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Demonna
Hells Angels Inc.
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Posted - 2007.09.03 18:29:00 -
[31]
I enjoyed the OP, almost sounds like a commercial
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techzer0
IDLE GUNS
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Posted - 2007.09.03 18:37:00 -
[32]
Good writing makes up for the lack of kills he got... lol, I'll be watching for the next "audit" 
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Hi. I'm not an alt :) |
Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2007.09.03 18:42:00 -
[33]
Edited by: Vladimir Norkoff on 03/09/2007 18:44:31
Audit Log 20070903.01617 - It always makes me smile when an audit ends successfully. Concord mail arrived an hour ago. That damn Mr Yulai guy. But he was too slow this time! Audit already completed. Ha! Most amusing part is the BLOB fools don't realize they have already lost. 'Course they lost the moment they failed to pay their taxes. They just never realize until it's too late.
Final collection occurred earlier this morning. Running some Oimmo patrols. Only two suspects in local. Some faceless chump in a Drake, off in deadspace currying favor with corrupt elements of the Navy no doubt. Other is Drago Musevenii, sounds like some sort of greasy foreigner. No idea where he is. Unfortunate. No real urge to try and probe out the Drake, but it's all we got at the moment. Head to HQ to swap out to a ProbeDomi and there's Drago... in a Rook. About 50km off. Combat Recon. Bit tougher than the Arazu. More weapons, more fittings, better resists. Screw it! Gotta go for i-...
It disappears! Cloak eh? Interesting. Wonder why he did that. Didn't see me, still cloaked myself. Start heading in that general direction. Might be able to pull this off. He decloaks! Oh my. He's apparently "over-charged" his confidence a bit. Already in scram range. Uncloak, launch drones, hit the microwarp. Have him locked and damped before his sensors even clear. What was he thinking? Been flying twice as long as I have, he should know better. You want to cloak, use a Falcon! Seems he's got microwarp as well. Trying to rabbit, but nowhere near as fast as me. Shields dropping, but not quick. Damn T2 resists.
Close the distance. The big gamble. Let him get a lock. Need him aggro'd. Can't let him dock. But if he gets a jam, this could get ugly. He goes for it! Jams miss!! (thankgod!) But the first volley of missiles doesn't. Furies. Ouch. That's enough of that! Back out to 30km, damp him hard. He's out of cap. Still might not work if he's smart though. He's not! Into armor and he still hasn't gone after the drones. Doesn't even have FoFs. Heh. Preparation is everything. Iridium and drone plasma keep hitting. Into structure. Keep a weather eye out for his backup. Nothing. Rook explodes. Pod instawarps escaping final justice.
Not terribly well played on his part. But what can you expect from foreigners? Gotta give him props for not backing down though. Coulda ran to station immediately, but he fought it like a man. Grab the evidence. Nice. Full T2 fit and faction ammo. Recalculate fines and that covers it. BLOB account currently shows a credit of -2,000,000 ISK. Victory tastes sweet.
Taxman III: Attack of the Blob
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Jkrog
Minmatar
Xtreme Fighters
Giant Space Amoeba
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Posted - 2007.09.03 21:54:00 -
[34]
But...damn..oh well, at least he didnt flee, like you did when you where in trouble - thats the diff here Vladimir, you docked because you didnt want too loose your ship, Drago didnt, so in my term he's a better player than you, sorry too say. Anyway, good luck on your next audit.
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2007.09.03 22:43:00 -
[35]
 Originally by: Jkrog
But...damn..oh well, at least he didnt flee, like you did when you where in trouble - thats the diff here Vladimir, you docked because you didnt want too loose your ship, Drago didnt. If you pull up a fight, you fight too the bitter end, not just put your tail between your legs and flee or dock, thats cowardness.
I would certainly agree... if I weren't blobbed or had fairly even odds. But that's not something you believe in, is it, member of BLOB? Drago brought it solo with much chutzpah, I will always give him the nod.. Pity the rest of you couldn't... Hell, even CPU had bigger cajonesand they had LESS than half the flight time of your boys... So very sad. Next time just pay...
Taxman III: Attack of the Blob
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2007.09.04 16:17:00 -
[36]
Audit Log 20070904.01509 - The last 24 hours are always the most eventful. The criminal, in his desperation to avoid justice, struggles in the trap of his own making. Recklessly throws his forces into the IRS meatgrinder hoping that somehow he can score a victory... They never do.
Patrols in the evening came up blank. BLOB pretending to lay low. Few active, none in their usual spots. Hop into low sec to work on some trades. Pirates! A pair of vicious hooligans attacking those noble freedom fighters of Mito - the Black Rabbits. And apparently tearing the Rabbits a new one. Not good. Lock up to see what help I can provide. Geddon at 10% armor, Myrm untouched. Start deciding which to damp when there's a screech of uncloaking. BLOB Bomber! Natas Liah in a Nemesis! Quarter shields gone in the first volley. Devastators. Hate to see what they'd do to my armor. Facing bomber and possibly the hooligans as well. Too much. Warp.
Whip around and return cloaked. Fight is over. Hooligans somehow won, mopping up the spoils. Natas nowhere to be seen. But another BLOB bomber jumps in and cloaks. Interesting. They tried this tactic before, but never gave them the opportunity to use it. Well lets see how well it fails for them. Wait patiently. Pays off, Natas uncloaks as bait. A bit far off, some tricky warps to get into proper distance. Uncloak and fire. Rails and drones pummel. Other bomber unlcoaks at point blank and fires! Oh boy, this could get ugly. Lock back, cycle damps. Nemesis dying quick. I can do this. Gate activation! BLOB Rapier! Not good. Nemesis pops. Fools! You can't out-ninja the ninja! Cloak up, sacrifice the drones. Both play the cloaked waiting game. I make my move first. Uncloak, pop the wreck. Unfortunate. Was T2 fit and much of it survived, even the cloak. But if I can't get it, nobody will. They reply in kind by murdering my drones. Monsters! Still an incomparable success.
Catch some sleep and wake up refreshed for the last couple hours of the audit. Sleeping in space has it's advantages. One of them is catching a BLOB Hulk on scanner. Yeah baby! The perfect ending! Narrow it in seconds and warp in. Dammit! Too late. There's a can but no Hu-... Incoming! Meh. It's just a BLOB Itty V. But waste not, want not. Lock and fire. Give him the bump for good measure. Those blockade runners can be tricky after all. Not tricky enough though. Hauler pops. And final justice is quickly delivered to the pod. Another incoming! BS this time. The Hulk pilot back in a Domi. And lands right on top of me! Crap! Slam the microwarp! Need distance quick. Locked and webbed at 9km, but momentum pulls me through. Out of the web, and damp that biatch down. Bloody hell. That was almost messy. Gonna have to teach this boy a lesson. Chew down it's shields. Might have problems with the armor though. Pop the hauler wreck and mining can just to be safe. Toss out an offer to let him go for a small fee. He responds by having another BLOB Domi warp in. Mmmm... reckon that means "no". Pull in the drones and cloak up. Lesson is over.
A follow-up 2-on-1 all-Domi battle at station proves inconclusive. But on the plus side, at least one of them had to dock up first.
And so ends the BLOB audit. Definitely the most skilled group of suspects the IRS has audited so far. Many with over two to three times the amount of flight time I have. While successful, the audit only achieved a 109% collection ratio as oppossed to previous audits that have surpassed the 200% collection mark. Regardless, this audit holds the distinction of being the only one to date where the IRS has not lost a ship. No small feat considering the numbers and skill level of the BLOB. Final tally was Hurricane, Drake & Pod, Badger, Rook, Nemesis, and Iteron V & Pod. Can't help but think that it would have been easier and cheaper for them to just have paid the 100 million.
Taxman III: Attack of the Blob
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angeleyess
Gallente
The Royal Guard
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Posted - 2007.09.04 20:20:00 -
[37]
Props vlad, thanks for the good fights. you've certainly mastered the art of guerilla warfare :)
perhaps your next audit should be BoB :)
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Jonathan Swift
The Patriot Society
Giant Space Amoeba
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Posted - 2007.09.05 08:16:00 -
[38]
thx for the fun vlad ! It was quite entertaining to try and catch you - but as you say yourself; "You can't out-ninja the ninja"!  I look foreward to follow your next audit ...
/Jona
"Vision: The art of seing things invisible"
- Jonathan Swift |
Kayna Eelai
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Posted - 2007.09.05 08:23:00 -
[39]
DAMN!!!!
i finally catched up reading all of it. now what? can't wait to read the next audit log!
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Wideen
Resurrection
R i s e
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Posted - 2007.09.05 08:59:00 -
[40]
Very amusing to read! only reason why I stop by the C&P forums
Originally by: P'uck
I know somebody who heard somebody say that an Osprey defeated Chuck Norris. Twice. Need I say more?
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cRaNbErRy MuFfInMaN
mUfFiN fAcToRy
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Posted - 2007.09.05 09:10:00 -
[41]
Originally by: Vladimir Norkoff
Station manager is on a food break. Fecking union workers!
lol brilliant
Check out http://dl1.eve-files.com/media/0608/new.jpg |
skallszy
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Posted - 2007.09.05 16:41:00 -
[42]
A great loss mate, we cry in the path of great devastation you have left! LOL
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2007.09.05 18:53:00 -
[43]
Originally by: skallszy
A great loss mate, we cry in the path of great devastation you have left! LOL
Yes, well the fact that you feel obligated to post (along with all the other comments you have posted) does sort of support that now doesn't it?? Not really sure if I ever got to tangle with you skallszy. If I did, you didn't leave much of an impression. Sorry. Don't worry though, someday you'll get over your bitterness and accept what you really are...
In any case, it was certainly a good audit by your other alliance mates. Had some good fights, and some really really close calls in there. Got the adrenaline pounding on more than a few of those. And learned a few tricks as well. Was good. So thanks BLOB!
And thanks to all the avid readers out there! The moral support helps a hell of alot during these audits. Not sure what the IRS' next plan is. Still researching suspects. But never fear! The audit logs will continue in one form or another.
Taxman III: Attack of the Blob
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Epica
Caldari
Exiled.
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Posted - 2007.09.10 19:34:00 -
[44]
Edited by: Epica on 10/09/2007 19:34:15
When is taxman 4 comin? i really enjoyed readin this all :)
"Death by very big pew pew blasters."
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Corsa d'Azur
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2007.09.11 06:28:00 -
[45]
Next time we go to war? Tis a pity I missed out on this one.
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Lief Siddhe
University of Caille
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Posted - 2007.09.12 00:13:00 -
[46]
Very nicely writtin', monsieur Norkoff.
I sure as hell like it that the esteemed IRS can not audit members of the University of Caille, though. You seem to be a man possessed to prove that "you can ah-void everything but death and taxes".
I was somewhere around Old Man Star, on the edge of Essence, when the drugs began to take hold |
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