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The Golden Rules of Zerospace

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Andreus Ixiris Gallente Mixed Metaphor	Posted - 2007.11.22 18:20:00 - [1] So, in an effort to codify for my corporation's newer members (yep, both of 'em) some things that should always be kept in mind in 0.0 space, I attempted to make them at least somewhat amusing, while still being functional and true. Any ideas for rules of your own? 1. There is no circumstance in 0.0 in which you are not in danger. If you are not in danger, you are not in 0.0. 2. There is no-one in 0.0 that you can trust except for yourself. 3. Don't ever trust yourself. 4. Just because they're blue, doesn't mean they won't still shoot you. There is no such thing as friendly fire but there is such a thing as a hostile blue. 5. The reverse is, regretably, not true - there is no such thing as a friendly red. 6. Neutrals - aren't. 7. If you can see them, they can see you. 8. If they can see you, you're standing too close. 9. Never fly in a fleet without someone who's higher up in local chat than you are. Trust me on this. 10. Checking local is like checking your fly - if it doesn't come naturally to you, you're quite likely to have problems with, ahem, torpedoes. 11. Your scout isn't a real person. It's OK to leave him to die. 12. No plan survives contact with the enemy. Any reasonably intelligent person will have determined why this is the secret to Goonfleet's success. After that, I kind of ran out of funny. Anyone got some suggestions? ----- Mixed Metaphor is now recruiting! Contact me for details.
Aceoil Murder-Death-Kill	Posted - 2007.11.22 18:23:00 - [2] Turn all your ISK into expensive implants, put said implants in your ship's cargohold, run headfirst into fleet battles with this ship. Congratulations, you just made someone else in eve a very happy person. Spread the love.
Roc Wieler Polytope	Posted - 2007.11.22 18:28:00 - [3] As someone who is recently discovering the joys and pains of 0.0, I found this post humourous and insightful. Some things I have learned also, that may or may not be wise. 1. Never think you can beat anyone, ever. 2. Even if it's a shuttle, run away. 3. ALWAYS bookmark multiple exit waypoints. 4. System sovereignty is NOT your friend. 5. Auto-pilot is bad. 6. Fly with as empty a cargohold as possible. 7. While it might seem fun to try stealing from both sides of a large fleet battle, remember you have twice as many enemies wanting to pod you. 8. You automatically decloak when searching a wreck. I am sure there are many more I could add, but I have embarassed myself enough already here.
Andreus Ixiris Gallente Mixed Metaphor	Posted - 2007.11.22 18:50:00 - [4] 1. Tracking Disruptors are largely ineffective against Caldari. If you cannot work out why, you deserve whatever you get. 2. Just because they're already in 0.0 does not mean you can ignore redblinkers. Consider, if you will, what they had to do to begin blinking red in zerospace. 3. You cannot be shot while docked at an outpost. This does not mean you are in any way safe. 4. This is doubly certain if it isn't your outpost. ----- Mixed Metaphor is now recruiting! Contact me for details.
Sheriff Jones Amarr Please Enter Password	Posted - 2007.11.22 19:03:00 - [5] Just one: 1: If you need rules for 0.0, you shouldn't go to 0.0 My opinions represent the opinions of my corporation completely. I'm the CEO damnit.
Caldari Exile197	Posted - 2007.11.22 19:24:00 - [6] 1) There is only 1 rule, there are no rules.
Grimpak Gallente Trinity Nova KIA Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.22 19:45:00 - [7] in 0.0, paranoia is paramount. trust is overrated. --- planetary interaction idea!
Andreus Ixiris Gallente Mixed Metaphor	Posted - 2007.11.22 19:59:00 - [8] Originally by: Grimpak in 0.0, paranoia is paramount. trust is overrated. o/ 'sup Grimpak And yes, this is very true. ----- Mixed Metaphor is now recruiting! Contact me for details.
Kweel Nakashyn Minmatar Aeden Tau Ceti Federation	Posted - 2007.11.22 20:03:00 - [9] In 0.0, everyone is concord. 2isk
Aziz Hekato Vitai Lampada	Posted - 2007.11.22 21:07:00 - [10] 1. If you ever see a cloaked Drake, run. Trust me, run. 2. If you can see cloaked people, your cheating. _____________________________ Entering the Intergalactic Summit forum is like walking into a Startrek convention; All you'll see are a bunch of nerds and you'll go "WTF?"
Ishan Mons	Posted - 2007.11.22 21:22:00 - [11] The First rule of 0.0 is: you do not talk about 0.0 The Second rule of 0.0 is: YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT 0.0 The third rule of 0.0 is: If its your first time... you have to fight(and die) I see alot of you have been breaking the first two rules
iiOs	Posted - 2007.11.22 21:36:00 - [12] if you were born *, you stay * * is * many * in one place is very *
6Bagheera9 Slacker Industries Exuro Mortis	Posted - 2007.11.22 21:38:00 - [13] Pods are the only ships that can't shoot you, make sure that every non-blue you meet is flying one.
Fswd Gallente Black Ops Corporation THORN Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.22 21:46:00 - [14] Originally by: 6Bagheera9 Pods are the only ships that can't shoot you, make sure that every non-blue you meet is flying one. Pods can still annoy you in multiple ways, make sure they can't. ---
Agor Dirdonen	Posted - 2007.11.23 23:38:00 - [15] It's not because you're paranoid about probers, that they're not trying to probe you.
Ajja 17 Ars ex Discordia GoonSwarm	Posted - 2007.11.23 23:44:00 - [16] woah I'm always chilling in 0.0, never feel in danger. But then I'm used to it.
Kai Tempest Gemini Industries Inc Sylph Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.24 06:30:00 - [17] Originally by: 6Bagheera9 Pods are the only ships that can't shoot you, make sure that every non-blue you meet is flying one. I am just wondering what turrets your shuttle has and can I have one please :)
Holy Hammer	Posted - 2007.11.24 06:43:00 - [18] 1st rule: You do not talk about 0.0 2nd rule: You DO NOT talk about 0.0 3rd rule: If someone is podded, disconnects or gives you a ransom the fight is over 4th rule: lots of people can fight 5th rule: Lots of fights at the same time 6th rule: No caldari, no amarr ships 7th rule: fights will go as log as they have to 8th rule: If this is your fist night in 0.0 you have to fight!
DroneBay Diva Kandor Fleet Systems VENOM Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.24 06:54:00 - [19] Originally by: Andreus Ixiris 1. There is no circumstance in EVE in which you are not in danger. If you are not in danger, you are not in EVE. Fixed this one for you.
Ciuci FinFleet Band of Brothers	Posted - 2007.11.24 06:54:00 - [20] 1. Never fly anything you can't afford to lose 2. Never lose your npc/minning ship 3. Always trust your FC 4. Always trust your gang members 5. Never ever undock unless you checked if you have your clone upgraded
Sergeant Spot Black Eclipse Corp Band of Brothers	Posted - 2007.11.24 09:42:00 - [21] Funny thing is, I've always felt safer in 0.0, even in expensive ships in hostile space, than in 0.5+ with expensive cargo, even with tanked ships. 0.0 is relaxing once you truely understand the threats involved. My #1 rule for 0.0: Unless you are a scout, if your 1st warning that hostiles are present is that you see them in your overview, then you have already lost. Play nice while you butcher each other.
SengH Black Omega Security Pandemic Legion	Posted - 2007.11.24 09:54:00 - [22] I cant believe no one has mentioned this yet. Don't keep anything in a conquerable station unless you can afford to lose it at any time.
Danae Melios Azteca Transportation Unlimited	Posted - 2007.11.24 10:25:00 - [23] Never take all your worldly possessions with you. Leave something in Empire to make ISK with. When you lose your outpost/POS and your last ship is blown up and you are out of ISK, you will have something to come home to. You are dependent on the ability of your alliance mates to work as a team. If there isn't a plan going forward, be concerned. Empire is for developing plans and goals, 0.0 is for executing them. If leader x doesn't like to talk to leader y, it is a PROBLEM. Be aware of your role in the machine-- where do you fit into your corp, where does your corp fit into the alliance, and where does your alliance fit into its power bloc? There's a problem if you can't answer this, even more so if your mates can't answer it either. Post your deaths and your kills, but don't worry about them. It just prevents lots of spam in alliance mail. Hold up your end in pvp, even if it is just tackling in a frig. X up for gangs at every opportunity. Again, this helps prevent alliance mail spam. X up for enemy gangs, too-- they might just send you an invite. There's no use crying over dirty tactics-- a cursory examination of the forums will tell you exactly how much your honor is worth to your enemy (about the cost of your ship in KB points). Even if you don't employ them, learn them so you can at least understand why your clone woke up. Originally by: game box Conceive a new life without boundaries, where murder, plunder, betrayal, and delusions of grandeur will lead you to boundless glory or to the brink of ruin.
Grimpak Gallente Trinity Nova KIA Alliance	Posted - 2007.11.24 10:28:00 - [24] Originally by: Danae Melios There's no use crying over dirty tactics-- a cursory examination of the forums will tell you exactly how much your honor is worth to your enemy (about the cost of your ship in KB points). Even if you don't employ them, learn them so you can at least understand why your clone woke up. this can be translated into: If you're in a fair fight, someone screwed up. --- planetary interaction idea!
Sokratesz Rionnag Alba Triumvirate.	Posted - 2007.11.24 10:53:00 - [25] There are no rules in 0.0, all the ones you listed have so many exceptions that only experience and common sense can be trusted as a proper guide. Sig removed for the third time, inappropriate content. Sig Locked. If you would like further details please mail [email protected] - Cortes
Reem Fairchild Minmatar Military Industrial Research	Posted - 2007.11.24 11:01:00 - [26] Originally by: Andreus Ixiris 12. No plan survives contact with the enemy. Any reasonably intelligent person will have determined why this is the secret to Goonfleet's success. Cause they don't plan. A Goonswarm plan boils down to basically something like... 1. We're gonna go out and make things go boom. 2. We're gonna do it approximately somewhere over there. When their fleet moves, it's not like normal fleet movement in 0.0. It's like a nomadic horde on the Steppe. "Our target system is [whatever the system is]. Everyone burn there at your best speed. Scout, please try to stay a step ahead." When the first ships in the fleet arrive, the tail end of the fleet is still 6-7 jumps behind them.
d026 THE LEGION OF STEEL WARRIORS.... R0ADKILL	Posted - 2007.11.24 11:06:00 - [27] Quote: 9. Never fly in a fleet without someone who's higher up in local chat than you are. Trust me on this. so true! :))
d026 THE LEGION OF STEEL WARRIORS.... R0ADKILL	Posted - 2007.11.24 11:09:00 - [28] Probably the most important rule: 1. If the FC tells you not to jump, DONT JUMP!
Chainsaw Plankton IDLE GUNS	Posted - 2007.11.24 11:12:00 - [29] Originally by: Aziz Hekato 1. If you ever see a cloaked Drake, run. Trust me, run. 2. If you can see cloaked people, your cheating. it is a sad day for you when the drakes decloak on you
Reem Fairchild Minmatar Military Industrial Research	Posted - 2007.11.24 11:15:00 - [30] Originally by: d026 Probably the most important rule: 1. If the FC tells you not to jump, DONT JUMP! FC: "Hold at the gate, guys. Hold at this gate." Ships get to the gate. One person jumps. A second or two goes by. Someone else follows. A second later, 3-4 more people jump through. FC: "Guys, I did NOT say jump!!!"

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