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Atticus Fynch
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Posted - 2010.05.13 03:58:00 -
[1]
For some unknown reason a memory synapse in my brain fired off a scene from SW ep1. Padme asks Jar-Jar "you're Gungan arent you?"
For some other unknown reason Jar-Jar sarcastically responds "NO! Messa Jewish."
They live on your freakin planet Padme and you have to ask if this orange, floppy eared creature is Gungan? That's the equivalent of a white person on earth going up to a black person and saying "you're black aren't you?" Though there may be exception with Micheal Jackson...but he's dead so let's move on.
What a piece of crap those movies turned out to be. Who wrote that garbage?
Why the obsession with showing how gifted Anakin is. We get it. He doesn't have to build C-3PO to show us. The coincidences where so unbelievable that I'm surprised Han Solo didn't make a cameo as the kid's uncle and Chewbacca as a cousin. The whole kid thing in episode 1 was completely unnecessary. The slavery thing was also unrealistic. They were more akin to indentured servants than actual nose to the millstone slaves.
It would have gone much better if the story had started with Anakin as a 20 year old apprentice Jedi under Obi-wan.
But NOOOOOOO! We had to get into Jedi prophecy which makes no freakin sense and what's with this bull**** Midiclorian count? So the mystical and elusive powers of the force comes down to a blood test?
Then the 2-Sith thing. No more, no less. Way to limit your villains George Lucas.
What gets me is that Princess Leia needed some royal lineage to justify her princess-ship, so here comes queen Amidala as her mother. Yet by episode 3 we see that the whole queen thing was unnecessary because Leia was adopted by another royal/political house. While Luke was given to his uncle.
Padme mysteriously dies at childbirth? Wut? didnt Leia comment on how she remembered her mother? Whatmore, you can make a living tin can out of Anakin but you cant save Padme?
Anakin doesn't evolve into a dark Jedi, but rather whines his way there and for as much emphasis on the evolution of technology at the time placed in the movie, Darth Vader comes forth in the exact same outfit (and mysteriously with a Chicago speaking accent) as he did in ALL the star wars movies. Come'on...modify it a little to show he at least changed clothes between episodes. It's basically a survival suit not a fashion statement.
The dark knights: Maul was uber-cool as an evil guy and it left me wanting more, so what do they give me next...Count Dooku.WTF?
Even the name sucks. Ep2 was utterly confusing.
The star wars prequels was Lucas' chance to show the effects of looking into the abyss. How seductive power can be and how often the easy way is the wrong way. Anakin is the tragic hero led astray by fear and manipulation. He could have had the misguided notion that the dark side can be used for good....but I got non of that from the movies.
Instead I got some horny whining kid that I kept wanting to punch in the face. And what's up with that no marriage thing for Jedis? How are you supposed to make more little Jedis?
This is the topper: Palpatine is around them all the freakin time, yet they don't get one whiff that this guy commands the dark side of the force. They can feel the subtle emotional changes in individual millions of miles away but cant figure out Palatine.
The acting talents of Liam Neeson and Samuel L. Jackson where wasted by poor direction.
I hope the whole series is remade with a more credible story. As for the prequel...Lucas owes us an apology.
/rant
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Culmen
Caldari
Blood Phage Syndicate
Dead Terrorists
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Posted - 2010.05.13 04:16:00 -
[2]
uhhmm... welcome to 8 years ago.
Hows Bush working out for you?
and further more why do i even need a sig? |
Atticus Fynch
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Posted - 2010.05.13 07:35:00 -
[3]
I've been holding this in for 8 years. Just had to get it out.
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Jin Nib
Resplendent Knives
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Posted - 2010.05.13 07:53:00 -
[4]
 Originally by: Atticus Fynch
The acting talents of Liam Neeson and Samuel L. Jackson where wasted by poor direction.
Really? You limit it to those two? What about every other main actor in those things?
Also it wasn't only the poor direction, just listen to the script... It's enough to want to tear out someones larynx and beat them to death with it.
-Jin Nib
Trading on behalf of Opera Noir since:
2009.03.02 03:53:00
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Rawr Cristina
Caldari
Omerta Syndicate
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Posted - 2010.05.13 13:06:00 -
[5]
I've always seen the Star Wars films as children's movies, that way I can just ignore the plot and watch the pewpew
- Malyutka (The Virus) - |
Lt Forge
Pilots From Honour
Aeternus.
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Posted - 2010.05.13 13:16:00 -
[6]
Episode 1 - Watched it only for the pew-pew; those pew-pews in the end.
Episode 2 - Watched it only for the pew-pew; clones anyone?
Episode 3 - Watched it only for the pew-pew; liked the intro.
And the good stuff:
Episode 4 - Watched it for the pew-pew, story and graphics.
Episode 5 - Watched it for the pew-pew, story and graphics.
Episode 6 - Watched it for the pew-pew, story and graphics.
TL;DR: 1+2+3 suck, except the pew-pew, 4+5+6 rule in every way.
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Kara scott
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Posted - 2010.05.13 13:17:00 -
[7]
I actually went to the UK premier of the phantom menace.
I thought it was a load of sh** , and didnt mind telling people afterwards
I do still have an offical programme tho, signed by several of the actors, so maybe Ill make a few quid from that someday..
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Vogue
Mercurialis Inc.
RAZOR Alliance
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Posted - 2010.05.13 14:00:00 -
[8]
I think a problem with the prequels was that the actors had to much reverence to Star Wars which produced wooden acting. Harrison Ford said to George Lucas 'You can write this sh*t but you can't say it'. So as Han Solo he added the swashbuckling pirate to his character. And the other actors went on their own tangents they felt best to produce more fleshed out characters. I think only Ian McDiamired and Christopher Lee had the right way to handle their characters in the prequel.
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Tallaran Kouros
Caldari
Tactical Narcotics Team
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Posted - 2010.05.13 14:21:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Atticus Fynch
Come'on...modify it a little to show he at least changed clothes between episodes. It's basically a survival suit not a fashion statement.
Did you not get the memo?
Black is the new black...
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Malaclypse Muscaria
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Posted - 2010.05.13 14:24:00 -
[10]
The prequels did bring us something pretty good in the end: the opportunity for RedLetterMedia to mercilessly destroy them with his hour and half long reviews.
The Phantom Menace disembowelment.
Fornicating the Attack of the Clones.
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Zyck
Void-Wolf
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Posted - 2010.05.13 16:15:00 -
[11]
Originally by: Malaclypse Muscaria
The prequels did bring us something pretty good in the end: the opportunity for RedLetterMedia to mercilessly destroy them with his hour and half long reviews.
The Phantom Menace disembowelment.
Fornicating the Attack of the Clones.
I really want to watch those, but the guys voice makes me want to jam a knife into my ear drums.
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Whattis
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Posted - 2010.05.13 17:17:00 -
[12]
Not like the originals were much better. They're like the Halo of cinema.
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Vogue
Mercurialis Inc.
RAZOR Alliance
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Posted - 2010.05.13 17:38:00 -
[13]
It was naff how they had a 2nd death star in Return Of The Jedi. Did'nt the first one take like thirty years to build. And the 2nd, bigger one, took something like 5 years 
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Kirra Liu
Echelon Holdings
Echelon.
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Posted - 2010.05.13 17:46:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Vogue
It was naff how they had a 2nd death star in Return Of The Jedi. Did'nt the first one take like thirty years to build. And the 2nd, bigger one, took something like 5 years
Most of the build time for the first would have been actual research, planning, troubleshooting and overall development whereas the second one would only need the actual construction. And why did I even think that, its only a film. 
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Vogue
Mercurialis Inc.
RAZOR Alliance
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Posted - 2010.05.13 18:35:00 -
[15]
And what is most inconceivable is that the Emperor managed to cook the books so the multi zillion Death Star got all the budgeting it needed for resources and manpower.
I am such a nerd i think about these things 
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Gneeznow
Minmatar
Ship spinners inc
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Posted - 2010.05.13 18:36:00 -
[16]
they were all pretty bad tbh, except this part
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Vogue
Mercurialis Inc.
RAZOR Alliance
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Posted - 2010.05.13 18:41:00 -
[17]
I like a lot of old scifi films from the 60's and 70's. Like 2001 a space odessey, Collosus - The Forbin project and Darkstar. They were about how the future would be with hyper advanced technology and sentient computers.
It could be said that Star Wars did a lot of damage to scifi films as its basically fantasy in space with pew pew and made 'thinking' scifi films unfashionable.
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Jin Nib
Resplendent Knives
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Posted - 2010.05.13 19:15:00 -
[18]
Originally by: Vogue
It could be said that Star Wars did a lot of damage to scifi films as its basically fantasy in space with pew pew and made 'thinking' scifi films unfashionable.
Dont think so, there have been plenty of "thinking" sci-fi movies since. Moon being the most recent I can recall.
-Jin Nib
Trading on behalf of Opera Noir since:
2009.03.02 03:53:00
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Slade Trillgon
Endless Possibilities Inc.
Ushra'Khan
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Posted - 2010.05.13 22:35:00 -
[19]
The story may have been okay with a few alterations and an actor overhaul.
Originally by: Jin Nib
Dont think so, there have been plenty of "thinking" sci-fi movies since. Moon being the most recent I can recall.
I will add Enemy Mine to the list.
Slade
:Signature Temporarily Disabled: |
Toshiro GreyHawk
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Posted - 2010.05.14 05:12:00 -
[20]
Eh ... I hated Enemy Mine. It's the old Hollywood switcheroo ... Oh he's my evil opponent ... Eh he's not such a bad guy ... Uh ... now he's a she and ... I'm a surrogate uncle?
Politically correct Hollywood horse **** just makes me want to puke.
Dark Star was great though.
As to Star Wars ...
I think the real problem with everything after Episode IV - was that ... it came after Episode IV. It's like the same problem all the Star Trek things have. They came after the original series.
In each case, the thing that came first was so new - in it's way - that everything that came after it was going to suffer by comparison.
There's a lot of lame **** in original Star Trek and there's some lame **** in Episode IV.
The thing was - Lucas had a vision and he directed Episode IV himself ... and pretty much ruined his marriage and gave himself a nervous break down doing it. So - after that - he didn't have as much involvement.
The other thing was they tried to outdo Episode IV. Look at Jabba The Hut's palace. The aliens in it - look like cartoons. They frakking look like 3D cartoons. They were trying to outdo the bar scene - and here finally had the money to exercise Luca's vision ... and we got 3D Cartoons. So there may have been something to be said for financial reality reigning in Luca's vision. And ... the whole farce with Yoda living in a swamp ... then the idea that Darth Vadar is Luke's father - which without the understanding of what happened in Episode 1-3 seemed preposterous at the time.
Ewoks. Need I say more about that?
I've got like dozens of things I can say bad and good.
In Episode IV - the way the fighters were in flights of 4 and the attack craft in flights of 3 showed something people who knew something about fighters and bombers would pick up on but which I imagine went right over the heads of non-military types.
I really liked the scope of Episodes I-III. The look of the cities gave you a real feel that this was a galactic civilization.
Jar-Jar was a disaster but ... they mostly left him out of the rest - except to have he - the idiot put in position to create a real problem.
Anakin ... at first I hated him in all of them but then I sorta got used to him and could look past it.
As a whole ... I think part of the problem was that the story Lucas was trying to tell needed more than 12 hours to be told. It was a very complex story and a lot of things that weren't believable happening as fast as they did could have been better done if there were more time to allow them to develop. Here - I've got Buffy and Babylon 5 as an example of how things can develop over a long period of time. Try to imagine those things crammed into 12 (or so) hours.
Orbiting vs. Kiting
Faction Schools |
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Nooma K'Larr
Minmatar
Cat's Cradle
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Posted - 2010.05.14 11:30:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Vogue
It was naff how they had a 2nd death star in Return Of The Jedi. Did'nt the first one take like thirty years to build. And the 2nd, bigger one, took something like 5 years
they had a chance to do PE research on the Death Star BPO thus cutting down time.
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CSM - Bring back Medium Shader! |
Arec Bardwin
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Posted - 2010.05.14 12:13:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Atticus Fynch
I've been holding this in for 8 years. Just had to get it out.
And we are your agony aunts? 
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Lord MuffloN
Caldari
Sigillum Militum Xpisti
R.A.G.E
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Posted - 2010.05.14 12:56:00 -
[23]
What Star Wars prequels? There's just three movies, right?
/s
Originally by: Jago Kain
If they ever decide to award a Nobel Prize for Emo, Lord MuffloN is a sure fire winner of the first on |
Toshiro GreyHawk
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Posted - 2010.05.14 14:27:00 -
[24]
Originally by: Nooma K'Larr
Originally by: Vogue
It was naff how they had a 2nd death star in Return Of The Jedi. Did'nt the first one take like thirty years to build. And the 2nd, bigger one, took something like 5 years
they had a chance to do PE research on the Death Star BPO thus cutting down time.
Actually ... and I could easily be wrong about this ... I had the impression that both Death Stars were under construction at the same time, one was just started before the other. Thus, when the first one got blown up - the second was was already well under way. But again ... you're gonna need some Star Wars scholar more involved in the franchise than I am to confirm that ... if it was so. This is all I could find and ... there's no real mention of just when the second one was started on. Check out the picture of the "Death Star" in orbit around Saturn. 
Orbiting vs. Kiting
Faction Schools |
defiler
Mad Hermit
Wayward Alliance
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Posted - 2010.05.14 15:48:00 -
[25]
But... the second one was allegedly even more powerful than the first - a Tech II version if you will.
We can't know for sure if the empire had won the BPO lottery or was working with an invented BPC, but in either case the manufacturing time would be much higher than the original (which they'd need one unit of btw). Someone better ask Mr Lucas about this, even movie spaceships are serious business.
Also, I agree that episode 1-3 are mostly rubbish. They did however make me realise that 4-6 aren't terribly good either. Top-notch entertainment, sure, but Good Movies? Naah.
Minding our own business since 2004 |
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