Schigolch
Merch Industrial
We Are Nice Guys
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Posted - 2007.05.30 09:22:00 -
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I am proud to announce that Goonswarm has retained the services of Merch Industrial as Corporate Restructuring Consultants.
In response to recent events, publicized here and elsewhere, the Goonswarm Directorate has seen fit to make a good-faith effort to turn Goonswarm around, so that the good of the few innocent Goons will not be infringed upon by the misdeeds of the many.
Merch Industrial assists commercial, governmental and voluntary sector organizations in the areas of corporate restructuring, compliance, government relations, strategic planning and organizational change.
Beginning tomorrow, restructuring of Goonswarm will begin with the disbanding of Goonfleet and several smaller member corporations. Players proven to prioritize teamwork, honor, and a dedication to a positive play environment will be retained in a reformed Goonfleet. All others will be released and given 7 days to evacuate their belongings from Goon space. A ceasefire has been negotiated with Band of Brothers for the duration of this grace period, at the conclusion of which point hostilities will resume.
Clearly, most of the Goonswarm's problems stem from misguided or willfully malicious leadership, so we have initiated change from the top down by recommending that Nate Hammertown, Goonswarm member of good standing, be made CEO.
Our second recommendation is that the Titan Fund be immediately repurposed for fortification and infrastructure improvements in the 0mist region, a pivotal strategic region which must be secured immediately for the Goonswarm to have any hope for survival in 0.0 space.
Our third recommendation is that Goonswarm immediately abandon 0.0 space and relocate immediately to Domain, which boasts a thriving economy, easy access to myriad livestock types, and convenient proximity to Honest Akbar's Pwnmobile Emporium(tm), Purveyor of top-quality internet spaceship hulls.
Our fourth recommendation is that Goonswarm extend an olive branch to the EVE community in the form of greatly increased corporate transparency, heralded by the crossposting of these recommendations on the Goonfleet forums and Eve-Online forums in addition to their delivery to the Goonswarm Directorate.
These four measures are only the first of many that Merch Industrial will be formulating over the coming days, as our think tank convenes and begins an audit of Goonswarm's corporate structure and business practices. In keeping with Goonswarm's new policy of corporate transparency, we will be posting new recommendations as they are formalized.
We at Merch Industrial value this opportunity to help usher in a new Goonswarm, and a new enlightened age of EVE Online.
Thank you.
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