| Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 1 post(s) |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.01 15:07:00 -
[1]
I just created this thread - proud of my idea, and posted it in a really obscure place where no-one would ever read it - so now, to correct it, here is my midly entertaining thread....
As I am my corp's jester and funny man, I thought I might like to start a thread for people to make funny comments about their experiences in EVE. Please use this thread for telling humourous stories of your encounters with the game and its players. Funny anecdotes and jokes about EVE, with the same good taste as the smashing fan website 'Warp Drive Active'.
To start you off, here's an EVE funny of my own. - Not a very good one, but I'm sure you guys and gals can think of much more entertain twists on words and place in EVE. Perhaps write lyrics for a parody about EVE. That would be good to see.
" Hey man, wassup? "
" Not much. Although I did go down to the market today and bought that new Ooey Larmstrong song - the one about the Minmatar Assault Ship "
"Oh, I know the one, it's that 'What a Wonderful Wolf' song, right?"
"Yeah..."
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.01 15:19:00 -
[2]
It was pointed out to me in my mistakenly placed other thread, which is now locked, as this is the one i wanted to be used, that I am apparently not funny. It seems that some people would find that licking cars would be much funnier than to read my pathetic joke. Thats the general feeling I'm getting so far....
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.01 15:28:00 -
[3]
OK I'VE GOT ONE! After much thinking, and Benilopax's criticism, I've come up with a really really BAD joke, so bad - you'll laugh anyways...
Q: What do you call a Minmatar woman who tries to bury her really short ex-husband under Asphalt?
A: A Minimantarrer
I know, it sucks - so PLEASE come up with some better EVE jokes!
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.01 15:44:00 -
[4]
What? Sharp and to the point? :-)
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.01 15:50:00 -
[5]
I have evidence that my corp mate looked at my appaling thread and laughed!
Nende > Q: What do you call a
Minmatar woman who tries to bury her
really short ex-husband under Asphalt?
A: A Minimantarrer
Nende > rofl
Thomus > NENDE LAUGHED!
Nende > you were right tom, that
is reallllll bad, so bad it made me
laugh :D
Thomus > ahaha
ophiuchus3000 > it was a laugh
of pity
So there you go - the COMEDY in EVE thread is taking off...
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.01 15:55:00 -
[6]
I'm not posting to keep this alive cuz no-ones interested, I just think the concept needs to settle in - for example, I'm currently trying to pursuade my corp mates to post things that they tell me for example this link:
http://www.omgrawr.net/quote/627
its a good'n.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.01 15:58:00 -
[7]
Mainly because I have just discovered the wonders of threads, and I am still in the initial stage of thread-everything-i-can-think-of, with this being the best idea i've had so far, not in the knowledge that something like this already exists. D'oh.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.01 19:56:00 -
[8]
now THATS funny, ok its not related to Eve, but its pretty darn funny.
If anyone can make EVE jokes as funny as that - then this thread will go a long way!
Thanx everyone!
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.01 20:17:00 -
[9]
Hey! I found this!
I made a funny again!
It's actually my placemat...
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.01 20:31:00 -
[10]
just to correct my previous post, it's apparently a 'coaster' not a place mat.
Any jokes to add anyone?
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.02 00:24:00 -
[11]
Now THATS even MORE like it! I'm so glad someone came up with a 'why did the [insert ship name] cross the road joke....
Anyone got any more to add to this... entirely humourous thread so far?
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.02 10:33:00 -
[12]
I'd like to thank those who have sent in some genuine EVE jokes, ones that are also genuinely funny. I would also like to express my condolences to those who don't seem to be able to have a laugh. As Winterblink said earlier in this thread, EVE could do with more humour, and by adding this thread to allow people to send in their jokes, I think that we have started to acomplish that. If you have any objextion to laughing, please get this thread locked, but please, I don't think it is fair to try and stop the players of EVE have a joke once in a while - it's nice to have a light hearted community feel about the game.
I've come up with another comical idea - ticker names, either real or made up, that sound funny, but are the result of abbreviating a proffessional sounding Corp name, such as....
Hroduko Omber Extractors, ticker name 'HOE'
- you know, that kind of thing.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.02 15:41:00 -
[13]
Getting better - keep it up folks! 
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.02 21:58:00 -
[14]
Q: What do you call an evil miner?
A: A Pye-rat.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.02 22:01:00 -
[15]
Q: You know why Angel Nomads are called Angel Nomads?
A: Because Nomadder what you do, they keep coming back to interrupt your mining...
- dang, I'm on a roll!
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.02 22:04:00 -
[16]
You know I had trouble with a man trying to invade my stomach?
He was part of the Caldari Naval Fleet...
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.03 05:37:00 -
[17]
A young Gallente male is walking through the woods. All of a sudden, he *****s himself on something sharp. When he looks to his side, there stands the biggest rose bush he has ever seen. He rushes home, ready to tell his mother all about his first ever encounter with a Megathorn...
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.03 05:52:00 -
[18]
Whilst that movie was slightly obscurely funny, I think that it was nasty on the part of the attacker to be picking on someone who either didn't wanna fight or couldn't. If it turns out that Firstname Lastname is also a PvPer/Pirate, then fair enough. But to pick on someone pleading to be spared, and not only having to see his pride and joy being destroyed, but to see his wallet emptying too, I can imagine would be a crushing thing. That really is bordering on sick. Ok, EVE is a game, but for someone to find pleasure out of squeezing all the fun out of their EVE-life is a little bit sick. But yes, that video is funny. Anyone got any more?
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.03 11:18:00 -
[19]
Nice jokes lads. And just so you all know, my copy of 'Comedy Writing Secrets' is on its way. Well, it's not really, but it was funny to say that - see? I'm learning already!
Q: What do you call a Gallentean who loves leather and handcuffs?
A: A Dominix...
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.03 13:58:00 -
[20]
Corp Name: Pirate Intercepting Mercenaries Party
Ticker Name: P.I.M.P
hehe
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.03 17:33:00 -
[21]
excuse me while i do this: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - thats a good one. I found that funny (just in case you didn't know already...)
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.03 20:52:00 -
[22]
lol. please don't lock the thread - there are some people who are making genuine Eve jokes. For those of you who think its sooooo bad, can you think of a joke to add to the thread to make it funnier?
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.06 08:09:00 -
[23]
Edited by: Thomus on 06/09/2005 08:09:21
Two Gallente men are in a bar during their lunchbreak, drinking some Quafe....
Gallente 1: I was in the cinema, and the woman serving me was sooo attractive, I got distracted from talking to her and started checking her out. Instead of asking for Pop Corn, I asked her for come c*ck p*rn! I was so embarrased!
Gallente 2: I see. That happened to me recently. I was about to ask my wife to pass the salt, but instead I yelled 'You ruined my life, you ugly cow!
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.07 07:32:00 -
[24]
Two Caldari men hire a new cute, young secretary and a contest arises between them as to who can bed her first, even though they're both already married. Eventually one of them pulls her and his partner is quite eager to hear how things went. "So what did you think?" he asks.
"Ah," replies the first Caldari man, "my wife is better."
Some time goes by, and then the second Caldari goes to bed with the secretary.
"So," asks the first guy, "what did you think?"
The second guy replies, "You were right."
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.07 11:41:00 -
[25]
A ventriloquist is in a bar doing a show telling lots of jokes about Caldari women, and after several have been told a Caldari woman in the audience stands up and starts shouting "That's ridiculous, Caldari are not stupid!"
The Ventriloquist apologises and explains that it is just an act, but the Caldari woman shouts: "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to the little fella on your lap!"
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.07 15:07:00 -
[26]
A harsh, but har-har joke - nice.
Please keep them coming!
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.07 21:34:00 -
[27]
A Caldari spy recieves a coded message from a Gallente agent. He can't make any sense of the message, that reads: 5370H55V 0773H.
The Caldari, completely confused, passes this message onto his Amarrian friend, who also cannot deceifer the code. The Amarrian passes onto his Minmatar friend. The Minmatar exclaims:
"I know this code, we used to recieve this message all the time, last time we were fighting the Gallente. This code is much better understood if you read it upside down."
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.08 00:05:00 -
[28]
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
- those are nice diaries!!! Anyone else got funny stories?
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.08 10:49:00 -
[29]
These are the flash videos that I've been looking for. Turns out they were on my corps website, not the eve website.
Funny as heck, but I must warn they have some language in them.
The situation in the Outer Ring....
Gotta Love It
xeticvs5
please linkage some more funny stuff!
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.08 15:06:00 -
[30]
I logged on just now, to this convo with my corp, which automatically puts me as the bookies favourite for dumbo of the year award:
Benilopax > speak of the devil!
Benilopax > TOM!
Thomus > aye, thankyou
Benilopax > did you delete everyones corp mails?
Thomus > i deleted mine
Thomus > because you told us to
Benilopax > you were supposed to delete your own!
Thomus > i didnt touch anyone elses!
Benilopax > did you clear mails from you only?
Thomus > how do you delete 'everyones' email - i opened MY email, clicked on.... oh, FROM ME? as in, the ones i want people to se still etc etc...
Thomus > NOW i understand
Thomus > in which case, yes, i deleted everyone's emails.
* Benilopax slaps forehead
Thomus > AHAH I'm gonna post this on the comedy thread!
Benilopax > we all lost them dude
Ringill > There is already a site for convo humor
Thomus > ok - so now i know how corp email works...
Benilopax > lol
Thomus > ringill shh... i cant promote my thread with people mentioning other places to go for humour
Benilopax > from now on no one touch corp emails except your own mails
Benilopax > i will admin it
Thomus > and by 'my own' you mean the ones FROM me in the corp mail inbox?
Benilopax > from yourself
Thomus > yes, from me
Benilopax > yes
Benilopax > rex click on the
envelope
Rex Jorval > oh i see
Thomus > well at least now we can all take a fresh bash at the corp mail
Benilopax > lol
Ringill > And it loads so much
quicker now :)
Benilopax > ha
Thomus > so i did us a favour?
Thomus > lol
Benilopax > you also lostevery last bit of corp info of the past 5
months
Thomus > AHAHAH - i did didnt i...
Thomus > can we ask CCP for it back?
Benilopax > yep
Benilopax > you can try
Thomus > me?
Benilopax > but i think its been deleted on server
Thomus > i havent;t got time
Benilopax > i meant more like one can try
Benilopax > eg one could call them if one wishes
Benilopax > ok tom im taking 5 brownie points off you
Benilopax > that puts you on........
Benilopax > -5
Benilopax > :-D
Thomus > D'OH
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.08 15:12:00 -
[31]
for my last post - evidence of my stupidity
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.08 20:13:00 -
[32]
AHAHHA - it works!!
OK peeps - if you do one thing today, make sure its wat Implanted's post says above this post. It rules!!
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.09 22:57:00 -
[33]
Good news!!!!
For those of you who can't stand this thread, I'm going on holiday for a week - you're safe until then.
Bad news!!!!
For those of you who like this thread, I'm going on holiday for a week - you'll have to make do without me til I get back.
Byeeee!
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.18 08:49:00 -
[34]
Nice to see that people appreciate this thread, even though it has died while I've been on holiday.
BTW - I'm back to make you groan over appalling EVE jokes! :-)
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.18 16:47:00 -
[35]
A Gallente kid asks his dad if can he have a Thorax.
His dad says: "No way - we've a million ISK mortgage to pay and we're already struggling just with that."
The next morning, Dad finds the kid, with suitcase in hand, at the front door. "Where are you going son?" he says.
The son tearfully replies: "I'm leaving cos I walked past your room last nite and heard you say you were pulling out and mum said she was coming too and I'm not staying here on me own with a million ISK mortgage and no Thorax!"
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.18 16:50:00 -
[36]
Why did the Amarrian girl get a ship with a sunroof?
- A bit more leg room...
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.20 09:15:00 -
[37]
What two things can a Caldari woman put in the air to get herself pregnant?
Her feet.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.20 09:27:00 -
[38]
Why did the Minmatar woman get confused going to the bathroom?
She's not used to pulling her own pants down...
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.20 09:30:00 -
[39]
How do you keep a stupid Gallente at home?
Build a circular driveway....
(That's it, I'm done for today!) :-)
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.22 08:43:00 -
[40]
How do you make a a Gallente drink?
Stick one in a blender.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.22 11:41:00 -
[41]
AHAHAHAH to last post - it freakin' rocks! Not EVE based, but its certainly made me happy!
AHAHAHAHAHAH *coughs, splutters, chokes*
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.22 11:51:00 -
[42]
Could anyone with an absolutely hilarious signature just post 'look at my signature' as a funny contribution to the thread - sometimes, well, a lot of times, people's sigs are funnier than my jokes....
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.23 12:38:00 -
[43]
Thanx Mardonius - I'm touched. Really!
Also thanx to ReaperOfSly for that hilarious Local Chat! :-)
What has 2 arms, 2 legs, is big white and metallic, and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?
A Caldari in a fridge.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.23 16:53:00 -
[44]
Ben, did you get someone in our corp to make that signature? I'd like to point out that the person in th signature, isn't you. LOL!
Does anyone have a male character that doesn't look like they were bought up by Dale Winton?
I made up the Caldari in a fridge joke on the spot by modding a joke about a pool table...
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.23 21:37:00 -
[45]
How do you make an Amarr drink?
Put him in a blender.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.23 21:51:00 -
[46]
Ooooooh! I forgot to mention something that happened to me tonight.
Whilst at work, I spotted 'Blueprint' on the front page of he East Anglian Daily Times.
I thought 'oooh EVE', and went to look at it again, realising that I am, in fact, a pr#tt, and of course it had nothing to do with Eve at all.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.24 13:50:00 -
[47]
How do you make a Caldari drink?
Ask him nicely.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.26 22:08:00 -
[48]
I'm sad to see that no-one's had anything funny to say over the past day or two.
* Thomus cries
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.26 22:13:00 -
[49]
Edited by: Thomus on 26/09/2005 22:13:53
All credit for this joke goes to corp mate *****, who thought it was so lame, he'd be ridiculed if he posted it. So I'm gonna take the stick for it instead. (Nothing new there then...)
Q: Who invented the Cargo Container?
A: Thomas Jetisson.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.27 02:57:00 -
[50]
What do you call a group of Gallente women standing ear-to-ear?
A wind tunnel.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.27 17:22:00 -
[51]
An Amarrian man went to have acupuncture. (sorry about the spelling)
When he got home, his Voodoo doll was dead.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.27 17:28:00 -
[52]
Two Gallente men are having lunch, drinking some quafe. One of the men asks for a light for his cigarette. The other man pulls out a 12-inch Bic lighter. The first man is gobsmacked and asks him where he got such a large lighter.
"My genie gave it to me" replies the second Gallente man.
"A genie? WOW! Let's see him" says the first.
And out pops a genie, who was kind enough to grant the man's friend a wish. The Gallente man thinks, then says "I'd like 12 million ISK".
All of a sudden, 12 million whisks come crashing down around them.
"Whats this! I asked for 12 million ISK, not 12 million whisks! Is your genie deaf?"
"You don't think I really wished for a 12-inch BIC do you?"
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.27 18:03:00 -
[53]
THIS IS A CALL FOR THE KILLER 8!!!
I've seen this:
http://www.student.kun.nl/martindevillers/gottaloveit.html
And i'd like to know where part 2 is - please linkage it here, anybody!
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.28 22:09:00 -
[54]
Anyone have any HILARIOUS eve videos, flash or otherwise to post links to on this thread?
does anyone know if there is a part 2 to the above post?
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.29 19:58:00 -
[55]
Thanks Azuriel. I think that to have a good gas everyday, makes the day. For me, personally, not meaning to get sappy, but I couldn't go without a laugh a day at least - makes life worth living.
Keep those jokes coming folks! :-)
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.09.29 21:58:00 -
[56]
lol @ Eris.
not AT Eris, i mean lol @ what she said, please don't hurt me Eris. I'm sorry. Shutting up now.
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.01 05:21:00 -
[57]
Two Gallente men are sitting drinking their Quafe at lunch, having a chat.
One says 'Yesterday, i did the most embarrassing thing. You see, I was in the company of a beautiful woman, who was in fact soooo beautiful, she was making me nervous. I was so nervous, that instead of saying "particularly nasty weather" I said "tickle your **se with a feather" - i was so embarrased'
His friend says: 'I had a similar problem with the wife last night. We were sitting down at dinner, and I was meant to say "could you pass the salt", but its came out as "YOU RUINED MY LIFE YOU UGLY COW"...
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.01 21:16:00 -
[58]
On flying to meet a client, I flew through some... unusual systems:
EVE System > Channel changed to Deltole Local Channel
Zaphroid Eulthran > Mmmm fruity
goodness
Thomus > u eating someones twig
and berries?
Thomus > lol - sorry - strange
comments as i pass thru systems are
great
EVE System > Channel changed to
Aufay Local Channel
Pham Newon > Noooo dont put it
there
EVE System > Channel changed to
Balle Local Channel....
----------------
I'd like an Obelisk, but I'm 1.27 billion ISK short...
I build Brutixes, or Bruti, oh wateva. - But if you want something else. I'll see what i can do. Join channel 'TomBui |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.03 23:09:00 -
[59]
What's red on the outside, blue-ish on the inside with lots of ugly hats, and screams?
A bus load of Gallente going over a cliff.
----------------
I'd like an Obelisk, but I'm 1.27 billion ISK short...
I build Brutixes, or Bruti, oh wateva. - But if you want something else. I'll see what i can do. Join channel 'TomBuild |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.05 01:39:00 -
[60]
A Gallente boy is talking to his friend about their parents' careers....
"My dad always used to say 'fight fire, with fire', which is probably why he was fired from the fire-brigade"
...
----------------
I'd like an Obelisk, but I'm 1.27 billion ISK short...
I build Brutixes, or Bruti, oh wateva. - But if you want something else. I'll see what i can do. Join channel 'TomBuild |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.06 21:02:00 -
[61]
AHAHAHAHAHA i <3 the last post
btw - i've learned what '<3' means now....
----------------
Tom
www.tomnetf2s.f2s.com/carmileage.AVI |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.09 22:53:00 -
[62]
EVE-lyrics to well known songs.... I have thought about making a music video spoof of some well known tunes, in Eve context. For example, the open lines to the 'Fresh Prince of Gallen-te'... (It's rubbish, but if anyone wants to help me write the whole song, please do...)
Yo, this is a story all about how
my ship got nerfed, turned upside down,
and i'd like to take a minute just sitting in my 'thron,
to tell you 'bout where my mining crystals have gone.
(music)
In Chemal Tech, Renyn, with my plasma, phased,
shooting my corp mates is where i spend most of my days,
hanging out, mining and refining, shootin all rats,
when a coupla Caldari who were up to no good,
starting ganking homies in my neighbourhood.
We got in one little fight and my RL pal sed 'yeah,
you know we'd better move out to Jesoyeh'.
More verses tomorow...
Now i must adjourn to my boo-dwa, need my beauty sleep hehe
----------------
Tom
www.tomnetf2s.f2s.com/carmileage.AVI |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.11 18:43:00 -
[63]
Why thank-you *smug grin*
Any new jokes anyone?
----------------
Tom
www.tomnetf2s.f2s.com/carmileage.AVI |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.14 22:00:00 -
[64]
LMAO @ Ryea
btw, SO = Significant Other, right?
Thats a funny story LOL!!
More please!!!
*bumps*
----------------
Tom
www.tomnetf2s.f2s.com/carmileage.AVI |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.16 01:07:00 -
[65]
after having made contact with thekiller8, turns out the only flash vid i've not seen is this:
http://www.student.ru.nl/martindevillers/wtf.html
- parental guidance, possibly.
----------------
Tom
www.tomnetf2s.f2s.com/carmileage.AVI |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.20 21:03:00 -
[66]
this is what local chat looks like to me atm....
EVE System > Channel changed to
Vullat Local Channel
Thomus > obelisk! woot!
EVE System > Channel changed to
Kassigainen Local Channel
Thomus > WOAH
Thomus > hellooooooo Obelisk
Thomus > WOOT WOOT WOOT!
EVE System > Channel changed to
Hatakani Local Channel
Thomus > ANOTHER FREIGHTER?
Thomus > anyone tell me where
you can buythe freighter skill?
EVE System > Channel changed to
Kusomonmon Local Channel
Boggeloid > which belt you in ?
Thomus > im not
Thomus > who are you?
Thomus > ARGH - confusign local
chat...
Thomus > :-P
Boggeloid > np
Thomus > just passing thru -
dont worry, you wont have to put up
with my stupidity for long now....
Thomus > only 11km to go..
Thomus > i think i should put my
mwd on too...
Thomus > soon be off...
Thomus > tata all!
EVE System > Channel changed to
Urlen Local Channel
----------------
Tom
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.21 23:39:00 -
[67]
A Caldari family go out for the day, leaving a hidden universe of life at home, that is their own pets. Over in the lounge, a small story is developing.... (This is just an EVE related build up to my very un-EVE joke that i just had to tell you!)
Two fish are in their tank...
One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive."
----------------
Tom
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.23 21:42:00 -
[68]
I <3 YOU JOHN! Your lyrics, plus the donkey joke, which isn't eve related, are the funniest parts of the thread!
----------------
Tom
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.23 22:25:00 -
[69]
Cray Moonwalker > Thom how u doing
Thomus > groovy
Thomus > spent a WHOLE 24 hours with the gf LOL
Thomus > 1 day with, 13 without, - DAMN
Thomus > lol
Cray Moonwalker > every time i give this game a rest i get the Mrs pregnant....ive just signed up for life term membership
Thomus > AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
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Tom
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.27 21:35:00 -
[70]
Why are Gallente women like hurracaines?
When they arrive, they are warm wet and wild,
but when they go, they take the house, the car, the whole ******* lot!!
(Sorry if this joke isn't classed as teen rated - i thought it might be borderline)
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Tom
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.10.29 13:29:00 -
[71]
How would you describe an EVE character with bad teeth?
You'd probably say that they had Minmatartar.....
*/me hears groans...*
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Tom
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.11.02 17:05:00 -
[72]
There was an Amarr on a bridge one night,
his lips were all of a quiver.
He gave a caugh,
His leg fell off,
And floated down the river.
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Tom
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.11.03 10:04:00 -
[73]
you know what i don't think is funny? a select few people who don't like my attempt at bringing more humour into the game that decide to spam it with sick jokes that are not of a clean nature, to try and get the thread locked. if you ask me, i'd say you were spamming. so please, naff off, and leave me and my hard work alone. im trying to make people happy here - why put me down? even if the jokes are awful...
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Tom
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.11.03 21:00:00 -
[74]
lol - ur input is funny, and i agree that my humour sucks too - but if it wasn't for the bumps from me, no-one would remember to post their own jokes. :-S
BTW, FYI, this thread has had more tha 10,000 readers! its like everyone online now, all taking a peek at once.
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Tom
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.11.05 15:14:00 -
[75]
i have thought about putting an afterburner on my car..... :-S
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Tom
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Thomus
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Posted - 2005.11.21 22:59:00 -
[76]
Hey folks, long time no joke - I found my beloved thread on page 20-odd.
To keep in with the upcoming festive season, a really bad EVE-related Xmas joke is in order:
What did Santa say to the three Gallente women standing on a street corner?
"HO, HO, HO!"
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Tom |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.11.22 13:58:00 -
[77]
Edited by: Thomus on 22/11/2005 13:58:36
 Originally by: GinaD
LMAO thats too funny! 
Agreed, so far the funniest EVE related joke there has been...
perhaps people would like to donate to the joke fund, (give me money), and whoever has the best joke at the end of each month gets the cash? (i give it to someone funny)
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Tom |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.11.22 21:09:00 -
[78]
Possibly the funniest thread i've ever seen:
http://oldforums.eveonline.com/?a=topic&threadID=250856&page=1
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Tom |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.11.22 21:43:00 -
[79]
Also found this hilarious EVE related humour:
http://oldforums.eveonline.com/?a=topic&threadID=215470
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Tom |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.11.23 10:36:00 -
[80]
Originally by: Tripoli
This thread had me rolling after a couple pages. Devs even got involved.
http://oldforums.eveonline.com/?a=topic&threadID=215520
lol - agreed. There seems to be some pretty darn funny threads out there...
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Tom |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.11.23 16:45:00 -
[81]
for last poster:
http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/advanced.html
im now gonna make my own....
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Tom |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.11.23 16:53:00 -
[82]
Edited by: Thomus on 23/11/2005 16:55:01
Edited by: Thomus on 23/11/2005 16:54:20
Gallente =
An Leg Let
LAG Let Ne (lol)
Legal Net (wahey!)
minmatar=
A MAN TRIM - by far the funniest yet!!
A Arm Mint
A Rant Mim
Maim Rant
Main Tram
An Rat Mim
caldari=
Cad Liar
CIA Lard - rofl
Car Laid
Car Dial
Carl Aid - good news if ur name is Carl
amarr=
none found, haha
megathron=
Game Thorn
German Hot - LOL
Garment Ho
Anger Moth - nice new nickname for a megathron
Hag Me Torn
Hang Me Rot
-The list for Megathron is hundreds long.
ATTENTION: I Will GIVE 30,000 ISK to the person who finds the funniet anagram in the eve universe - i'll give it a week or two...
edit: its not much, but noobs will like it, and get into the eve community. which is good.
ready, steady, GO!
linkage: http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/advanced.html
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Tom |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.11.29 23:59:00 -
[83]
A Gallente woman went in for some accupuncture therapy.
When she got home, her voodoo doll was dead.
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Tom |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.12.01 18:06:00 -
[84]
Gallente men talking, on their way to the Pleasure Hub:
"Hey, man, you seen that film where the big new ship crashes into an asteroid and most of the people on-board die?"
"Oh, you mean..... TITANic?"
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Tom |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.12.01 22:59:00 -
[85]
How many Minmatar does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, slaves don't own lightbulbs.
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Tom |
Thomus
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Posted - 2005.12.19 16:28:00 -
[86]
i found this thread waaay back on page 78 or something. anyhoo - with RMR now out, im sure you all have lots of plays-on-words and one liners to share with the world. :-)
Whats big green and scary, like rocks, and doesn't exist yet?
The Incredible HULK...
- sorry, i just really want one. lol.
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Tom |
Thomus
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Posted - 2006.01.24 19:59:00 -
[87]
What do you call a rich T1 manufacturer?
A liar.
click on topic, then reply, rinse, repeat, spam, repeat :) - ParMizaN |
Thomus
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Posted - 2006.01.25 23:05:00 -
[88]
Originally by: Benilopax
Tom did you bump this damn thread back?
Now thats funny. 
kinda... any new jokes guys?
click on topic, then reply, rinse, repeat, spam, repeat :) - ParMizaN |
Thomus
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Posted - 2006.01.25 23:31:00 -
[89]
Edited by: Thomus on 25/01/2006 23:31:16
Originally by: Kane Jacobs
Originally by: Thomus
What? Sharp and to the point? :-)
That was funny !!!
thanx :-) I have to admit that that is the funniest thing i've said in this thread, and it wasn't even an EVE-joke! :-S
Q: What do you call a man in an Amphibious Dominix?
A: A frog-pilot.
Q: What do you say to a man in an invisible Amphibious Dominix?
A: Nice Croaking device you got there.
Q: How do you hold an Amphibious Dominix together?
A: With lots of ribbets.
click on topic, then reply, rinse, repeat, spam, repeat :) - ParMizaN |
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