Apollo Quinn
ADAMA Corps
Intrepid Crossing
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Posted - 2008.08.05 02:00:00 -
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Edited by: Apollo Quinn on 05/08/2008 02:00:26
ADAMA Corps Official Statement
THE INTERNET and Lackeys,
I have a strict NO REFUND to non-alliance member policy. Though I am aware you left IRC, you had undoubtedly been aware of this decision months prior and proceeded at your own will. Had you inquired prior to your departure I would have read to you the "NON-ALLIANCE, NON-PARTICIPATION" clause agreed by you upon accepting the terms and conditions that apply to Raffle participants. To remain consistent and fair, I must operate within the boundaries set at the raffle's inception, else risk a breach of contract litigation. You understand I will not have any of that during my term of office. Therefore I am forced to regretfully inform you of your negative equity investment and will gladly offer a gratuity gift of 1 (one) Tritanium. To obtain said Tritanium, please meet me, without prior scheduling, outside of your pod at any location in EVE space. Thank you for your donation to ADAMA Corps and its subsidiaries. We appreciate your investment.
I am acutely aware of THE INTERNET and the complicated sophistication that the inter-alliance, multicultural intellect of the aforementioned corporation brings to CAOD. Due to this I've prepared the proper translation fit for a more civilized respondent.
For translation please refer to the following statements:
- The internet is not real. It is a series of tubes.
- The tubes are also not real.
- I know you are but what am I.
- That's what she said.
- By she I mean 'your mom' and by said I mean 'was... a demon in the sack."
Prior rebuttals to any further dispute on the topic will be promptly ignored. If you wish to believe in a response please consult the following list which may contain but is not limited to:
- Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date.
- If I wanted lip from you I'd wipe it from my zipper.
Nothing that you have said has prompted these responses. We at ADAMA Corps firmly believe it is not what you say that counts, but the thought behind it. And we all know there is never thought behind anything THE INTERNET says. So we blame your parents. And Incest. ADAMA Corps encourages its members to learn from their mistakes, so please learn from your parents and use birth control once you've found a man drunk enough to seem interested.
As CEO I assure you that if anyone from ADAMA Corps has offended you it was purely intentional. We hope that you can read our responses through your helmets... even though none of you can play football.
Because we've all agreed that THE INTERNET could not pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel, out of pity ADAMA Corps would like to help you out. Now, which way did you come in?
Sincerely,
Apollo Quinn
CEO
ADAMA Corps
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