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A Short Treatise on the Religious History and Practices of Goonswarm

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Devilish Ledoux Caldari GoonFleet GoonSwarm	Posted - 2009.09.09 04:04:00 - [1] As a recent convert to the Faith, I feel that it is my duty to educate you, the infidel, on the beliefs and practices of the Goon. My goal is to educate the ignorant, to enlighten the misguided and to convert the willing. May God bless you and grant you the ability to comprehend the meaning behind my meager efforts. History Our faith, like many other marginalized religions, has its roots in a once-large sect of the Amarrian faith. At one time, its followers lived in relative harmony with the adherents to what is now Amarrian Orthodox. They also preached that human kind must live in harmony with the cosmos itself. Unlike the Orthodox Amarrian religion, it was a religion of peace and tolerance; a religion in which all beings were equal in the eyes of God. However, as the influence of the religion that became Amarrian Orthodox grew, its leaders came to see all other faiths as a threat to its supremacy. The Crusade was as inevitable as it was brutal. The Amarrian Orthodoxy crushed its rival to the point where virtually no one even remembers its name. (For the sake of simplicity, I will refer to it as the Old Faith.) However, they did not eradicate it entirely. Like faintly glowing embers, the Old Faith needed only a breath of fresh air to explode into a raging inferno. That breath was provided by the Prophet Karttoon, now Grand Sheikh of Goonswarm, Sword of Divine Fury, Scourge of the Infidel. The biography of the man now known as Karttoon is shrouded in mystery. What is known is that he was spent nearly two years as a religious scholar in the Royal Amarr Institute. While outwardly, he appeared to be every inch the Orthodox Amarrian, in his soul, he knew that his allegiance lay elsewhere. One fateful day, God Himself spoke to him. The Almighty's message was both simple and powerful: "That which cannot be tolerated must not be tolerated." This simple revelation let the Prophet Karttoon to the inevitable conclusion that the Old Faith was flawed in that it attempted to tolerate the intolerable. It was this contradiction that left it open to near-destruction at the hands of the Amarrian Orthodoxy and it was this weakness that the Prophet Karttoon resolved to eradicate. No more would the Old Faith (henceforward known only as the Faith) bend to the will of the monstrous. Instead, the Faith would bend the monstrous to its will by any means necessary. _
Devilish Ledoux Caldari GoonFleet GoonSwarm	Posted - 2009.09.09 04:10:00 - [2] Beliefs and Practices (Core Tenets) At the core of our religion is the belief that God, that Divinity Itself, is in every asteroid, every moon, every world. We believe that every asteroid, given time, will form itself into a new world. We believe that every moon will one day support life. We believe that every world longs to live in the warm embrace of the Almighty. However, under the name of "Science" and "Heavy Industry," unbelievers (commonly referred to as "infidels") who care nothing of the sanctity of the environment are hard at work unraveling God's perfect plan. The Prophet Karttoon saw this and, as his power and influence grew with the aid of God Almighty, he began a never-ending struggle to preserve a universe in God's image. Sects and Cults Like many newly-reformed religions, the Faith has several sects and cults. All of these follow the teachings of the Prophet Karttoon. However, different sects and cults have different traditions and forms of worship. This is allowed and encouraged, as the Almighty (through his Most High Prophet) tells us that the expression of one's Faith is nothing in the face of the Faith itself. As these subgroups are numerous, with new groups appearing, changing, merging and fading away nearly every day, I will not attempt to document them at this time. All subgroups of the Faith adhere to the core beliefs and principles without question, as any true adherent of the Faith is incapable of seeing any other path to righteousness. That is enough for now. I do not wish to flood the eyes of the unenlightened so much that they are made blind. Consider my words, infidel, and pray to the God Almighty that your sins may be forgiven and that you may one day walk the path of the righteous. Peace be unto you. Aloha Akbar.
Jakiin	Posted - 2009.09.09 04:17:00 - [3] So in other words, Goonswarm is a prime example of why when purging a heretical religion, you must purge it properly.
Trish Red	Posted - 2009.09.09 13:56:00 - [4] Quote: At the core of our religion is the belief that God, that Divinity Itself, is in every asteroid, every moon, every world. We believe that every asteroid, given time, will form itself into a new world. This means that the miners are not only infidels, but also the greatest enemy of your goonish faith?
Zarithas Caldari GoonFleet GoonSwarm	Posted - 2009.09.09 15:30:00 - [5] Edited by: Zarithas on 09/09/2009 15:30:28 Originally by: Trish Red Quote: At the core of our religion is the belief that God, that Divinity Itself, is in every asteroid, every moon, every world. We believe that every asteroid, given time, will form itself into a new world. This means that the miners are not only infidels, but also the greatest enemy of your goonish faith? This is correct. The grave sin of ultra-capitalistic asteroid defilement, and its refinement and production into yet more unclean mining ships all to continue degrading Allah's holy creations is the most evil cycle. There is no greater enemy.
Jiai Shou Gallente University of Caille	Posted - 2009.09.09 15:48:00 - [6] *Goons*? What are this "Goons" you speak of? Perhaps a new mouthwash? Jiai
Swearte Widfarend Gallente Aurora Security Vanguard.	Posted - 2009.09.09 16:22:00 - [7] Questions. If mining and refinement are the source of your enmity, isn't buying and flying ships made from that mining and refinement your own support of this "heresy?" So you are, by purchasing, building, and flying ships helping to support those who mine the asteroids. Should you not simply stop purchasing, building and flying ships? After all, the infidel miner only does this to make money, and the money is only made because others buy the minerals and ores to make ships. So if you stop buying, building, and flying ships you actually bring down the miner and industrialist in the most painful way - by destroying their income.
Sippin Syzzzurp GoonFleet	Posted - 2009.09.09 17:10:00 - [8] By using the ships built from the tainted materials, we die in glorious battle cleansing the belts of infidels, saving the sacred asteroids, and returning the minerals used in the construction of our vests of cleansing to the belts from whence they came. Only by death at the hands of CONCORD, whilst covered in the blood and debris from the ships of mining infidels, can these once holy minerals and compounds be cleansed from the taint forced upon them by the evils of Heavy Industry. Aloha Akbar.
Vendrin Caldari Veto.	Posted - 2009.09.09 17:21:00 - [9] Really Mr. Ledoux? Goonswarm? It seems such a step down for you. _______________________________
Sebastien Starstrider Minmatar Ship Construction Services Ushra'Khan	Posted - 2009.09.09 18:21:00 - [10] I, for one, would love to see a CVA response to this. Normally they tend to frequent these sorts of religious postings and the like, and are unforgiving with their harsh words. I'd certainly like to see how they react now.
Bagehi Association of Commonwealth Enterprises Gentlemen's Club	Posted - 2009.09.09 19:40:00 - [11] Death to the infidels.
Devilish Ledoux Caldari GoonFleet GoonSwarm	Posted - 2009.09.09 20:12:00 - [12] Originally by: Swearte Widfarend Questions. If mining and refinement are the source of your enmity, isn't buying and flying ships made from that mining and refinement your own support of this "heresy?" So you are, by purchasing, building, and flying ships helping to support those who mine the asteroids. Should you not simply stop purchasing, building and flying ships? After all, the infidel miner only does this to make money, and the money is only made because others buy the minerals and ores to make ships. So if you stop buying, building, and flying ships you actually bring down the miner and industrialist in the most painful way - by destroying their income. Like any environmentally responsible organization, we recycle. In addition, we use confiscated minerals and equipment and repurpose them. Why, the minerals that go into a single Judgement Doomsday Device alone can be repurposed to make dozens of frigates.
Zarithas Caldari GoonFleet GoonSwarm	Posted - 2009.09.09 21:40:00 - [13] Edited by: Zarithas on 09/09/2009 21:42:33 Edited by: Zarithas on 09/09/2009 21:42:06 Originally by: Swearte Widfarend Questions. If mining and refinement are the source of your enmity, isn't buying and flying ships made from that mining and refinement your own support of this "heresy?" So you are, by purchasing, building, and flying ships helping to support those who mine the asteroids. Should you not simply stop purchasing, building and flying ships? After all, the infidel miner only does this to make money, and the money is only made because others buy the minerals and ores to make ships. So if you stop buying, building, and flying ships you actually bring down the miner and industrialist in the most painful way - by destroying their income. Ah, unenlightened one, see how your lack of faith has blinded you so. The only way to stop this is by force, not "peaceful protest" or "boycott." Even if it means using the very tools that are made of the desecrated holy rock formations themselves, it is not difficult to reconcile one's faith in this manner when all spacecraft and modules are consecrated and cleansed by an Imam before they are given to a loyal believer. Also, the very holy nature of the rocks themselves would be made moot if they were harvested and stripped then cast aside or thrown away? Allah believes in respect for nature and all of its creations, and wastefulness is condemned. All JihadSwarm weapons and materials are recycled as well.
Isaac Starstriker Amarr Smegnet Incorporated Libertas Fidelitas	Posted - 2009.09.10 00:24:00 - [14] Originally by: Sebastien Starstrider I, for one, would love to see a CVA response to this. Normally they tend to frequent these sorts of religious postings and the like, and are unforgiving with their harsh words. I'd certainly like to see how they react now. coughs slightly... Although I fly with CVA, I highly doubt they'll respond to a threat that really has no effect on us. Have fun GS (JS?). --Isaac Isaac's Haul*Mart - Closed
May Zonday GoonFleet GoonSwarm	Posted - 2009.09.10 00:37:00 - [15] Oh great imams! Tell me how I a lowly bee can help you in your holy Jihad! I am but a dumb moron and cannot follow simple instructions!
Tracy Panavia	Posted - 2009.09.10 01:38:00 - [16] Edited by: Tracy Panavia on 10/09/2009 01:39:12 ohgod
Ahistaja GoonFleet GoonSwarm	Posted - 2009.09.10 01:45:00 - [17] Originally by: Tracy Panavia Edited by: Tracy Panavia on 10/09/2009 01:39:12 ohgod damn right dude
Sumerio Rayej Intaki Liberation Front	Posted - 2009.09.10 03:25:00 - [18] Oh, cool. So Goon space must be filled with giant, fat asteroids that they wouldn't dare defile to build their own ships. Probably explains why they have hardly any capital ships. They probably don't do any moon mining, either, since that would defile the lovely moons that might otherwise be allowed to grow into life supporting planets. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- View the Intaki Homeworld Webcam at www.ilfcorp.com
Devilish Ledoux Caldari GoonFleet GoonSwarm	Posted - 2009.09.10 04:27:00 - [19] Originally by: Sumerio Rayej Edited by: Sumerio Rayej on 10/09/2009 04:10:20 Oh, cool. So Goon space must be filled with giant, fat asteroids that they wouldn't dare defile to build their own ships. Probably explains why they have hardly any capital ships. They probably don't do any moon mining, either, since that would defile the lovely moons that might otherwise be allowed to grow into life supporting planets. (I'm with Vendrin, Devilish. Goons seems a step down. You were a damn sexy pirate.) In order, "yes," "hahaha," "delve is kosher" and "were?"
Meau Fatal Furballs	Posted - 2009.09.10 07:55:00 - [20] So. Tree huggers. Im mildly amused.
Able Citizen Gallente Fallen Angel's Blade.	Posted - 2009.09.10 11:35:00 - [21] Originally by: Vendrin Really Mr. Ledoux? Goonswarm? It seems such a step down for you. I concur.
Janice Jankowski	Posted - 2009.09.10 13:27:00 - [22] What is the position of the great swarm regarding secured containers in their holy systems?
zoolkhan Minmatar Mirkur Draug'Tyr Ushra'Khan	Posted - 2009.09.10 13:30:00 - [23] Originally by: Vendrin Really Mr. Ledoux? Goonswarm? It seems such a step down for you. a step down for anyone tbh.
Tyzzara Stimulus Rote Kapelle	Posted - 2009.09.10 14:40:00 - [24] Devilish writing something that refers to, mentions and almost focuses on religion!?! Of any sort!?! Yeah...tread lightly or you might be pulled into something that is far more than you bargained for. Devilish is the devil. Hence the name.
Invelious Amarr Deus Imperiosus Acies	Posted - 2009.09.10 15:41:00 - [25] Goonswarm still mines the belts and moons they own in Delve and elsewhere, prehaps you need to conduct a internal inquisition and cleanse your alliance of the infidels, before coming out to the general public and announcing your faith while looking like a hypocrate at the same time.
Weaselior GoonFleet GoonSwarm	Posted - 2009.09.10 17:50:00 - [26] Originally by: Invelious Goonswarm still mines the belts and moons they own in Delve and elsewhere, prehaps you need to conduct a internal inquisition and cleanse your alliance of the infidels, before coming out to the general public and announcing your faith while looking like a hypocrate at the same time. Have you sacrificed one ship to purge the belts of infidels? Have you sacrificed one second to listen to the words of Kartoon? Have you fired one shot to purge the moons of abominations? Be silent here until you have some knowledge of what you speak of, infidel. It is for you to obey, not question. Sig removed, inappropriate content - Mitnal
Jakiin	Posted - 2009.09.11 00:15:00 - [27] Originally by: Weaselior Have you sacrificed one ship to purge the belts of infidels? Have you sacrificed one second to listen to the words of Kartoon? Have you fired one shot to purge the moons of abominations? Be silent here until you have some knowledge of what you speak of, infidel. It is for you to obey, not question. I think this is a classic example of why we need to remind some of our preachers that while praising the Lord is good, telling everyone who has yet to be converted that they are worthless s****is not going to garner the Faith any rewards.
Drago Palermus Gallente Tulsa Tube Bending GoonSwarm	Posted - 2009.09.11 15:55:00 - [28] Originally by: Meau So. Tree huggers. Im mildly amused. We ensure that all of our crusades are certified "green"
FireT Gallente As Far As The eYe can see	Posted - 2009.09.11 16:24:00 - [29] I give this topic a 6/10 mainly because it has a religiously stupid excuse for griefing.
edeity Holy Amarrian Battlemonk	Posted - 2009.09.13 11:48:00 - [30] I am deeply interested in this topic, however must ask for credentials and reference. I do wish to understand more on the Goon but as is known from common experience, words and meaning itself serves a different purpose when crafted by a Goon. You come here obviously to engage in discussion. If so, please provide some proof or evidence of the dogmatic authority of your views on the religion of Goon. I would like to take you at face value but alas experience points otherwise. My stated purpose in life is the conversion of souls to the Amarrian faith, and to make this a truly recognised religion across all space and all time. Truth is eternal and omnipresent. Further discourse on this subject if genuinely of interest to you is welcome. There may yet be common ground to explore.
Ahistaja GoonFleet GoonSwarm	Posted - 2009.09.15 22:01:00 - [31] Edited by: Ahistaja on 15/09/2009 22:01:49 Originally by: edeity I am deeply interested in this topic, however must ask for credentials and reference. I do wish to understand more on the Goon but as is known from common experience, words and meaning itself serves a different purpose when crafted by a Goon. You come here obviously to engage in discussion. If so, please provide some proof or evidence of the dogmatic authority of your views on the religion of Goon. I would like to take you at face value but alas experience points otherwise. My stated purpose in life is the conversion of souls to the Amarrian faith, and to make this a truly recognised religion across all space and all time. Truth is eternal and omnipresent. Further discourse on this subject if genuinely of interest to you is welcome. There may yet be common ground to explore. The dogmatic authority of Jihadism is the divine revelation of the Prophet Karttoon (pbuh). Further proof is neither required nor necessary; the faithful see the excellence of Jihadism's divine works and the lamentations of the infidels and are contented. There is only one god and Karttoon is his Prophet. Aloha Akhbar.
Lindsay Logan	Posted - 2009.09.16 13:17:00 - [32] Edited by: Lindsay Logan on 16/09/2009 13:17:38 Originally by: Zarithas Edited by: Zarithas on 09/09/2009 15:30:28 Originally by: Trish Red Quote: At the core of our religion is the belief that God, that Divinity Itself, is in every asteroid, every moon, every world. We believe that every asteroid, given time, will form itself into a new world. This means that the miners are not only infidels, but also the greatest enemy of your goonish faith? This is correct. The grave sin of ultra-capitalistic asteroid defilement, and its refinement and production into yet more unclean mining ships all to continue degrading Allah's holy creations is the most evil cycle. There is no greater enemy. Why not start by restoring the sanctity of goon's dyspro moons? Those moons are quite holy as well. Just asking.
Cancer Face Merch Industrial GoonSwarm	Posted - 2009.09.16 13:53:00 - [33] They are sacred indeed. They are orbited by Karttoon's Sacred Orbital Mosques.
Poonetch	Posted - 2009.10.01 07:20:00 - [34] Sweet, goonswarm is giving up mining. Conract all your infidel tools of defilation to me at 1 isk per and i will gladly help you with your hypocritcal cruisade. Hulks and Mackinaws first plz. Also include bpo's of those tools of infidel defilation. Then proceed to remove all your towers and jumpgates since those run off ice products that are also MINED and move to drone space where you can mine with guns. This also means get rid of all jumpfreighters, dreds, carriers, motherships and titans since you will no longer need them to purge high sec and park them at towers also reducing the need for ice products. No more seige mode plz, Fly through the exsiting gates. For all those cap ship bpo'S i am willing to put up 2 isk per as compensation in aiding you with your cruisade. I agree with you completely on this yippy yiii yay to the faith Lets see how true you are to your faitful words of wisedom. or possibly Is this a guise to roleplay and greif the commoners of empire space so you can justify being common greifing lowlife pirates that chose to target the weak for profit.
Mihali Gallente	Posted - 2009.10.02 12:29:00 - [35] Dear Goonswarm, I'm mining the heck out of these asteroids right now & you can't do nothing about it. Oh, is that Mercoxit. Oh yes! Stop messing with my slack, pinko. Praise Bob!
Goa'Tnigoe	Posted - 2009.10.02 18:31:00 - [36] Originally by: Devilish Ledoux Beliefs and Practices (Core Tenets) We believe that every world longs to live in the warm embrace of the Almighty. No Almighty [pick your preference] seems to have been able to create their perfect universe. They're Almighty, they just need some bruisers to do the dirty work for them. They -could- do it in the blink of an eye, they just so happen to be in a staring contest with the god in the other universe. I think it's an outsourcing thing. Or: the Almighty is Almighty, he just can't be bothered. "And on the 6th day, Gawd said "Whatever"and gave it a rest". This leads to a farce called Jihadswarm and the head blue pill snorter finding their own bovine excrement rationale for being the terminally tiresome "Wha, dunno dude. I'm bored, wanna shoot some miners, just fer lulz?"
Good Fellow	Posted - 2009.10.03 04:23:00 - [37] Your faith is flawed, as is Karttoon. You do not lead by example, nor do you practice what you preach. Cleanse yourselves before striving to provide JUSTICE to the masses. Your current path is one of JUST-US and it makes you the infidel in the eyes of the allmighty. Karttoons delusions of the rightous path are the product of excessive use of booster drugs and the feeling of invulnerability after having run out of targets to blob. Repent you sins lest you become the new BOB!!!
jack morrigan	Posted - 2009.10.05 12:56:00 - [38] Fools do you not know that religion is nothing but a tool designed by those who desire power and wealth. It's sole purpose is to control the minds and actions of others, by promising bliss and rewards in the after life, in exchange for a life of hardship and suffering in this one, and all you will get for your loyalty is a cold and lonely grave.
Jaggath	Posted - 2009.10.06 01:08:00 - [39] The pursuit of religious goals and crusades has only ever ended in an increase of needless bloodshed. It is the curse of those who shackle themselve to a supposed Authority higher then man. I look out in to the cold empty of space and I see.... nothing. There is no divine authority. Your Prophet Karttoon has fabricated your deity in the pursuit of his own personal power, and you have bought wholey in to his lies. Nothing makes slaves better then religion it seems. But even going further, what does this religion promise us? We are the immortal gods of space, our life extended in to the millenia. What is the reason to shackle one's self to a deity if the rewards of the afterlife will never truely come. You are fools following the teachings of a crafty con man, no different then the fools who have their accounts emptied by those they trusted. Though I suspect this is just one more excuse for the sickening orginazation known as the Goons to justify their rampent piracy.
James Marlow	Posted - 2009.10.06 22:26:00 - [40] Everything else aside, Ledoux and the rest of his cronies sound like a bunch of buffoons, peppering their declarations with words like "Allah" and "Jihad". Those two terms mean "God" and "Struggle" in Arabic, and to randomly switch to another language after using English makes no sense at all. What, are you trying to imply Goons are like the extremely stereotypical Muslims the media portrays? It sure sounds like that, especially since you use the term "Mosque", which is a term used SPECIFICALLY FOR ISLAM. Okay, so you're putting up a front of being some fanatical terrorist organization, or something along those lines, and you're inadvertently blasting Muslims as a result. Good job, Ledoux, you're a *****.
Jinmei Nakasumi	Posted - 2009.11.02 23:22:00 - [41] Goonswarm 'used' to mean something. now its nothing more then a big fat retarted joke.
Mad Murgan	Posted - 2009.11.03 03:32:00 - [42] Edited by: Mad Murgan on 03/11/2009 03:34:20 Upon hearing your words and pondering them I am forced to only one conclusion. The average member of goonswarm is not only terminally psychotic and in serious need of purification but also of below average intellect. So after much thought I must give this vulger and completely tasteless reponse to your heretical staements Mr devlish ledoux. He-hem.... <insert explitive> goonswarm with a chainsaw sideways. With that having been said I feel the need to apologise to everyone not associated with goonswarm especially any ranking members of the faith present. It is hard to listen to such heresy and not resort to unsactioned violence aginst the fools spewing it. Do have a wonderfull day. Loyal to God, Empress and Empire.
Titus Balls	Posted - 2009.11.03 23:06:00 - [43] Having nearly been suckered into the cult known as 'The Faith', I can gladly say I came to my senses at the last moment. I have always been a man of science and free will - but I was going through a hard time. My brother had been taken as a slave while out on a mining op. I had turned to drinking and had a Crash addiction. One day, in Rens, I had befriended one of their 'outreach program' guys. He was a nice guy and I used to see him around the bar I usually hung out on. One night where I got wasted, he helped me out and took me to sober up. We chatted away about how he went through a similar thing when his wife died but that the faith helped him. After chatting for a few hours he pulled out this book about Karttoon and how he started 'The Faith' - and them blam, the sales pitch started. Seriously, the guy was freaky. His eyes changed and wanted me to pay him 1m ISK to come to some retreat where I could learn all about the faith. Luckly I was pulled away by a mechanic that was working on my ship in the station (I took it out drunk and ended up bashing it against some asteroids). He told me that these guys this guy have been for a couple of months now here taking people to Delve to their 'retreat'. Turned out they were basically locking you into some "everlasting contract" where you sign you're soul away for 5 billion years and you have to fight for them. I laughed. But after looking up stuff about them I hear the rumors are true. Then luckly I met an old friend who I mined with a few years back and he was on the way down to Catch - he had heard about my brother, having worked with us both, and persuaded me to come down and check out the space. My brother may have been freed already and living and fighing with U'K. Unfortunatly he wasn't, and I haven't found him yet. But after meeting some great folk I decided to stay down here and help the U'K cause in the hope of freeing my brother.
Sepherim Amarr Ordo Quaesitoris Ordo Magna	Posted - 2009.11.04 01:25:00 - [44] Isn't the universe ironic! http://z10.invisionfree.com/Ordo_quaesitorisOrdo Quaesitoris

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