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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2009.03.23 08:25:00 -
[31]
Audit Log 20090318.1009 - Faced with the enormity of our losses, I do what every great leader does when dealing with crisis. I lock myself in the POS and brood. Not to be confused with sulking or pouting, as brooding is much more manly. Strangely, it doesn't seem to solve a damn thing though. Ships are still lost, and I'm still utterly and completely alone. Or are we? Are there more cloaking ECMboats out there? Maybe even watching me from outside the POS? Unsettled. Begin jumping at shadows. Mustn't be tied down in the POS. To the covOps and the safety of the cloak. Invisible silence.
Wandering patrols, when scanners pick up a hit. Myrmidon. This is where things turn around! The boundaries of my territory will be respected! Drop probes, narrow down the hit. Bingo. Preliminary warp shows a Sleeper Checkpoint. Hmm. Cancel and come it at range. Sleepers gone, but Myrm is there. And it's covered with military insignias. Fed Defence Union, aka Frog Militia. Oh, hell no! Not in my house! Quick scan of the pilot show some weird foreign name. Apparently translates to "City Cornmush". Bloody foreigners. Mark a wreck and go grab the Ishtar. Barrel back in and land right on top of him. Scram, web, drones, the ACs and neuts start humming. Ripped deep into armor in seconds. Babbles something across comms. "Mercy!" Hit the translator again. Apparently means "Thankyou" in frogspeak. Guess he realizes he needed to be put out of his misery. Deserves nothing less for flying such degenerate Gallente tech. Satisfying explosion. Caldari pride! Cycle targeters, prep the scram. Normally let pods go during these impromptu audits. No longer! The invasions stop here! I'll build a wall of bodies to keep them out. We'll fight from a rampart of frozen corpses. No more interlopers! And City Cornmush is the first to learn that lesson.
Euphoria lasts throughout the evening. Plus turns out it's Intergalactic Alcoholics' Day. Freeze dried corned beef & cabbage, recycled beer. Life is good. Every scan is an opportunity. Every site result a future enforcement ground. And the diligence pays off. Another trespasser! Drake. Hold the probes, work the scanner. Betray no clues to our presence. Have the system mapped. And the old lowsec skills are still there. Quickly narrowed down. At the sun of all places. Not moving, dropping probes. Brilliant.
Transponder IDs him as JerleShannara (for some reason think of bad writing and plagiarism). Diplomat for something called the New Zion Judge Advocate. Sounds official. But fake. And impersonating a bureaucracy is a capital crime. Set a warp point, Ishtar again. Perfect landing. Hard to miss when they don't move. Start shredding the shields. Local comms crackle. He doesn't seem to be a very diplomatic. And the reward for his invective is to become another brick in the corpse wall.
This is how it's done. Life is good indeed.
Taxman VII: Kingdom of Vlad
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2009.03.23 08:26:00 -
[32]
Edited by: Vladimir Norkoff on 23/03/2009 08:28:31
Audit Log 20090319.2142 - Tax enforcement is a constant cycle of ups and downs. Sometimes both.
Have finally gotten used to how these wormholes work. Apparently operate in 24-hour cycles. Old holes collapse, breed a new set. This time to Monkey space and another wormhole system. Adventure! Check the unknown space first.
CovOps and some quick scans. Domi and Drake. Near Sleeper Data Receivers. They look shadey. Better kill 'em before they do something illegal. Grab the ever-useful Ishtar and head back in. Land near the Drake, Domi a good ways off, 2 Sleeper cruisers. Could be bad if the MWD gets shut down. Still nothing ventured, nothing gained. Light up the Drake. Good tank on it. To be expected in a Sleeper site. It's missiles don't do crap though. Cal Navy Kinetics. Not much good on an Ishtar. Sleepers a different story though. They switch targets to me (of course) and hit hard. Drake into peak recharge, I'm hitting half armor. Domi closing at about 35km, releasing Valks. This will be close. Keep orbit on the Drake, motion reduces damage. Drake's peak breaking when we bump a receiver. Sleeper missiles hit us motionless. Ow! 20% armor. Drake at fractional shields. Domi hitting disruptor range. Dammit! Discretion the better part of valour. Pull drones and bail out of system. Back to POS and rep up.
Sigh. So close. Maybe second time is a charm? Jump the Ishtar back in. Amazingly, they're still there! Warp in and start locks. Drake warps. Good, wanna take the Domi this time. I try Ogres. He tries Valks. Fail. Wait for his hi-slots to hit... Nothing? Remote repper then. Ogres and ACs all over him. And his tank isn't budging. At all. Mine of course is. I so hate Sleepers. Fortunately no web or point. Pull, align, warp. Guess they weren't criminals after all. Oh well, misunderstandings happen. No death, no foul. Wish each other best of luck and part amicably. Public relations - it's what we do best.
Check out Monkey space next. Turns out we have a Myrm mothballed a few jumps away in Oddeluff. From back in the Rabbit days. Pretty convenient considering that ISK is beginning to get a bit tight. Dropped below a billion for the first time in two years. And if we can't manage our finances, how can I hold others accountable? Truely a dilemna. Meh, worry about it later. New ship comes first. Fly the pod into lowsec. Empty systems, empty stations. Like a ghosttown. Hit the hangar lights, and there she is. Underneath lots and lots of dust. Fire up the systems. check the dronebay. 5 Gardes. Wow. This thing is ancient! Quick refit to modern systems, and we're on our way. Back into IRS space. Time to check the adjacent system again.
Hop in and can't believe it. Vargur. Solo. Quick scan, pray he's stupid. Well obviously he is - solo in a Marauder. Just hope he doesn't scan for probes. Result, pull probes, warp to range. Some sort of Frontier site, don't care. Bookmark a wreck and back for the ubiquitous Ishtar. Cross fingers as drop out of warp. Still there. Land. Target. Pointed! YES! Let loose the Ogres. His shields shredding amazingly fast. Needless to say, Sleepers switch targets. Open comms for some more public relations. "300mil or you die biatch!!111". Sleepers lay in to me hard, already in half armor in seconds. But he's too scared to notice. Wallet flashes. Pull drones and warp. Check the amount, it's all there. OMFG this makes it all so worthwhile. Sudden doubts of billions in faction evidence. Bah, money in hand better and safer. Plus... Wormhole space just broke even! All profit from here!
Head back home gleeful. Park. Rep. Scan. Shock. There's another POS! Amarr small. Fully setup. Oh christ! I'm not alone anymore. Invasion #2... And the day had been going so well.
Taxman VII: Kingdom of Vlad
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Vorn
TheGC
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Posted - 2009.03.23 14:44:00 -
[33]
A pleasure to finally see you back in game. Great to be reading these audits, always keep me entertained. See you on the other side of the hole!
Genos Occidere Director
- Amarr Convert -
Purge the Heretic |
Fat Uncle
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Posted - 2009.03.24 12:55:00 -
[34]
WWGD? Indeed!
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2009.03.25 08:25:00 -
[35]
Audit Log 20090320.1820 - Preliminary reconnaissance of the invaders indicates they are apparently scientists. Intaki Reasearch Group. Basically a Frog slave race. Part of an alliance too. Wonderful. And for scientists they sure do pack some heavy firepower. Torp batteries, beam lasers, double warp disruptors. No labs. Typical Gallente aggression. Will probably have to end up killing every last one of them.
Thier habits are sinister and militant. Moving about in haulers. Launching Core probes. Sitting in their tower. Blatant aggressive moves! We choose to remain silent and hidden in the CovOps. Observe. And it pays off! Find their attack ships on scan. Astarte and Brutix. Launch probes, narrow them down, warp-in at range. They are in a Ladar site... harvesting gas. This is odd. Move in for a closer look. Lots of dust clouds which don't show up on overview. Crap. Will try and play it by visual. Fails utterly. Decloaked after moving five clicks. 95km off. I look at them. They look at me. Quickly align. They wave... I tentatively wave back. Hmmm. Warp out anyway. Very creepy.
Keep stalking them throughout the day. They move from Ladar to Ladar. Hoovering up gas in BCs, occassionally in a Hype. Attempting to be careful, and yet innocently naieve at the same time. I find them curious. And strangely they seem to be doing exactly what I have wanted someone to do. Clear out the garbage sites. I will permit them to live for the moment. Most likely I'll kill them tomorrow.
Taxman VII: Kingdom of Vlad
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
|
Posted - 2009.03.25 08:26:00 -
[36]
Audit Log 20090321.1433 - Wake up from a quick nap in the CovOps. Hit the cloak and bleerily check the scan. Battlecruisers. Brutix and Harbie. Don't seem to be the scientists. And an Orca. NOOOOO!!! No! No! No! Must be a POS drop! And that's not fecking happening! No more POSs! Don't see any new towers on scan. Probably still scouting. Lucky break for me. Don't care how many ships I have to throw at them, but I will stop them. I swear on the Tax Code itself, NEVER another tower!
Try to narrow down the Orca. It's seperate from the BCs. Surprisingly not at the sun. Or a planet. Or moon. Or even wormhole. Probes pick him up in empty space. Warp to set bookmark. It's an alliance ship. The Excession Group. Never heard of them. But they ain't a getting a foothold here. Orca moving but not aligned to any celestial. Outpace, and set a bookmark in front of him. And then run back to grab the toughest ship we got here. The Ishtar. Against a Brutix, Harbie, and the Orca's drones. I don't forsee this being very pleasant.
Drop out of warp literally at zero. Wow. Nice bookmark on a moving target. No time to be impressed with myself though. Set the point, release the Ogres. Start checking the scanner. No banter. No negotiation. Only death. EMP and drone plasma steadily chewing thru shields. He's not releasing drones? Weird. Get it to half shields when the Brutix warps in. Crap. Now things gets ugly. Brutix targets, closes, web. Wince in anticipation of first blaster volley. Plink!... Rails? LOL! Kick the ACs into overload and pray the Harbie keeps taking it's time. Orca into armor. And then structure. Still no Harbie. Brutix still doing laughable damage. Still in structure. Guess it is a capital ship after all. Begin to wonder how the tower and ships will drop. In wreck? Deploy? Almost there. Orca detonates! Success! Point the Brutix. Close orbit and it can do nothing. Reppers fail under massive damage and neuts. Structure. And it's gone. Pod escapes, and then there is only silence. Fweh. That was a rush. Look about. No ships deployed from Orca. Check the wreck for a tower. Nope. check the killmail... Ok, so maybe it wasn't a POS drop after all. Heh. Oops.
More scans and patrols in the CovOps. Researchers are lying low. Had some Minnie and Amarr wormholes open up. Might get some trespassers. Pick up a Ruppie trying to plex Sleepers solo. Sit and watch him. Warp in. Warp out. In. Out. Annoying. Mark a wreck and his safe. Grab the Vexor to put an end to it. Warp in just as he is warping out. Damn. Swing around, warp to his safe. He's quick to react. Already aligned and warping when I come in. Feh. Well element of surprise is lost. Head back to POS when comms crackle. A challenge? Never been partial to that sort of thing, but figure what the hell. Ruppie is only one of the best Tech 1 cruisers in existence. After the Vexor of course. And if he'll face his tax crimes, I'll be willing to enforce them.
Warp to the wormhole. We light each other up immediately. He's got T2 Warriors, I'm using my full bandwidth. Take a chance and go close in. We'll duke it out with ACs. He hits hard, as expected. I hit harder. His armor crumples. And then shoots back up. Wow. Nice repping. My buffer holding. Hit him again, and again, and again. Damage stacking each time. He's down to 10% armor, and then just explodes. Never even saw the structure dent. DCU is your friend. Let the pod go. Can show some leniency for those who turn themselves in.
Taxman VII: Kingdom of Vlad
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2009.03.25 08:29:00 -
[37]
Audit Log 20090321.1433 - Continued - Food and then more enforcement. Busy night. Sleipnir and Drake on scan. Always wanted to audit a Sleip. Probe. They're together. Apparently just finished some illegal plexing. There's a fine for that you know. Guess I'll try to take them both in the Ishtar. Warp back to bookmark. And it's only the Drake. Well pooh. That was a let down. But waste not, want not. Lock and point. Calmly interrogate him over comms. "Where is the fecking Sleip? Where is it?!" He's into armor when the Sleip warps in at 20km. Cool! Finish off the Drake. We lock, Sleip closes. Now it's on! Or not. Falcon decloaks at 100km. Sigh. Sleip has web but no scram, just like I figured. Recall drones and warp out. Bloody ECM. Criminals are such cheating scum.
System appears to clear out. But must remain vigilant. Cloak and wait. And soon the Core probes start appearing. And where there's Cores, there's criminals. Hit safe, run scanner. Buzzard. At P1 uncloaked. Yeah, cuz the first planet is such a better choice over the Sun. Brilliance. Warp in at 10km and he's still there. This is it! The moment I've been waiting so long for. A real CovOps duel! Close to 3km and uncloak. The Helios in all it's glory! Kick on the AB, launch the single Hobgoblin, lock and lay on the 2point scram. No MWD for you! Orbit and wait for the first barrage of rockets. It doesn't appear. Apparently he didn't fit a launcher. Three high slots and not one used for a weapon. Pathetic. Still, it's our first audit of a CovOps with a CovOps. And the Hobgoblin dines well on both ship and pod.
Taxman VII: Kingdom of Vlad
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Jkrog
Madhatters Inc.
The Initiative.
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Posted - 2009.03.25 09:44:00 -
[38]
Good to have you back Vlad, always a fun and a blast reading your 'audits' :-)
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Kage Toshimado
Gallente
The Logistical Nightmare
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Posted - 2009.03.25 12:53:00 -
[39]
Very well written! You get to the point and keep it interesting.- which are two things that I almost require in order to read a post.
Keep up the good work tax man!
(p.s. IRL I hate the IRS, but then again... who doesn't?)
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CrimsonLobo
Caldari
Galaxy Punks
Axiom Empire
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Posted - 2009.03.25 21:11:00 -
[40]
Excellent posts, really enjoying them.
I DEMAND MOAR.
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CDLoon
Minmatar
Red Sky Morning
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Posted - 2009.03.25 23:31:00 -
[41]
Excellent writing Vlad, wanted to go bed an hour ago, but got sucked in. GL on your wormhole travels.
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Chatte Noire
Gallente
PepperPark Deep Space Operations
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Posted - 2009.03.26 07:43:00 -
[42]
Breakfast and Vlad¦s audits. No better way to start the day. Well, there are better ways.
But not today.
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2009.03.26 07:58:00 -
[43]
Audit Log 20090322.1153 - Another day, another audit. Wake up in the CovOps, immediately hit scan. Drakes! A whole bunch of them. Is there a proper term for that? Flight? Flock? Whatever. Contact the Researchers. Not affiliated. Interesting. Count comes in at 5 Drakes, Ruppie, and couple Frigs. Blowing the snot out of some Sleepers. Start observing. Wait for the inevitable mistake. The lone straggler. The incautious plexer. Or the excessive Sleeper spawn. Patience is the key. Narrow down a lone Drake playing sentry on a wormhole. Start creeping up to make a bookmark when the wormhole ripples. And ripples. And ripples. Oh, not good.
Multiple battleships, Amarr and Caldari. Commandship. A few BCs. Quickly check to make sure cloak is still active. Another ripple. An Orca... Umm, maybe it's a mining op? They all warp. P7. No. To a moon. Shiite! Bounce off a planet for a long-range warp-in. All of them there. 6 BS, 8 BC, assorted others. And there goes the POS. Double shiite. Vaguely recall something about the tax code and solemn oaths. But don't really have time to worry about that. To busy stressing. Attacking would be suicide. Can't seem to will them out of existence. Which only leaves our last resort. Negotiation.
Hail them across open comms. No response. Try again. Nothing. Maybe they're foreign? Try a wave. It hangs there lonely in the comm window. This really isn't good. Contact the lone Researcher in system. My panic is infectious and he gets equally worried. Run back to the invader's moon. POS up. Hangar, warehouse, beam lasers and scram batteries being anchored. This so sucks. Classic military strategy. Secure the beachead. Then press the assault and wipe out all potential threats. Can do that talky thing afterwards. Or at least that's how I'd do it. Run back to my tower to check defenses. Oh that's right. We don't fecking have any. Time to rectify that. I'll pimp this biatch out with Citadel Torps, GigantoBeam Lasers, Super Harderners. It'll be a goddamn deathstar! Jump into Monkey space and head to POSMart.
Return with 3 small AC batteries, a web, and scram. There's a reason they are called Faildari. Seems small Caldari Towers actually have negative PG and can't fit a damn thing. Lots of CPU for Labs? Yeah that's fecking great. I'll throw test tubes at them. Bloody hell. Start anchoring. Researchers in a tizzy. Start stoking their fears of an imminent invasion. Throw out some more hails in local. And suddenly, a response! First Contact achieved. Grab the PowerCore Crown and scepter. Lets see what kinda of whackos we are dealing with today. Open a three-way convo.
Screen flickers. Some Gallente chump with his uniform ripped halfway off. "I am... Capt J.T. Fiberton... We... mean you.. no harm. We... come in peace... We are... the Starfleet Federation..." Sigh. This couldn't possibly get any worse.
Taxman VII: Kingdom of Vlad
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Jack Gates
Gallente
GoonFleet
GoonSwarm
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Posted - 2009.03.26 08:30:00 -
[44]
As much as roleplayers in this game disturb me, I really enjoy your posts. They're pretty funny, and it kind of makes me want to **** off to a wormhole with a small amarr after Delve II is over.
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2009.03.26 09:14:00 -
[45]
Audit Log 20090322.1153 - Continued - Negotiations come to a marginally satisfying conclusion. Didn't get their unconditional surrender and forfeiture of assets. Did however, decree that all ships must bear the "#" Mark of Vlad in their ship names or be subject to my wrath. To drive the point home I scan out a random neutral Imicus and vaporize it with the Helios. And then scram the pod and hold it up for all in system to see. Before brutally instructing my Hobgobbie to tear the victim apart. If I can do this in a CovOps, imagine what I will do in a "real ship". Am delighted to see all ships on scanner bearing the Mark of Vlad.
Still, I unwillingly have yet another POS in my system. With four POSs planted, I believe this may be the most settled piece of wormhole space in existence. It's a testament to the stability and security the IRS provides. But claim-jumping trespassers aren't really what I was aiming for. Not sure how to approach the problem, but I'm sure I'll think of something.
Day passes, and I learn more of this Starfleet Federation. Dealing with Jibberton is no joy. His overly dramatic method of speaking, and inability to stay completely clothed is annoying to say least. Not to mention the constant background distractions of warpcore breaches, exploding consoles, and constant crisis that is apparently their normal routine. Fairly certain some basic preventative maintenance would solve alot of their issues. Unfortunately, I seem to have little choice but to deal solely with this Gallente kook. Their alliance operates under a Prime Directive to not speak with anyone. Ever. Mindlessly going about their business like glassy-eyed drones. I find the lack of inviduality disturbing. I may have to kill them.
To that end, jump back into Monkey space and setup a Domi. May have to use this for POS defense, so use the old Huggybear fit that served so well during station fights. Electrons, heavy armor, trimarks. Can take some punishment and deal it too. Also grab stuff for the Tower. Slight adjustments. Can drop one AC battery to add 3 Cruise Launchers. Not the most impressive damage, but better range. Plus adding some Mobile Warp Bubbles will pull in the unwary and ensure some kills.
Return and notice a Ferox on scan. Without the Mark of Vlad. Plenty of Starfleet around though. Well time to test their mettle and usefulness. Command them to attack. Jibberton simply looks at me blankly. "Why... would we want... to attack him?" I can't believe he actually said that. Do they really not understand the situation they are in? Can only shake my head. Watch and learn. You may end up seeing it more closely in the future. It's a solo Ferox, so a Vexor should be adequate. Scans show him at a wormhole. Slightly fishy. Leads to unknown space, and still haven't had a chance to check that system out. Whatever. Warp-in and engage. Take him to half shields and he jumps. Happily follow after. So nice that Concord doesn't run these things. He's already uncloaked and trying to align. But come on, it's a Ferox. Lay the point again, send in the drones. Quick scan. There's a POS, but no ships. Mmmm, wonder if this guy was my neighbor. Doesn't matter now. He's dead.
Grab the evidence and jump back. Not impressed with this Starfleet. Not impressed at all.
Taxman VII: Kingdom of Vlad
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Lord TYMAN
You're Doing It Wrong
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Posted - 2009.03.26 09:36:00 -
[46]
another bump in return for the continuing lols being provided 
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Jack Gates
Gallente
GoonFleet
GoonSwarm
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Posted - 2009.03.26 10:54:00 -
[47]
Edited by: Jack Gates on 26/03/2009 10:58:50
You should really drop the cruise launchers and autos for small laser batteries, warp scrams, ecm, and neuts, if you can. I don't know how well a small caldari POS can do in terms of fitting since no one ever uses those for deathstars.
It's impossible for anyone to drop a dread on you, seeing as how your wormhole leads to highsec, and it's extremely unlikely that anyone will have enough sniping BS to effectively do anything to you, so you don't really need any kind of range. Besides, no one uses cruise batteries.
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CrimsonLobo
Caldari
Galaxy Punks
Axiom Empire
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Posted - 2009.03.26 12:48:00 -
[48]
Oh noes what shall happen next!
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Gilad Ayn
Gallente
The Tuskers
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Posted - 2009.03.26 16:23:00 -
[49]
Welcome back, Mr. Norkoff.
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CrimsonLobo
Caldari
Galaxy Punks
Axiom Empire
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Posted - 2009.03.26 17:49:00 -
[50]
I even went back and read all the other audits.
Enjoyed lots and lots.
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Orree
Shiva
Morsus Mihi
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Posted - 2009.03.26 18:21:00 -
[51]
Hmm...just discovered this stuff though I'm certainly familiar with Mr. Norkoff. 
Good stuff, bud...fun to read. Inspiring, even.
"How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct." ---Benjamin Disraeli |
Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
|
Posted - 2009.03.27 09:13:00 -
[52]
Audit Log 20090323.0807 - Seeing as we have (or had) new neighbors, reckon may be a good idea to fully recon their system. Bound to be another wormhole in there. Only have connection to Fanaticland here. Just been Frog, Hoodiehead, and Monkey for an entire week. Would be nice to finally link to Caldari. To roll the seedy spacelanes of Mito. See the hopeless CNRs and bloated freighters. Hear the sobbing tears of criminal miners. Pfeh. Getting too sentimental. This is our home now. And need to focus on keeping it safe.
Start scanning adjacent system. Turns out POS didn't belong to the Ferox. Instead got a small group called Circle of something? Geddon, couple BCs, Rapier, and Falcons (of course). Have an Inty stationed on their side of wormhole. Mmmm, as long as they stay on their side of the fence it's all good. Besides not like I can rely on Starfleet to help. Too busy cowering in their POS, boldly going nowhere. Useless. Finish scouting out the system. Not much of interest. Typical grav sites, few ladar. Finally get another wormhole. To Minnie space. Sigh. Really wanted Caldari.
Return home to find Starfleet packing their crap. Apparently don't feel comfortable here. Not sure why, but not gonna argue the point. Notice that they let a Retriever and some frig slip into system. So utterly useless. Only one response when a ship does not bear the Mark. Handle the situation quickly and professionally with the Vexor and another public pod execution. Only makes Starfleet pack faster. Course things might get interesting when they actually try and leave. Amarr wormhole partially destablized. Sit just off in CovOps observing. Orca and half their fleet make it out before the hole collapses. Exactly what I hoped for! Except 5 BSs and a couple BCs are left. Not what I hoped for. Was aiming for only a couple battleships. Shiite. And amusingly it seems that their probers jumped out too. Ponder the situation. Even as incompetent as they are, just too many ships. Probably be best just to get them the hell out. Offer to guide them to the adjacent system and out to Minnie space. Gladly accept as if I were doing them a favor. Fools. This is for me, not you. See them on their way and am amused to hear some cries of anguish as they jump through. Apparently Monkeys don't like Amarr militants. LOL.
Back home to see what new wormholes formed. When one collapses another takes it's place within the hour. Scan it out. Find three of them! All to Minnie space. Again. Of course. Sigh. Then get a call from one of the Researchers. Apparently has a Cyclone sitting just off their tower. Well loittering is a crime. Warp in cloaked and observe. Yeah it's just sitting there staring blankly at the tower. Don't think he was made long for this world. Guns not firing on it though. Interesting. Will have to make a note of that. Cyclone finally gets bored and heads back to a wormhole. Which means it's Vexor time. Warp in at zero. Just gapes at us placidly. Must feel safe being in jump range. Hit the MWD and give a solid bump. Still feel safe biatch? Web keeps him off the hole. Drones do the rest. Tries to run his pod back to the wormhole as well. Really? Like that's going to work.
Scoop the evidence and corpse. Just another day defending justice.
Taxman VII: Kingdom of Vlad
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CrimsonLobo
Caldari
Galaxy Punks
Axiom Empire
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Posted - 2009.03.27 10:36:00 -
[53]
Yay more, however my thirst hasnt been slacked
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2009.03.28 09:45:00 -
[54]
Audit Log 20090324.1211 - Strangely slow day. Dramatic change from the chaos of the past few. Gives ample time to remap the system. More wormholes. All Amarr space. Of course. Use the opportunity to grab supplies. Finding that relying on independent haulers is probably not the best way to dispose of Sleeper artifacts. They lack any sense of market savvy. Have decided it's probably a good time to start learning Accounting. Somewhat ironic considering my career. But never really made much of a difference during audits. Criminals are always guilty. That's why they're criminals. Checking their books would simply be a waste of time.
Return and use the Huggybear Domi to destablize wormholes to critical. Finally found a use for it. Not gonna have anymore fleets and POS drops. Course it does seem to turn away visitors. And no visitors means no new potential vassals. Quite the dilemna. Sit and ponder a bit in the tower. Finding the POS seductively comforting. Safe. Powerful. Shouldn't get used to it though. Only a seedy necessity. In the tax enforcement industry we consider towers to be a "gateway crime". Starts with just the tower, and then slowly escalates into full-blown crime and tax evasion. Nothing we can't resist though. Simply get out of the POS and go on patrols.
So later found myself in the Myrm browsing thru some Trade skill manuals and absently shooting Sleepers. Gotta keep the riff-raff down after all. Not too mention it was a pretty damn dull day. Running occasional scans, when another Myrm suddenly warps into the site. Things immediately get more interesting! In a bad way. Always have a point fitted, but criminals generally run in packs. He comes in 100km off. Had already finished off the Sleepers, so no worries there. And no other contacts on scan. Align and wait. Nothing. Mirror image ships just staring at each other. Looks somewhat familiar but can't place him. Then he turns and leaves. Odd. Wait for a re-warp or an uncloak. Still nothing. Very strange. Head back and grab the CovOps.
Researchers notice the Myrm and strike up a convo over public comms. Run some probes. Seems a nice enough guy. Somehow trapped in system and can't find a way out. Affable, pretty cool, good can-do attitude. Like him. Except his ship does not bear The Mark. Bookmark and return in the Vexor. Point, web, and demand why he is in MY system. Seems confused. Then shockingly starts firing on me! (Researchers later claimed it was a perfectly reasonable response for most people. I think they're idiots.) Immediately let loose with the ACs and drones. He launches drones as well, max damage setup too. Oh, this might be bad. Get into close orbit. Webbed myself so his rails still hitting. Crap. Our buffer getting chewed down. And he's dual-repping. Double crap. Still, we're full in, no backing down now. Overheat the ACs and neut. Starts making a difference. Down to quarter armor when his tank breaks. Start punching into his hull while his drones keep chewing away. Myrm detonates when I'm down to 12% armor. Geez, closest audit in awhile. Acknowledge his skill by pointing the pod. Skillful criminals are dangerous after all. Plus he needs a way home.
Taxman VII: Kingdom of Vlad
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SanZo Fengi
Maximum Yarrage
Band of Bastards.
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Posted - 2009.03.28 10:02:00 -
[55]
 Originally by: Vladimir Norkoff
Plus he needs a way home.
Hey Vlad u might start selling "tickets" home to keep yourself amused.
Just keep the pod webbed and pointed 
See how long it takes for them to pay up...
Anyway it's always nice to read about your audits.
-SanZo- |
CrimsonLobo
Caldari
Galaxy Punks
Axiom Empire
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Posted - 2009.03.28 11:46:00 -
[56]
Vlad makes me happy.
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2009.03.28 17:03:00 -
[57]
Audit Log 20090325.1734 - Wake up in the CovOps and hit scan. Can't believe it. Criminals already! Abbadon and a Golem. Narrow and looks like they're at a wormhole. Warp in, there they are. Sitting about 20km off. Not moving. Yeah that's smart. Still, a BS and a Marauder? And an Abaddon at that. I so hate Amarr ships. Will be rough. The kind of job that calls for... Huggybear! Grab the Domi and warp on the hole at zero.
Decision time. Abaddon or Golem? Database showed the Abaddon pilot favors beam/pulse mix. No entries for the Golem. Probably cruise and a decent tank. Golem is the glory audit. Abaddon is high-damage, godly tank, but can abuse his tracking. Choices...
Hold off on locking, but slam the MWD right at them. Heavily armored Domi ain't exactly the quickest ship out there. They just sit and stare like dumb placid herd animals. It's the kind of stuff you usually only see on nature shows. Lock at 10km. Point and web the Abaddon. T2 Ogres and start laying in with the Electrons. Take some laser hits before orbit settles. Hurts as much as I thought. Abaddon was definitely the right choice. Drones swarming all over, mine and theirs. But ours do a hell of alot more damage. Taking some hard hits myself, though. Energy waves on visuals. Smarties? Check drones. Nope, it's a Torp Golem. Not good. Overheat the guns and tank. Need to finish this Abaddon quick. Blasters hit hard and fast. Cap holding well with dual injectors. Abaddon dropping, it's repping but can't keep up. Own tank holding but burning up. Risk more heat. Just hang in there baby. Pulling 1/3 armor when Abaddon breaks into hull. Got you now biatches! Then flameout. Kinetic hardener gone! Oh shiite. Damage skyrockets! Bane torps. Ouch. Abaddon half hull. Own repper still active, clawing some armor back. Falling past quarter when Abaddon explodes. Finally. Turn towards Golem. Outside scram and web range. Grit teeth and hit MWD. This is gonna hurt... It does. Bad. 10% armor as Ogres and Blasters start taking chunks out of the Golem. Closing into scram range. He's aligning. Moment of truth.
Golem warps. Finger still over the scram. Had the range, but let it go. Couldn't take it without the Hardener. Watch half a billion in fines or evidence fly away. Hate that. But at least we keep the Abaddon's. And our own.
Taxman VII: Kingdom of Vlad
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Cruciere Ram
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Posted - 2009.03.28 17:12:00 -
[58]
Just a thanks for the awesome stories. I've finally read them all, and I eagerly await the next installment
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Jack Kardaver
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Posted - 2009.03.30 14:39:00 -
[59]
I miss your posts. Hope you do well.
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Arorae
Gallente
Center for Advanced Studies
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Posted - 2009.03.30 15:22:00 -
[60]
Hope to see your kingdom expand and grow so you can take the Auditing to the real criminals behind it all, with a kingdom at your back no one could stop you getting to them!
Keep it up Vlad I greatly enjoy your series
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