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The Arts of Recuitment: How to be ****ing R E J E C T E D

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Leto Orodies	Posted - 2010.03.17 06:27:00 - [1] Edited by: Leto Orodies on 17/03/2010 06:33:35 Backstory: So I posted some Corp recruitment ads on the infamous spammer... I mean "recruitment" channel and while I'm busy spinning my ship around and around till I'm **ing dizzy, I get a convo. Great I thought to myself, another recruit, another grunt for the legion, another cannon fodder for the horde.... Instead, the individual in question, forgoes any form of salutation, no "Guten Tag", no "Ni Hao" and instead proceeds to demand that I tell him about our corp. Which I do, I tell him about our 0.0 presence, our PVP-jerkfest, our daily around the clock ops, and just how shiny n and cool we are. What babe magnets we've become and how many times we get e-laid in a day. Instead of a OMFG, can I suck your and join, please please please? to my surprise I get a concoction of verbal abuse, false accusation and y ass wording that barely constitutes a sentence and a general 6th-sense of "I'm too good for a bunch of s like you". Fine. While this is going down, I look up this individual's corp history, and BAM-ZING, red flag! employment in a hostile alliance, equals to an automatic disqualification. So I quit wasting my precious time talking to this tool, inform him of this fact and goes back to the super-duper important spinning my ship round n round. I thought this was the end of this bull*. But NO. Fools goes behind my back and mails my CEO with a bunch of horse . ###(His evemail to mein Fuhrer)### I was interested in joining your corporation after reading an advertisment from Leto Orodies, so I convoed him. After a brief conversation, he said I was in a red alliance and then told me to myself. To my understanding you guys are in the NC and I was vetted by Looney Toons- also in the NC. If this is how you wish to go about recruiting, then so be it, but I thought you should at least know how people in your corporation are representing you. Have a Great Day ###END### My great leader, being the wise man that he is, forwards me this horse of a mail and after wasting 30 seconds of my life reading a emo-rage, ***-n-whine of a evemail. I decided that I must be SOOOO witty and waste 10 minutes of this individual's existence rubbing internet salt into emotional wounds. Grabbing my thinking cap and upon remembering what was taught in English 101 (Which also by coincidence was wasted away due to evemails), I concocted this baloney. (Continued below)
Java Hun Rockey Mountain Lumber Co.	Posted - 2010.03.17 06:31:00 - [2] why do we care
Leto Orodies	Posted - 2010.03.17 06:33:00 - [3] ###(My reply)### I find is mildly amusing that upon your rejection of your proposal for recruitment, you would attempt to contract my CEO for some sort of sympathy and misguided attempted to smear my good-name. Sorry to inform you but all this result was LAWL from both parties. I never realized that rejection for membership in a internet spaceship organization would be so serious, I guess it is serious business after all. Emo-raging does not help your cause my friend. First, I recruit on two critiques, attitude and security. First you failed the latter, in which your membership in a hostile alliance automatically disqualifies you, no matter how pretty & sexy you may think you are. Second you failed the attitude test. By gloating and insulting my corp/alliance and referring to our "ego-sized testicle " and our ability to flaunt it, and referring to our unique organization as "just another one of those"... show the lack of ******* on your part. As well as politeness, good attitude and refined mannerism. You've shown that you have much to learn in many departments, and here is not the place to teach you those things. Your mother would likely be the better choice. Since you failed both attributes but also reveal many other character flaws, you were rejected. Not a special rejection, just a standard GTFO one. However, you decided upon yourself to go above me, which shows emo-rage (a trait frowned upon here) Your relative short-stay in eve and the relative long history of employment does nothing more than confirm my conclusions. Also your (short) stay in Looney-Toons of NC does not work in your favor but instead shows that your a character that NC does not desire. We do not fly with people like you, no sir, we shoot and pod slime-bags like of your character. Make no mistake about that. I do wish you luck in finding a Corp suitable and compatible with your personality. Preferably one of your own creation, so you may evemail yourself and emo-rage all over this goddamn universe. And with that you won't be rejected, unless of course you reject yourself. Now, you have a NICER DAY. I look forward in seeing you in space, I hope you bought insurance. Hugs n Kiss Leto, your friendly Corp Diplo & Recruiter. ###END### So if the individual in question ever happens to read this, this is why you got rejected you ing tool. I hope this brought you a chuckle or two, as hearing the responses from my corp mates over this mail, i accidentally spilled bong water on my keyboard and soaked my bag of tree. Somebody owes me a **ing nug......(or two! for I swear I'll evemail about it) Love, Leto
Leto Orodies	Posted - 2010.03.17 06:46:00 - [4] Idk, somebody said that I should put this up here, just following orders prick. And for anyone who spend hours sifting through piles of slime-bags for potential good recruits knows that a *got ed off at getting rejected emailing your CEO *ing can get **ing annoying at times. Did you get rejected too? Who cares? Apparently you as you did click on the thread and probably read the whole damn thing.
Olusegun Obasanjo Minmatar CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA	Posted - 2010.03.17 06:59:00 - [5] Originally by: Java Hun why do we care
Ancy Denaries	Posted - 2010.03.17 07:13:00 - [6] Originally by: Olusegun Obasanjo Originally by: Java Hun why do we care You cared enough to quote someone that cared enough to post. ---- The Demigodess with a Conscience - An EVE IC Blog Originally by: CCP Dropbear rofl edit: ah crap, dev account. Oh well, official rofl at you sir.
Gladys Pank Amarr Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta	Posted - 2010.03.17 07:16:00 - [7] Originally by: Leto Orodies a *got ed off at getting rejected emailing your CEO *ing can get **ing annoying at times. Did you get rejected too? Homophobic corp. Crap thread. Pathetic. ~ Soar Like a Penguin
Kirra Liu Echelon Holdings Echelon.	Posted - 2010.03.17 07:20:00 - [8] sage Kirra Liu /Lord Windu
Ran Khanon Amarr Vengeance Innovations	Posted - 2010.03.17 07:41:00 - [9] Around 84 asterisks in a non crime & punishment related thread and counting. This is a ****load of asterisks so far. Support Lana's new bounty system.
Dipluz Caldari Sacred Templars Black Star Alliance	Posted - 2010.03.17 08:01:00 - [10] remember back in the days when I had my own pirate corp, one of my recruiters had a s****bag like that, and when the recruit got rejected beacuse of previous corps, attitude and so forth he actually mailed me. I just lolled and trolled the recruit --------------------------

The Crushah Gallente Death of Virtue MeatSausage EXPRESS	Posted - 2010.03.17 08:19:00 - [11] Hey guys, is this the thread where we profess our love for cheese?
Gladys Pank Amarr Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta	Posted - 2010.03.17 08:22:00 - [12] I have bread but my cheese is mouldy ~ Soar Like a Penguin
Jimer Lins Gallente Noir. Noir. Mercenary Group	Posted - 2010.03.17 08:34:00 - [13] **post is **post. Killboard-Declarations of War Podcast
Rubenson Mob Thought	Posted - 2010.03.17 08:34:00 - [14] I liked how you write +1
Piktas Katinas Little Big Industries	Posted - 2010.03.17 09:41:00 - [15] Originally by: Rubenson I liked how you write +1 same +1
KoffeeKup Caldari Hyperion Ore Mining Enterprises Hyperion Rising	Posted - 2010.03.17 10:14:00 - [16] Well, don't envy your job, i hate paper work. And having to deal with people like that all day? Damn i hope you get paid well. Anyway, i though it was funny. Piece of ** got what he deserved. Anyway, im not looking forward to making a corp for that reason, i don't know how some people stay sane dealing with all that ** all day. Anyway i u get more do share. Im always up for a good laugh. Oh, and don't hold back next time, i could tell that you tried to give that rejection to him in the most business like of tones while still ripping on him. Just go all out next time, would be funny to see what you said.
Skallebank Minmatar Shut Up And Play WE FORM VOLTRON	Posted - 2010.03.17 11:40:00 - [17] Omfg what ever happened to cake. Skalla C&P fanboi My grammer and spelling arn't perfect,.deal with it.
The'Best Hellfury Incura	Posted - 2010.03.17 11:50:00 - [18] Your story is nothing spectacular, but I sure do like how you told it
Lindsay Logan	Posted - 2010.03.17 12:14:00 - [19] Originally by: Kirra Liu sage I lol'd
Dracoknight Strategic Syndicate Chain of Chaos	Posted - 2010.03.17 12:21:00 - [20] Originally by: The'Best Hellfury Your story is nothing spectacular, but I sure do like how you told it Gotta agree with the hellflurry, not a impressive thread, but better than average written compared to most "slime-bags" around here ____________________ I wish my Thorax could use missiles...

Poo Ka'hontas Red Eye Brigade Elysium Alliance	Posted - 2010.03.17 12:27:00 - [21] 7/10 Waaaaaay better than any C&P-post.. ______________________________________________ My sig is on strike due to lack of attention!
Nexus Kinnon Genos Occidere Sev3rance	Posted - 2010.03.17 12:44:00 - [22] so did anyone else notice that **ing is censored in the thread title and in the posts but not in the browser's title ~~cCpPrOtIeRwEbDeV~~ Originally by:** Queue K'Umber It is unseemly when a player becomes a self-congratulatory poastaholic
Marko Riva Adamant Inc.	Posted - 2010.03.17 13:01:00 - [23] On that note, I put up a recruitment post for my corp which TL;DR's to "we don't take idiots, non-effort lazy people/alts, spies prolly won't get what they're looking for and corp thieves won't have a chance". I literally got 1 new member from it ----------- I think, therefore I'm single. Want to learn combat/PVP? Alliance creation service
omgevenmoarfreemoniez	Posted - 2010.03.17 16:06:00 - [24] Not posted by a forum regular so OMG IT SUXORZ LOLOLOL FAIL NOOB TROLL -1 HAHAHA 0/10
Owen Drakkar Terra Nostra	Posted - 2010.03.17 17:36:00 - [25] ****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** Over 4000
Tornim Minmatar Ihatalo Navy Ihatalo Cartel Navy	Posted - 2010.03.17 17:57:00 - [26] Originally by: Nexus Kinnon so did anyone else notice that ****ing is censored in the thread title and in the posts but not in the browser's title ~~cCpPrOtIeRwEbDeV~~ Just saw that. Nice catch :)
Faekurias Origin. Black Legion.	Posted - 2010.03.17 18:28:00 - [27] Gas op, ban thread?
Miyuki Shirafune Hedion University	Posted - 2010.03.17 18:58:00 - [28] Originally by: Piktas Katinas Originally by: Rubenson I liked how you write +1 same +1 On a scale of -4 to 7, I give you a -3.14159.
Ekon Bor Amarr Viziam	Posted - 2010.03.17 21:26:00 - [29] Came expecting brain to explode due to stonking hangover interacting with god-awful post formatting, expectations satisfied.
Miney Prospector Maximum Yarrage	Posted - 2010.03.17 23:30:00 - [30] I literally dozed off while reading the 2nd part of the OPs post and that is a bad thing because I am at work. -1 sir, -1. Trancehacker -- "HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE BEEN PLAYIN???"



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