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Caldari Navy fits man with extra organ! Reasons unclear!

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Muck Raker Gallente Gutter Press	Posted - 2010.04.22 18:17:00 - [1] Gutter Press spoke to a Caldari militia capsuleer who claims the Navy fitted him with a third nipple! The capsuleer, who does not wish to be named, said that the extra organ was causing problems with his lifestyle. Here is the story, in his own words: "I was out oppressing the scoundrels of the Federales, when through some Gallente trickery, my ship and capsule were destroyed. Such shenanigans are to be expected from the Gallente Menace, but that's not important right now. What is important is that shortly after I awoke in the clone bay of the Navy station where after I had a refreshing drink of Starsi, I found myself to have a 3rd nipple." "I suspected it to have been a Gallente plot. They are renowned for this sort of thing. Hopefully the new Un-Caldari Activites Committee will put a stop to this, and root out any infiltrators." Gutter Press then asked him, if perhaps it was a new technological development, rather than an evil plot. He replied "If it is, then it shows Tibus Heth to be a visionary, capable of seeing far and beyond persons such as myself. For the State!" We asked the Caldari Navy for a statement. A public relations officer replied "Nobody sent you? I only work with people I trust". This issue of "trust", probably means the incident is being covered up right now! Rumours! Wars! Rumours of wars! Wars of rumours!
Jarik Utoni Minmatar Valhalla Industries	Posted - 2010.04.22 18:23:00 - [2] Why do I continue to read these "News items" Clearly what you are describing is neither interesting nor true __________________ -Jarik Utoni, --Cov Ops Pilot ---T2 Frigate Specialist d(^.^)b The Story of Jarik Utoni
Lykouleon Trust Doesn't Rust Ushra'Khan	Posted - 2010.04.22 19:15:00 - [3] This will be dealt with. Quote: CCP Mindstar > Sorry - I've completely messed all that up. lets try again
Kazzzi Amarr Iniquitous Technologies Deep Space Engineering	Posted - 2010.04.22 20:01:00 - [4] WTB extra liver.
Jowen Datloran Caldari Science and Trade Institute	Posted - 2010.04.22 21:28:00 - [5] Ha, I heard some crew members down in the engine room talk about this the other day. It is an amazing world out there alright. ---------------- Mr. Science & Trade Institute - EVE Online Lorebook
Aria Jenneth Caldari Kumiho's Smile	Posted - 2010.04.22 21:34:00 - [6] Originally by: Kazzzi WTB extra liver. If you'd care to stop by their offices, I'm sure Zainou Biotech can come up with something. They could probably even update and improve your current one.
Syyl'ara Gallente Intaki Liberation Front Intaki Prosperity Initiative	Posted - 2010.04.22 23:58:00 - [7] A bit of a crude attempt at satire, but I did chuckle a few times. Thumbs up for relevant social commentary.
Isaac Avernas State Protectorate	Posted - 2010.04.23 03:38:00 - [8] Edited by: Isaac Avernas on 23/04/2010 03:38:19 Got to love satire. Its a wonderful tool for a colonialist power to ease the conscience of its citizens and give them something to guffaw about (or would chortle be more accurate?). Always easier to destroy the culture and identity of the "barbarians" when your only perception of them is a caricature.
Jowen Datloran Caldari Science and Trade Institute	Posted - 2010.04.23 22:59:00 - [9] On the topic of gossip, I heard rumors about the Angels having the ability to induce a clone with a nasty disease of some sort that would haunt you from clone to clone forever, if you ever did the unfortunate thing of animating the infected clone. Scary stuff for capsuleers to be aware of, I say. ---------------- Mr. Science & Trade Institute - EVE Online Lorebook
Syyl'ara Gallente Intaki Liberation Front Intaki Prosperity Initiative	Posted - 2010.04.24 05:06:00 - [10] Originally by: Isaac Avernas Edited by: Isaac Avernas on 23/04/2010 03:38:19 Got to love satire. Its a wonderful tool for a colonialist power to ease the conscience of its citizens and give them something to guffaw about (or would chortle be more accurate?). Always easier to destroy the culture and identity of the "barbarians" when your only perception of them is a caricature. I'm especially amused when satire is followed by irony like this.
NavitasPilot	Posted - 2010.04.24 06:51:00 - [11] Edited by: NavitasPilot on 24/04/2010 06:53:56 Edited by: NavitasPilot on 24/04/2010 06:53:26 Originally by: Jowen Datloran On the topic of gossip, I heard rumors about the Angels having the ability to induce a clone with a nasty disease of some sort that would haunt you from clone to clone forever, if you ever did the unfortunate thing of animating the infected clone. Scary stuff for capsuleers to be aware of, I say. What would be the purpose of this exactly?
Jowen Datloran Caldari Science and Trade Institute	Posted - 2010.04.24 09:29:00 - [12] Originally by: NavitasPilot What would be the purpose of this exactly? To give you a nasty rash that would never go away but haunt you through your immortal life perhaps? Or it could be more sinister, like slow degeneration of your cognitive abilities rendering you a drooling meat sack within a couple of years. I hear those Angels don't take kindly on people who interfere with their agendas. ---------------- Mr. Science & Trade Institute - EVE Online Lorebook
Aria Jenneth Caldari Kumiho's Smile	Posted - 2010.04.24 09:31:00 - [13] Originally by: NavitasPilot Edited by: NavitasPilot on 24/04/2010 06:53:56 Edited by: NavitasPilot on 24/04/2010 06:53:26 Originally by: Jowen Datloran On the topic of gossip, I heard rumors about the Angels having the ability to induce a clone with a nasty disease of some sort that would haunt you from clone to clone forever, if you ever did the unfortunate thing of animating the infected clone. Scary stuff for capsuleers to be aware of, I say. What would be the purpose of this exactly? Oh, extortion, retaliation, the usual. Power over one's enemies, an extra inducement to loyalty for one's friends. If it exists, it's a weapon. What is a weapon for?

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