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Lallante
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Posted - 2004.06.01 02:16:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Lallante on 01/06/2004 02:23:47
Edited by: Lallante on 01/06/2004 02:19:32
In the beginning God created the forums and the game.
Now the forums was moderator-less and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
And God said, "Let there be sh1te," and there was sh1te. God saw that the sh1te was crap, and he separated the sh1te from the noobishness. God called the sh1te "Corperations Organisations and Factions" and the noobishness he called "Eve General" And there was Barad, and there was Bob-the first flame thread.
And God said, "Let there be an expanse of meaningless rhetoric to separate flame from flame." So God made the expanse and separated the flames under the expanse from the flames above it. And it was so. God called the expanse "Jade" And there was Woetra, and there was Duke-the second flame thread.
And God said, "Let the Flames under the sky be gathered to one place, and let them be called Kill-List threads." And it was so. God called the Kill-Lists "meaningless BS" and the gathered flamers he called "a-holes" And God saw that it was good.
Then God said, "Let the meaningless BS produce 8 page threads: war decleratons and insults in the thread that then get moderated, according to their various severity." And it was so. The threads produced flames: and flamers were banned according to their kinds and posts were deleted according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. And there was Prophecy, and there was Miso-the third flaming thread.
And God said, "Let there be noobs in the expanse of the forums to separate the carebearz from the griefers, and let them serve as signs to mark balance changes and nerf-patches, and let there be forum admins in the expanse of the forums to give warnings on the boards." And it was so. God made two great forum moderators to govern the carebearz and the griefers. He also made the Polaris. God set them in the expanse of the game to give apologies for their inability to do anything useful, to punish those who got too good at the game, and to generally exploit their powers to help themselves. And God saw that it was good. And there was Josh and there was Iceblock- fourth flaming thread
And God said, "Let the empire space teem with fuzzy carebears, and let the decent players fly out into 0.0 across the expanse of the universe." So God created the great battleships of the 1.0 mining ops and every noob and carebear with which the empire teems, according to their kinds, and every 0.0 PvPer according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and increase mining yield and gain skillpoints plentifully, and let the 0.0 Alliance gain in power to ridiculous levels." And there was Zap, and there was Notferr-the fifth flaming thread.
And God said, "Let the empire space produce endless T1 mods: guns; things for the protection of mining ops, and Battleships, each with increasingly more miner2s" And it was so. God made the BSs mainly for mining, while a few were condemned to PVP, and all the players that move along in empire were thankful. And God saw that it was good.
Then God said, "Let us make GMs in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the sheep of empire and the griefers of the 0.0, over the Weaponary, over all the Ships, and over all the players that move along through space."
So God would have created GMs in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
but he got bored and at the last minute instead:
Foolish and Impotent he created them.
Lacking in the powers they fundamentally needed
God blessed them with banning ability and said to them, "Be harsh and unfair on highend players; fill empire space with bubblewrapped safety cocooned noobs who believe it is their right to be 100% safe at all times. Rule over the sheep of empire and the griefers of 0.0 and over every player that moves along in space."
Then God said, "I give you every possible ability and power you could ever need, with one exception. You will not have the power to log player action sufficiently well, as this is not neccessary.Instead, you can just claim that there is not enough proof of the bug each time and thereby neatly avoid dealing with it.
God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was Dalman, and there was Olyyy-the sixth flamingthread
Thus the game and the forums were completed in all their vast array.
By the seventh day God hadn't finished the work he had been doing, but under the tenuous excuse of a hardwear upgrade decided to call it quits; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done, despite the fact that the seventh day saw the highest playercounts and therefore the greates need for Gods help.
(Genesis Ch2 coming soon)
Lall - THE Vocal Minority -
ShinRa
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Omber Zombie
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Posted - 2004.06.01 03:58:00 -
[2]
Lallante, sometimes you scare me 
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"Remember people: Omber is the biggest evil ever created, DO NOT let it get to you!"
Waagaa Ktlehr, BDCI
I have a blog
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Davlan Locheck
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Posted - 2004.06.01 04:14:00 -
[3]
ROFL 
(IBTL)
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Trevedian
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Posted - 2004.06.01 04:28:00 -
[4]
I ain't religious... But balderdash never seemed so humorous Tee Hee Huddle Ha!
Sex0r > you're bounty turns me on.. you seem like the kind of amarrian to dominate me
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Begottenotmade
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Posted - 2004.06.01 04:54:00 -
[5]
lol ( claps)
The part about the bug's and reasons for them and GM's "not being able to find anything that shows the servers are showing any bugs" glad to keep knowing they tell this shyt to everyoen else too.
gotten
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Vel Kyri
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Posted - 2004.06.01 05:59:00 -
[6]
OMFG!
LOL
that was truly inspired :)
Are you sure you havn't been reading the Pax Amarria or something :)
sounded familiar <grin>
-----
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Hanns
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Posted - 2004.06.01 06:14:00 -
[7]
And on the eighth day god created Lallante, who hence forth flamed about flaming
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Andre Milvois
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Posted - 2004.06.01 07:26:00 -
[8]
LMAO. bravo and eagerly awaiting chapter2.
------Exploring the universe...again |
Sqalevon
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Posted - 2004.06.01 07:34:00 -
[9]
Cheers Lallante :)
LOL that was funny :D
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jason hill
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Posted - 2004.06.01 08:11:00 -
[10]
well done lallante ...this made a refreshing change from the usual dross that posted on the forums ..
"THE HUMAN SHIELD" |
Miso
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Posted - 2004.06.01 08:25:00 -
[11]
 Originally by: Lallante
And God saw that it was good. And there was Prophecy, and there was Miso-the third flaming thread.
Third?!
--------------------------------------------
Dead
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Lallante
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Posted - 2004.06.01 10:53:00 -
[12]
I think I portreyed TomB in the starring role of God. Not sure tho. We will see how it goes next chapter
Lall - THE Vocal Minority -
ShinRa
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Alkad Mzu
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Posted - 2004.06.01 11:36:00 -
[13]
Edited by: Alkad Mzu on 01/06/2004 11:38:05
How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lallantifer, son of the morning! How art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!
________________________________________________
Head of Public Relations, Fountain Alliance |
Deadflip2
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Posted - 2004.06.01 12:57:00 -
[14]
thy foul beast!
---
"this song reminds me of the girl i met on a schooltrip, she was really nice, and she really liked me.
I forgot to ask her her phone number" - Nelix trist
OMG im a pretzel!!! |
Orestes
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Posted - 2004.06.01 13:03:00 -
[15]
Quote:
"Let there be an expanse of meaningless rhetoric to separate flame from flame."
Join the IC! |
hellwarrior
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Posted - 2004.06.01 15:09:00 -
[16]
That is truly amazing. I like the bubble warp cocoons. Do they come in small? Also the non-logging player action is 110% true.
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bUBbLeS
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Posted - 2004.06.01 15:18:00 -
[17]
good job
i see the antz have bent you to thier will
Julius ceaser : "operor vos volo MCCCXXXVII laganum bUBbLeS?"
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OverKill
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Posted - 2004.06.01 16:34:00 -
[18]
Hate to **** on your parade mate, inspired or not it might be offensive to those who are more religously inclined.
Regards,
OK
-
[email protected] - http://www.hadean.org
Chief Executive Officer - Hadean Drive Yards |
Jade Alexander
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Posted - 2004.06.01 16:53:00 -
[19]
Yes, all we need now is the Pharisees to come out and shout blasphemy! 
Blas-pher-me, blas-pher-you, blas-pher-everyone!
Really enjoyed your post Lallante and i can't wait for Chapter 2...
________________________________
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Lallante
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Posted - 2004.06.01 18:11:00 -
[20]
Quote:
Hate to **** on your parade mate, inspired or not it might be offensive to those who are more religously inclined.
If you are the sort of person who could be offended by something like this then I would be surprised that you dont think of the internet and computers in general as 'Satans tools' or something equally stupid.
Lall - THE Vocal Minority -
ShinRa
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Sassinak
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Posted - 2004.06.01 18:26:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Lallante
Quote:
Hate to **** on your parade mate, inspired or not it might be offensive to those who are more religously inclined.
If you are the sort of person who could be offended by something like this then I would be surprised that you dont think of the internet and computers in general as 'Satans tools' or something equally stupid.
Lol.
Sass
Arcane Technologies |
OverKill
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Posted - 2004.06.01 23:11:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Lallante
If you are the sort of person who could be offended by something like this then I would be surprised that you dont think of the internet and computers in general as 'Satans tools' or something equally stupid.
This only helps illustrate my point. Your ignorance and lack of understanding for others views does you great discredit.
[email protected] - http://www.hadean.org
Chief Executive Officer - Hadean Drive Yards |
Xavier Arron
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Posted - 2004.06.01 23:37:00 -
[23]
LMAO - you must of had a moment of divine inspiration !!!
Very funny, bring us the 2nd chapter, and perhaps the 10 commandments aswell :)
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Lallante
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Posted - 2004.06.01 23:43:00 -
[24]
2nd chapter up,
http://oldforums.eveonline.com/?a=topic&threadID=84312
I have a good idea for the 3rd and then im gonna move books so I can do The flight from Egypt of the Israelites (the flight from Empire of the 0.0 Alliances) and the recieving by Moses (Tank CEO) of the 10 commandments (rules of service relating to banning).
If this is upsetting anyone, lets face it, you would have been more upset by what i ususually post, so keep it shut :)
Lall - THE Vocal Minority -
ShinRa
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Xavier Arron
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Posted - 2004.06.02 19:25:00 -
[25]
Originally by: Lallante
2nd chapter up,
http://oldforums.eveonline.com/?a=topic&threadID=84312
I have a good idea for the 3rd and then im gonna move books so I can do The flight from Egypt of the Israelites (the flight from Empire of the 0.0 Alliances) and the recieving by Moses (Tank CEO) of the 10 commandments (rules of service relating to banning).
If this is upsetting anyone, lets face it, you would have been more upset by what i ususually post, so keep it shut :)
LMAO - Tank CEO is Moses, leading his people / flock (all the noobs) to the promised lands. This I have to see
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Jeebs
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Posted - 2004.06.03 02:55:00 -
[26]
excellent.
(\_/)
(x.x)
(> <) This was Bunny. Kill Bunny and stop him from achieving world domination. |
Ioncloud
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Posted - 2004.06.03 10:58:00 -
[27]
creative, yet flys in the face of over 2 billion or so Christians worldwide who find it sacriligious. |
Bad Harlequin
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Posted - 2004.06.03 13:10:00 -
[28]
Originally by: Sassinak
Originally by: Lallante
Quote:
Hate to **** on your parade mate, inspired or not it might be offensive to those who are more religously inclined.
If you are the sort of person who could be offended by something like this then I would be surprised that you dont think of the internet and computers in general as 'Satans tools' or something equally stupid.
Lol.
yeah lol until you work in IT for a while, and then you realize they ARE Satan's tools...
You are in a maze of twisty little asteroids, all alike. |
Bad Harlequin
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Posted - 2004.06.03 13:30:00 -
[29]
Originally by: Ioncloud
creative, yet flys in the face of over 2 billion or so Christians worldwide who find it sacriligious.
in the last 2 days i've seen more posts like this than i care to think about and i'm sick to death of it.
Fortunately the Worldwide Christian Hegemonic Crusade does not yet control freedom of speech over bulletin boards about video games in Iceland (or hosted in England, i know...), so if thine eye offends thee...
why does it never occur to such people that YOU are trying to impose YOUR views on US? Not the other way around! Your right to let everyone know that free speech offends you is NOT > my right to assume that this game-related forum will not be the latest staging ground for the Fundie Invasion. You are putting forth the idea that, since certain religious extremists MIGHT find something to be POSSIBLY offensive, he must censor himself... and you accuse HIM of "not respecting other people's views???"
Mind-boggling.
Let's be clear - the foundations and assumptions of this game are, strictly speaking, hangin' on the edge of blasphemy. The Amarrian Empire, frex, is a tad more blashpemous in its assertions than a humourous rewrite of a commonly-known religious text, neh?
one thing in particular stands out: how you note the number of potentially offended Christians. As if that mattered in a rational debate. Are you all going to come over and beat me up? Is your right to anything determined by your roll call?
One person's right to write a story will be > TEN billion people's "maybe being offended" any damn day of the week.
Moreover, if we get right down to it, there are any NUMBER of explicit commands, rules, requirements, laws, and various and sundry other stringent pre-reqs set down in the book in question that i KNOW you aren't following. Since I strongly doubt you are a murderer, or that anyone you know has married his sibling's widow out of obligation. So let's just not go there at all and get back to the game. Mmmmkay?
and BTW it is in fact spelled "sacreligious." You know... RELIGIOUS? with a great big SAC sitting in front of it...
As i final note....
i am not an athiest, at all. But i don't think 1) my existence hinges on my proving my belief to every stranger i meet, and 2) i don't recall the universe hiring me as its Karma Enforcer this pay-period.
Why do so many people who believe in a Divine Unknowable Unquestionable Plan see fit to meddle in it so often? It don't make sense to me...
Investigate a concept called "horizontal prayer vs. vertical prayer." A religious person does what they believe, between themselves / their family and the universe, vertically, as per their beliefs, and doesn't need to go "viral" and overwrite others'. You may meet a dozen such people a day and never know, because it's their own private life.
Horizontal prayer is visible, invasive to others' space or beliefs or inappropriate to situation (since others' beliefs are 'wrong' anyway it doesn't matter), and are ultimately more to prove to observers how religious and observant you are than anything else.
Since i have seen about half a dozen posts like this with no mod response, warning, deletion, or editing, this means such topics are A-OK! I am not a-ok with them, but if they stand, my comments will too. I will not be streamrollered by the holy censorship crusade. Not in this lifetime.
Now Go Away, or i shall Taunt You a Second Tahm-Uh.
lighten up man, you'll live happier.
You are in a maze of twisty little asteroids, all alike. |
RagnarH
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Posted - 2004.06.03 14:05:00 -
[30]
Lallante, u guys taking break from Mining now ??
u got to much time on your hands
This char is perm banned on forums :S |
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