Today, the indefinite Hulkageddon was announced. It's a pretty good deal - kill ten exhumers and get 100M ISK. An enterprising ganker could make quite a good deal of money doing this.

And the wailing and gnashing of teeth rises from the carebear community. "Why?" they ask.

I'll tell you why.

Goonswarm is a militaristic empire. There have been many such empires in recent times, and there are a few in existence in the modern world. All of these militaristic empires have one thing in common, and Goonswarm, while a virtual empire, is no exception. The need for a common enemy.

When Goonswarm was new in EVE, it had an enemy - the infamous Band of Brothers. The fight to overwhelm this massive metagaming alliance caused Goonswarm to become a tougher, meaner, more unified fighting force. In order to shore up its support, Goonswarm used James 315 as the primary author of anti-BoB forum postings. Of course, as a game, they enjoyed dismantling BoB very much. For a while, the struggle continued, until Goonswarm finally overcame their enemy.

Then, they needed a new enemy. After a few campaigns, conquests, and victories, Goonswarm managed to secure its position in the Technetium-rich northern regions. This is the situation we find the universe in now. No major power is left that would be worth fighting for Goonswarm.

This is when militaristic empires begin to crumble.

Therefore, a new enemy was needed. A new cause had to be taken up. A new crusade had to be called.

Goonswarm had a nice run with the Gallente ice interdiction, but it was far too minor to last for long. Something more drastic had to be thought up.

Goonswarm's great cheerleader, James 315, answered the call yet again. And so he began writing his 'manifestos'.

With vitriol reminiscent of a 1930s dictator, James 315 singled out the so-called 'cancer of EVE' - the hisec carebear. Specifically, miners. Whether they were bots or not, it did not matter. The enemy had been declared.

And so we find ourselves in the current situation. Goonswarm and its allies have declared all-out war against hisec. Not necessarily because they're a bunch of neckbeards and jerks, but for a two-cold practical reason. Goonswarm profits economically, and Goonswarm manages to keep its militaristic empire together.

This is why Goonswarm has declared war against hisec carebears.

And for all you short-attention span kids:

• Goonswarm is a militaristic empire. Militaristic empires need someone to fight or they will decay.
• Goonswarm had defeated their old enemies and had no major enemies to fight.
• Hisec was as big an enemy as could possibly be imagined.
• There are also economic incentives for this assault on hisec.

Yep. That's about it, just like The Mittani said. We gotta keep from being bored, and that means STRIPPERS.

I fixed your spelling error.

You sure can spread it thick. I'm so impressed with how thick you managed to spread it, despite the odor.

This is the best thread ever

So the Goons are space N-a-z-i-s

and Miners are space Jews


Killing hulks works for two reasons

1. They do it for ***** and Giggles

2. Its open to anyone not just Goons.

why

Because Hulks need a lot of Tech to build which is why whenever a Hulk is destroyed they make a lot of isk,

Because Hulks need a lot of Tech to build which is why whenever a Hulk is destroyed they make a lot of isk,

This is the best thread ever

So the Goons are space Americans

and Miners are space Arabs

This is the best thread ever

So the Goons are space N-a-z-i-s

and Miners are space Jews


Killing hulks works for two reasons

1. They do it for ***** and Giggles

2. Its open to anyone not just Goons.

why

Because Hulks need a lot of Tech to build which is why whenever a Hulk is destroyed they make a lot of isk,

So the Goons are space N-a-z-i-s

Truth stinks.

No wonder they got themselves banned from most other MMO s maybe it is time CCP does the same before they finaly manage to kil EVE they only less than 4% of the players base Better to lose them than 50% of your subscriptions
But then again that idiotic moron mitty guy still has a grudge against ccp

Goonswarm needs Hulkageddon so the forums can continue to be nothing but threads about them.

It was getting somewhat spartan of "Goons are Mean" and "Mittani is literally ******" (lies, that's Solo Drakban), wasn't it?

For what it's worth, we'd be doing this anyway even if it wasn't a profitable scheme. The fact that Hulks depend on Technetium for their construction takes a backseat to the fact that it's cheap as hell for us to offer the bounty, and that we need things to burn ISK on anyway.

Technetium was beginning to take its summer dive and you have a cartel to upkeep.

It's kind of logic and somewhat predictable (in the boring way) to see a campaign made to return Technetium prices up.

Little evidence being that you only subsidize T2 ship kills, aka the ones using Tech.