmatar
343rd Mining Division
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Posted - 2007.05.16 13:15:00 -
[26]
Somehow I get the feelig we're not getting the full story here. You say your best mate despised your GF. Why? In my experience friends have a much more objective view in that regard than yourself. Love makes blind...
So until the reason for your friend not thinking too highly of your GF, it is also hard to assess the situation without basing the advice on your position alone, which might not be the objective one.
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Kyozoku
Mutiny.
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Posted - 2007.05.16 13:18:00 -
[27]
Edited by: Kyozoku on 16/05/2007 13:16:41
Originally by: Liu Kaskakka
Go and have sex with the girl who fancied you in the first place and dump her after the shag.Try to have sex with your ex best friend's gf. Film both and put em on the net. Then stay single.
Don't just shag and dump the woman though. Video tape yourself sodomizing her, use it to blackmail her until she's an emotional wreck and then put it on the net and send it to her parents anyway.
I am the master at relationships.
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Gunstar Zero
Caldari
Reikoku
Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2007.05.16 13:26:00 -
[28]
Originally by: Liu Kaskakka
Go and have sex with the girl who fancied you in the first place and dump her after the shag.Try to have sex with your ex best friend's gf. Film both and put em on the net. Then stay single.
This would be my advice too.
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Phrixus Zephyr
D00M.
Triumvirate.
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Posted - 2007.05.16 13:26:00 -
[29]
Originally by: Liu Kaskakka
Go and have sex with the girl who fancied you in the first place and dump her after the shag.Try to have sex with your ex best friend's gf. Film both and put em on the net. Then stay single.
While she's on her knees zip up and say "Look how i left you, haha" and walk out. 
Originally by: Benglada
And whos going to tackle for them? Jesus?
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RedFall
Irreligion
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Posted - 2007.05.16 17:16:00 -
[30]
Stick it in her ****ar.
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Victor Valka
Caldari
Archon Industries
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Posted - 2007.05.16 17:22:00 -
[31]
Originally by: RedFall
Stick it in her ****ar.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? "****" is censored?
Originally by: Diana Marc
Notice that BoB is agreeing with RA's concern. That's like Elrond and Sauron agreeing to reduce carbon emissions.
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von Rupert
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Posted - 2007.05.16 17:26:00 -
[32]
It's a filthy, filthy word. Filthy boy.
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Derovius Vaden
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Posted - 2007.05.16 17:38:00 -
[33]
Originally by: Victor Valka
Originally by: RedFall
Stick it in her ****ar.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? "****" is censored?
Welcome to WoW-Online.
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Roshan longshot
Gallente
Ordos Humanitas
FREGE Alliance
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Posted - 2007.05.16 18:15:00 -
[34]
"I denied even meeting the girl for a week - but then broke in to the pressure and told my gf what happened. She didn't buy it. She suspected more and felt cheated on, also because I'd lie."
She is never going to trust you...there will always be somthing hidding in the closet, and worse she just might think 'if he can do it so can I'
You should never denied anything, if you felt you had to, then there was not the 'true love' there and your relationship was doomed from the start.
This is my 27th year with my wife...and we have never been more happy then we are now. I never cheated, strayed, or barked up the wrong tree. And neither has she. I guess we are some of the lucky ones.
Free-form Professions, ensure no limetations on professions. Be a trader, fighter, industialist, researcher, hunter pirate or mixture of them all.
[i]As read from the original box.
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Derovius Vaden
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Posted - 2007.05.16 18:30:00 -
[35]
Originally by: Roshan longshot
"I denied even meeting the girl for a week - but then broke in to the pressure and told my gf what happened. She didn't buy it. She suspected more and felt cheated on, also because I'd lie."
She is never going to trust you...there will always be somthing hidding in the closet, and worse she just might think 'if he can do it so can I'
You should never denied anything, if you felt you had to, then there was not the 'true love' there and your relationship was doomed from the start.
This is my 27th year with my wife...and we have never been more happy then we are now. I never cheated, strayed, or barked up the wrong tree. And neither has she. I guess we are some of the lucky ones.
Yes, but have you ever lied to her to save your own ass? Remember, there is only one answer to this question.
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