Aqualonda
Minmatar
Machiavelli's Cat
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Posted - 2010.02.17 17:02:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Aqualonda on 17/02/2010 17:19:07
Internet Lawyer: I assert that Mr. Bob Kent, aka McMeanyPants in the online game EVE, owes me 15$ for the theft of my internet spaceship.
Judge: I have never heard of internet spaceships. Who did you purchase this internet spaceship from?
Internet Lawyer: Nobody. I built it.
Judge: I see. I presume, with these being an online game, that the materials you also built it from are fictitious as well?
Internet Lawyer: Yes, but...
Judge: Please explain to the court how your imaginary spaceship is worth real money.
Internet Lawyer: I purchased the materials in-game using ISK, which I obtained by selling a time code.
Judge: ISK?
Internet Lawyer: The game's currency.
Judge: Is this currency based on any real currency? Can I exchange ISK at a bank for real money?
Internet Lawyer: No, but you can exchange it for a time code, which is worth 15$.
Judge: How? Who sells these time codes?
Internet Lawyer: Various third parties, with the approval of CCP.
Judge: CCP is the producer of this game? I presume you have a copy of the EULA?
(Internet Lawyer hands the Judge the EULA, who reads it)
Judge: It states here that CCP owns all 'virtual' items in-game, including ISK, now and in perpetuity.
Internet Lawyer: I spent 15$ to purchase ISK, which I sank into that ship, your honor. Mr. Kent owes me 15$!
Judge: He doesn't owe you anything. According to the EULA, your ship belongs to CCP, not you.
Internet Lawyer: But I spent real money on it!
Judge: No, you spent 15$ on a service to obtain a time code. You then traded that time code to another player for 'ISK'. If the time code was in any way faulty, then you could have taken legal action against the service that sold it to you. But you traded that code for fake money that belongs to CCP and is not transferable outside the game. CCP allows this, which is their choice. They can revoke it, and your ISK, at any time. You agreed to this the moment you clicked on 'Yes' on the EULA.
Internet Lawyer: Fine then. I want to sue McMeanyPa.. I mean, Mr. Kent, for emotional distress! Stealing my internet spaceship was a huge blow to my esteem!
Judge: You can't.
Internet Lawter: Huh? Why not?
Judge: Because you placed yourself in that situation. A chess master doesn't get to file a claim of emotional distress against the opponent who beat him, because he deliberately placed himself in a situation where he could be beaten. When you tacitly placed yourself in a virtual environment where you had the possibility of losing virtual properly, a game, I must note, that you could have and can quit at any time, you lost the legal ground necessary to sue for emotional distress. Now if Mr. Kent had started phoning you to make fun of you, or sent you text messages, or made it impossible to play the game you paid to play, then you would have ground.
Internet Lawyer: He stole my spaceship, now I don't want to play any more.
Judge: Is stealing spaceships a supported game mechanic, or did he exploit the game to steal the spaceship?
Internet Lawyer: ... it's supported.
Judge: I'm sorry for your loss of your totally fictitious spaceship. Case dismissed. Bailiff, what's next on the docket?
*Internet Lawyer sobs*
Bailiff: Case two-two-five-oh, the case of Mr. Riley, aka "RocketMissioner" versus Mr. Mooney, aka "AllYourSalvageBelongs2Us", for the return of "salvaged loot" taken from the plaintiff in the game 'EVE Online'.
Judge: *sigh*
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