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Teras Menac
Gallente
Tarantula LLC
The Ancients.
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Posted - 2009.09.09 20:58:00 -
[1]
Tarantula LLC's Awe-Inspiringly Retarded Phinancials
A lottery to bailout Eve Bank.
So everyone knows what a numpty Ricdic was single-handedly tanking Eve Bank by stealing more than half a trillion isk. For you nubs that's 2,000,000 Rifters. For you non-nubs that's 333 Rorquals give or take.
Now, I know what you are asking. Who the hell is this guy and why should I give him any money? This could be a scam, you know, like banks in Eve Online.
Well I can assure you with 100% certainty that this IS a scam. But to allay your fears I will explain how it works.
1)You give me 2M isk.
2)That buys you a lottery ticket.
3)There is no limit on lottery tickets that an individual may hold.
4)There are 1,000,000 lottery tickets to be had.
5)That's right, I am trying to raise 2T isk.
Here is my plan. I collect your money, I put it in a single wallet and I do not touch it at all until it is time to pay out. What would keep me from ripping you off you ask? Nothing. I could rip you off at any time. If you are not doing it for the lulz like I am, you probably shouldn't buy a ticket. I will however promise you that I will pay out, I will not rip you off. I am staking my entire reputation on this lottery. If I screw you then people will know and I won't be able to get investment in the future. I believe that with trust I can get billions of isk over time, so it's not worth it to rip you off. In short I do not intend to kill the goose that lays the golden egg. The value of being the man who gave away 1.8T isk is worth more to me than 1.8T isk. I will be satisfied with 200B isk.
When does payout occur? When I sell all 1,000,000 tickets, or October 9, 2009. That's 09.10.09 for those of you on the wrong side of the Atlantic who write dates incorrectly. It's 10.9.09 for everyone else.
What do I win? You win nothing less than half of the take, minus my 10% graft fee, the remainder going to Eve Bank. That's the explanation for the innumerate, now for the explanation for the illiterate. 900B û Eve Bank, 900B û The Winner, 200B û Me. Yes, I intend to make a profit off of this. Why would I run a scam otherwise?
How is the lottery adjudicated? Your name will go into a spreadsheet along with the weight of your ticket purchases which will be parsed by a program that will be set to randomize with the input of an integer that will then choose one of the winning tickets. The output will be 1/1,000,000 if the serial number of one of the tickets that you own is output you win 900B.
If I am not able to raise 2T isk within the time-frame there is an expiration date as mentioned above at which point I will run the lottery and you will win 45% of however many tickets I actually sold. The same rules apply, 45% goes to Eve Bank, 10% goes to me.
I am not affiliated with Eve Bank in any way, I did not consult them for this and I do not know how they will feel about this. Regardless I will attempt to make a payout.
How do you collect? I will send you a message with the amount you have won. You will go buy something cool on the market and create a public item exchange in Dodixie for that something cool and set the price at the exact amount of your winnings, or less if you prefer, I will happily take on the burden of keeping any money you do not wish to take possession of. This is also how Eve Bank will collect. Remember something cool, a faction mod or a T2 ship will do. I fly Gallente. Remember, don't be cheap if you are taking possession of 900B isk you should give a gift as though you are royalty bestowing favors. However, even if you choose to give me something not fit for royalty, I still like Gistii B-Type Afterburners and such, and I will still payout.
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Sauleus Menac
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Posted - 2009.09.09 21:01:00 -
[2]
Bonus prizes. If I make my goal of 2T isk I will give out no less than 50 Faction and T2 Battleships at my own expense. These will be paid for from my 10%. One bonus ship will be added every 50B isk raised. If I do not raise 50B isk there will be no bonus ships.
At the end of time period, I will release the spreadsheet and the source code of the software used to adjudicate so that others can run it. The first person to input a number between 1-77 in the announcement thread will place the input seed number. This should result in the same outcome from the spreadsheet and program regardless who runs it.
Why am I doing this? Because I think it's funny and I would like to help the investors of Eve Bank and because I think that the experiment that is Eve Bank is a worthwhile endeavor. Also because if it works I will make a lot of money.
On to the immediately relevant details.
Tarantula LLC has two members, they are both my toons. Teras Menac is the CEO and Sauleus Menac is the Lottery Coordinator. Send your isk to Sauleus Menac not Teras. Send actual communication to Teras Menac, not Sauleus. I actually play the game with Teras and am more likely to be logged in to get your message. I do not play with Sauleus, therefore your isk will not get mixed up with his.
You have no reason to trust me, but I am going for Chribba, not Ricdic.
Ray McCormack: I hope you don't mind, but I do intend to give you money, if you do not take it I will seek a way to disperse it in some other entertaining fashion.
*Yes I was high when I came up with this.
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Mugster
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Posted - 2009.09.09 21:07:00 -
[3]
good luck
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Paul Clavet
Suddenly Ninjas
Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
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Posted - 2009.09.09 21:25:00 -
[4]
 Quote:
Well I can assure you with 100% certainty that this IS a scam.
First in a thread to point out that it will be full of posts from people who just skimmed the message and missed the joke.
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Suddenly Ninjas
Blog: My Loot, Your Tears
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Hamno
M. Corp
Mostly Harmless
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Posted - 2009.09.09 21:30:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Sauleus Menac
*Yes I was high when I came up with this.
Epic
The NEW M.Corp Data Hub - Check it out! |
Curzon Dax
Deep Core Mining Inc.
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Posted - 2009.09.09 21:57:00 -
[6]
ISK sent for 500,000 shares.
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Eve-Online Parodies: Music To Laugh To |
SetrakDark
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Posted - 2009.09.09 22:34:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Curzon Dax
ISK sent for 500,000 shares.
alt confidence scam!
i caught you!
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Curzon Dax
Deep Core Mining Inc.
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Posted - 2009.09.09 23:29:00 -
[8]
Originally by: SetrakDark
Originally by: Curzon Dax
ISK sent for 500,000 shares.
alt confidence scam!
i caught you!
Heh...I haven't been called an alt in years. Its almost refreshing!
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Eve-Online Parodies: Music To Laugh To |
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CCP Ildoge
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Posted - 2009.09.10 05:30:00 -
[9]
Thread moved to Sell Orders section
Ildoge
Community Representative
CCP Hf
Contact us |
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Claire Voyant
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Posted - 2009.09.10 15:07:00 -
[10]
Originally by: CCP Ildoge
Thread moved to Sell Orders section
Someone fails at reading comprehension.
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Teras Menac
Gallente
Tarantula LLC
The Ancients.
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Posted - 2009.09.10 18:55:00 -
[11]
Originally by: Claire Voyant
Originally by: CCP Ildoge
Thread moved to Sell Orders section
Someone fails at reading comprehension.
I guess because it's a lottery he thought it belonged here.
*shrugs*
The lottery is merely the vehicle by which to organize the bailout.
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Soldur
Helljumpers
Double Dutch Rudders
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Posted - 2009.09.10 19:42:00 -
[12]
lulz tarp bailout
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