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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 1 post(s) |
The Praetor
Valiant Logistics Inc.
EternalRising
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Posted - 2007.12.24 18:09:00 -
[1]
Edited by: The Praetor on 24/12/2007 18:11:52
Ladies and Gentlemen, CCP is mocking you.
Lets start:
The Truth about BoB and Titans:
Auhydride > Bob didn't destroy the titan, Chuck Norris got mad at bob and threw an ibis at the titan to warn them.
The Truth about POS's
The Praetor > Its a common misconception that Strontium Clathrates cause the invulnerable "reinforced mode". Strontium Clathrates are simply a favorite snack of Chuck Norris who shows up to munch on them and leaves when he is finished.
The Truth about WarpDrive Development
The Praetor > The original Warpdrive was not developed in a laboratory, It was actually coined after Chuck Norris consumed a Monster Energy Drink and then Round House Kicked the Space Shuttle across the galaxy.
The Truth about Skill Exploits
Slashmach1 > chuck norris fits 3500mm siege artillery on his sniper frigates because he has enginneering trained to 'chuck norris'
The Truth about the Hardest Hit in EVE
The Praetor > Combat: The Chuck Norris Galactic Annihilation Roundhouse Kick Barely scratches you, causing 11241235.45 X 10^1237 damage
The Truth about Warp Scrambling
Auhydride > Chuck Norris doesnt warp jam you, he says "NO" to your warp drive, and it stops working
The Truth about JumpDrive Technology
The Praetor > The Jump Drive was actually created by Chuck Norris, he was attempting to fit a Titan through a Stargate, the typical Square Peg in the round hole problem. Concord pleaded he was ruining the Stargates. Chuck Norris became angry at the suggestion that he was a vandal, and round house kicked so hard his foot bored a hole through Space Time to the other side of the galaxy and destroyed Jita and Concord.
The Truth about Jita Lag
caepha > you know how jita freeze up every few days? yeah... thats jsut what they want you to think. they are realy closeing down jita becasue chuck norris wants to trade something and if he doesnt ge the system to himself no one can have the system at all
Auhydride > Chuck norris doesn't lag in jita because everyone else freezes as he enters the solar system
The Truth about Titans and Doomsday Devices
Auhydride > Dooms Day Device is actually a cellphone, with Chuck Norris' number saved in it.
Slashmach1 > it was once believed that doomsday devices were unstopabble but then chuck norris looked up and put his chin in the path of the blast stopping it immediately and rebounding it on the titan
Slashmach1 > which destroyed it
Titans are not, in fact ships, but simply mankind's attempt to mechanically create Chuck Norris.
The Truth about EVE Economics
Auhydride > Chuck Norris doesn't pay spam fee to send messages since he IS the isk blackhole in eve.
/me Dons Fire Protection suit, hoses down the walls with foam, dons oxygen mask, seals the room, floods it with some kind of weird water/Halon Gas solution, and then chills the room down to near absolute Zero, grounds all conductive surfaces to prevent electrical fires, and alters the effects of Chemical Bonding to prevent "Chemical Burn". Oh and stands behind Chuck Norris to be even more safe...
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The Praetor
Valiant Logistics Inc.
EternalRising
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Posted - 2007.12.24 18:13:00 -
[2]
 Originally by: marakor
go away
/me Gives this one an extra dousing of Halon. Damn persistant little ****s.
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The Praetor
Valiant Logistics Inc.
EternalRising
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Posted - 2007.12.24 18:54:00 -
[3]
Originally by: Antea Lysandra
The truth about T2 BPOs:
The real source of Tech 2 BPOs was alwasy Chuck Norris's armpits, however he recently tried nanopaste (invented for him, not heat) as a deodorant, hence all the seeding of T2 BPOs has dried up.
Now that is funny.
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The Praetor
Valiant Logistics Inc.
EternalRising
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Posted - 2007.12.24 18:56:00 -
[4]
Originally by: Teldi Beinew
Originally by: The Praetor
/me Gives this one an extra dousing of Halon. Damn persistant little ****s.
he is right and you are an utterly worthless human being if you still find chuck norris jokes funny
Impossible. There is no such thing as Chuck Norris "Jokes", only Chuck Norris "Truths".
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The Praetor
Valiant Logistics Inc.
EternalRising
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Posted - 2007.12.24 18:59:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Elder Bob
This thread is terrible.
Then why did you post in it?
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The Praetor
Valiant Logistics Inc.
EternalRising
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Posted - 2007.12.24 19:05:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Elder Bob
Originally by: The Praetor
Originally by: Elder Bob
This thread is terrible.
Then why did you post in it?
You were apparently misinformed as to the quality of your thread. You clearly thought it was worth posting (as evidenced by your posting of it), thus I determined that in order to save you future embarassment of a posting nature, I should aid with correcting your misconceptions.
It's so bad it made me agree with Marakor.
Originally by: marakor
go away
All I offered was the truth, never said you would like it.
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The Praetor
Valiant Logistics Inc.
EternalRising
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Posted - 2007.12.24 19:20:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Elder Bob
Originally by: The Praetor
Originally by: Elder Bob
This thread is terrible.
Then why did you post in it?
All I offered was the truth, never said you would like it.
Now your copied remark shows the hallmarks of brilliance, but it doesn't answer the original question posed. You have now posted 3 times in a thread you hate. I'm starting to think you might be attracted to me. 
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The Praetor
Valiant Logistics Inc.
EternalRising
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Posted - 2007.12.24 19:45:00 -
[8]
Originally by: thelung187
Originally by: Aneu Angellus
Seriously, this Chuck Norris thing is complete and utter garbage. Can we please leave this in Internet history where it belongs and never bring it up again.
Quoted for truth.
To the OP: 2005 called, it wants it's unfunny jokes back.
Now that's funny. Merry Christmas thelung. You win!
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The Praetor
Valiant Logistics Inc.
EternalRising
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Posted - 2007.12.24 20:24:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Dave White
Technoviking > Chuck Norris.
Known fact.
Woah Woah Woah! The flaming, trolling, personality smears I understand... But Blasphemy! HOW DARE YOU!?!?!
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The Praetor
Valiant Logistics Inc.
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Posted - 2007.12.26 20:23:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Surfin's PlunderBunny
Originally by: Gyfrex
Originally by: Dark Shikari
Originally by: General Tsao
This is worse than barrens chat
I agree with a Goon 
Oh dear...oh very very dear....I'll prepare the holy water...someone find a <insert relgious cleric of some sort here>
*Puts on a robe*
I am here my son... God wants all your isk first though, so transfer it to me and I'll give it to him
Impossible, Chuck Norris doesn't need isk. When he goes NPC hunting, the NPCs give him money, then Chuck Norris kills them. Quote from someone else, but I chuckled none-the-less.
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