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Corillion
Celestial Apocalypse
Resurgency
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Posted - 2008.10.03 11:54:00 -
[1]
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
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ReaperOfSly
Gallente
Lyrus Associates
The Star Fraction
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Posted - 2008.10.03 12:00:00 -
[2]
Erm, are you applying the notion of Darwinian natural selection to sweets?
You're a genius! 
__________________________
 Quote:
...bored, skint, no charter, and a ship that looks like an explosion in a girder factory...
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Alex Raptos
Caldari
The Firestorm Millennium
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Posted - 2008.10.03 12:03:00 -
[3]
    
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LordSwift
INTERSTELLAR ENTERPRISE
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Posted - 2008.10.03 12:36:00 -
[4]
you mate. Are mad. But this is a great idea. I will keep reading to find out the result. Made me laugh
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Kazuma Saruwatari
Caldari
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Posted - 2008.10.03 12:50:00 -
[5]
Thread delivers, oddly
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Daelorn
Perkone
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Posted - 2008.10.03 12:51:00 -
[6]
Old and you didn't come up with it. CITE YOUR SOURCES YOUNG MAN!
But funny.
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Sodium Phosphate
Gallente
Killer Koalas
Kingdom of Butan
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Posted - 2008.10.03 13:45:00 -
[7]
thread delivers. keep an update going, with statistics!
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Marie Duvolle
United Sentients
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Posted - 2008.10.03 13:47:00 -
[8]
I'm not listening to you
I'm not listening to you!
I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU!!!
LALALALALALALA!!!! BAD thoughts, BAD! Go AWAY! MUST NOT GET INFECTED!
Don't stir the hornet's nest |
Reven Cordelle
Caldari
School of Applied Knowledge
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Posted - 2008.10.03 13:53:00 -
[9]
How do you account for the fatigue that one M&M may gain after recieving test apon test of your warm, crushing fingers?
Is this fair that the new contender is battling a tired old veteran, heated by the temperature of dispute (and body heat), thus the new M&M's chances of victory are higher?
Our veterans core may reach 28 degrees, the point in which his internal structure loses its structural integrity... he may buckle. Shattered that his test was unhinged by enviromental unbalance.
...
This one time, I got a brown M&M... but instead of it being an "M" on there, it was an "N".
I couldn't help but laugh at that.
I have some M&M's in the fridge, supercooled warriors internally modified to the structure-enhancing temperature of 4 degrees celcius.
I shall test them in similar circumstances, yet I feel they may be stronger than we think...
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Slade Trillgon
Siorai Iontach
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Posted - 2008.10.03 16:19:00 -
[10]
To much time on someones hand
This thread made me laugh lots.
Slade
Originally by: Crumplecorn
NerfBat is now known as the WaveMachine.
≡v≡ |
Jacob Mei
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Posted - 2008.10.03 16:23:00 -
[11]
Bah, M&M's are the weaklings of candys. Now if you want a real test of candy strength you need to go with skittles!
--------------------------------
To borrow a phrase:
Players who post are like stars, there are bright ones and those who are dim.
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Marcus Arelios
Caldari
An Eye For An Eye
Rigor Mortis Mortalis
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Posted - 2008.10.03 16:53:00 -
[12]
If thats the case my combatant of choice is the jawbreaker.
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Khadur
Minmatar
The Priory
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Posted - 2008.10.03 16:57:00 -
[13]
LMAO this one delivers
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Slade Trillgon
Siorai Iontach
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Posted - 2008.10.03 18:33:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Marcus Arelios
If thats the case my combatant of choice is the jawbreaker.
Or Jolly Ranchers aka the Jawstickers 
Slade
Originally by: Crumplecorn
NerfBat is now known as the WaveMachine.
≡v≡ |
Straight Chillen
Gallente
Solar Wind
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Posted - 2008.10.03 19:08:00 -
[15]
I live only a few miles from their plant in Hackettstown, If you stop there, they will give u free candy and stuff! We took a field trip there back when i was in like 3rd grade, it was probably the best field trip ever!
Please resize image to a maximum of 400 x 120, not exceeding 24000 bytes. If you would like further details please mail [email protected] ~Saint |
quave
Caldari
Perkone
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Posted - 2008.10.04 11:36:00 -
[16]
Edited by: quave on 04/10/2008 11:37:39
Mad man, you're a mad man, you have doomed us all. keep breeding genetically superior M&M's and i guarantee it wont be long before the candy is squeezing us between thier fingers. |
Nathanial Victor
Minmatar
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Posted - 2008.10.04 11:51:00 -
[17]
i know completely what your talking about
my peanut butter cups talk to me
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Eternal Error
Exitus Acta Probant
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Posted - 2008.10.04 15:40:00 -
[18]
Copypasta.
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Jago Kain
Amarr
Pan Galactic Traders
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Posted - 2008.10.05 04:42:00 -
[19]
Hmmm... this rings a bell.
{two minutes work with google later}
....and I realised with horror, that I'd seen this awful thing before!
Plaigarism 4tw :(
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
___________________________________________________
The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Irulan S'Dijana
Amarr
Imperial Academy
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Posted - 2008.10.05 04:45:00 -
[20]
Originally by: Jago Kain
Hmmm... this rings a bell.
{two minutes work with google later}
....and I realised with horror, that I'd seen this awful thing before!
Plaigarism 4tw :(
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
That's what I thought!
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Illwill Bill
Minmatar
Scandinavian Carebears AB
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Posted - 2008.10.05 12:32:00 -
[21]
MAde me laugh, nonetheless.
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Dantes Revenge
Caldari
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Posted - 2008.10.05 16:01:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Jago Kain
Hmmm... this rings a bell.
{two minutes work with google later}
....and I realised with horror, that I'd seen this awful thing before!
Plaigarism 4tw :(
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
The worst of it was, he didn't even rewrite it in his own words, just a straight copy/paste.
--
There's a simple difference between kinky and perverted. Kinky is using a feather to get her in the mood. Perverted is using the whole chicken. |
EspionageX
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Posted - 2008.10.06 00:19:00 -
[23]
Sure he could have presented it better but still a nice cheap lol none-the-less
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Vabjekf
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Posted - 2008.10.06 01:50:00 -
[24]
that link is from september 07, but i swear ive seen that before then
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annoing
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Posted - 2008.10.06 10:26:00 -
[25]
It really doesnt matter if its cut and paste 
I've never seen it before and it made me smile and even chuckle. Surely thats the most important thing?
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