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Irish Whiskey
Caldari The Malevolent
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Posted - 2007.07.09 05:50:00 -
[1]
Ok so I feel like being in the writing mood...
As I lay half-awake in my pod, my glass of whiskey sitting in it's cupholder, my neural-net is in constant communication with the processes of the computer that runs my cruiser-class force recon ship. Even though I am Caldari by blood, I never had sworn my commitment, which explains the cold black paintjob of the Gallente Arazu piloted by this emotionally shallow being.
I take a sip, beads of water on the outside of the cup dripping onto my shirt, I decide to make another move. It's not a tough decision, the nature of my ship allows me to go places without detection. It is time to stake an asteroid belt. Lots of pilots have been coming through my system as of late, and I've been serving myself way too much booze from the minibar I had my pod outfitted with. As I land out of warp my close range Identify Friend/Foe (IFF) module shows 2 cruisers are patrolling this belt, upon closer look I see Guristas tail flashes on their vessels. Poor bastards, someone is going to assault 'their' space soon, and most likely make a fast job of them.
One of my exotic dancers I keep in the pod makes good work of the pole I had installed for her, while my janitor serves me up another round. Time goes by so slowly, it's a fast race to the death which takes decades to accomplish.
The IFF system pings me and grabs my attention. A frigate has shown up, Rifter class. Obviously here to make a quick name for themselves by eliminating 2 more cruisers from the unending Guristas armada that exists. I activate my long range scanners which provide me with a very valuable result of nothing around but me, the cruisers, and the Rifter. I command my IFF system to provide me more details of the frigate and see, through computer wizardry I will never understand, this vessel has been in the hands of a pilot who only graduated Concord Intergalactic Space Travel Education (CISTE) a mere 2 days prior to this moment.
*sigh*
'I wish these greenhorns would heed the warning signs' I say aloud. 'Funny how you only show emotion moments before you kill another living being' my dancer replies. She is right, for when the last few words have left her lungs my cloaking device has been deactivated. Bad news for the frigate. It is a senseless killing, hardly any thoughts involved, which is why I stay imbibed on booze for this kind of life.
A big button on the left wall of my flight deck is mashed, deactivating my cloaking device, while the button to the right of it is immediately punched. The one-two knockout, the second button I had hard-wired into the electronics subsystem of my cruiser, boosting it's advanced targeting system with additional firing solution computations. I command my ship to activate the technologically advanced warp systems disruptor and 250 millimeter railguns to do their dirty work on the first thing the IFF gets a positive lock on, which happens to be the frigate.
Amazingly, most of these pilots do not get the seriousness of the situation they find themselves in. Basic training at CISTE warns that a ship within 20 kilometers can cause your warp drive systems to be compromised, they hardly brief that a well skilled pilot in these particular vessels can do the same at 56 kilometers.
As the railguns begin their recognizable sounds of the patterned onslaught, sounding like maniacal hyenas barking and hissing at their prey, my IFF system alerts me to some data that shows this pilot is not as green as most who have came before him. He was smart enough to modify his ship with a micro warp drive, and actually remembered the lesson about transversal velocity when faced against superior firepower. My railguns continue the chant of obliteration, but the readouts display little to no damage being done. I take manual control of my ship, and pilot it on an intercept vector directly in line of the rifter's evasive path.
Pt 2...
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Irish Whiskey
Caldari The Malevolent
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Posted - 2007.07.09 06:01:00 -
[2]
'Damn I shoulda spent more time studying those books' I say, the vixen who has now come and decided to watch my battle from behind my chair says 'You dumbass, obviously those things could have gotten him by now.' She is talking about the drones I have just deployed, which orbit my ship as if they were begging for table scraps like a domesticated dog.
If I had spent a couple more days reading the technical manuals on advanced drone operation, they would have chewed the frigate up by now. It doesnt matter, it is only a matter of time before I get close enough to control the drones that far away. This pilot may have been smarter than the others, but he lacks the true predator's instinct. Increasing his transversal velocity was good, but he failed to realize I was now flying directly at him, and the drones would be his undoing.
My IFF system relates to me a job well done, as the register shows a tick of a frigate-sized explosion within near radius of my ship. Usually I have pressed the big button on the left of my flight deck by now, to re-activate my cloaking device, but I have another matter to attend to.
The exotic dancer queries me about this, 'Why haven't you hit that button yet?' I reply 'You were right, I do show some emotion before destroying another living thing. I love you babe.' I grab her firmly by the waist and kiss her deeply. She is distracted with the passion I pay her to provide long enough for me to slice her throat with my knife. Anyone who gets to know me that well needs to be removed, I hope she had paid for a new clone. It would be a shame for all those years of dancing to be lost in oblivion.
If not, it doesn't matter, she was just livestock anyways.
I jettison a can and activate my cloaking device. At least I still have whiskey, that will keep me going until I swing into station to find another dancer.
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R0ot
Got R0ot
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Posted - 2007.07.09 06:32:00 -
[3]
Are you actually irish? Nice story btw ------------------------------------------------------------------ I don't think ill ever get it right... |

Faekurias
Federation Fleet Endless Horizon
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Posted - 2007.07.09 06:34:00 -
[4]
Nice one, and atleast it's not another flame/klepto/tiller/noobalt thread :D
Re-added for Dodiez :P |

Doctor Dre
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Posted - 2007.07.09 06:38:00 -
[5]
Originally by: R0ot Are you actually irish? Nice story btw
Thanks im glad you enjoyed it. Yep, half n half german / irish by blood, and 100% american in mind.
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Irish Whiskey
Caldari The Malevolent
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Posted - 2007.07.09 06:41:00 -
[6]
Yeah oops ok too much booze now the cat's out of the bag Dr Dre is my alt, or I mean I am his alt cause Im the main but he is older... Anyone else have an alt older than their main?
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P3109
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Posted - 2007.07.09 08:52:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Irish Whiskey Yeah oops ok too much booze now the cat's out of the bag Dr Dre is my alt, or I mean I am his alt cause Im the main but he is older... Anyone else have an alt older than their main?
isnt that kinda like being older than your birthmother? -------------------------------------------------- Arvald's temporary alt....damn creditcard company not letting me put money on me card >< |

Kharadran Sullath
Caldari IntoXication Inc
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Posted - 2007.07.09 08:53:00 -
[8]
Originally by: P3109
Originally by: Irish Whiskey Yeah oops ok too much booze now the cat's out of the bag Dr Dre is my alt, or I mean I am his alt cause Im the main but he is older... Anyone else have an alt older than their main?
isnt that kinda like being older than your birthmother?
It's a time paradox! Call the U.S.S. Relativity! ------ --Don't get saucy with me Bernaise!-- |

Oxymoron666
Gallente Demogorgon's Army
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Posted - 2007.07.09 12:53:00 -
[9]
liked it. well done.
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jimmyjam
Turbulent
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Posted - 2007.07.09 12:56:00 -
[10]
Nice story i enjoyed the i cut her thorat part the most.
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Irish Whiskey
Caldari The Malevolent
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Posted - 2007.07.09 14:02:00 -
[11]
Originally by: Kharadran Sullath Edit: Btw, nice story OP, although a pole and a minibar inside the pod might be difficult to have since it's filled with a gelatinous liquid 
You know those people who paid millions to have their ships rigged with shield, armor, and speed stuff? I paid 250k to have my pod rigged with a pole, a minibar, and a stereo. There's a crazy party going on in here 23/7. 3 modification slots ftw!
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Ibuy Andsell
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Posted - 2007.07.09 14:21:00 -
[12]
Edited by: Ibuy Andsell on 09/07/2007 14:21:07 woops
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Ibuy Andsell
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Posted - 2007.07.09 14:23:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Doctor Dre
Thanks im glad you enjoyed it. Yep, half n half german / irish by blood, and 100% american in mind.
So you're American then.
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Setanta NaFianna
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Posted - 2007.07.09 14:24:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Doctor Dre
Originally by: R0ot Are you actually irish? Nice story btw
Thanks im glad you enjoyed it. Yep, half n half german / irish by blood, and 100% american in mind.
So you're American then.
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