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Cleveland Steam
Neverland Ranch Hands
   |
Posted - 2007.07.04 16:41:00 -
[1]
/queue up Lee Greenwood
PS UK - we whooped your ass in the revolutionary war.
Plz dont nerf my sig again... |
Bei Bao
Caldari
Triumvirate Holding Corporation
Triumvirate.
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 16:52:00 -
[2]
I must be too Dutch cuz i dont understand anything that the op is saying.
|
Awyn Lothr
Andromeda BR
United Corporations of Eve
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 17:00:00 -
[3]
Probably something to do with the 4th of July holiday in the US.
|
Alyth
Gallente
Ma-Ven Industries
Phobos Alliance
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 17:04:00 -
[4]
 Originally by: Cleveland Steam
/queue up Lee Greenwood
PS UK - we paid the french to whoop your ass in the revolutionary war.
Fixed 
|
Cleveland Steam
Neverland Ranch Hands
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 17:12:00 -
[5]
Edited by: Cleveland Steam on 04/07/2007 17:13:06
Edited by: Cleveland Steam on 04/07/2007 17:10:59
Originally by: Alyth
Originally by: Cleveland Steam
/queue up Lee Greenwood
PS UK - we paid the french to whoop your ass in the revolutionary war.
Fixed
Dont even go there.
Besides, the way I remember it, they were just there and didnt have anything else to do. I can relate...I've done some strange things because I was bored.
Plz dont nerf my sig again... |
Cleveland Steam
Neverland Ranch Hands
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 18:06:00 -
[6]
Edited by: Cleveland Steam on 04/07/2007 18:04:43
Pay homage or prepare to be liberated.
Plz dont nerf my sig again... |
Lord Saradomin
Gallente
Asshats and Alcoholics
Soul of Fountain
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 18:13:00 -
[7]
hmmm where are americans originally from...
oh every one from europe claimed places and then eventually they rose up against each other and threw everyone out...
leaving...erm people originally from europe and some indians...
******************************************
In the beginning the Universe was created,
This made a lot of people angry,
and has been widely regarded as a bad idea. |
Patch86
Di-Tron Heavy Industries
Atlas Alliance
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 18:15:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Cleveland Steam
Edited by: Cleveland Steam on 04/07/2007 17:13:06
Edited by: Cleveland Steam on 04/07/2007 17:10:59
Originally by: Alyth
Originally by: Cleveland Steam
/queue up Lee Greenwood
PS UK - we paid the french to whoop your ass in the revolutionary war.
Fixed
Dont even go there.
Besides, the way I remember it, they were just there and didnt have anything else to do. I can relate...I've done some strange things because I was bored.
True though 
--------
|
jam6549
42nd Armored
FreeFall Securities
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 18:19:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Cleveland Steam
Edited by: Cleveland Steam on 04/07/2007 17:13:06
Edited by: Cleveland Steam on 04/07/2007 17:10:59
Originally by: Alyth
Originally by: Cleveland Steam
/queue up Lee Greenwood
PS UK - we paid the french to whoop your ass in the revolutionary war.
Fixed
Dont even go there.
Besides, the way I remember it, they were just there and didnt have anything else to do. I can relate...I've done some strange things because I was bored.
YOU WERE THERE. wow u must of been old
Jam6549
|
Cleveland Steam
Neverland Ranch Hands
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 18:30:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Lord Saradomin
hmmm where are americans originally from...
oh every one from europe claimed places and then eventually they rose up against each other and threw everyone out...
leaving...erm people originally from europe and some indians...
You're cluttering the facts with details. America won.
Freedom isnt free.
Plz dont nerf my sig again... |
Patch Esquire
Sebiestor tribe
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 18:34:00 -
[11]
Originally by: Cleveland Steam
Originally by: Lord Saradomin
hmmm where are americans originally from...
oh every one from europe claimed places and then eventually they rose up against each other and threw everyone out...
leaving...erm people originally from europe and some indians...
You're cluttering the facts with details. America won.
Freedom isnt free.
I feel pretty free, and I never rebelled against any one
So melodramatic
-----------------------------------------------
If you're reading this, Patch86 was too lazy to select his main.
Again. |
Kesh McCall
Caldari
Galactic Science Network
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 18:37:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Alyth
Originally by: Cleveland Steam
/queue up Lee Greenwood
PS UK - we paid the french to whoop your ass in the revolutionary war.
Fixed
QFTW
Originally by: CCP Wrangler
Am I reading this correctly? You claim you have a bug that undresses female avatars |
Personification
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 18:38:00 -
[13]
Notice of the revocation of US Declaration of Independence
To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to
elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby
give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her
Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all
states, commonwealths and other territories - except for Utah, a Mormon state,
which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of
you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders)
will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated
next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are
introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look
up 'aluminium'. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how
wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words
such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than
laziness on your part. Similarly you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without
skipping half the letters. You will end yourlove affair with the letter 'Z'
(pronounced 'zed', not 'zee') and the suffix 'ize' will be replaced by the
suffix 'ise'. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' -
e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you
can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your
vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up 'vocabulary'.
Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as
"like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient
form of communication. Look up 'interspersed'. There will be no more 'bleeps' in
the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then
you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then
you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English" and we will let Microsoft
know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of '-ize'.
3. You will learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really
isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to*****ney, upper-class twit or
Mancunian - 'Daphne' in 'Frasier'. You will also have to learn how to understand
regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast
with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is
no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you
persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires -
Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required at least occasionally to cast English actors as
the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English
characters. British sit-coms such as 'Men Behaving Badly' or 'Red Dwarf' will
not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't
cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, 'God Save The Queen' but
only after fully carrying out task. We would not want you to get confused and
give up half way through.
tbc
|
Personification
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 18:39:00 -
[14]
6. You will stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football.
What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you
who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that
no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it
and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be better if you
played with the girls. It is a difficult game.
Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby which is
similar to American "football" but does not involve stopping for a
rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies. We
are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2007.
You will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the
'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only
2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is
understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game
called rounders which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves,
collector cards or hotdogs.
7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be
allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable
peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially
dangerous items you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable
peeler in public.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national
holiday but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are rubbish and it is all for your
own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All
road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on
the left with immediate effect. At the same time you will go metric with
immediate effect and conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help
you understand the British sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are
not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian, though 97.85% of you
(including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a
country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are
properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The
traditional accompaniment to chips is beer, which should be served warm and
flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea
made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for
tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at
all - it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred
to as beer and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred
to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be
referred to as Near-Frozen Knat's Urine with the exception of the product of the
American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen
Knat's Urine. This will allow true Budweiser - as manufactured for the last 1000
years in Pilsen, Czech Republic - to be sold without risk of confusion.
|
Brutor Shaun
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 18:39:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Cleveland Steam
UK - we whooped your ass in the revolutionary war.
Pity you can't be as effective in Iraq.
Bookmark Idea - My skills
|
Personification
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 18:39:00 -
[16]
13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or gasoline as you will be
permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2008) prices with the former USA.
The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA
will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or
therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that
you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by
adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or
speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
15. *Please* tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to
ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
|
Winterblink
Body Count Inc.
Mercenary Coalition
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 18:40:00 -
[17]
/me whistles the 1812 Overture :P
|
Winterblink
Body Count Inc.
Mercenary Coalition
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 18:41:00 -
[18]
Moved from General Discussions!
Hah, beat the mod!
|
Cleveland Steam
Neverland Ranch Hands
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 18:42:00 -
[19]
Man, if you're going to nerf my thread at least do the same to that lame **** Curzon Dax posted.
Plz dont nerf my sig again... |
Patch86
Di-Tron Heavy Industries
Atlas Alliance
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 18:47:00 -
[20]
Edited by: Patch86 on 04/07/2007 18:48:27
Originally by: Personification
stuff
Read it before, but it still gives me a giggle. My favourite line is:
Quote:
Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
Originally by: Cleveland Steam
Man, if you're going to nerf my thread at least do the same to that lame **** Curzon Dax posted.
Yeah, but his was funny
--------
|
Cleveland Steam
Neverland Ranch Hands
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 19:07:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Patch86
Yeah, but his was funny
Patriotism is serious business.
Plz dont nerf my sig again... |
Curzon Dax
Deep Core Mining Inc.
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 19:15:00 -
[22]
Well, mine is EVE related. Out of Pod is for non-Eve related material.
|
Cleveland Steam
Neverland Ranch Hands
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 19:21:00 -
[23]
Originally by: Curzon Dax
Well, mine is EVE related. Out of Pod is for non-Eve related material.
Yeah, I know. But I'm drunk.
Plz dont nerf my sig again... |
English Teacher
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 19:22:00 -
[24]
My dream is to teach the next generation of Yanks that 4th of July was the day Will Smith beat the aliens, along with that other guy from Jurassic Park. Shouldn't be too hard.
|
Cleveland Steam
Neverland Ranch Hands
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 19:24:00 -
[25]
Originally by: English Teacher
My dream is to teach the next generation of Yanks that 4th of July was the day Will Smith beat the aliens, along with that other guy from Jurassic Park. Shouldn't be too hard.
Now thats something I could get behind.
I support it 100%.
Plz dont nerf my sig again... |
Cleveland Steam
Neverland Ranch Hands
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 19:37:00 -
[26]
Edited by: Cleveland Steam on 04/07/2007 19:36:24
Originally by: Curzon Dax
Well, mine is EVE related. Out of Pod is for non-Eve related material.
Sorry about the thread lock on your General post. But I'd like to point out that the other guy had a political axe to grind, not me.
Plz dont nerf my sig again... |
Derovius Vaden
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 19:52:00 -
[27]
The only reason the Americas weren't beaten senseless by the English Army was because the Americans were outfitted with arms and munitions by the French. (Not to mention that Napoleon sold French holdings in the Americas for a pitence of their true value.).
This is find almost sadly ironic, because for as much as you Americans owe the French your freedom, you still treat them like crap. Almost like a spoiled child does its parent.
|
Larod
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 19:59:00 -
[28]
As Personification pointed out, we do have a gimp as a president...but not all of us voted for the bum.
And as others are pointing out, we did have lots of help from the French in obtaining our national freedom. BUT, the French seem to have a habit of forgetting WWII.
|
Kalahari Wayrest
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 20:01:00 -
[29]
Quote:
Patriotism is serious business.
Only to patriots 
__________________________
Indulge Me
Consider Yourself Indulged - Immy ♥
Wow immy scored  - Xorus |
Cleveland Steam
Neverland Ranch Hands
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 20:03:00 -
[30]
Originally by: Derovius Vaden
The only reason the Americas weren't beaten senseless by the English Army was because the Americans were outfitted with arms and munitions by the French. (Not to mention that Napoleon sold French holdings in the Americas for a pitence of their true value.).
This is find almost sadly ironic, because for as much as you Americans owe the French your freedom, you still treat them like crap. Almost like a spoiled child does its parent.
So would you call the liberation of France in WWII?
Or assisting them in Vietnam shortly before they left completely? (the rest of vietnam was a complete disaster, thats not even debateable)
No, the reason there is so much resentment between the US and France is because both countries think they're better than each other. Both think their **** doesnt stink. We just dont whine about France from a UN pulpit like they do us.
Plz dont nerf my sig again... |
Vari
Carbide Industries
R i s e
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 20:07:00 -
[31]
Why can't we all be frens :(
|
Xeserox
Caldari
Golden Aardvark Society
Te-Ka
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 20:07:00 -
[32]
Proof as to why most places outside of the US don't like the US.
Seriously Cleveland Steam..... I'm from the states, and I jsut read this and shook my head.
Yeah that's all i can really say... Happy 4th to those of you in the US. Those of you not in teh US, i apologise that you were subject to this.
Xeserox
- General Manager Eden Underground Radio
- Writer for Eve Tribune |
Vari
Carbide Industries
R i s e
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 20:08:00 -
[33]
OMG HI Xeserox
|
Patch86
Di-Tron Heavy Industries
Atlas Alliance
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 20:08:00 -
[34]
Originally by: Vari
Why can't we all be frens :(
I think we are
--------
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Cleveland Steam
Neverland Ranch Hands
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 20:11:00 -
[35]
Edited by: Cleveland Steam on 04/07/2007 20:14:24
Originally by: Xeserox
Proof as to why most places outside of the US don't like the US.
Seriously Cleveland Steam..... I'm from the states, and I jsut read this and shook my head.
Yeah that's all i can really say... Happy 4th to those of you in the US. Those of you not in teh US, i apologise that you were subject to this.
And I apologize to anyone that read my original post (see "Flamebait") and thought it was anything beyond a friendly nudge. But see, thats part of the problem. You chose to take that seriously, and thats your fault. So yes, indeed, apologize.
You guys see whatever you want to see anyway. IT WAS A JOKE.
I made a joke thread poking at myself, my country, and the stereotype I'm sure you folks have - you all are the ones that decided to take the opportunity and make it personal. Good job world. And you say we consider ourselves the "Moral Police" when all I hear from you is criticism.
Plz dont nerf my sig again... |
Lance Hawke
Beyond Divinity Inc
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 20:18:00 -
[36]
Originally by: Brutor Shaun
Originally by: Cleveland Steam
UK - we whooped your ass in the revolutionary war.
Pity you can't be as effective in Iraq.
I support this statement.
|
Derovius Vaden
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 20:20:00 -
[37]
Originally by: Cleveland Steam
Originally by: Derovius Vaden
The only reason the Americas weren't beaten senseless by the English Army was because the Americans were outfitted with arms and munitions by the French. (Not to mention that Napoleon sold French holdings in the Americas for a pitence of their true value.).
This is find almost sadly ironic, because for as much as you Americans owe the French your freedom, you still treat them like crap. Almost like a spoiled child does its parent.
So would you call the liberation of France in WWII?
Or assisting them in Vietnam shortly before they left completely? (the rest of vietnam was a complete disaster, thats not even debateable)
No, the reason there is so much resentment between the US and France is because both countries think they're better than each other. Both think their **** doesnt stink. We just dont whine about France from a UN pulpit like they do us.
1. The reason the US decided that ****** was a bad man was because they were attacked by his allies. If the Japanese never attacked Pearl Harbour, you Americans would have been content to sit on your side of the world while he gased all those people for being "undesirable".
2. The US entered Vietnam because there was a chance the nation would be overrun by communists. Because Americans know best, and those evil, evil communists can't be allowed to spread, they threw arms and soldiers at the NVA. And you know what, you still lost; the communists won, invaded and are still in power.
3. The French don't win from the "UN pulpit" as you describe it, they try and talk sense to a war hungry dog who thinks that if they bomb the ever loving **** out of something, it will somehow change its mind. If you listened to the French, you'd not be up to your neck in **** in Iraq. Oh, but they had WMD's right? While the French wanted to wait, and get proof, the US dove in head first "who needs proof, I gots the nukez!".
|
Cleveland Steam
Neverland Ranch Hands
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 20:37:00 -
[38]
Edited by: Cleveland Steam on 04/07/2007 20:38:44
Originally by: Derovius Vaden
1. The reason the US decided that ****** was a bad man was because they were attacked by his allies. If the Japanese never attacked Pearl Harbour, you Americans would have been content to sit on your side of the world while he gased all those people for being "undesirable".
2. The US entered Vietnam because there was a chance the nation would be overrun by communists. Because Americans know best, and those evil, evil communists can't be allowed to spread, they threw arms and soldiers at the NVA. And you know what, you still lost; the communists won, invaded and are still in power.
3. The French don't win from the "UN pulpit" as you describe it, they try and talk sense to a war hungry dog who thinks that if they bomb the ever loving **** out of something, it will somehow change its mind. If you listened to the French, you'd not be up to your neck in **** in Iraq. Oh, but they had WMD's right? While the French wanted to wait, and get proof, the US dove in head first "who needs proof, I gots the nukez!".
1. We were coming out of the worst economic disaster our country had ever seen. No **** we were hesitant to commit to something like that without giving it serious consideration. Politicians were scared that it would throw us back into another depression. In case you're not familiar with it, google the "Great Depression". It kind of had an effect on the US for a number of years, to include those in which you are addressing.
2. France was there first. Contrary to popular belief, the US was asked to assist with the problem. Though there were secondary goals - of which keeping communism in check was one of them. No one can deny that...but to ignore France's role in the whole debacle is irresponsible.
3. Chirac was a condescending jerk. Freedom fries was a simple, low-brow way the people could respond. In retrospect im sure a lot of people are embarassed about it, but c'mon. Dude was a jerk.
Anyways. A point that I would like to make is that it is possible to poke fun at the US without being so blatantly hostile. Things that you can point out are as follows:
-We always wear white socks
-We have the fashion sense of a blind raccoon
-***** packs (srsly, wtf is up with ***** packs)
-Many of us have weight issues
-We tend to be naive when it comes to world affairs, but I attribute most of that to the fact that we are not expected to care
Edit: I completely forgot that f@nny is a bad word in the UK? Thats funny to me. Its like a hip purse.
Plz dont nerf my sig again... |
Kalahari Wayrest
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 21:03:00 -
[39]
Quote:
Edit: I completely forgot that f@nny is a bad word in the UK? Thats funny to me. Its like a hip purse.
it's not a bad word per se, it's just cutsifying or personifying the vagina. ***** is (or was) actually a girl's name (see famous five 'Aunt *****'). Similarly Willy, being a shortened form of William, being used to cutsify or personify the *****.
Personally I wish they hadn't. I'm convinced that encouraging children to name their privates would lead to all sorts of sexual issues in later life 
(oh please, come on. I understand how many words can be used as obscenity, but 'the p word'? that's a term you learn in sexual education at school. it's the correct biological term for the male genitalia and it's censored :P What a world, oh what a world.)
__________________________
Indulge Me
Consider Yourself Indulged - Immy ♥
Wow immy scored - Xorus |
Derovius Vaden
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 21:08:00 -
[40]
Originally by: Kalahari Wayrest
Quote:
Edit: I completely forgot that f@nny is a bad word in the UK? Thats funny to me. Its like a hip purse.
it's not a bad word per se, it's just cutsifying or personifying the vagina. ***** is (or was) actually a girl's name (see famous five 'Aunt *****'). Similarly Willy, being a shortened form of William, being used to cutsify or personify the *****.
Personally I wish they hadn't. I'm convinced that encouraging children to name their privates would lead to all sorts of sexual issues in later life
(oh please, come on. I understand how many words can be used as obscenity, but 'the p word'? that's a term you learn in sexual education at school. it's the correct biological term for the male genitalia and it's censored :P What a world, oh what a world.)
Whats really weird is that ***** is a dirty word and needs to be bleeped, but vagina isn't?
|
Kalahari Wayrest
|
Posted - 2007.07.04 21:11:00 -
[41]
well it's argueable that females are cleaner 
__________________________
Indulge Me
Consider Yourself Indulged - Immy ♥
Wow immy scored - Xorus |
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