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Mia Lang
Caldari KARZEC INDUSTRIES INC Venture Alliance
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Posted - 2010.02.21 14:05:00 -
[31]
Vlad-Vlad-Vlad....what can I add.. Your writing is gud...your combat iz bad
♥ Mia
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Hospital Patient
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Posted - 2010.02.21 15:40:00 -
[32]
Dear Raging WT,
I am writing you to inform you that I disagree with your assessment. Your alliance is unwilling to fight a 1 sided war. One sided for them, that is. All while sitting in a POS bubble or station and smacking. It is no different than any other, target, only to such an extreme amount that one would have to assume the concept of fun is forgotten. In closing
No u
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Lord Zekk
Caldari 22nd Black Rise Defensive Unit OWN Alliance
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Posted - 2010.02.21 15:49:00 -
[33]
A great read as usual. Keep them coming. ----------------------------------------
We are recruiting. Visit us at http://www.22ndbrdu.com |

DedJezter
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Posted - 2010.02.21 16:34:00 -
[34]
Anti Audit Log 2010.02.21.1527 - These were the Best of times and the worst of times.
Another pirate came a calling today, and an ugly stiff as a board one at that. He was incognito as a taxman from the Empire, and smelled as if he had not known the comforts that empire space can provide, showers, bathrooms, and the sweet smell of home built by family. Pirates never understand the core concepts of family, maybe because they had troubled lives or one to many trips through the cloning bays have diluted their sense of unity. The family is a haven in a heartless world. I still ponder why they all try the same con, was I born yesterday, must have been. He claimed we owed millions in Isk, but had no real documentation to back up this claim. We pay our taxes to the empire and have always had a good relationship with them. They know we are on the up and up.
So we tried to reason with him but Pirates do not understand reason, just violence and games. The kind of games that get them killed. We are a peaceful folk out here in the dark cold depths of space. We wanted nothing more than to live our lives and work hard to make ends meet.
We were surprised however when the mail arrived and they had War Dec'd us. Pirates that follow rules, must not be very good pirates in the end. So we did what we do every time these bastards come calling. We gave them as few targets as we could, left them to be bored and playing with themselves just a few clicks off the station. As far as pirates go this is the way they fight. They play station games and dock for hours on end.
We are just simple mining folk out here, we do our best to stay out of the nonsense and pitiful feuds of the verse, but will defend our homes from s****in any color, shape, and size. We know the meaning of friends and of family and we stick together through thick and thin. We help one another, we teach one another, and most of all we care for one another. We will defend ourselves and be nice until it is time to not be nice. We are united and we always will be.
The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking one another out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
We will not pay, we will not fall, we are untited.
The Venture Family
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Zanuusii
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Posted - 2010.02.21 17:17:00 -
[35]
Vlad, Always enjoy reading your audit logs, I often wonder as I read them do you take any inspiration from the Warhammer 40K Eisenhorn trilogy?
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Ekon Bor
Amarr Van Diemen's Demise
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Posted - 2010.02.21 18:35:00 -
[36]
Originally by: DedJezter ...made himself sound a little silly...
Mate, if there's one constant here, it's that people trying to "write themselves successful" in the middle of a taxman thread tend to come off, at the very least, a bit sad and whiney. And usually, as comparatively poor writers. Combat rule #1 is, do not fight on ground where the enemy has the advantage, yes? Well, he does this stuff better than you. You've lost a comparatively small amount of isk, sensible move is to take it on the chin and move on.
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Awesome Possum
MeatSausage EXPRESS
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Posted - 2010.02.21 21:14:00 -
[37]
That vexor/cynabal read was more exciting to me than my last few fights. ♥
Wreck Disposal Services |

Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2010.02.21 21:45:00 -
[38]
Originally by: Zanuusii Vlad, Always enjoy reading your audit logs, I often wonder as I read them do you take any inspiration from the Warhammer 40K Eisenhorn trilogy?
Fun read! Actually got into Eisenhorn and the W40K books as a result of doing the audits. Just kinda meshed well. Never really thought about it, but probably pulled some inspiration from that, and from Mitchell's Ciaphas Cain as well. Also a bit of Morgan's Takeshi Kovacs. And of course good ole pulp noir. 
Taxman IX: Risky Venture
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2010.02.21 22:03:00 -
[39]
Audit Log 20100219.2228 - New day. New punishment for the fiscally irresponsible. POS attack with Private Nuisance. Never really been one for this crap. Dull and monotonous. Lacks the instant gratification. But kinda hard to pass up killing a large faction tower. Should be a nice financial hit in the end. And might even draw out the hoodlums to defend. One can only hope.
Grab the Domi and some Gardes, form up in Yooh. Already a few Private Nuisance here. Ravens and Geddons, even some navy versions. Trio of Guardians too. Well prepared group. Deploy the sentries, sit back and wait. Just figured out their corp ticker. PRKS. Classy. At least they didn't use a period in their name. Not surprisingly, they're a rough crowd. Anuses, farm animals, and family members seem to be the topics of choice. Gonna be a long siege.
Grind down the shields. Bet for stront? No takers. Especially if VENT is stupid enough to fit Large Beams and have everything offline. Into armor when PRKS start getting excited. Apparently hired an obvious VENT spy. And he's coming to help. Poor dumb bastard. Shows up in an Abaddon at range. Slowly putters towards the group. PRKS giggling away like school children. You'd think the Curse would give it away. But keeps on coming. Lamb to the slaughter. 20km and the PRKS unload. Fight is short and one-sided. Corp kick the spy and PRKS seem rather proud of themselves. Then all hell breaks loose.
Concord. Apparently one the geniuses decided that shooting the spy's wreck was a good idea... after they had kicked him from corp. Fine for him due to personal aggro. Not so good for the non-aggro'd energy transfer chain. Guardians fall one after another like dominos. Unbelievable. Utter and complete fecking fail. PRKS stop giggling. Then burst into full on laughter. Bloody idiots. Really glad I brought a generic combat Domi instead of something with RR.
POS finally dies after a bit more pounding. Only VENT contribution was to send down some alts to watch. Pitiful. Can't even be bothered to defend a billion ISK investment. Speaking of which, how do we enter this in the ledger? Meh. Did 10% of the damage. We'll take 10% of the credit.
VENT account shows a credit of -190,000,000 ISK to be held against further transgressions of the tax code.
Taxman IX: Risky Venture
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Awesome Possum
MeatSausage EXPRESS
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Posted - 2010.02.22 15:37:00 -
[40]
Have these stories been PDF'd yet?
I'd like to peruse at my leisure at work. ♥
Wreck Disposal Services |
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Cmdr Khaine
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Posted - 2010.02.22 15:53:00 -
[41]
Another day in the grind. Protecting the inoccent from more pirate scum. They gloss themselves up calling it 'justice'..but i know what they are. Rotten to the core.
Reports come in. More solo rookie pilots ambushed. Ive had enough. i'll show them what justice means. Report comes in. Raven attacking the POS at range...coward. Move into position. Another ship warps in. Its a VENT battleship. Good distraction. I uncloak and thats it she doesnt know it yet but shes already dead. Thats what happens when you get ****y. Chalk up another kill. Justice is served.
Once more out in the cold dark void. Reports coming in ...Vlad is in system. Good. Hes in a hurricane...looks lost. Im already in position.Once again target is already dead. Overconfident. Yes. Blind to the trap. Yes. The attack begins. I decloak with my wingman. Jammed, scrammed and webbed. Hes already going down before the reserves warp in another good day. Chalks up another kill.
Local seems busy...as per standard filled with enemy alts. let them watch. Vlad has come back for another beating it seems. Learn the hard way he must. Very well. The fool broadcasts his location in local. Unwise. Within moments his Vexor is trapped and going down. I feel pitty for him. Easy prey. But theres no room for remorse. Not in the darkness of the void.
Better Luck next time....
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Xikorita
Mob Thought Phalanx Alliance
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Posted - 2010.02.22 16:10:00 -
[42]
Originally by: Vladimir Norkoff
Utter and complete fecking fail. PRKS stop giggling. Then burst into full on laughter. Bloody idiots. Really glad I brought a generic combat Domi instead of something with RR.
I like their style :D
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Reyhn Retenra
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Posted - 2010.02.22 16:15:00 -
[43]
Originally by: Awesome Possum Have these stories been PDF'd yet?
I'd like to peruse at my leisure at work.
someone did 1-7 Linkage
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Awesome Possum
MeatSausage EXPRESS
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Posted - 2010.02.22 16:49:00 -
[44]
Dear tax violators,
It really doesn't work when you come in here and try to story up your own crap.
It just doesn't. It makes you sound whiney.
It doesn't matter if Vlad is making up 1% or 110% of this stuff, he does it with class and style. His stories are great and shine up C&P. Yours are crap.
Stop urinating in our cheerios already.
-fanboi ♥
Wreck Disposal Services |

Sol'Kanar
Private Nuisance
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Posted - 2010.02.22 17:43:00 -
[45]
Originally by: Xikorita
Originally by: Vladimir Norkoff
Utter and complete fecking fail. PRKS stop giggling. Then burst into full on laughter. Bloody idiots. Really glad I brought a generic combat Domi instead of something with RR.
I like their style :D
Confirming that I'm the idiot who shot the wreck of a booted corp mate. We do have style - but it's the equivalent of 70's era shag carpeting.
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Zerrazick
Caldari The Maverick Navy
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Posted - 2010.02.22 17:56:00 -
[46]
DedJezter, you say you defend yoursleves. But you admitted to just docking. Hmmm, I guess a cowards defense is still a "defense". And would you people who post their stories please stop posting stories in Vlads? I mean, you just look bad. Even if, and I mean a BIG "if" you were as creative as he, I still wouldn't read it. Start your forums post.
Vlad, look forward to more.
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Rico Kovacs
Industrial Safety and Hazard Investigation Bureau
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Posted - 2010.02.24 14:35:00 -
[47]
Originally by: Cmdr Khaine Reports come in. ... Report comes in. ... Reports coming in. ...
REPORTS COME IN. ****TY POST SPOTTED IN VLAD'S THREAD.
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fanboi
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Posted - 2010.02.24 20:07:00 -
[48]
Originally by: Awesome Possum
-fanboi
Yes?
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Yakov Draken
Minmatar Tides Of War
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Posted - 2010.02.24 21:53:00 -
[49]
Originally by: Awesome Possum Dear tax violators,
It really doesn't work when you come in here and try to story up your own crap.
It just doesn't. It makes you sound whiney.
It doesn't matter if Vlad is making up 1% or 110% of this stuff, he does it with class and style. His stories are great and shine up C&P. Yours are crap.
Stop urinating in our cheerios already.
-fanboi
I think you are overdoing the fanboi thing. If the targets of the audit provide some extra drama then all the better for the story.
Great thread as ever Vlad.
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Awesome Possum
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Posted - 2010.03.03 01:12:00 -
[50]
Bumping the right thread! ♥
Wreck Disposal Services |
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Mara Tessidar
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Posted - 2010.03.03 02:14:00 -
[51]
Originally by: Cmdr Khaine Captain Foivos ate my cat.
Fixed.
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Ancy Denaries
SpaceMonkey's Alliance
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Posted - 2010.03.03 06:51:00 -
[52]
Originally by: Awesome Possum Dear tax violators,
It really doesn't work when you come in here and try to story up your own crap.
It just doesn't. It makes you sound whiney.
It doesn't matter if Vlad is making up 1% or 110% of this stuff, he does it with class and style. His stories are great and shine up C&P. Yours are crap.
Stop urinating in our cheerios already.
-fanboi
Confirming that Vlad's posts are one of the few things enjoyable in this cesspool that is C&P. His posts and Lady Spank...that's pretty much it. ---- The Demigodess with a Conscience - An EVE IC Blog
Originally by: CCP Dropbear rofl
edit: ah crap, dev account. Oh well, official rofl at you sir.
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Salmeria
Advanced Component Research Enterprise
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Posted - 2010.03.03 08:17:00 -
[53]
I want to shoot at you now! Wardec me tia
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Fat Uncle
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Posted - 2010.03.03 16:05:00 -
[54]
Originally by: Vladimir Norkoff
Grind down the shields. Bet for stront? No takers. Especially if VENT is stupid enough to fit Large Beams and have everything offline. Into armor when PRKS start getting excited. Apparently hired an obvious VENT spy. And he's coming to help. Poor dumb bastard. Shows up in an Abaddon at range. Slowly putters towards the group. PRKS giggling away like school children. You'd think the Curse would give it away. But keeps on coming. Lamb to the slaughter. 20km and the PRKS unload. Fight is short and one-sided. Corp kick the spy and PRKS seem rather proud of themselves. Then all hell breaks loose.
Concord. Apparently one the geniuses decided that shooting the spy's wreck was a good idea... after they had kicked him from corp. Fine for him due to personal aggro. Not so good for the non-aggro'd energy transfer chain. Guardians fall one after another like dominos. Unbelievable. Utter and complete fecking fail. PRKS stop giggling. Then burst into full on laughter. Bloody idiots. Really glad I brought a generic combat Domi instead of something with RR.
Epic Tale
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Hospital Patient
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Posted - 2010.03.04 01:25:00 -
[55]
channeling Jesslyn's thoughts because i called someone "dumb" and thats a "personal attack"
yea it was pretty funny. known bug, reimbursement worked fine. gotta admit, we were laughing like hyenas on vent. i had fun with vlad, but a week ago left. he seems pretty bored with the game and doesnt log in often. i dont blame him. with WT like that its easy to get bored. best fun we had was that can flip.
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2010.03.22 05:58:00 -
[56]
We apologize for the technical difficulties.
We now resume our regularly scheduled programming.
Taxman IX: Risky Venture
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Vladimir Norkoff
Income Redistribution Service
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Posted - 2010.03.22 06:12:00 -
[57]
Audit Log 20100220.2102 - Boredom. Day starts as usual. VENT hiding in their tower. Me sitting watching them. Dull. Terribly so. Bounce a few times to tower at long range trying to bait out some heroes. No takers. Sigh. then get a call from Jess. Apparently some "friends" of hers are popping a tower in wormhole space. Wants to know if I want to join in. Riiight. That sounds like a really good idea. And how the hell does she know so many people? I mean honestly. Most of the people I know we end up shooting. Violence. Best and final method of social interaction.
Anyway, load up the Domi and head out. I mean what could possibly go wrong? A few jumps towards Jita and there we are at wormhole entrance. Rest of gang apparently already inside attacking. Convenient. Follow her thru and... all clear. As it should be. Align and warp. Unknown gang at a tower should be fine, right? Wall of ships! Ravens, Apocs, Domis. All with drones out. Typical tower assault. Drop our sentries and join in. Pfft. As if there were anything to worry about. Get a few bombs dropped on us. Solo bomber wasting his ISK. Can't even break the drone shields. But at least it breaks up the monotony. Half hour later and the tower is reinforced. Feh. Was hoping for no stront. Oh well. Gang packs it up, head back out. Back to stalking VENT.
Hit Vuorrassi. About 10 VENT in system. Hiding in tower and stations. Switch to the Cane. Camp the stations. Finally pays off. VENT Drake at range. And it cloaks? Brilliant. Warp to can nearby. No luck with decloak. But another Drake undocks. It's Kiera Spyder, no talent roidsucker with two kills to her name. One of which against her own alliance mate. Easy meat. Guess we'll take her then. Warp back to station. And VENT gang warps to cloaked buddy. Scorp and a bunch of drakes. LOL. Fail trap timing. Reckon we can still take the station Drake. Overheat the ACs and go to work. Roidsucker locks back. Point, web, HAMs. That's... unexpected. Gang hits station. Mmmm. Time to get some range. Pulse the MWD. MWD? Oh. Crap. scrammed. Roidsucker not quite so fail. Gang locks. Scorp jams. Drakes fire. Pull the drones, cross the fingers. Dock? Dock? Goose. Warp out the pod. Feck!
Hit Oimmo. Swap to the Domi. Unbutton the collar and slam some Exile. Biatchez gonna pay! All of 'em. Back to station and they're all gone. Even the wreck. Feh. Bounce about stations looking for targets. Exile clock running out and finally get a mark. Another Drake. Chadwick Lamar. Jesus, could a name get any more "victim" than that? Lock and unload. Idiot actually fires back. VENT fishing for another kill, eh? Never works out well for the worm though. Drake already into armor by the time VENT blob arrives. Satisfying explosion. Start locking next target and jammed. Sigh. Pull the drones and wait. Reps fairly well. Check the loot. All crap. Wait. Looks like we got permajam. Bah. Dock.
Quick rep. Jump back out. All gone. Once again, even the wreck. Feh. Tally up the day.
VENT account still shows a credit of -190,000,000 ISK to be held against further transgressions of the tax code.
Taxman IX: Risky Venture
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Lord Zekk
Caldari 22nd Black Rise Defensive Unit OWN Alliance
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Posted - 2010.03.22 11:34:00 -
[58]
Welcome back. Great read as always. ----------------------------------------
We are recruiting. Visit us at http://www.22ndbrdu.com |

Rameus Luxmaar
Immortalis Inc. Shadow Cartel
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Posted - 2010.03.23 14:10:00 -
[59]
Edited by: Rameus Luxmaar on 23/03/2010 14:11:30
Originally by: Vladimir Norkoff
Audit Log 20100220.2102 - Dock? Dock? Goose.
heh heh thanks for the good read as always Vlad
edit: for spacing
Immortalis Inc. is recruiting PvP pilots! http://www.eveonline.com/ingameboard.asp?a=topic&threadID=1262739 Public Channel: Shadow Cartel Public |

Ran Khanon
Amarr Vengeance Innovations
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Posted - 2010.03.23 14:26:00 -
[60]
Originally by: Vladimir Norkoff Chadwick Lamar. Jesus, could a name get any more "victim" than that?
Haha :D I think not but that actually makes it very, very awesome.
/me starts Chadwick Lamar fanclub. Help us to make parrots game related today! |
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