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Sin Fae
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2008.07.11 08:58:00 -
[31]
(I think Vlad got banned from the forums for a bit btw)
"Suicide Gank Someone Day"(prizes)
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Thoran Karlien
Di-Tron Heavy Industries
Atlas Alliance
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Posted - 2008.07.11 10:16:00 -
[32]
 Originally by: Sin Fae
(I think Vlad got banned from the forums for a bit btw)
Pity :-/ His audits are some of the better/best things to read on these forums. Hope you recover fast from that.
____________________________
Whine : The only FOTM than never gets nerved or out of style! |
Petra Arkania
Minmatar
Ajo Heavy Industries
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Posted - 2008.07.11 21:34:00 -
[33]
Originally by: Sin Fae
(I think Vlad got banned from the forums for a bit btw)
:( ima cry!!!!
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Hegotu Alecto
Minmatar
Destructive Influence
Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2008.07.11 22:46:00 -
[34]
if thats the case i can give you an email i use and post them myself, its the only thing worth reading on these forums and caod suxx
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Prince Moneyface
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Posted - 2008.07.12 21:53:00 -
[35]
I need more Vlad in a very bad way.
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Corsa d'Azur
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2008.07.13 03:07:00 -
[36]
Originally by: Hegotu Alecto
if thats the case i can give you an email i use and post them myself, its the only thing worth reading on these forums and caod suxx
Don't worry too much mate. We'll make sure things get posted if there's anything new to post.
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Sean Avery
Revival.
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Posted - 2008.07.18 00:57:00 -
[37]
If my quackulations are correct Vlad should have the ducttape removed from his mouth tomorrow
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Sin Fae
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2008.07.18 01:42:00 -
[38]
Edited by: Sin Fae on 18/07/2008 01:43:30
Ahh, the Funtanainen Sukuuvestaa Mall. Such a nice place. 10am and have a couple clock hours to burn until lunch. Rent some skates and try out the Ice Dome. Hmm, whats that on the PA?
"Would the owner of a Black Manticore please come to the Dock customer service desk, please"
It can't be. Hobble over to the lift. Dock clerk. Really fat Amarr woman. Really skinny Gallente man. Typical husband/wife transport team. Dock accident, Manticore now a twisted hood ornament for a lucky Ity5. Start filling out the 36 page IRS form 296A... the dreaded Standard Accident Report, (SAR). Call the office. No answer. Compose an email for Vlad: "The darndest thing happened today....."
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Suicide Gank Someone Day"(prizes)
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Marcus Boush
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Posted - 2008.07.22 03:08:00 -
[39]
Anyone know when Vlad will start updating this again? loved his storytelling ability and its always a pleasure to read ;)
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2008.07.23 22:19:00 -
[40]
Yeah yeah, I'm back. I'll post the ending either tonite or tomorrow morning.
And then after that I'll post a long and detailed rant against CCP in general and the forum moderation in particular, which will probably get me banned again. But f*** 'em.
Taxman VI: Voided Ledger
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2008.07.24 18:47:00 -
[41]
Audit Log 20080702.2044 - Payment proposal a bit perplexing. True, it's what we always ask for, but we never really expect anyone to do so. Just very confusing. Decide to sleep on it. Next morning is chaos. Contact all the employees. Set up a corporate wide meeting. Hold a vote. The two of us reach a unanimous decision. We will accept the payment and damn whatever else occurs!
But until that happens, still business as usual. Start running patrols in the Vexor. Hop into the VO deadend system. 5 in local comms. Even their little CEO, Shar Pei. Small, noisey, high-maintenance. Very annoying. Still holed up in their POS bubble though. Also annoying. Run the belts to bait them out. Some of their Gurista wrecks about. But otherwise nothing. Wait. Notice an Onyx on scan. At a station. Interesting. Warp in and it's Shar Pei. Obvious trap. But never shot an Onyx before. And conceivably it could be as fail fit as their other ships. Plus it's an Amarr station. The kind I'm rather familiar with. Hit the MWD, lock, point, drones. Slam into him an send him careening off into space out of docking range. Then slap on the web and ACs. No escape for you little doggie. But don't think he needs to. Definitely not fail fit. And doggie is biting back. Cal Navy Heavies. Hurt a bit. But at least they're not HAMs.
Check scan and here comes the rest. Crapacal, Thorax, that stabbed Harbie, and the Phoon. Lovely. Crapacal is the target. Make the kill and gtfo. Keep hitting the targeters until it completely falls out of warp. Switch drones over and start making my distance. Wouldn't be good to get webbed here. Drones chewing away. And then their mini-fleet opens up. Ouch. Got some thick armor but still not gonna stand up long to this punishment. Crapacal shields down and into armor. Start bee-lining away. Will make us a good artie target, but gotta get out of scram distance. Crapacal still in armor. Plate? DCU? Into structure myself. Onyx heavies hitting hard. Now kinda wishing they were HAMs so I could range them out. Thorax barrelling in behind, but we're faster. Half hull and Crapacal in structure. Definitely has a DCU. Crap. Quarter hull. Kill the microwarp and start aligning. MWD mass still there. Still aligning. Incoming scourge volley. Oh shit! Warp the pod out. Damn. -239,000,000 ISK.
Back to gate and get a new ship. Always come back. Don't let them get their feet back under them. Problem is got a few jumps to go. Back to Hag, hop in the Myrm, start heading back. First jump and... hullo! Looks like they got their feet back under them. Thorax, Drake, Harbie, and poodleboy switched to a Scorp. Probably a tanked to hell battle Scorp too. Mmmm, yeah. Hit the MWD, back to gate. Cruises, neuts, webbed, but momentum carries me through. Jump. And the Phoon is waiting. Huh. This is almost competently executed. MWD out of distance and warp. This audit may become a challenge after all.
Spend an hour or so pondering our next approach. And then get a call. It's ******. And he wants to make the payment. All 100mil of it. Starts crying about how he is low on ISK though. All his savings to protect his corp. Blah blah blah. Cry me a river you criminal scum. Like I could care less about your fiduciary health. Pay or die. And I've seen you in a HAC as well. Set terms. Pay and the audit ends. As long as they stay in their deadend system for the 24 hours they're safe. And above all, keep his name out of it. Doesn't want to upset the poodle. Whatever. Agree. Makes payment. Tries to short me 200K. Whaa! Whaa! It's all I got." Like we haven't heard that before. Can only wonder what his life expectancy would be like in lowsec. Politely demand the remainder. Get it after more whineage and info about his personal life that I couldn't give less of a shit about. But we've gotten paid. That's the important part. First time for an entire corporation. It's a novel experience. Retract the audit, broadcast the terms in their system.
Taxman VI: Voided Ledger
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2008.07.24 18:48:00 -
[42]
Audit Log 20080702.2044 - Continued - Sin comes strolling in a bit later. Banker hours? Must be nice. Flash the wad of ISK and start divving up to proceeds. Go over the experiences for the day. She points out that they might think that we retracted due to the Vexor. Mmmm. Good point. To the Arazu! Run patrols. For the most part they are playing it safe. Holing up in their system. Got a few stragglers though. Bounce around gates and get a target in local. Azuelgati. What the hell kind of name is that? Some horrible spelling of "blue cat". Well come here kitty kitty. And he does. In a Hulk. Oh my. Uncloak as he jumps and follow. He's already trying to align when sensors clear. You'll never be fast enough for that to happen. The procedure is second nature. Uncloak, lock, point, drones, rails. Give the bump for good measure. He tries to engage the logoffski drive. Idiot. Hulk pops. Drop a probe and hunt the pod. Always good to end an audit on a positive note. -439,000,000 ISK.
Taxman VI: Voided Ledger
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Ariesen Serenity
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Posted - 2008.07.24 18:49:00 -
[43]
before you get banned again, link that post over here so the rest of us that never leave C&P can read it!
but maybe you won't get banned....I've missed reading your exploits!
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2008.07.24 23:58:00 -
[44]
And so ended the Void Engineer audit. Tbh despite the carnage, I didn't have all that much fun in this one. They never really seemed to have the sense that they could win (unlike for instance the CPU or BLOB audits). And it's kinda a letdown when they don't want to bring the fight. They were just more carebeary than I anticipated. Which honestly is something they would probably agree with. Made me feel like a big bully griefer rather than a heroic scrappy underdog. 
In any case, actually got them to pay. Though probably would have been smarter for them to do it in the beginning. Got 1 BS, 3 BC, some frigs, and the ever popular Hulk Trifecta. Sin Fae was invaluable and definitely would not have been able to do the Ravens without her. No real flaws that I saw on our part, and think that we did pretty well.
That being said, was also going to segueway into a long diatribe about CCP and Mods. Found that I didn't really care enough though. Short summary is that CCP has a great game, but they screw it with their over-nerfing (RSDs), their pre-nerfing (bombs & Black Ops), and their lack of purpose for small gangs in their vaunted 0.0 (eg POS warfare, Local, & CynoLogistics). Forum moderation is bizarrely subjective. Some threads will get crushed instantaneously, while other completely off-topic geekage threads will remain open for weeks and even get Mods contributing. Plus their banning policies are probably a bit self-defeating. In my particular case gave me ample opportunity to explore other games. Consequently EVE has been thrown to the back-burner. So won't be any Audit Logs for awhile. GTCs and long skills.
Taxman VI: Voided Ledger
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Nexus Kinnon
SniggWaffe
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Posted - 2008.07.25 00:36:00 -
[45]
That's a shame mate, I felt you added something to C&P.
Good luck in whatever game you choose to pursue! 
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Devian 666
Igneus Auctorita
GoonSwarm
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Posted - 2008.07.25 00:55:00 -
[46]
That is a shame as you've been the other competent poster in C&P for some time.
Take a break from eve for a while and enjoy doing other stuff.
http://obeythekitten.com/ |
Xasz
AnTi.
Atrocitas
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Posted - 2008.07.25 01:44:00 -
[47]
Shame to see you go, I really enjoyed the logs. Only thing worth reading in C&P, honestly. Good luck to you in all your future endeavours. 
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Jaratsri
Amarr
Royal Hiigaran Navy
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Posted - 2008.07.25 07:10:00 -
[48]
Not to happy to see you take a pause from EVE but might be for the best, everyone needs to step back from something to see if they really like it or not from time to time, have fun with what ever you might do and hope to see more of the taxman in the future. |
el M
Caldari
Romanian Space Explorer
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Posted - 2008.07.25 11:40:00 -
[49]
The IRS gone !!!  whip off the champagne !!! business will flourish again !!!
Seriously C&P needs you back ...
-----------------
aspiring carebear |
Krecian
Gallente
United Trade Coalition
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Posted - 2008.07.26 03:19:00 -
[50]
Edited by: Krecian on 26/07/2008 03:20:43
Vlad,
I find myself agreeing with you. Much of my short time here in Eve has been spent here in CnP in an effort to educate myself of what I might expect in any future encounters with my fellow players. Quite frankly, I find the inconsistent manner in which threads are moderated to be confusing. This is especially true when so many pointless and abusive threads get pretty much ignored, making it an effort for newer players like me to dig up anything useful out of it.
Your threads, Vlad, have been informative and entertaining to me. I have learned quite a bit of the kind of tactics one might find in the harsh and cruel universe that is Eve. While I admit that this "book knowledge" is no substitute for experience, I feel it better prepares me for what to come.
Thank you for your contribution to these forums. It has helped at least one of us walk away a little better informed about the game.
<edit was for minor formatting>
"The first rock thrown again, welcome to hell little saint. Mother Gia in slaughter, welcome to paradise soldier." -Nightwish, Planet Hell |
Sin Fae
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2008.07.27 21:51:00 -
[51]
Reading about our adventures is just as fun as doing them. I would sometimes bug Vlad "are you writing the next one yet??" Excellent excellent writer he is.
So, another audit complete, I gather up my things in a small box at the IRS Office in Oimmo. Metal clip dispenser, check. Swingline stapler, check. Leather chaps and rubber shirt -er <looks around>. Turn off the lights. Enter the elevator and feel an uncontrollable smirk. Until the next audit:o)
"Suicide Gank Someone Day"(prizes)
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Jennifer Celeste
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Posted - 2008.07.28 18:19:00 -
[52]
came expecting a thread about the voiding of heath ledgers life...leaving incredibly disappointed. |
Sin Fae
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2008.09.04 05:03:00 -
[53]
Bumping in Vlad's honor and for others to enjoy these good reads :o)
Quote:
"Justice..is in the hands of those who wish to take it"
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ZeCamerone
Caldari
Zinder Enterprises
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Posted - 2008.09.04 15:00:00 -
[54]
Awesome reading, as always. Much more entertaining than the typical pirate blogs.
So what thread got him banned? I'm afraid I missed that part.
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Xasz
AnTi.
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Posted - 2008.09.04 17:19:00 -
[55]
Ye gods, necro outta nowhere
--Random Links:--
eve-pirate.com, read and share your Yarr adventures
Ransom Boards, get one for your corp |
Tal Nok
Amarr
Digital assassins
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Posted - 2008.09.04 18:23:00 -
[56]
TBFH, there needs to be a sticky that is made linking all of the IRS posts from day one.
Best posts ever on these forums. |
Sarutobi Sasuke
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Posted - 2008.09.24 03:39:00 -
[57]
Gayness log 101: Someone called the ADD's
I found a forum thread in C&P that resembles something similar to that of a fat man's a$$hole. When it was approached, I could hear several voices screaming inside. Making sounds that go "squelch squelch". After the surgery gloves were put on and the fat man's a$$ was stretched to beyond its elastic deformation and going into permanent plastic deformation, I could see Vladimir Norkoff and his group of "I-wanna-be-an-attention-w***3-just-like-Vlad" noobs inside it. They were trying to get out of the a$$hole that had sucked them in but they were too deeply buried inside of their own s-h-1-t.
When I called out to them "Are you sure you wanna stay down there?" they replied "um............yeah? Why wouldn't we? We're enjoying all of this. You should come join the club"
...............No thanks
After a few more minutes of disgusting scenary with more rubbish being thrown around in the form of forum threads, I decided to take a step back and look at the owner of the a$$ that they had all been sucked into.
Turned out to be Vlad's
P.S. I tried REALLY hard to avoid the censoring (FREEDOM OF SPEECH FTW) and I will probably get banned for 2 weeks for posting something that "intentionally infuriates other people" as someone said to me.
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Devian 666
Igneus Auctorita
GoonSwarm
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Posted - 2008.09.24 04:29:00 -
[58]
Originally by: Sarutobi Sasuke
Gayness log 101: Someone called the ADD's
I found a forum thread in C&P that resembles something similar to that of a fat man's a$$hole. When it was approached, I could hear several voices screaming inside. Making sounds that go "squelch squelch". After the surgery gloves were put on and the fat man's a$$ was stretched to beyond its elastic deformation and going into permanent plastic deformation, I could see Vladimir Norkoff and his group of "I-wanna-be-an-attention-w***3-just-like-Vlad" noobs inside it. They were trying to get out of the a$$hole that had sucked them in but they were too deeply buried inside of their own s-h-1-t.
When I called out to them "Are you sure you wanna stay down there?" they replied "um............yeah? Why wouldn't we? We're enjoying all of this. You should come join the club"
...............No thanks
After a few more minutes of disgusting scenary with more rubbish being thrown around in the form of forum threads, I decided to take a step back and look at the owner of the a$$ that they had all been sucked into.
Turned out to be Vlad's
P.S. I tried REALLY hard to avoid the censoring (FREEDOM OF SPEECH FTW) and I will probably get banned for 2 weeks for posting something that "intentionally infuriates other people" as someone said to me.
tl;dr
http://obeythekitten.com/ |
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