Pages: [1] :: one page |
|
Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 0 post(s) |
KiltedWarrior
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 02:59:00 -
[1]
NeophyteÆs Guide to Waste Disposition
(Newbs guide to taking a dump)
With combat and industrial work emphasized by the Eve in-game tutorial few people have come to realize the importance of waste acquisition and reprocessing. Through back alley press I have learned that many members of the Eve community are not aware that it is necessary to acquire skills in this area as demonstrated by the increased incidences of player and character bowel explosions that are littering ôreal lifeö community and online medical facilities. It is with great eagerness that Blackwatch Industrial Groups media division would like to remind newbs and some seasoned players of the importance of establishing and increasing proper skills in the areas listed below.
If you have not received skills in the area of waste disposition then you should invest immediately in the basic skills. Most new players do start out with ôOut House Iö so that immediate emergency needs can be addressed until Level III defecation is achieved. While newbs may be happy with achieving Out House skills, some players feel that indoor plumbing has its advantages. If you plan to achieve use of indoor toilets you will need to acquire ôPorcelain Orifice Toilets I (POTI).ö Please be aware that in order to achieve maximum effectiveness of the toilet (i.e. flushing) you will first need Engineering III, Home Plumbing II, Water Compensation IV and Handle II before attempting POTI. Some people do experience problems with POTI when engaged for too long so it is recommended that you add Basic Medical III to your skills so that you can overcome disabilities with Numb Legs I.
When attempting to use the ôindoor toiletö you will be reminded that POTI will require the same progression of use as Out House. Urination can be accomplished at level I, diarrhea at level II, hard discharges (crap) at level III and rendering gifts unto the porcelain gods (puking) are level V but be reminded that Level V attempts at rendering gifts will require Kneeling III, Religion II and Alcohol V or Fever V as is appropriate.
When you are finished training POTI it is recommended by spouses that you take some advanced training in Toilet Paper I. Proper use of TPI is not fully realized until level IV so be aware that you may still find skid marks up to level III.
For the gentlemen readers, please be aware that two of the newest specialized skills now available include Urinal I and Wall Writing I. As a reminder, wall writing does require Bad Poetry and Puns V, Writing Utensils IV and Insults II.
Last but not least, some will appreciate the time honored Flatulation Skill. While it is not required that you use this in conjunction with POTI, we highly recommend it. If used with POTI, Hazmat Level V is not required as players are taught in POTI IV that Hazmat materials are often found in the bathrooms and should be prepared. Even with POTI, Flatulation does require Noxious Fumes III and Taunting V. Some less than gentle men may find it humorous to use Flatulation outside of POTI and will need Innocent Face IV as well as Bold Face Lying II. Those skills taken one level higher also make you eligible for Silent But Deadly I. Sound Suppression combined with SBDI enables players to clear out corporation meetings and end conversations in game.
I hope this has been helpful to new and old players alike. These skills in combination with online manuals should remind players what to do in ôreal lifeö when stepping away from their monitors. G-d bless and good gaming.
|
Karrade Krise
Galatic P0RN Starz
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 03:00:00 -
[2]
Edited by: Karrade Krise on 15/02/2009 03:02:09 lmao....well formatted...well written...and oulandishly hilarious.
I approve of this epic thread.
Apoctasy > unfortunately, Concord does not reimburse citizens for their own stupidity
|
Cat o'Ninetails
Rancer Defence Force
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 03:01:00 -
[3]
Edited by: Cat o''Ninetails on 15/02/2009 03:02:15 Rancer Defence Force has recently gained all of these facilitys.
please apply when you are ready!
Also, I believe that you should join Rancer Defence Force. It's cool. |
techzer0
IDLE GUNS IDLE EMPIRE
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 03:05:00 -
[4]
That is all. ------------
Originally by: Nexus Kinnon I could outgay you even without my pink tutu. >.>
|
Karrade Krise
Galatic P0RN Starz
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 03:07:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Cat o'Ninetails Edited by: Cat o''Ninetails on 15/02/2009 03:02:15 Rancer Defence Force has recently gained all of these facilitys.
please apply when you are ready!
I saw what your original reply was....
"This is a cat post"
Tool...
Apoctasy > unfortunately, Concord does not reimburse citizens for their own stupidity
|
Wolftalker
Minmatar Republic University
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 03:24:00 -
[6]
KiltedWarrior, EPIC WIN!
|
MidnightMartyr
Gallente NailorTech Industries Ethereal Dawn
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 03:56:00 -
[7]
Oh god damnit! This is the second thread I've been to that's made me spray pepsi on my keyboard. Things are getting sticky...
|
Karrade Krise
Galatic P0RN Starz
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 03:59:00 -
[8]
Originally by: MidnightMartyr Oh god damnit! Things are getting sticky...
Bow chicka bow wow...
You should at least get
Aiming (Rank 3) to at least level 4.
Apoctasy > unfortunately, Concord does not reimburse citizens for their own stupidity
|
Verx Interis
Amarr Honour Bound Sc0rched Earth
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 03:59:00 -
[9]
Edited by: Verx Interis on 15/02/2009 03:59:51 Official Verx Seal of Epic Win.
Originally by: MidnightMartyr Oh god damnit! This is the second thread I've been to that's made me spray pepsi on my keyboard. Things are getting sticky...
How about you don't have the Pepsi in your mouth while you're reading threads? ---- Logins required for this post: 247717 |
MidnightMartyr
Gallente NailorTech Industries Ethereal Dawn
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 04:04:00 -
[10]
Originally by: Verx Interis Edited by: Verx Interis on 15/02/2009 03:59:51 Official Verx Seal of Epic Win.
Originally by: MidnightMartyr Oh god damnit! This is the second thread I've been to that's made me spray pepsi on my keyboard. Things are getting sticky...
How about you don't have the Pepsi in your mouth while you're reading threads?
But... but... pepsi!
Originally by: Karrade Krise Bow chicka bow wow... You should at least get Aiming (Rank 3) to at least level 4.
Damn I knew my character sheet was missing something...
|
|
Rhalellan
Minmatar Celtic industries
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 04:10:00 -
[11]
worth reading, it was. hmmmm?
(sorry, watching "Clone Wars" on TV)
."The road to Hell is paved with good intentions" |
Matherin Kerbouchard
BlackWatch Industrial Group
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 05:41:00 -
[12]
ROFL!!!
|
Gonada
Priory Of The Lemon Atlas Alliance
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 05:45:00 -
[13]
nice
Please, jump into traffic
|
Archadam
The Scope
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 05:48:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Karrade Krise
Originally by: MidnightMartyr Oh god damnit! Things are getting sticky...
Bow chicka bow wow...
You should at least get
Aiming (Rank 3) to at least level 4.
Also, train Manly Endurance to III at least to prevent some hillariously epic in-pants action.
|
Isil Rahsen
Ferrum Superum
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 06:02:00 -
[15]
I approve of this public service annoucement.
|
DasDizzy
Beyond Divinity Inc
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 06:05:00 -
[16]
BYDI seal of approval [SIG START]
Everything i say is the view of the rest of the eve cluster, IM THE PRESSDUDE FFS
|
RemanDax
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 06:13:00 -
[17]
LMAO, but what do you do when podded in a system with no stations or planets? Do you need to train for a Pod Mini Waste Receiver and Dehydrator? And what about political waste (a politicians promises and slogans)? What skill sets do we need to dispose of "change" and "hope"?
|
Necrosmith
Gallente Chunder Corp
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 06:28:00 -
[18]
I know it's funny, and I wanted to laugh but I didn't.
What's wrong with me? ---- For those of you who claim to support the troops and oppose national health care, I have a question. Why do you insist on punishing our veterans with free health care? |
Mr Moldy
BlackWatch Industrial Group
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 08:37:00 -
[19]
I'm Mr Moldy and I approve of this message.
|
Zeba
Minmatar Honourable East India Trading Company
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 08:45:00 -
[20]
Op is
Also..
Just in for m10 to go along with all the new POTI skills.
T3 Toilets!
Yay! Got meh sig back! ♥ Weatherman |
|
Dragonnari
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 18:44:00 -
[21]
now where am I going to find the bpc's for the tech 2 potti's, oh I know through wormholes. Pretty much figure once I go through the first of those a potty better be handy ROFL.
|
Spurty
Caldari Amok. Minor Threat.
|
Posted - 2009.02.15 18:48:00 -
[22]
lol well done OP
Moar poasts like this please!
EVE needs more humor and less drama BrRAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiNNNNNNZzzzzzzzzzzz |
|
|
|
Pages: [1] :: one page |
First page | Previous page | Next page | Last page |