ApophisXP
Sadistic Retribution
Sadistic Empire
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Posted - 2011.06.29 15:43:00 -
[1]
As a lonely peasant in EVE. I have made a living cleaning station hangars and captains quarters.
There was one night though, when I was cleaning the corporate hangars, that I came across a few blueprints and a few hangars full of items. Now the blueprints looked at me and said, Take me please! Stop these people abusing us! Will you help us please?
So.. of course I did help them, I took them out of the hangar and also the items too. With my nose raised up high, I screamed, be free you blueprints! free into my hangar to be sold! then quickly bolted the doors shut. Sadly I forgot about the items so I had to open the door and squeeze them in too.
At the end of the night, I was feeling good, Blueprints safely locked up, items cuddling them too but there was this itch at the back of my mind. Something I couldn't really put my hand on... But then realized I don't have a touch screen so I had to use my mouse and click on the wallet. I saw a few bits of lonely pesky iskies in there but not enough to give me that raging hard on Im always after so I left them to the higher ups to purchase another shuttle with.
With the blueprints and items in my cargohold... surely they must know I took it by now... So I picked up a useless Item, well a few of them and dumped them into a members hangar "Hahahahahaha" I laughed to myself as this was truly the work of a genius.
Following day, Most of the members are online, crying sweat ginger tears. They didn't know what happened. As a respected cleaner for the corp, I said "Hey assh=les, who stole our stuffz?!" More tears came it was Glorious!
Then, out of nowhere, a Director came online! Finally the corp screamed, someone can finally tell us what happened, Where is our stuff? "Quiet jew boys" replied the director "I shall look into this immediately". "We've been robbed!" Cried the Director. This didnt help the corp members as they started crying again until the Director had a thought, a vision. A vision of Looking into Corp members hangars, as he looked upon the hangars, he saw one member another director to which a lot of crap was there. Crap that's normally in the corp hangar.
He was dealt with swiftly. His roles where removed by the Chief, he was disowned and he was ****d. His corpse ravaged by the jew claws of the amarr empire themselves!
For me, the story ends here, as I continue to linger in the dark taking your loot, blueprints, ISK, children and anything else I can get my grubby little hands on.
Remember, I am there watching you, In the dark quiet corners of your Captains Quarters, touching myself with your isk.
BTW: Looking for corp, anyone recruiting? Experience in being a Corp Director and Researcher also part time accountant.
These posts represent my Personal views and not those of my Corporation nor my Alliance. |