Originally by: Kelduum Revaan

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Just to confirm, yes, this was an April fool, like last years annoucement of closure.

For now, we are making do with corps 'volunteering' themselves as targets via wardecs, although its a disappointment so few actually stay to fight.

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Originally by: Kelduum Revaan

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Edited by: Kelduum Revaan on 02/04/2010 00:06:19
(... continued from OP)

Some of the Services offered:

• Patented UniBlob(TM) and UniLag(TM) technologies, which instil fear and panic in your enemies as local suddenly increases by more than 200 pilots.
• Well coordinated fleets, made up of effectively worthless ships, so your enemies can never get a positive ISK ratio on their killboard.
• Permanent damage to your chosen targets DNA, through excessive use of electronic warfare.
• 23/7 station camping of your targets - our pilots really have nothing better to do.
• Hordes of fearless noobs with nothing to lose, who get their ships replaced by the corp as well as free jumpclones to save those +1 implants.
• Non-combat asset denial. By opening an Eve University office in your target system, all asteroid belts and production slots within five jumps will be instantly used up.
• Pirate harassment. Opening an office near your target losec system will lead to fleets harassing pirates in the area 23/7, including destruction of capital ships by frigates.
• Rapid improvement of development indices for your territory in nullsec, or harassment of your foes who are trying to increase thiers.
• On the launch of Incarna, a new 'UniCrowd' option, populating your targets in-station hangouts with over two hundred noobs.
• Optional exemption from hostilities, via regular small donation and standings.

To employ our services, the arrangements are relatively simple, however you have two options:

1. Speak to Silentbrick, our Director of War, and provide your target and list of services required. Costs start at 50 million ISK for the basic wardec, and scale up depending on the services required. Donations are of course welcomed to assist us in rapid replacement of any losses.

2. A little more complex, but more popular recently, is infiltrating the target corporation, and convincing them to declare war on Eve University. This option has no cost, however donations are of course welcome.


While the first option is substantially more straightforward and much quicker, the second option is more satisfying as you watch them pay for their own demise.


Already, negotiations are in progress for our first contract which is expected to go live within the next 24 hours, so keep a close eye on this thread.

We are the new m0o.
We are the new Burn Eden.
We are the new Mercenary Coalition.
We are the new Cruel Intentions.
We are the new Privateers.
We are Eve University. Hire us or fear us. Your choice.

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Kelduum Revaan
Chief Executive Officer
Eve University <IVY>


APRIL FOOL!

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