Originally by: Tobias Sjodin

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Helicity's untimely demise was foretold in the brick prophecies. It was his/her fate.

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Originally by: Darius III

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To you masses of filthy commoners who aspire to obtain, yet cannot afford the monocle, I give you a message: You are beneath the dirt on my precision boots. I would need a telescope to look so far down upon your writhing unwashed masses that in fact, I get vertigo just thinking about it. You commoners should refrain from posting about your unhappiness and return to mining veldspar or whatever it is you do with your time and leave forum posting to those of us literate and considerate enough to behave like true gentlemen whilst visiting these forums. I order you, my un-monocled vassals, to return to the fields at once and resume your toil and peasantry. That is all, consider yourselves dismissed, Your high lord an Emperor, CSM Darius III

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Originally by: enterprisePSI

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Confirming that if i where to receive an anonymous donation of 4 plex, i will immediately get a monocle.

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Originally by: Ray Tucker

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I'm at a loss for words, except maybe "hahaha, look at the scrub who actually bought one"

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Originally by: Fredfredbug4

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I support all Monocle owners. Please think of me, someone who does not own a monocle as swine rather than the scum of the earth and I will be very thankful.

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Originally by: freelaptop pls

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tl;dr

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Originally by: Brooks Puuntai

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Originally by: enterprisePSI

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Confirming that if i where to receive an anonymous donation of 4 plex, i will immediately get a monocle.

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You would think that either:

-4 Months of playtime
-1 Fully fit rigged carrier
-1 Dreadnaught
-2 t2 BSs
-30 t1 BSs
-16 t2 cruisers

Would be a better use of those plexes. Just saying.

*Figures are a rough estimate and maybe slightly off.

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Originally by: Templar Dane

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OP is like two days late for the funny that was the original monocle thread.

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Originally by: Darius III

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Edited by: Darius III on 24/06/2011 13:51:18
If you have not yet purchased a monocle, I think you are pubbie scum who are not worthy of the attentions of such grand and noble folk who possess one. Sure I was mad at CCP at first, but after careful consideration, I decided that until I had worn the monocle, I could not judge. I assumed that the experience would only highlight the poor choice by CCP to price them out of reach of most players. It was after careful consideration, in my opinion, that I needed a monocle to see for myself if my assumption that they were overpriced was correct.

I assure you gentlemen and commoners alike-the monocle is indeed a good value. After purchasing my monocle, I had a most exquisite sense of empowerment. Nary a day goes buy that I do not relish and cherish the experience. It has indeed added value to my subscription and my perception of Eve Online. The act of donning the monocle has improved my self esteem, attracted copious amounts of the fairer sex, and-preliminary reports are suggesting-that it has improved the fuel economy of my automobile. Further, my male organ appears to have been getting larger. I visited my private physician, and much to his surprise, it seems to have cured my chronic syphilis as well as having improved my vocabulary.

I implore thee, other owners of such masterfully crafted eyewear-make yourselves known, that we may, as a group, extoll the virtues of ownership of such an exquisite, yet fashionable gem as the eyepiece provided to us by our peers at CCP. I have made it known to my alliance that I will in fact no longer take orders from any of the other directors who are not similarly attired with the looking glass.

To you masses of filthy commoners who aspire to obtain, yet cannot afford the monocle, I give you a message: You are beneath the dirt on my precision boots. I would need a telescope to look so far down upon your writhing unwashed masses that in fact, I get vertigo just thinking about it. You commoners should refrain from posting about your unhappiness and return to mining veldspar or whatever it is you do with your time and leave forum posting to those of us literate and considerate enough to behave like true gentlemen whilst visiting these forums. I order you, my un-monocled vassals, to return to the fields at once and resume your toil and peasantry. That is all, consider yourselves dismissed, Your high lord an Emperor, CSM Darius III

Additionally I would like to state, at the bequest of a particularily informed commoner, my belief that "As for Helicity, she was the weakest link, and has thus been eliminated" I dare say had she purchased a monocle, her masters at CCP (my peers) may have showed more leniency towards her. Since she is not similarly bespectacled however she got what she deserved. No begone, rabble and commoners alike!

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Originally by: Apocryphal Noise

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Nice satire.

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Originally by: NeoShocker

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LAWL Darius, I seriously thought you were trolling when you told me on mumble, but seeing your avatar with the monocle, you wasn't kidding, lol

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Originally by: Rexxov

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Might I say sir, that in fact the eyepiece looks stunning on you. I daresay none of the other CSM have supported CCP by purchasing such a splendid and fashionable bauble. Thier loss. Also, your Syphilis is cured? Does that mean my mother can look forward to seeing you again? She really misses you....

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Originally by: Brooks Puuntai

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Originally by: enterprisePSI

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Confirming that if i where to receive an anonymous donation of 4 plex, i will immediately get a monocle.

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You would think that either:

-4 Months of playtime
-1 Fully fit rigged carrier
-1 Dreadnaught
-2 t2 BSs
-30 t1 BSs
-16 t2 cruisers

Would be a better use of those plexes. Just saying.

*Figures are a rough estimate and maybe slightly off.

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Originally by: Darius III

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Edited by: Darius III on 24/06/2011 13:51:18
If you have not yet purchased a monocle, I think you are pubbie scum who are not worthy of the attentions of such grand and noble folk who possess one. Sure I was mad at CCP at first, but after careful consideration, I decided that until I had worn the monocle, I could not judge. I assumed that the experience would only highlight the poor choice by CCP to price them out of reach of most players. It was after careful consideration, in my opinion, that I needed a monocle to see for myself if my assumption that they were overpriced was correct.

I assure you gentlemen and commoners alike-the monocle is indeed a good value. After purchasing my monocle, I had a most exquisite sense of empowerment. Nary a day goes buy that I do not relish and cherish the experience. It has indeed added value to my subscription and my perception of Eve Online. The act of donning the monocle has improved my self esteem, attracted copious amounts of the fairer sex, and-preliminary reports are suggesting-that it has improved the fuel economy of my automobile. Further, my male organ appears to have been getting larger. I visited my private physician, and much to his surprise, it seems to have cured my chronic syphilis as well as having improved my vocabulary.

I implore thee, other owners of such masterfully crafted eyewear-make yourselves known, that we may, as a group, extoll the virtues of ownership of such an exquisite, yet fashionable gem as the eyepiece provided to us by our peers at CCP. I have made it known to my alliance that I will in fact no longer take orders from any of the other directors who are not similarly attired with the looking glass.

To you masses of filthy commoners who aspire to obtain, yet cannot afford the monocle, I give you a message: You are beneath the dirt on my precision boots. I would need a telescope to look so far down upon your writhing unwashed masses that in fact, I get vertigo just thinking about it. You commoners should refrain from posting about your unhappiness and return to mining veldspar or whatever it is you do with your time and leave forum posting to those of us literate and considerate enough to behave like true gentlemen whilst visiting these forums. I order you, my un-monocled vassals, to return to the fields at once and resume your toil and peasantry. That is all, consider yourselves dismissed, Your high lord an Emperor, CSM Darius III

Additionally I would like to state, at the bequest of a particularily informed commoner, my belief that "As for Helicity, she was the weakest link, and has thus been eliminated" I dare say had she purchased a monocle, her masters at CCP (my peers) may have showed more leniency towards her. Since she is not similarly bespectacled however she got what she deserved. No begone, rabble and commoners alike!

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Originally by: Darius III

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Meh. You have no idea of the power and respect I command now that I am properly bespectacled. D3

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Originally by: Minigin

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We are the angry mob
We read the papers everyday day
We like who like
We hate who we hate
But we're also easily swayed

We are the angry mob
We read the papers everyday day
We like who like
We hate who we hate
But we're also easily swayed

We are the angry mob
We read the papers everyday day
We like who like
We hate who we hate
But we're also easily swayed

We are the angry mob
We read the papers everyday day
We like who like
We hate who we hate
But we're also easily swayed

We are the angry mob
We read the papers everyday day
We like who like
We hate who we hate
But we're also easily swayed

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Originally by: Darius III

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Originally by: Templar Dane

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OP is like two days late for the funny that was the original monocle thread.

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Unfortunately for me I can't/wouldn't want to try to keep up with the 9,274.5 rage threads since the release. I see the whole thing as harmful to Eve, and it isn't fun for me. That being said, I am trying to have whatever fun I can with the situation. Besides, I am certain my thread > original thread. Now return to your scullery duties, or buy a monocle for yourself and join me on the council of nobles.

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Originally by: Apocryphal Noise

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Nice satire.

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Originally by: Brooks Puuntai

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Originally by: enterprisePSI

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Confirming that if i where to receive an anonymous donation of 4 plex, i will immediately get a monocle.

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You would think that either:

-4 Months of playtime
-1 Fully fit rigged carrier
-1 Dreadnaught
-2 t2 BSs
-30 t1 BSs
-16 t2 cruisers

Would be a better use of those plexes. Just saying.

*Figures are a rough estimate and maybe slightly off.

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Originally by: Tarminic

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OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

Originally by: Crumplecorn

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I'm wearing two monocles ATM, and now I see things from CCP's perspective.

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Originally by: Darius III

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Edited by: Darius III on 24/06/2011 13:51:18
If you have not yet purchased a monocle...

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Originally by: lilol' me

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all i need to say is your avatar looks stupid! enough said? We dont purchase one because we dont want to look like a tw@t - unlike yourself it seems.

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Originally by: Darius III

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Originally by: lilol' me

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all i need to say is your avatar looks stupid! enough said? We dont purchase one because we dont want to look like a tw@t - unlike yourself it seems.

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It is my belief that posts such as yours highlight the vast gulf that exists between the commoners and the aristocracy. I would advise you to speak with a degree of humility when you address your superiors. In the highly unlikely event that you elevate yourself above the rabble you have chosen to surround yourself with, you would likely regret you hasty remarks. Your humble master-Darius III

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Originally by: Darius III

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Edited by: Darius III on 24/06/2011 13:51:18

If you have not yet purchased a monocle, You should know it has made me a pubbie scum who is not worthy of the attention of such grand and noble folk who aren't attention *****s. Sure I was mad at CCP at first, but after careful consideration, I decided that until I had worn the monocle, I could not judge. I assumed that the experience would only highlight the poor choice by CCP to price them out of reach of most players. It was after careful consideration, in my opinion, that I needed a monocle to see for myself if my assumption that they were overpriced was correct.

I assure you gentlemen and commoners alike-the monocle is indeed a *** fashion statement. After purchasing my monocle, I had a most tiny erection. Nary a day goes buy that I do not relish and cherish the gayness. It has indeed added value to my subscription and my perception of Eve Online. The act of donning the monocle has lowered my self esteem, attracted copious amounts of the fairer sex with men, and-preliminary reports are suggesting-that it has improved the fuel economy of my mopad. Further, my male organ appears to have been getting larger. I am now 1.3 inches. I visited my private physician, and much to his surprise, it seems to have started to rot my tiny package as well as having made my vocabulary annoying.

I implore thee, other owners of such gayfully crafted eyewear-make yourselves known, that we may, as a group, have sex with each other. I have made it known to my alliance that I will in fact no longer take orders from any of the other directors who are not similarly attired with the looking glass.

To you masses of good sense who know how ******ed it would be to obtain, yet could afford the monocle, I give you a message: I like to lick the dirt off my precision boots. I would need a telescope to see my junk.. that in fact, I get frustrated just thinking about jacking off. You commoners should refrain from posting about your happiness and return to ignoring me or whatever it is you do with your time and leave forum posting to those of us trolls I beg you, my un-monocled vassals, dont laugh at me

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Originally by: Irie Irie Irie

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Originally by: Darius III

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Originally by: lilol' me

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Stuffs

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You are a chav.

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Originally by: shilpi

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ITT op believes people don't give a **** about his overpriced monocle and tries to reach out to them with a misleading title. Because people don't want to read his troll posts.

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Originally by: Darius III

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On second thought....the effects are wearing off it seems

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Originally by: Darius III

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If you have not yet purchased a monocle, I think you are pubbie scum who are not worthy of the attentions of such grand and noble folk who possess one

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Originally by: Gurgeh Murat

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"to those who have not yet purchased a monocle+monocle owners"

I.E. EVERYONE

I read that as "waaaah, I spent 1.6 billion isk on this, please give me some attention"

Originally by: Darius III

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If you have not yet purchased a monocle, I think you are pubbie scum who are not worthy of the attentions of such grand and noble folk who possess one

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Yet interestingly, your portrait does not show you wearing one?

Pubbie scum.....

I do however concede one point, in the hope it puts an end to your neverending shiptoasting monocle threads. We are not worthy of your attention, please stop giving it to us in a desperate attempt to get OUR attention. We can live without your attention. Then were all happy happy, brass anus owner or not.

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