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James 315
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
1895
   |
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:22:00 -
[1] - Quote
I have some wonderful news to report. Halaima, a highsec ice mining system known for its dangerous proximity to the botter capital of Jita, will now be subject to my guidance and generosity. After exhaustive consultation with the GMs, I have hammered out a EULA-compliant business plan that will enable all EVE to invest in Halaima's bright new future.
I realize that this announcement may initially be met by some confusion and frustration among those who are accustomed to a lawless, leaderless highsec. The circumstances of the regime change in Halaima are a bit unusual--dare I say, emergent?--so I humbly ask your patience as I relate the story and offer my business proposal.
Earlier this year, the spirit of the VCBees came upon me, and I began bumping miners in Arvasaras, another highsec ice mining system. Miners were instructed, "giev 1 mil or bump." Some paid, and some didn't. Those who were bumped found themselves unable to mine: Mining lasers have a fairly short range, and I have become exceedingly efficient at relocating miners beyond it.
Given my history of suicide ganking the miners of Arvasaras, my bumping campaign inspired some resistance. When the miners traded their hulks for ganking ships, they found out what it's like to be on the wrong side of Concord--once my enemies, now my loyal soldiers. Two dozen miners lost their ships, which included some expensive gear that I eventually resold in Jita. My Invincible Stabber lived up to its name, and the miners continued to concoct elaborate plots against it. But all good things must come to an end. I left Arvasaras to go orca hunting, as is known to the readers of the Manifesto II.
After 20 dead orcas and 50 billion isk of highsec miner tears, I decided it was time to bump some more miners. I was troubled by the amount of botting and bot-aspirant behavior in Halaima's ice field. I made my intentions known, and the Halaima miners didn't take the news much better than their counterparts in Arvasaras.
Unfortunately, I quickly found myself on the receiving end of multiple petitions for harassment. Back in Arvasaras, I was also frequently petitioned, but no action was taken against me; I handled petition-threatening miners by doubling their ransom from one million to two. But Halaima was a different story, and I received a warning.
At this point in the story, I want to express my most sincere appreciation for the professionalism of the GMs and for all of the hard work they do. Aside from an incident a few years ago when I was erroneously permabanned, I have always enjoyed a very good relationship with the GM staff. The miners of Halaima may have noticed my absence in recent days. In fact, I have been in talks with the GMs. The bumping of other players' ships is a complicated area of the law, and I hoped the GMs and I could work together to find an arrangement that works for all parties involved. We did.
Prior to this announcement, I prepared an outline of my business plan and ran it by the GM who had originally given me the warning. I was given the green light to proceed. What follows is an explanation of my new business venture, along with a helpful guide for the ice miners of Halaima, to assist them in adjusting to the new order with a minimum of discomfort.
ICE MINING IN HALAIMA - THE BASICS
All those who wish to mine ice in Halaima should send James 315 a payment of 10 million isk. To ensure proper processing of your payment, please include "Halaima permit" in the reason slot. Once your payment has been received, you will be set to positive standings and will become a proper member of the Halaima family. For a period of one full year (365 days) from the date of your payment, you will be free to mine ice without being bumped.
If you fail to make the payment, you will be at risk of being bumped out of mining range. In other words, I will be able to stop you from mining whenever I feel like it.
Please note, however, that this service represents the sale of indulgences. Highsec miners who pay will not be bumped by me, but they will continue to be guilty of mining in highsec, and may suffer the consequences thereof (e.g. being suicide ganked by third parties). Miners may also risk losing their positive standings if they engage in severe violations of the New Halaima Code of Conduct (see below).
INVEST IN HALAIMA'S FUTURE!
My new miner-bumping company is pleased to announce its IPO. As of this post, I am selling 100 shares at a price of 1 million isk each. An undisclosed number of shares will continue to be held by the owner of the company, James 315. Dividends will be paid to shareholders when appropriate. To purchase shares, please send your isk to James 315 and include "stock purchase" in the reason slot.
* * * (Proceed to section 2.) * * *
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James 315
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
1895
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:22:00 -
[2] - Quote
THE NEW HALAIMA - FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Unlike the carebears, who cloak everything they do in perpetual hypocrisy and deceit, I am a man of honour. I have always been open and honest about my intentions. Most reasonable residents of highsec describe my leadership style as "tough, but fair." In my experience, many miners are completely oblivious to what is going on in EVE, and are apt to repeatedly ask me the same questions about why I am bumping them out of mining range. Out of fairness, and for the sake of convenience, I provide the following FAQ to the miners of Halaima, as well as potential investors in the company.
Q. You can't bump me! This is harassment and against the EULA.
It's a common misconception that bumping players in highsec is automatically harassment. Since the rules are not publicly viewable in a central location, EVE players tend to be led astray by rumors and unsourced wikis. I, on the other hand, have been in direct contact with the people who actually enforce the EULA, to ensure that my business is in full compliance.
In this case, my bumping of Halaima ice miners is not random harassment; rather, it is an activity conducted in the course of business. In the event of an audit, I have ample evidence to support the reasonable expectation of profit. Prior to this announcement, I gathered game logs, chat logs, and screenshots of wallet journals, transactions, evemails, and other materials from my time in Arvasaras. During my brief bumping campaign there, I was able to accumulate over 100 million isk in profit, all of which is fully substantiated by the aforementioned evidence. The profit came not only from ransoms, but also from the sale of modules--taken from the wrecks of disgruntled miners who got themselves blown up trying to stop me. Since bumping requires no ammunition, my only expense was a 9,000 isk secure container (used to announce a warning to miners) that I failed to refresh while I was out orca hunting. I also have copious logs and screenshots of my conversations with the GMs on this matter, for my reference and theirs.
Q. Who are you? Anyone can claim to own a highsec system. I can say I own everything in EVE!
I am James 315, the Saviour of Highsec. I do not consider myself a hero, but I acknowledge that I have done many great and heroic deeds, and I accept that others think that I am a hero.
It's true that anyone can claim control of anything. Outside of EVE, a government is considered legitimate if it has the enduring ability to send men with guns to kill or imprison other people. Upon this power hangs all the law. There's no need for philosophy here: When a miner is bumped out of mining range, he no longer has the ability to mine--and he does not even get a share of the ore/ice he mined from earlier in the laser's cycle, when he was in range. Therefore, I can stop people from mining whenever I want. Since the miners in Halaima want to mine ice, and since I alone decide whether or not they can, I command the ice field of Halaima. It's really that simple.
Q. I mine ice in Halaima. How will the change in leadership affect me?
You have nothing to fear from the New Order of Highsec coming to Halaima. Things will largely continue as they have in the past. If you pay me 10 million isk, you can continue to mine ice the same way you always have. If you choose not to pay, you may experience some difficulty. Also, all miners are required to follow some basic rules to ensure the continued vitality of the Halaima community.
Q. HA HA I am mining ice right now, you can't stop me!
As Supreme Protector of Halaima, some may expect me to doggedly enforce the rules at all times against all offenders. This is a misperception of my role. Aside from those who have purchased indulgences, I will bump whomever I choose, whenever I choose. Your mining operations are entirely at my mercy. If I feel like stopping you from mining, I will; if not, I won't.
Q. Why are you in an NPC corp? Are you afraid of being wardecced?
On the contrary, I am Invincible and am afraid of nothing. I do not need corp members to fight my battles for me, nor do I feel the need to hide behind a corporate veil. I will fight anyone at any time. However, creating a corporation does cost over a million isk, which would cut into my profit margin.
Q. If you're invincible then meet me in (lowsec system) for a 1v1.
I will gladly fight a duel with anyone, any time, anywhere. It doesn't matter what ship you bring; I will always win. Of course, it's a waste of my time unless I am fighting a worthy opponent. To demonstrate your honour, you must prove you are not afraid to die. Concord yourself.
Q. Do you plan on extending your control from Halaima to other systems?
I can't discuss that at the moment.
* * * (Proceed to section 3.) * * *
|
James 315
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
1895
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:23:00 -
[3] - Quote
THE NEW HALAIMA CODE OF CONDUCT
Although profit is a primary motive of my new business, I strongly believe that corporations should also seek to make a positive contribution to the community. I would like to think that I "do well by doing good." I realize that there is already a EULA in place that governs player conduct, but in my encounters with highsec miners, I often find myself wishing that the miners were of a higher caliber. In my view, many of these miners could become higher quality EVE players (and generally, better people) if they were simply held to a higher standard. The New Halaima Code of Conduct provides that standard.
Consider that I cannot bump all miners simultaneously. Since many miners will not have purchased their indulgences, I will usually have more than one miner whom I could choose to bump. So how should I prioritize? Again, the Code provides the answer. Those who consistently violate the Code will be at increased risk of bumping. Moreover, to ensure the Halaima community lives up to my expectations, those who already have purchased indulgences may forfeit their place of honour if they violate the Code.
The New Halaima Code of Conduct is the product of a truly democratic process. It was written by the entire Halaima community. As Supreme Protector of Halaima and Saviour of Highsec, I represent all of the individual members of the community and acted as proxy when drafting the Code. The Code is also a social compact. This means that everyone who enters the Halaima system is deemed to have agreed to its terms.
Since the Code is a living, breathing document, it's not possible to fully enumerate all of the rules. But here are some examples of the rules, to help everyone get a sense of its spirit:
- Mining indulgences may be purchased for 10 million isk per character, and are good for one year, subject to forfeiture.
- Miners should strive not only to avoid botting, but to avoid even the appearance of botting.
- Bot-aspirant behavior is not permitted.
- No AFK mining allowed. All miners are expected to remain at their keyboards at all times, and are required to prove their presence by responding in local when requested by the Supreme Protector.
- Halaima is a safe space for suicide gankers. Miners are required to put aside their prejudices and treat gankers with respect.
- Upon being suicide ganked, a miner should congratulate the ganker on his success. A "good fight" or "gf" in local is customary.
- No excessive mining. Miners should not fall into a routine of mining all day. I want well-rounded people in my system, not ice-mining machines.
- Keep local clean. Miners should be courteous in local and should refrain from the use of profanity.
- Respect for elected officials. As Saviour of Highsec, I acted as proxy when electing myself Supreme Protector of Halaima. Miners should respect the will exercised by the people when they made this choice.
- The New Order of Highsec continues to recognize The Mittani as the legitimate Chairman of the CSM. This determination remains the rule in Halaima.
- Prejudice toward minorities is not permitted. For the sake of clarity, this cannot apply to all groups claiming minority status, but only discrete and insular minorities, which are defined as suicide gankers, Goons, and others who oppose highsec mining.
- To minimize the workload of our GMs, miners shall not file petitions against the Supreme Protector. Failure to abide by this rule is an automatic Red Pen violation (see below).
- If a miner does not wish to purchase a mining indulgence, he may still be granted a one-day reprieve, if he is able to correctly answer the Supreme Protector's Questions Three.
- Red Pen. On my desk there is a sheet of paper. In my desk there is a drawer. Inside this drawer is a Red Pen. If a miner commits an egregious offense or series of offenses, his name will be written on the paper with the Red Pen. If your name is written in Red Pen, the cost of an indulgence will be trebled and you will be at increased risk of bumping.
* * * (Proceed to section 4.) * * *
|
James 315
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
1895
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:23:00 -
[4] - Quote
SOME PRACTICAL EXAMPLES
After years of neglect and abuse, a highsec miner's conscience has often withered away. Most EVE players view the highsec miners as a detestable, pestilential cancer. As Saviour of Highsec, I still find the strength to occasionally perform acts of mercy where the miners are concerned. For instance, even when the miners spit vile insults at me in local, I do not respond in kind. Why not? See if you can stand in the highsec miner's shoes for a moment. I have bumped him out of mining range, ruining his mining op. I destroyed his last shred of dignity, if he had any to begin with. That miner has to have some kind of comeback--his kind always does. So if allowing the miner to vent his profanities toward me in local saves his wife or children one extra beating, that's something I'll gladly take. The miner has to take it out on somebody, and I'd rather it be me than some household full of children out there.
In this case, my mercy toward the miner comes in the form of some simple, practical examples by which he can follow the New Halaima Code of Conduct. Goofus represents the average highsec miner, while Gallant represents the reformed, improved highsec miner which I seek to create:
Goofus whines in local after being suicide ganked.
Gallant thanks the ganker for teaching him a lesson.
Goofus claims to be a disabled military veteran, or a single mother, or that mining is relaxing.
Gallant admits that he has no good reason for mining in highsec.
Goofus makes up excuses for being AFK while mining.
Gallant always remains at his keyboard.
Goofus fills local with obscenities when he gets bumped out of range.
Gallant promptly pays 10 million isk to the Supreme Protector of Halaima.
Goofus spends all day mining to accumulate isk.
Gallant only takes as much ice as he needs.
Goofus begs CCP to buff hulk EHP.
Gallant tanks his ships to improve their EHP.
Goofus moans endlessly about hulkageddon and evil goonies.
Gallant admires all forms of emergent gameplay.
Goofus boasts about having important alts in nullsec.
Gallant recognizes his place is at the bottom of the EVE hierarchy.
Please, don't be Goofus.
***
The transition of authority will take place in the coming days. When the time comes, a secure container will be anchored in the Halaima ice field with a notice of the system's new ownership. If you have read this announcement and decided the new vision of Halaima just isn't for you, I suggest you begin relocating your assets now.
As for the rest of you, I will accept early payment of mining permits beginning today, at 10 million isk per character. If you are not a miner but would like to support this important project, you may purchase shares at 1 million each, or send other contributions to James 315.
Thank you.
- 315
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Tor Aldinado
Native Freshfood
Minmatar Republic
0
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:32:00 -
[5] - Quote
Sounds fun!
Good luck! |
Tragedy
The Creepshow
10
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:33:00 -
[6] - Quote
Seriously? tldr. |
John Anonymous
The Scope
Gallente Federation
7
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:33:00 -
[7] - Quote
"This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish."
|
KrakizBad
Eve Defence Force
Fatal Ascension
741
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:33:00 -
[8] - Quote
Oh man I love your posts.
Incursions still need to be nerfed more. Cut payouts by 50% for all ships worth more than 10m. |
EvilCheez
Red Federation
RvB - RED Federation
11
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:36:00 -
[9] - Quote
you sure you didn't mean James 3:16 "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice."??? |
Miss Yanumano
Science and Trade Institute
Caldari State
36
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:38:00 -
[10] - Quote
James, I love your posts, they're very entertaining, please do continue your quest of making sure the bottomfeeders are indeed, the lowest on the foodchain, and that they are painfully aware of this.
(The implication that some angry miners beat their kids, and wives, it's beautiful, I don't care if someone says it's intellectually dishonest and not PC, it's hilarious!) |
Nostradamouse Riraille
Blackreach.
SRS.
26
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:42:00 -
[11] - Quote
Cool story bro? |
Lipbite
Express Hauler
92
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:43:00 -
[12] - Quote
So much effort. That must be really profitable activity ;-) |
gulftobay
Pator Tech School
Minmatar Republic
59
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Posted - 2012.06.24 01:43:00 -
[13] - Quote
Meh
Low self-esteem?-á Bored?-á-áLonely?-á |
R0me0 Charl1e
Easy A Industries
33
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:45:00 -
[14] - Quote
This is going to be interesting. I bid you good luck James on your endeavor. |
Kimmi Chan
Illuminatus Reforged
The Revenant Order
158
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:53:00 -
[15] - Quote
This is going places.
/me puts feet up and gets ready to watch the show. 
-á"Miners mine so I don't have to." ~Metal Icarus |
gulftobay
Pator Tech School
Minmatar Republic
59
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:57:00 -
[16] - Quote
Question: Not a miner, but doesn't this violate http://wiki.eveonline.com/en/wiki/Griefing#Bump_griefing?
Low self-esteem?-á Bored?-á-áLonely?-á |
Eternal Error
Exitus Acta Probant
43
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:59:00 -
[17] - Quote
How do you get so many orca/miner fights? |
Roll Sizzle Beef
Space Mutiny
553
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 01:59:00 -
[18] - Quote
Goofus fills the forums with mountains of text as he has restless leg syndrome and cant sleep.
Gallant promptly takes a brick to the head. |
Dorian Wylde
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
108
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 02:02:00 -
[19] - Quote
Nostradamouse Riraille wrote:Cool story bro?
Not really. And people say the miners are the ones with no lives. |
Richard Desturned
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
1176
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 02:03:00 -
[20] - Quote
"This tactic is most notably executed at POS bubbles, where capital ships or other slow-moving vessels in particular may be bumped away from the safety of a shield bubble so that they can be tackled and destroyed."
Somehow I doubt that bumping supercaps out of POS shields for the sake of killing them is against the EULA.
a rogue goon |
Lapine Davion
Outer Ring Applied Logistics
472
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 02:04:00 -
[21] - Quote
All my likes, James.
Don't worry about posting with your main! -áPost with your brain!
"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." |
Skorpynekomimi
230
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 02:05:00 -
[22] - Quote
...
Seriously?
And this is entirely legitimate according to the EULA?
This game is crazy. And you, mister OP, need to find something productive to do with your time. You must have been seriously bored to come up with this idea, and seriously determined to hash it all out with GMs.
Seriously. It's absurd.
I applaud you. So much more classy than suicide ganking.
Also, are you recruiting bumpers? I might give that a try next time I'm around jita. |
Cloned S0ul
Blood Fanatics
146
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 02:06:00 -
[23] - Quote
Give me isk or bump, new definition of Griefing , well i have to admit bumping is part of game, but bumping it self is most stupid and unrealistic thing in game, everyone know what happens to two cars while crash, impact effect is depend speed and mass, and now imagine, a cruiser ship size like thorax with mass of 1128 tons hiting somting heavy at 2000+m/s...
I like your sense of humor, sound like mad Mad scientist, oh wait Mad buissmesman.
Teemo for president. |
Ituhata
The Scope
Gallente Federation
11
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 02:20:00 -
[24] - Quote
Man, almost made it halfway through page 3. A new personal best record for James 315 posts. |
Delen Ormand
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
49
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 02:54:00 -
[25] - Quote
Ituhata wrote:Man, almost made it halfway through page 3. A new personal best record for James 315 posts.
How the...? I only got to something like the second paragraph 
|
Asuri Kinnes
Adhocracy Incorporated
Adhocracy
497
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 02:55:00 -
[26] - Quote
James 315 wrote:I have some wonderful news to report.
Honest question:
Do you have to work at sounding like such a pretentious excretory cavity or is it natural?
You know there's something fundamentally wrong when the only way people can think of to promote the "best" part of the game is to make everything else suck more. |
Karl Hobb
Imperial Margarine
381
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 03:14:00 -
[27] - Quote
James 315 is a ******* hero, the square-jawed larger-than-your-irrelevant-life hero that high-sec needs.
Nothing Found |
Kyle Valentine
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
9
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 03:17:00 -
[28] - Quote
People like you are the proof that the bacteria is no more the lowest life form on earth.
Thanks, I feel so good now. Pathetic. |
Karl Hobb
Imperial Margarine
381
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 03:18:00 -
[29] - Quote
Kyle Valentine wrote:People like you are the proof that the bacteria is no more the lowest life form on earth.
Indeed. James 315 is living proof that high-sec miners are the lowest of the low.
Nothing Found |
Asuri Kinnes
Adhocracy Incorporated
Adhocracy
497
|
Posted - 2012.06.24 03:23:00 -
[30] - Quote
Karl Hobb wrote:James 315 is a ******* hero, the square-jawed larger-than-your-irrelevant-life hero that high-sec needs.
Hi sec needs him like excretory cavities need a Pilonidal cyst.
You know there's something fundamentally wrong when the only way people can think of to promote the "best" part of the game is to make everything else suck more. |
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