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Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 1 post(s) |
DauntlessK
Research Industry Mining and Support Gatekeepers Universe
1
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Posted - 2013.06.18 21:59:00 -
[1] - Quote
I am looking for a good laugh. What are some of the funniest noob questions (real or not real) you've ever heard?
aka the classic "my ship just exploded and I'm an egg now, did i just level up?" "Why have I been approaching the gate for hours and still 60 au away?" |
amin Kion
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
0
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Posted - 2013.06.18 22:07:00 -
[2] - Quote
looking for a laugh at someone elses expense,is what you meant to say. |
DauntlessK
Research Industry Mining and Support Gatekeepers Universe
1
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Posted - 2013.06.18 22:10:00 -
[3] - Quote
amin Kion wrote:looking for a laugh at someone elses expense,is what you meant to say.
Yes. Exactly that. That is what the majority of EVE encompasses isn't it? |
Vortexo VonBrenner
Coldest Sea Sailing
465
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Posted - 2013.06.18 22:14:00 -
[4] - Quote
Were you ever a new player OP?
I'm listening to-áBj+¦rk, playing EVE, eating fishsticks, and I'm cold....this is immersion gaming. |
DauntlessK
Research Industry Mining and Support Gatekeepers Universe
1
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Posted - 2013.06.18 22:21:00 -
[5] - Quote
Vortexo VonBrenner wrote:Were you ever a new player OP?
*Sigh* I'll answer your deliberately leading question. Yes a long time ago. I'm sure I asked my fair share of them. So what? Don't know why it has to be taken personally. No one is making fun of them, I'm laughing at the question asked. I don't know why people have to get defensive because some questions happen to be funny. That doesn't make the question stupid because it is funny for one reason or another, they obviously want to know something. I'm sure everyone has laughed at there share of failfits involving hull repps or whatever, is there a difference? |
Ruze
Next Stage Initiative Trans-Stellar Industries
367
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Posted - 2013.06.18 22:25:00 -
[6] - Quote
Seriously:
How do I save my game? If you're driven to threaten others with harm or violence because of what they do in game, you can't separate fantasy from reality. That "griefer/thief" is probably more sane than you are. How screwed up is that? |
Gallowmere Rorschach
Alpha Strategy The Unthinkables
147
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Posted - 2013.06.18 22:26:00 -
[7] - Quote
/sigh Start a thread for fun, gets turned into self-righteous attempts at guilt tripping.
Best one I've seen so far OP, during an op, the FC called for everyone to align to the sun when someone in comms says "dude, where's the f*cking sun? I don't see it in my overview." |
Vrenth
Nergal Tech Fatal Ascension
0
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Posted - 2013.06.18 23:59:00 -
[8] - Quote
I just did the math on this. In a interceptor flying at 10km/s, you would arrive at that gate in 76 years. Who wants to break it to him. |
Gallowmere Rorschach
Alpha Strategy The Unthinkables
158
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Posted - 2013.06.19 00:03:00 -
[9] - Quote
Vrenth wrote:I just did the math on this. In a interceptor flying at 10km/s, you would arrive at that gate in 76 years. Who wants to break it to him. That's not counting for daily downtime, or extended downtime for patches either. Every little bit counts when you are slowboating across a solar system. |
Doc Fury
Furious Enterprises
2520
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Posted - 2013.06.19 00:03:00 -
[10] - Quote
"Is there a skill for taming NPCs?"
followed by:
"Why not?"
The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the ho's and politicians will look up and shout 'Save us!' and I'll look down, and whisper 'Hodor'. |
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Liam Inkuras
Chaotic Tranquility Casoff
308
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Posted - 2013.06.19 01:17:00 -
[11] - Quote
"My ship just blew up, how do I get it back?"
Then:
"What do you mean I'm not given my ship back?!?!?!" I wear my goggles at night.
Any spelling/grammatical errors come complimentary with my typing on a phone |
Vortexo VonBrenner
Coldest Sea Sailing
465
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Posted - 2013.06.19 02:30:00 -
[12] - Quote
OP. I thought you were wanting to make fun of new players. I was wrong. I a....ap...ap...apologise. (*whew*)
I'm listening to-áBj+¦rk, playing EVE, eating fishsticks, and I'm cold....this is immersion gaming. |
DauntlessK
Research Industry Mining and Support Gatekeepers Universe
4
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Posted - 2013.06.19 02:39:00 -
[13] - Quote
Vortexo VonBrenner wrote:OP. I thought you were wanting to make fun of new players. I was wrong. I a....ap...ap...apologise. (*whew*)
Its alright. Actually I enjoy helping new players out. But they say the darndest things sometimes. |
Hevymetal
POT Corp Semper Ardens Alliance
67
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Posted - 2013.06.19 02:56:00 -
[14] - Quote
Can anyone here in local help me out with a mission? (While being asked in a .4 system)
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ShahFluffers
Ice Fire Warriors Late Night Alliance
2660
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Posted - 2013.06.19 03:37:00 -
[15] - Quote
Back when Titans had their old Area of Effect doomsdays...
*I jump into system with fleet* FC: Alright everyone... set up the camp here at (null-sec gate)!! Random: CYNO!!!
*BEEeeooooooooowwwwFEEEEEESH!!!!!!* *BEEeeooooooooowwwwFEEEEEESH!!!!!!*
FC: Two Titans in! Scatter!! Me: Oooooo... they're so... BIG... FC: Scatter you nub!! Me: Hey... why are they glowing like tha--
*POOF**splat* Change isn't bad, but it isn't always good. Sometimes, the oldest and most simple of things can be the most elegant and effective. |
Jake Warbird
Republic Military School Minmatar Republic
2942
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Posted - 2013.06.19 03:40:00 -
[16] - Quote
'Hey I just saw a bright blue flash and now I'm in station. Did I just level up?'
Stolen from someone's bio. |
La Rena
Snow Fox Inc.
10
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Posted - 2013.06.19 04:30:00 -
[17] - Quote
Heard this in local some odd years back;
nub: how do i put explosive charges into railguns
other player 1: charges? you need hybrid ammo for rails
nub: but isnt hybrid ammo is used for blasters
Other player 2: *explains to nub how the ammo system works in eve along how to load the proper ammo into his guns*
other player 1: thx for the lecture, you still suck ****
nub: now how do i get into contact with a gm
me: press the ctrl key followed by the q key to bring up the menu to get into quick contact with a gm for the verge vender server
nub: thanks *quits current session*
other player 2: nice, never thought i would see someone pull that one out of their a**
me: ;) wanna see some concordokken if nub comes back
local: |
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ISD Gallifreyan
ISD Community Communications Liaisons
182
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Posted - 2013.06.19 05:01:00 -
[18] - Quote
I have no stories to add here. I'm sure I asked a few doozies when I was new.
I will suggest anyone posting here be carefull not to post chat logs, or bash new players.
So far everyone has been repectfull of the rules.
Thank you. ISD Gallifreyan Lieutenant Community Communication Liaisons (CCLs) Interstellar Services Department |
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Peter Raptor
THE AESIR. Get in the Van.
521
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Posted - 2013.06.19 05:19:00 -
[19] - Quote
I don't recall funny noob questions, but i did commit a "noob" mistake once; was deep in null sec and wanted to quickly get to hisec, so decided to self destruct.........only later did I realise I hadn't upgraded my clone..........about 10 days worth of training gone in 60 seconds (approx) Evelopedia;-á
The Amarr Empire, is known for its omnipresent religion -áGÇá-á-á |
Cat Troll
Systems Federation Coalition of Galactic Unity
313
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Posted - 2013.06.19 05:40:00 -
[20] - Quote
I remember going into a level 4 with my CEO. Mind you I was a total nub, I was in an Incursus, he was supposed to get all the agro and then I come in and take care of frigates. Problem is that I forgot the part where he is supposed to get all the agro, I got through a gate without my CEO and before my computer could even react... splat.
I would also stop while fighting people because I thought that makes it easier to hit them. Lolwut: "Yes, you kids don't know how lucky you have it. These days noobs get given free tackle ships for PvP but back in the old days the only tackle ships we were given were our pods. We had to use them to bump their rookie ships out of alignment to stop them warping off." |
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bbb2020
Carebears with Attitude
60
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Posted - 2013.06.19 06:20:00 -
[21] - Quote
Here you go: http://omgrawr.net/ The official Eve Online make fun of noobs quote site
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Yummy Chocolate
Tribal Liberation Force Minmatar Republic
275
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Posted - 2013.06.19 06:54:00 -
[22] - Quote
DauntlessK wrote:"there was a flash of light and my ship turned into what looks like an egg, did i just level up?" fixed. |
Nihi Lismus
Chaos From Order Manifest Destiny.
157
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Posted - 2013.06.19 08:15:00 -
[23] - Quote
from a local chat, in a random starter system: wwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadsssssdddddwwwwaaaassssswswhy my ship doesn't move? |
Muad 'dib
The Imperial Fedaykin Amarrian Commandos
1135
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Posted - 2013.06.19 08:28:00 -
[24] - Quote
dont know but the question but the answer was "it is an amarr fighter used by carriers" Cosmic signature detected. . . . http://i.imgur.com/Z7NfIS6.jpg I got 99 likes, and this post aint one.
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Nariya Kentaya
Exclusion Cartel The Kadeshi
624
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Posted - 2013.06.19 09:07:00 -
[25] - Quote
Huh, cant think of any noob questions, not even of my own, since i kinda just jumped into EVE and never asked for help...
but there was one time where i actually asked how much money i could make in a week just repeatedly dokig deleting and redocking for noob ships and trit, and was actually amazed at how much it sounded like i could make.
i was a noob, and a kid, i was impressed by anything longer than 5 digits. |
Ace Menda
Phoibe Enterprises
70
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Posted - 2013.06.19 09:25:00 -
[26] - Quote
My personal favorite:
What should I do?
Followed by:
Where is the storyline quest system? Are you in need of some nice chat? Are you new and want some help? Look no further and join: Crazy Dutch Guy |
Ruze
Next Stage Initiative Trans-Stellar Industries
375
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Posted - 2013.06.19 11:46:00 -
[27] - Quote
Noob: Why does everyone keep telling me this game is huge? There's only like 100 people around me.
Vet: Hit F10, give it a minute to load, and you'll see.
Noob: What ... um ... what am I looking at?
Vet: See each one of those lights? That's another star system just like the one your in.
Noob: Oh, my ...
Silence
Noob: Now what do I do? If you're driven to threaten others with harm or violence because of what they do in game, you can't separate fantasy from reality. That "griefer/thief" is probably more sane than you are. How screwed up is that? |
Jove Death
Jovian Vengeance
1
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Posted - 2013.06.19 11:53:00 -
[28] - Quote
Hmm not sure this is a noob question
BUT......
After recent patch Pretty much all i heard was
How do i get into space as the undock button has gone.
Thats for vets and noobs |
DauntlessK
Research Industry Mining and Support Gatekeepers Universe
13
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Posted - 2013.06.19 15:09:00 -
[29] - Quote
Thank you for this! |
Khergit Deserters
1223
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Posted - 2013.06.19 15:13:00 -
[30] - Quote
[Outside high sec station] Upper level beginner player: "Oh crap, I just accidentally targetted the station!" Noob (me): "Is it possible to blow it up?" |
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