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Zandorak X
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Posted - 2005.07.29 16:56:00 -
[1]
Edited by: Zandorak X on 29/07/2005 17:06:02
Diaries of NPC-MAX and the Mighty 35 Guristas NPC squadron
Day 1:
Today is my first day in the mighty 35th Guristas squadron. Me mom told me this is the best way to earn ISK in the universe !! and maybe someday i will be like me old dad the feared and deadly cap'in NPC-raven. Today all my dreams will come true!!!!
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---- Public link channel opened-------
ôYou know mate à. This is kinda exciting !!ö {NPC-Max }
ôYou bettya !! I have a feeling will snag us a big fat hauler with lots of loot !!ö {NPC-TOM}
ôYou recken on me first day we get so blumin lucky?? ô
ôHeck yah I was born lucky!! u stay next to me and ull get some of me luck !!ö
The commander shouted over the comm. link ôSHUDUP u bloomin rascals and listen up !! our patrol sector will be fahruni system. Lots of fat arse haulers and mining barrages. Gona be our lucky day !!!ö
ôSee I told you à ô ôSHUT UR BLOMIN MOUTH OR ILL SHOOT ANOTHER HOLE IN YOUR TAIL PIPE !!!!ö
The mighty squadron of garistas frigates gather around their fierce leader and prepared to warp to Fahruni belt 3 to snag poor defenseless ships!
Commander comm-link channel open ôRight u mongers saddle up its show timeö
---- Public link channel closed-------
------- WARP DRIVE ENGAED ------
---- Private link channel opened-------
ôoi mateà whats wrong with our commander ???ö
ôHeared he got podded for his 38th time in row heheheh!!!ö
ôWHAT ??? and that idiot is leading us ??
ôWell all the rest of the commanders have hit the darn 80th cloneà. So u can say we are very lucky!!! We have the most experienced in the bunchö
ôI cant believe this !!! and me mom said Join the NPC ratÆs son à nothing can earn u ISK that fast uÆll be a bloody millionaire in no time! Man this aint lookin prettyö
ôNo worries there chum! im sure will jump on a sorry sod with a hauler kill him and grab us some loot ! nothing to it ! piece of cake !ö
---- Private link channel closed -------
Commander Comm-link open ôright ready ur weapons boys we r coming out of warp !! HAR HAR HARö
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Zandorak X
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Posted - 2005.07.29 17:06:00 -
[2]
link channel opened-------
ôAhhaa I told u mate we r gona have us a good easy target !!! lock on the small barrage and lets kill em quick!! those things are made of tissue paper!ö
ôOi mate à. Whats that big ugly looking ship next to the barrage??ö
ôBlimy dunno à. Must be one ugly hauler !! right kill the small guy first then we play pin the donkey with lasers on that ugly hauler!! Darn I wouldnÆt be caught dead in that ugly ship heheheh !!! Looks like a dumb battering ram from the old ages !!! who designs those ships anyway ??ö
ô mate àà. ô
ôyah ???? whats is it ? im trying 2 concentrate hereö
ôWhy aint those guys running from our armed to the teeth deadly frigates, we are the feared and deadly NPCÆs right ??ö
ôDunno they must be to busy mining, this is too easy !!!! some ppl are dumb and deserve whats coming to them! they should check their scanners all the time !! bloody civilians !ö
ômate à..ö
ôWHAT ?????ö
ôwhy is this big ugly ship farting small things from its behind ???
ôWHAT ??? how should I know maybe cans??? now stop talking and let me kill the darn barrage!!!!!!ö
ômateààö
ôI SWEAR ILL KILL U !!!!! WHAT IS IT ???ö
ôemmm these things are targeting me ààà I thought u said they where cans ??ö
ôLISTEN DOES IT SAY ENCYLCOPDIA ON MY ARSE ????? NOW LET ME KILL THE BARAGE !! U R REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVOUSEö !!
ômate ààö
ôTHATÆS IT IM KILLING U IM àà.. WHAT THE ???ö
BOOOM
ôemmmm I think our commander hit the 39th clone by nowà.. u reckon he would be more ****ed off when his clone wakes up ??ö
ôBlimmy what the ??? what are those darn things ??? BOOM ! here goes another NPC RAT! darn those things pack a punch !ô
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Zandorak X
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Posted - 2005.07.29 17:07:00 -
[3]
ôemmm guess it aint a hauler then ??? ô
ôU donÆt say ?? itÆs a bloody flying beer can !!! now stop ur yapping and shoot those darn small things!!ö
BOOM another NPC rat is transformed into space dust ....
ômateà..ö
ôGRRRRR #*#*#*#** WHAT WHAT!! ô
ôTheir too fast I cant shoot them à.ö
ôOi this is just dandy àà (BOOM) !!! ow great just u and me left now !!!ö
ôdid u update your clone ??
ôYah why ???ö
BOOOOOOM
ôemm thatÆs why à.. errrr hi there boys wanna play fetch the container ???ö
BOOOOOOM
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Phhhsssstttttt àà.. ----- 2nd Clone activated (Name: NPC MAX) -----
ôemmm mate ô
Phhhsssstttttt àà.. ----- 34355th Clone actived (Name: NPC TOM) ------
ôWHAT WHAT ???? donÆt u ever SHUT UP !!!ö
ôI donÆt feel 2 goodö
ôNO ??? wow àà u just got ur bum shot from under u, ur memory traveled hundreds of light years and ur clone just woke up from weeks of sleep how do u expect to feel ???? bloomin idiot!ö
ô ààààààà.ö
ôFINNALY, I though u would never shut up!!! Now get ur arse in a new pod our leader just woke up and he is even more cranky ! He's taking us on another mission its gona be a piece of cake this time I have a good feeling about it !!! I was born lucky u know !!ö
THE END !!!
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Siri Danae
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Posted - 2005.07.29 18:24:00 -
[4]
good stuff, funny stuff.
------
I generally assume the following:
1. 95% of Empire Carebears don't get 0.0 PVPers.
2. 95% of 0.0 PVPers don't get Empire Carebears.
3. 100% of Ore Thieves steal just to upset the Miners. |
Vordor
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Posted - 2005.08.21 15:43:00 -
[5]
LOL .... this explains a lot about them ..... lol nice story mate 
__________________________________________________
The first step in winning a war is to have scientists to build and design the war machine!
Freedom for our people!!
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Zandorak X
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Posted - 2005.08.21 15:54:00 -
[6]
Edited by: Zandorak X on 21/08/2005 15:56:35
ô!!!!!!!!ö
ôA frigate did that to u ???? wow à.ö
ô!!!!!!!!!ö
ôemmmm It was a frigate right?????ö
ô àààààö
ôdo u want me 2 be more specific next time sir??
ôerrrr à. Sir what r u doing with that gun ??? sir ??? SIR !!!!!! Arghhhhhö
BANG àà
ôRight u idiots, get ur new clones in some new ships àà we just got intel that a lone hauler is mining in the next system ààö
ôoh uh .... Here we go again à..ö
ôSHUT UP U IDIOT AND GET UR ARSE IN A NEW SHIP!!! WE ARE THE MIGHTY GURISTAS!! THEY WOUNT BE LUCKY THIS TIME!ö
_______________________
I am a one mean thinking, fighting, pvping and lovin machine..
Oh and i'm darn good lookin 2  |
Zandorak X
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Posted - 2005.08.21 15:54:00 -
[7]
Diaries of NPC-MAX and the Mighty 35 Guristas NPC squadron
Day 2:
Me 2nd day à. Well had a small set back on me first day ! Our commander Is preparing us for another mighty attack on the poor helpless sods !
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---- Public link channel opened-------
ôOI listen up u rascals! Our scouting ship just got shot to pieces by an enemy ship. Our mission is simple kick his behind and teach him never to mess with the mighty Guirsiats! our mission to hunt poor sods will therefore be delayed !!ö
ôSiràà what kind of ship was it ?ö
ôA small frigate !!! like it matters ???? we are taking 8 NPC deadly frigates even the toughest frigate will be stuffed by us! NOW SHUT UP !!!ö
---- Public link channel Closed-------
----- WARP DRIVE ENGAGED-----
---- Private link channel opened-------
ômate à.. ô
ôyah???ö
ôI still aint feelin to good !ö
ôMAN !!! why do u always complain ????? once u get podded for the 100th time you will get used to it!ö
ôWHAT ??????ö
ôOw just shut up !! I have a headache!ö
---- Private link channel Closed-------
----- WARP DRIVE DIS-ENGAGED-----
---- Public link channel opened-------
ôOi you scoundrels here is our target !! and HAHA its only 1 puny ship!!! LOCK and load boys !!ö
ôSir à. I want to say à.. ô ôSHUT UP U NOOB !!!! LOCK AND ENGAGE THATÆS AN ORDER !!! ö
ôBut sir à.. ö ôGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRö
---- Public link channel Closed-------
---- Private link channel opened-------
ômate. ààö
ôSheeesh ààà WHAT IS IT ??????ö
ôThis ship looks kinda familiar!ö
ôWHAT??? SOO ???
ôammm I think its called the Thorax and its à emmm I think ,à. Darn shouldnÆt have skipped so many ship classes à.. something about it à.. ô
ôOw shut up àà.. Im sick and tired of ur blabbering now just fightö
---- Private link channel Closed-------
ôOi u dumb frigate !!! today u die !!!!!ö
ôSir he aint budging à. ô
ôOi u idiot in the frigate !! whatÆs wrong the catÆs got your tongue???ö
àà
ôCome on donÆt be shy !!!! at least cry or beg for mercy and we wount kill u 2 slowly !!!!Æ
àà.
ôSir ??ö
ôYAH WHAT IS IT ??ö
ôI think I heard him laugh over the comm. link ô
ôGRRRR ATTACK !!!!!!!!!!!ö
---- Private link channel opened-------
ôOW CRAP !!!!!!!! not those blumin things again !!!!!ö
BOOOM
ômate ààö
ôààààààààààààààà.. what à..ö
ôEmmm now I remember à..ö
ôWTF ??? remember what ????ö
ôemmm the thorax itÆs a drone carrier ààö
ôno ??????? u think so ??????? tell me how did ur brilliant mind reach that conclusion ?? darn u must be the smartest in your familyö
BOOOM
ô mate àà. ô
ô#@%$%@##@%@#%#@ö
ôI remembered something else ààö
ôI DONÆT WANT TO HEAR ANY THING !!!!!!!!! ENGAGING TARGET ààààààà ààààà.. what the heck ???? ö
ô I tried to tell u àà they re pretty well tanked and itÆs a cruiser not a frigate !à.ö
BOOOOM
ôBlimy !!!! we aint doing enough damage to that thing !!! ô
BOOOOM
ôerrr à.. here goes our mighty leader to his 40th clone ààà ö
ôOW SHUT UP !!!!!ö
BOOOOOM
BOOOOOOM
BOOOOOOOOM
ômate ààö
ôààààö
ômate à..ö
ôààà..ö
ôemm mate àà. ô
BOOOOOOOOM
ônever mind just wanted to tell u look behind u à. ö
BOOOOOM
ôemmmm àà howdy à.. there boys à.. how u doin ?ö
BOOOOOOOOM
Phhhsssstttttt àà.. ----- 3nd Clone activated (Name: NPC MAX) -----
Phhhsssstttttt àà.. ----- 34356th Clone activated (Name: NPC TOM) ------
ôDONÆT TELL ME !!! YOUR NOT FEELING GOOD RIGHT ???ö
ôyah à how did u know ???ö
ôAKH ààà.ö
Phhhsssstttttt àà.. ----- 40the Clone activated (Name: NPC commander) -----
ôOI NPC TOM u idiot !!! STOP STRANGLING UR MATE OR ILL KILL U MYSELFààö
ôsorry sir, that noob just à. I mean à.. he just à. ö ô SHUT UP U BUNCH OF MORONS !!!!!!ö
ôwhere is the idiot that was scouting in the first place ???ö
à.
ôYES SIR ???ö
ôWHY DIDNÆT U TELL US THAT THIS WAS A CRUISER ?????ö
ôemmm à. It wasnÆt a cruiser sir it was a frigate !ö
ô?????????ö
ô by the way sir à. Why is every one here ??
_______________________
I am a one mean thinking, fighting, pvping and lovin machine..
Oh and i'm darn good lookin 2 |
Luigi Thirty
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Posted - 2005.08.22 03:11:00 -
[8]
Edited by: Luigi Thirty on 22/08/2005 03:11:18
So that's what they're thinking when they attack my ship. Generally destroyers were made to DESTROY things, i.e. those damn Guristas.
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Vordor
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Posted - 2005.08.23 14:06:00 -
[9]
Hehe .... nice mate but i kinda like the goofier first story ...  i have to agree though, NPC's aint the smartest of the bunch!
Nice work mate episode 3 ??
__________________________________________________
The first step in winning a war is to have scientists to build and design the war machine!
Freedom for our people!!
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