Sarik Olecar
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
39
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Posted - 2012.08.03 15:44:00 -
[1] - Quote
Oooh, my turn!
***
Pirate Fairy Tale: CCP Trying to get people back into Losec
There once were three little pirates who went into losec commit debauchery and find booty.
The first pirate roamed around losec in his Hurricane, until he found a Badger at a gate. He immediately landed tackle and began to blow away the carebears ship - his Hurricane shrugging of the GG's with ease. When the Badger hit structure, he convoed the bear and boasted with a gruff, confident voice.
"50M ISK and I'll let yeh live!"
The carebear, this being his first taste of PVP, agreed without hesitation, quickly paying the ransom.
Once the pirate saw his wallet flash, he smiled - then immediately destroyed both the badger and the carebear's pod.
Feeling quite jaded waking up in a new clone, the carebear vowed to never trust a pirate again.
A little while later, the second pirate, quite distraught by the lack of easy targets in losec, decided he would get some friends (read: alts) together in instalocking T3's and set up a camp. Our carebear friend, now having skilled up a nice Drake, decided he would try losec again, maybe to do some exploration.
He jumped straight into the pirates gate camp and was tackled before he could even align. The pirates laughed at his attempt to burn back to the gate - their Loki's having web him to 0. They convoed the bear and in a hysteric voice, demanded.
"Gimme 100M ISK and we'll let you go!"
The carebear's previous betrayal still fresh in his mind, responded with butthurt.
"**** you."
His ship was promptly destroyed, though he managed to save his pod.
The carebear made a note of this, and vowed never to bring anything big into losec again.
The third pirate had been becoming increasingly self-concious that his KB stats didn't quite reflect the level of "1337ness" he was sure he possessed. So he devised an strategy to remedy this, grabbing his Erberus and smartbombing an important Hisec chock-point.
Our carebear friend had been doing research, and discovered that the best way to travel losec was in a Shuttle or fast frigate. Having some BPO's he wanted researched, he loaded up his nanoed Vigil and head off for the only station left in the game with slots open.
Upon loading the grid, however, he was immediately blown away by the pirates titan, waking up in his home station, a good chunk of his assets now vaporized.
The "1337" pirate sent him the KM, with the subject line "lol nub".
The carebear vowed that he would never bother with losec again.
***
Fast forward a few years, and losec is dead, with most systems completely empty. I wonder why? |