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Syn Callibri
Minmatar
Blacklight Incorporated
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Posted - 2010.07.06 21:34:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Syn Callibri on 06/07/2010 21:46:46
Edited by: Syn Callibri on 06/07/2010 21:45:05
I really don't know why Im writing this...
It was some fool that apparently knew me before...my pathetic other self that died some months ago and a short time after the gift I was given by Revan Neferis was blown out of space.
Needless to say I was not in a good mood...anyway, this fool saunters up to me in the station's bar I frequent and believes that there is some "connection" between us...all I know is that he used me when I was weak and I hated him for it.
As this Rivvil kisses me I slowly stand up pulling him to me as I slip my knife into him just below the ribs. He tries to seperate from me, but its too late.
Thats when he convulsed slightly, not much more than a hiccup or a cough...then I tasted it, the blood on my tounge, his blood, hard to describe the taste really. There was something else too, something...mystical, like a rush of adreneline...or some drug.
I started to feel heady almost intoxicated, warm...as if there was some energy flooding through me...what it is I don't know...maybe I shouldn't know.
-Syn
"Dosst vlos zhah ussta ultrinnan" |
Silas Vitalia
Khanid Provincial Vanguard
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Posted - 2010.07.06 21:37:00 -
[2]
A credit to her race, this one.
Silas Vitalia
CEO Khanid Provincial Vanguard
Open for Recruitment!
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Nikita Alterana
Gallente
Risen Angels
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Posted - 2010.07.06 21:57:00 -
[3]
funny how such a small thing can have such a large effect.
Quite funny indeed.
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Kimochi Rendar
Veto.
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Posted - 2010.07.07 09:25:00 -
[4]
Sounds like someone has a blood fetish... Another one to add to the list of Space Vampires perhaps? |
foksieloy
Minmatar
Universal Army
Ushra'Khan
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Posted - 2010.07.07 09:31:00 -
[5]
 Originally by: Silas Vitalia
A credit to her race, this one.
It was not her race that started the trend. |
Syn Callibri
Minmatar
Blacklight Incorporated
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Posted - 2010.07.07 14:31:00 -
[6]
Edited by: Syn Callibri on 07/07/2010 14:36:03
Originally by: Silas Vitalia
A credit to her race, this one.
Even though it was the Amarr that birthed the Blood Cults (No offense to the Thrice Illustrious Soverign) originally, I'll take your comment as a compliment.
The reason for this little nugget of curiosity is actually quite simple...I wonder if what I experienced is the proverbial "tip of the iceberg". Is this feeling the same thing that the Thrice Illustrious Soverign Neferis and her followers experience? I thought that sharing the strange sensation might allow me to gain some enlightenment on the matter.
Ever since I "awakened" from my pathetic former existence, it seems like I see things through the eyes of a child sometimes...so many things are strange and new, so many new sensations.
"Dosst vlos zhah ussta ultrinnan" |
Revan Neferis
The Archaeus of Blood
The Final Stand.
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Posted - 2010.07.07 14:37:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Syn Callibri
The reason for this little nugget of curiosity is actually quite simple...I wonder if what I experienced is the proverbial "tip of the iceberg". Is this feeling the same thing that the Thrice Illustrious Soverign Neferis and her followers experience? I thought that sharing the strange sensation might allow me to gain some enlightenment on the matter.
* Raises an eyebrow observing still *
This may become interesting or totally dull. I'll say more on the matter depending of what direction it takes.
Revan Neferis
Thrice-Illustrious Sovereign
Sani Sabik
Totally pagan, totally beautiful, totally worshipful. This is life
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Syn Callibri
Minmatar
Blacklight Incorporated
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Posted - 2010.07.07 15:06:00 -
[8]
Edited by: Syn Callibri on 07/07/2010 15:08:54
Those who know me understand that there are fragments of my old "self" that I have managed to recapture...some of which I wish I had not...
<snears with disgust at the memory>
...one that intrigues me is a book...a dark, thick, heavy book that my former "caretaker" owned and always kept secreted away from public view. From the few times I saw it one word in Amarrian stood out to me Sani Sabik which in Amarrian means "bloodfriends"...I know this is totally obvious to most.
I know (from the fragments of memory that I've recovered...dreams mostly) that this book held some importance to me before, a sort of unyielding pull at something inside my head my soul maybe...she, me, I whatever, was obsessed with it.
A lot of these revelations took place after the run in with the Rivvil idiot at the bar. Strange dreams started coming to me after I had tasted his lifeblood...and Im not a strong believer in coincidence. I dont understand what is happening to me and what it means.
(edit for spelling and grammar)
"Dosst vlos zhah ussta ultrinnan" |
Masamune Kuroda
Caldari
Cerberus Incorporated
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Posted - 2010.07.07 15:40:00 -
[9]
Ms. Callibri, I would like to use this opportunity to offer you counselling and therapy at one of our private medical facilities. It is obvious you are suffering from deep psychological trauma and could benefit from expert help, while I have here at my desk a memo from the project lead at the Psychology Department of our Exotic Projects Division requesting capsuleer specimens suffering from any kind of mental disorder for statistical analysis and treatment research. So you might be able to help us out as well, as volunteers are preferred.
The offer is extended to everyone who might feel eligible, of course. EPD has state of the art facilities in nullsec space ensuring your period of treatment and recuperation will not, in any way, be interrupted.
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Syn Callibri
Minmatar
Blacklight Incorporated
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Posted - 2010.07.07 15:49:00 -
[10]
Edited by: Syn Callibri on 07/07/2010 15:52:05
Originally by: Masamune Kuroda
Ms. Callibri, I would like to use this opportunity to offer you counselling and therapy at one of our private medical facilities. It is obvious you are suffering from deep psychological trauma and could benefit from expert help, while I have here at my desk a memo from the project lead at the Psychology Department of our Exotic Projects Division requesting capsuleer specimens suffering from any kind of mental disorder for statistical analysis and treatment research. So you might be able to help us out as well, as volunteers are preferred.
The offer is extended to everyone who might feel eligible, of course. EPD has state of the art facilities in nullsec space ensuring your period of treatment and recuperation will not, in any way, be interrupted.
Confusion and a lack of understanding about things that are happening in ones life (which tends to happen when activation takes place without a download from what I understand) are a far cry from mental illness and unless you or your colleagues can coujure up the shade that was once me or raise the dead, I think your services will be of little use to me...but thank you anyway. Answers...answers are what I need...what I desire.
"Dosst vlos zhah ussta ultrinnan" |
Revan Neferis
The Archaeus of Blood
The Final Stand.
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Posted - 2010.07.07 16:01:00 -
[11]
Originally by: Syn Callibri
Answers...answers are what I need...what I desire.
There's a famous axiom of occultism. It says:
The truth is always hidden in plain sight.
Revan Neferis
Thrice-Illustrious Sovereign
Sani Sabik
Totally pagan, totally beautiful, totally worshipful. This is life
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Masamune Kuroda
Caldari
Cerberus Incorporated
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Posted - 2010.07.07 16:05:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Syn Callibri
Confusion and a lack of understanding about things that are happening in ones life (which tends to happen when activation takes place without a download from what I understand) are a far cry from mental illness and unless you or your colleagues can coujure up the shade that was once me or raise the dead, I think your services will be of little use to me...but thank you anyway. Answers...answers are what I need...what I desire.
I was referring more to your fascination with the cannibalistic rituals and tendencies of some cults. Such interests are unhealthy by themselves, but more to the point, fascination with them implies some sort of a psychological trauma. These cultists actually break the personality of prospective members before fully accepting them in their ranks, often inflicting severe mental trauma which results in pathological behavior patterns.
I am no expert of course, but it occurs to me that you might have in fact been traumatized by them or subjected to a similar situation before and you have repressed the memory of it. Our trained psychologists might know more.
Seek answers from science, Ms. Callibri, that is the only advice I can extend, and hope you shall resolve your issues in a proper, humane manner.
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Nikita Alterana
Gallente
Risen Angels
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Posted - 2010.07.07 16:10:00 -
[13]
answers...bah, who needs those anyway.
You all talk of blood like its some sort of brilliant gateway drug, the window to some higher understanding. You're nothing but deluded idiots. There is no higher understanding, there is no greater force, there is no deeper meaning. This is all there is to the world, you'll be better off once you realize that.
That rush you feel when you take someone's life, when you feel their blood on your hands, on your lips? Its nothing. Nothing but your mind letting go, letting your dark pleasures surface, the darkness in your mind unbound, it is...liberating, I'll give it that.
But you'll find no higher meaning from it. Violence is nothing but a tool, a means to an end. Be that pleasure, wealth, power, influence....but the act itself is meaningless.
Its what you get out of it that matters.
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Syn Callibri
Minmatar
Blacklight Incorporated
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Posted - 2010.07.07 16:46:00 -
[14]
Edited by: Syn Callibri on 07/07/2010 16:47:58
"The truth is always hidden in plain sight."
"...it occurs to me that you might have in fact been traumatized by them or subjected to a similar situation before and you have repressed the memory of it."
"...your mind letting go, letting your dark pleasures surface, the darkness in your mind unbound..."
<Syn closes her eyes letting the words echo in her mind over and over as she whispers to herself...>
"Veldrin d'ussta draeval p'los mrigg uns'aa ulu l'an'yui."
(the vision)
Images and sounds storm-surge in rapid-fire sequence...The master...the Mistress...the book...the chanting...the blood...so much blood...the cries for mercy...the laughter...
<clairity>
I remember the Master's voice reading from the dark book to me after he had beaten me for his trangressions...
I remember the Mistress bathing herself with the blood chanting about eternal life...
"L'vlos zhah dro."
<"The blood is life" in Syn's native tounge>
...there were ships, full of sleeping passengers...sleeping crew...everyone sleeping...never waking.
...the name Sarikusa over and over from the Master and Mistress...
...the children!
Syn's eyes snap open, her teeth clenched tightly together as tears run down her cheeks...
"I remember."
"Dosst vlos zhah ussta ultrinnan" |
Victoria Stecker
Amarr
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Posted - 2010.07.08 00:01:00 -
[15]
Edited by: Victoria Stecker on 08/07/2010 00:01:45
The first taste is always the sweetest, isn't it? You might be wisest to get out while you still can, dear. Sticking around too long can have... consequences.
In the embrace of Hell, I am no longer afraid, for with His damned embrace, I have become that which I once most feared: Death. |
Kaito Kenshin
Twilight Labs
Unsung Voices
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Posted - 2010.07.08 01:54:00 -
[16]
I would encourage you to push these desires aside, and to seek professional psychiatric help in doing so if necessary. These cannibilistic mystics would love to see you debase yourself to their level of primitive, uncontrolled barbarism, because that would justify their own fall from humanity. Read their responses to you carefully--you amuse them at best.
Surely you can find a better role to play in civilized humanity. Wisdom is about the control of your instincts and the channeling of your desires to productive purpose. Getting endorphine rushes from murder and the taste of bodily fluids is does not fit into that.
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Syn Callibri
Minmatar
Blacklight Incorporated
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Posted - 2010.07.08 13:40:00 -
[17]
I understand your perspectives and appreciate your words of caution...but I want to know, need to know what all of these shattered and fragmented images mean. Honestly, I believe that only the Sani Sabik can give me those answers.
"Dosst vlos zhah ussta ultrinnan" |
Kaito Kenshin
Twilight Labs
Unsung Voices
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Posted - 2010.07.08 14:11:00 -
[18]
Granted, I don't know you. But these sound like bad dreams or repressed memories. If you want to know what they mean, you want a psychiatrist. The Sani Sabik will simply twist them into what they want them to mean, twisting you in the process. A cult does not offer objective truths. It looks like your mind is already made up, though.
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Syn Callibri
Minmatar
Blacklight Incorporated
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Posted - 2010.07.08 18:52:00 -
[19]
Edited by: Syn Callibri on 08/07/2010 18:53:28
Originally by: Kaito Kenshin
Granted, I don't know you. But these sound like bad dreams or repressed memories. If you want to know what they mean, you want a psychiatrist. The Sani Sabik will simply twist them into what they want them to mean, twisting you in the process. A cult does not offer objective truths. It looks like your mind is already made up, though.
Its not a matter of making up my mind...its a matter of wishing to converse with those that hold the information, the same information that my former Master and Mistress held..."The Experts" if you will and I have been told that in matters of the occult, that the Dread Soverign has few peers. Besides, I have spoken with her before on other matters in the past and walked away unscathed, wiser, and grateful for her insights.
Unlike many of you, she didn't give thought to "your distubed...deluded...you need help...a space vampire, etc...". She listened patiently, and offered her thoughts, nothing more. So in that respect...she has a point above the rest of you. She if nothing else, has my respect.
"Dosst vlos zhah ussta ultrinnan" |
Kaito Kenshin
Twilight Labs
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Posted - 2010.07.08 19:24:00 -
[20]
I didn't mean to call you anything. I merely suggested psychiatric help. It isn't something to be ashamed of, especially to those who lived lives as strange as ours. Heaven's know it helped me make a better life for myself.
As for the negative reactions you have gotten, can you really expect people to react positively to the consumption of that which keeps them alive? It goes against civilized nature, and is thus forbidden by most societies.
I won't bother you with any more unwanted advice. Just know that the cult will not teach you to understand and deal with issues such as these...they teach you to give in to them. There's a difference.
Let's fill the stars with love! |
Revan Neferis
The Archaeus of Blood
The Final Stand.
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Posted - 2010.07.08 19:47:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Syn Callibri
The only thing that has been plainly in sight recently has been you, Dread One and the Sani Sabik beliefs (considering our conversations). Do you know...would you show me what all of these "things" bouncing around in my head mean, at your convenience...naturally.
The lips of wisdom are closed except to the ears of understanding.
Do you want answers? There are none. The knowledge of a Sani Sabik is bestowed upon Initiations, Rituals of several degrees.
What you must realize is, your answer matters not. The question is that will lead you to the main point of this all: What will you do when you find what you seek?
Strip yourself of fears, judgements, good and evil. Are you ready to surrender it all for a quest of no return?
If not, turn now and return to the life of the populace who are not of us.
If yes, know that the price of a soul isn't free.
Take my words now and rest upon them.
Revan Neferis
Thrice-Illustrious Sovereign
Sani Sabik
Totally pagan, totally beautiful, totally worshipful. This is life
|
Masamune Kuroda
Caldari
Cerberus Incorporated
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Posted - 2010.07.08 20:11:00 -
[22]
The capacity of some people to indulge themselves in quaint mysticism in this age of science and reason never fails to amaze me.
Once again I extend an invitation to visit one of our really superb facilities, Ms. Callibri. You will not regret it, our experts will do anything in their power to help you. The offer is extended to Ms. Neferis as well - in fact I know for certain our head of Psychology Department would be positively thrilled with an opportunity to probe a mind as clinically interesting as yours, Ms. Neferis.
Occult is an illusion, Ms. Callibri, an empty mirage of knowledge without real substance. You will not find any answers in those murky waters.
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Syn Callibri
Minmatar
Blacklight Incorporated
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Posted - 2010.07.08 20:21:00 -
[23]
Edited by: Syn Callibri on 08/07/2010 20:25:59
Originally by: Revan Neferis
Take my words now and rest upon them.
Revan Neferis
Thrice-Illustrious Sovereign
Sani Sabik
As before...Dread One, your words strike to the very core of my conflict...glory to you for deeming it worthy of your time. I will meditate on your words and contact you again when the answer presents itself...if it would please you for me to do so.
*lowers to one knee looking Revan in the eyes*
"L'vlos zhah dro"...Dread Illustrious Soverign.
@ Kuroda: With all do respect...You forget one thing sir. I am Matari, the very essance of our exsistance and culture is steeped in mysticism and occultism.
"Dosst vlos zhah ussta ultrinnan" |
Masamune Kuroda
Caldari
Cerberus Incorporated
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Posted - 2010.07.08 20:39:00 -
[24]
I know several Matari very well Ms. Callibri and I can tell you for certain that I haven't met more down to earth and pragmatic people. You see, there is a difference between rich folklore and mysticism. Or, as they would say, "occultism never fixed a leaking coolant pipe".
Furthermore as far as I am aware, personal freedom and responsibility - not supplication - is a concept of paramount importance in Matari culture. Sani Sabik are by their very definition a negation of that idea.
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Zaranchek Xanthus
Amarr
The Final Stand.
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Posted - 2010.07.08 20:41:00 -
[25]
Originally by: Masamune Kuroda
Occult is an illusion, Ms. Callibri, an empty mirage of knowledge without real substance.
Tell that to the Alliances, Corporations and People dying every day because Revan wills it.
And those proteus she has gifted Jade to be used at war too seem pretty real to me.
If the Sani Sabik Influence and Wallet are Illusions considering the consequences of it, you have a pretty weak case there dude. You better redefine reality.
Doctor, heal thy self?
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Revan Neferis
The Archaeus of Blood
The Final Stand.
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Posted - 2010.07.08 20:43:00 -
[26]
Originally by: Syn Callibri
As before...Dread One, your words strike to the very core of my conflict...glory to you for deeming it worthy of your time. I will meditate on your words and contact you again when the answer presents itself...if it would please you for me to do so.
So mote it be.
Revan Neferis
Thrice-Illustrious Sovereign
Sani Sabik
Totally pagan, totally beautiful, totally worshipful. This is life
|
Syn Callibri
Minmatar
Blacklight Incorporated
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Posted - 2010.07.08 20:53:00 -
[27]
Edited by: Syn Callibri on 08/07/2010 20:57:22
Originally by: Masamune Kuroda
I know several Matari very well Ms. Callibri and I can tell you for certain that I haven't met more down to earth and pragmatic people. You see, there is a difference between rich folklore and mysticism. Or, as they would say, "occultism never fixed a leaking coolant pipe".
Furthermore as far as I am aware, personal freedom and responsibility - not supplication - is a concept of paramount importance in Matari culture. Sani Sabik are by their very definition a negation of that idea.
Good doctor...I am Syn, only daughter to the chief of the Callibri Tribe, the last as far as I know. The only one of my tribe to sail as one with the stars, unfettered by gravity. The first not to be tied to mortality...an immortal...a god!
Since...I am the last, and female...that makes me Ilharess Syn, d'l'qu'ellar Callibri...Matron of my House by birthright. I will do what I must to see my tribe and my house known for its greatness or feared for its wrath!
Your concern is appreciated, but no longer required.
"Dosst vlos zhah ussta ultrinnan" |
Kaito Kenshin
Twilight Labs
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Posted - 2010.07.08 21:05:00 -
[28]
OK, now I will say that you are disturbed and deluded. Just one more on the long list of capsuleers gone insane. *sigh*
Let's fill the stars with love! |
Syn Callibri
Minmatar
Blacklight Incorporated
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Posted - 2010.07.08 21:21:00 -
[29]
Edited by: Syn Callibri on 08/07/2010 21:21:52
Originally by: Kaito Kenshin
OK, now I will say that you are disturbed and deluded. Just one more on the long list of capsuleers gone insane. *sigh*
How am I insane...isn't it fact that no matter the method, time, or horrible nature of our "deaths" we rise again, smarter, wiser, better, are we not immortal by definition?
Should I live to be three-hundred and die of old age, will I not rise again no older than I am now? Isn't that what all of the legends of gods, angels, and demons attribute to them?
Why is it deluded to want what is mine by birth and was stripped away by circumstance?
Why is it disturbed to call myself by the name and title that is mine alone to have?
"Dosst vlos zhah ussta ultrinnan" |
Masamune Kuroda
Caldari
Cerberus Incorporated
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Posted - 2010.07.08 22:30:00 -
[30]
Ms. Callibri, immortality does not absolve one from their duties and responsibilities as a human being. To reject those, as the blood cults preach, is to become *less* than human, not more. Furthermore, it is science, not occultism, which grants you all your abilities as a capsuleer. We are not gods, we are just technologically endowed. And as any combat captain will tell you, our abilities are far from limitless.
Mr. Xanthus, it seems you are, mistakenly, linking someone's personal wealth and influence with their occult "powers", when in fact money and charisma are quite enough to do the trick. But you are certainly not alone - in fact, a quick browse through some of our previous case studies amongst their kind indicate that the cult leadership is often very aware of this mechanism and have quite a cynical attitude towards it.
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