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Naridos
Caldari
IDLE GUNS
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Posted - 2007.12.25 11:44:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Naridos on 25/12/2007 11:45:17
I decided to throw this up here since it is now 6:45am for me on Christmas morning and I think this is worth posting.
I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 1 in the world). However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau).
At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.
II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them--- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.
The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accellerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.
Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.
Merry Christmas.
Naridos - Ye be a piwat 
**edit spelling**
 Quote:
Pandas are the PWN of Eve. Pandas!
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000Hunter000
Gallente
Magners Marauders
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Posted - 2007.12.25 11:47:00 -
[2]
Scrooge!!! 
CCP, let us pay the online shop with Direct Debit!!!
Magners is now recruiting, evemail me or Dagazbo ingame.
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Ephemeron
Caldari Provisions
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Posted - 2007.12.25 11:52:00 -
[3]
Quote:
At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold
I'm pretty sure that's wrong when you consider only Christian households. Birth rates in developped countries with high percentage of Christians are rather low. I think the number of children per household is 2 at best. In countries like Germany, Russia, it's more like 1.
Also, only a certain percentage of those people live in their own home. At least 50% of the people live in apartments
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Sister Impotentata
Elite Angels Of Death
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Posted - 2007.12.25 11:55:00 -
[4]
Good. Now figure how many G to accelerate from 0 to 6AU/s in ten seconds.
-----
TANSTAAFL
Originally by: Psycho John Petrucci
If there's any point where you feel it's too difficult, then just stop. Because you just, you don't have it, you're just not good.
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Icy Z
Superstars from Outer Space
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Posted - 2007.12.25 11:57:00 -
[5]
Naridos, u is wrong.
For Santa time and space dont exist.
Do da calculations again, based on dis.
Merry christmas!
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Shinnen
Caldari
Northern Intelligence
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Posted - 2007.12.25 12:06:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Icy Z
Naridos, u is wrong.
For Santa time and space dont exist.
Do da calculations again, based on dis.
Merry christmas!
That's right. For Quantum Santa is bound by string theory!
--
Banned since 2005, back by popular demand! They said it wouldn't happen!! |
Sarkkon
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Posted - 2007.12.25 12:08:00 -
[7]
Santa is an extra-dimensional entity from beyond space and time. Our limitations of time and space are not percieved by him. He laughs at out laws of physics. When the stars are right he flies up from antedeluvian depths of the North Pole....oh wait... thats Cthulhu.
Anyways the Stars are RIGHT
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Rilder
Caldari
Oberon Incorporated
Morsus Mihi
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Posted - 2007.12.25 12:09:00 -
[8]
Edited by: Rilder on 25/12/2007 12:09:21
Originally by: Naridos
I However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions,
You forgot Pagans, but this isn't the place for that kinda discussion...
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Sarkkon
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Posted - 2007.12.25 12:14:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Rilder
Edited by: Rilder on 25/12/2007 12:09:21
Originally by: Naridos
I However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions,
You forgot Pagans, but this isn't the place for that kinda discussion...
why not? it was their holiday first? well time for me to toss anothe Yule log on the fire...
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Ormen Tuttle
Caldari
Intergalactic Amalgamated Inc.
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Posted - 2007.12.25 12:40:00 -
[10]
A few facts...
Santa Clause is an elf with elven magic that transcends the laws of physics. There are many elven Santa Clauses as well so he can be in many places at once. Finally Reindeer use warp speed, and Santa sleigh is in fact a converted Kestrel.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Santa 138792.
Ormen Tuttle
http://www.ahnog.us/eve.htm |
Heliocon
Infinitus Odium
The Church.
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Posted - 2007.12.25 13:08:00 -
[11]
As populations grew santa bought a new ride....... A Interceptor! Now he can travel at many au a second has a present gun that shoots toys down chimneys while he is overhead and a tractor beam to carry all the presents! The reindeer where sold of for enough isk to buy him a T2 Mwd!
Except for rudolf who has his nose used as a tail light.
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Tyleritus
The Coalition Of Buccaneers
Mercenary Services
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Posted - 2007.12.25 13:17:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Sarkkon
Originally by: Rilder
Edited by: Rilder on 25/12/2007 12:09:21
Originally by: Naridos
I However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions,
You forgot Pagans, but this isn't the place for that kinda discussion...
why not? it was their holiday first? well time for me to toss anothe Yule log on the fire...
No we stole the day it was on and certain traditions like Yule Log and mistletoe, St Nick was a ST born what is no Turkey.
The Coalition Of Bucaneers Are Recruiting
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Mark Lucius
The Vinlanders
SMASH Alliance
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Posted - 2007.12.25 13:35:00 -
[13]
Too many poorly based assumptions. Any good engineer would rip this to shreds and enjoy his presents.
---
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Sqalevon
The Ragnarg Brotherhood
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Posted - 2007.12.25 13:45:00 -
[14]
Good read.
I always thought rudolphs red nose had something to do with the speeds, it's acting as a heat shield 
I LOLed.
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Amuko
Amarr
Disturbed Amarrians
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Posted - 2007.12.25 13:54:00 -
[15]
I think I've seen this before somewhere, or something awfully similar, ah well, good read anyway  .
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Bluebear8
Orion Ore International
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Posted - 2007.12.25 17:18:00 -
[16]
We refuse to accept your premise or your conclusions.
Because, if we accept any part of this ... then we might also be forced to conclude that EvE is not REAL.
ôGod, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.ö
There is, and will always be, a SANTA CLAUSE. 
MERRY CHRISTMAS to ALL, and to ALL a GOOD NITE!
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Dax Bandar
Gallente
Ixion Defence Systems
The Cyrene Initiative
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Posted - 2007.12.25 17:54:00 -
[17]
You forgot one thing, Santa Claus uses Magic Dust
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