It's been an open secret now for a few months that I am seriously considering starting a bank and/or hedge fund.
Since I have established a trustworthy reputation,...

I don't know whether to laugh, or cry. Everytime I see someone talk about trust in here, and financial instruments, it's a mixture of facepalm, and worry that I'm going to read about another article coming out about some poor illiterate who loses $1,000 somehow.

I know VV doesn't like how the market threads are pretty dead, but these uncollaterized loans with dilusions of grandeur are probably why no one comes here

Tell you what, I'll bite, just answer this to my satisfaction and I'll put a billion in...

What mechanic is in place to prevent someone from taking the wallet and biomassing, after a wonderful donation to your main?

And for extra points, what could you possibly do with the money that I couldn't do for myself, avoiding having to pay your cut?

I am considering offering a personal guarantee to help jumpstart the venture as obviously the alt would have no history. The most trusted names in EVE would be offered board seats.

*edit* I was reading and missed your direct questions.

1. The main mechanic would the the board of directors, plus any good idea we can come up with. The reason I would not steal from the bank is simple. Large ponzis have been done before. I want to do something new. My goal is to create a successful bank that is about 10x the size of Phazer/EVE Bank, actually be honest, and use it to launch additional financial services that have never successfully be done before. Also, I believe after a good show that I will be able to sell my stake for a large multiple of profits, which would be more than I could possibly steal. It's basically at the top of my EVE bucket list. These last few points address what you couldn't do yourself. It's worth the investment just for the show.

Anyway, please offer your suggestions so I can get this launched with the maximum chance of success.

I sure do hope that the people appearing to take this clown seriously are actually ironically taking him seriously.

Irony, eh?

Perhaps Erotica1 should create a contest in parallel with her bank operation, where people bet on whether her bank, once it gets off the ground and running, will fail in say a year or so.

To bet, all they do is post in this thread with, "I take your bet. You will fail."

If the bank succeeds (no absconding with funds, no failure to make payments, etc.), everyone who bet pays out to Erotica1 a sum equal to all the funds paid by the bank to its clients, because unlike bankers they're trustworthy and will of course keep their word, and then Erotica1 gives all that ISK to her clients.

If the bank fails, everyone keeps their ISK and gets to pat themselves on the back for having big brains, because they knew all along that all bankers are really scammers.

Or something like that.

I sure do hope that the people appearing to take this clown seriously are actually ironically taking him seriously.

2014.03.18 08:47
EVE Bank Board of Directors Indications of Interest

From: Erotica 1
To: Aria Stane, Professor Clio, Daquaris, Iamien, Matias Otero, Eep Eep, Tora Bushido, Scooter McCabe, Bad Bobby, GreatGold, Chribba, Jeronica, The Mittani, Istvaan Shogaatsu, James 315, Darknesss, Psychotic Monk

Dear Friends (and others!),

As some of you know, I long to start a great financial institution someday to dwarf all those that have come before. Here is my public announcement thread of the general idea:

https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=4356913

Right now I am just in the exploratory stage, mapping out a good course of action to give this venture the greatest chance of success. I am in no rush, but want to reach out to you now. Each of you has been carefully selected as a potential member of the future board of directors. I envision the board to be small but varied in experience and histories. For instance, I would very much like to have at least one politically agnostic third party, such as Chribba. I would also like to have at least a couple representatives from opposing nullsec alliances, as well as some others from highsec and lowsec. Beyond choosing capable people, I want to broadcast a clear message to the general public that the bank is open for everyone.

Counting up how many people are missing the (not very good) joke is starting to alarm me.

I sure do hope that the people appearing to take this clown seriously are actually ironically taking him seriously.

3. For clients with an appetite for higher risk and hopefully higher return, I would offer a hedge fund. I'm thinking 90 day holding periods with a 14 day minimum withdrawal notification. What would be a good expense ratio to charge? I'm thinking 5% per quarter plus 25% of profits, possibly with a high water mark feature in case of any quarters that have losses.

As soon as I read this I started chuckling. Not at the idea, but how funny it was that you cleverly absorbed so many different policies from so many recent lending and banking start-ups posting on the MD forums as of late. +1 for the brilliant sarcasm

2 questions: Will I be forced to rub mayonnaise all over my chest and send in a pic of this, to open an account? Or will I be required to contract all of my assets and funds over first, as a show of faith?

it's staggering how bad you are at self reflection


you are basically doing the exact same thing as erotica here only with some sort of superiority complex
what makes him illegitimate and you trustworthy?

for all the good either one of you are doing at least he is amusing and not nearly as long winded (aka you post to many words that say nothing and are boring)

If only EVE would allow you to take out a mortgage on your characters... then your bank could provide credit to bonus room customers allowing them to take full advantage of the opportunity (instead of being limited by the assets they have at hand).

Such a great potential for synergy ruined by CCP's inability to implement a proper mortgage & debt collection process.

Well I encourage any doubters to Google me. My motivations are not primarily isk, otherwise I wouldn't conduct bonus rounds that sometimes take 5-10 hours for so little possible gain. I'd be better off running missions.

The board would not include any sociopaths, I assure you. Look, this won't be for everyone, I understand. I'm looking for open-minded investors and clients who would like to have a front seat to an exciting ride of EVE content creation.

If you are afraid this is a scam, then I don't really want your isk as it would be clearly too much for you to risk.

*edit* If I got bored with it or was away from game, the board would either replace me or follow the predetermined rules for winding down the bank, paying back clients and investors.

I don't think you understand whom the board would consist of. Only the most trusted names in the game would be invited to the board, not random nobodies.

*edit 2* That came out wrong- I did not mean any offense if you are random and no one knows who you are.

Until it becomes impossible to biomass your char and start another one, move your assets to other character, etc. debt is irrelevant.

Find a way for CCP to keep you account tied to you, not your account, not your char, but you, and keep the game interesting enough for you not to quit, and maybe,.,..

It's Erotica 1.

How the hell did this thread gain traction

Its simple, there are several people in EVE sitting on huge amount of money, that want to leverage it in the market. As long as no bank is in existence, this is a job in itself. With a bank, the lever is in hands of that banker, you just can sit back and do other things in EVE.

It's Erotica 1. The people you're talking about have both the isk and know better. So my question stands.

2014.03.18 08:47
EVE Bank Board of Directors Indications of Interest

From: Erotica 1
To: The Mittani, Istvaan Shogaatsu, James 315

I didn't answer the trust part, since you were asking about the WHY of the thread interest, this is WHY. As long there is no decent lever in the game that makes it possible to work silent money, grendell and some others work hard for another mans isk, but when a bank would come it, it would make everyone work their own corner. It would be a far heather lever as the ones offered now.

In essence you will have created the most basic means that this game can cater to in terms of a bank.

Or just continue down this hard long path of nothing but discouragement - continue getting grilled by all naysayers & skeptical forum goers.

I feel you don't fully understand my thought process yet.

Imagine you had just sent ISK to Erotica and now she opens a conversation window with you, telling you that you are her 100th customer and have been invited into the bonus room. You quickly recap the bonus room rules (show faith by following all her instructions and receive back 5x your total assets, fail her and lose everything) and realize immediately that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity!
But oh no you are notoriously ill equipped for this singular opportunity as you are constantly broke and even five times nothing does still amount to nothing :(

Erotica Banking Services to the rescue! With just a few keystrokes you have arranged to take out a mortgage on your 5 year-old main character. At a reasonable interest rate and for a very modest processing fee you are flush with cash in an instant. Now you can take advantage of this splendid opportunity!

If you win you can easily pay back the loan and if you should lose Erotica Banking Services can initiate foreclosure on your character within the hour (having just lost all your assets you won't be able to repay the loan - unless you have been holding back in which case it is no wonder that you lost, you dirty cheater! people like you give this game a bad name!) , the character passes into the property of Erotica Banking Services and will then undergo Erotica's rigorous scientific testing procedures or find some other useful application.

As you see there is no need for anything fancy like linking accounts to rl identities or preventing you from biomassing to enable this wonderful win-win scenario. All that is required is for CCP to implement a simple mortgage contract that accepts characters for collateral.

I feel you don't fully understand my thought process yet.

Imagine you had just sent ISK to Erotica and now she opens a conversation window with you, telling you that you are her 100th customer and have been invited into the bonus room. You quickly recap the bonus room rules (show faith by following all her instructions and receive back 5x your total assets, fail her and lose everything) and realize immediately that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity!
But oh no you are notoriously ill equipped for this singular opportunity as you are constantly broke and even five times nothing does still amount to nothing :(

Erotica Banking Services to the rescue! With just a few keystrokes you have arranged to take out a mortgage on your 5 year-old main character. At a reasonable interest rate and for a very modest processing fee you are flush with cash in an instant. Now you can take advantage of this splendid opportunity!

If you win you can easily pay back the loan and if you should lose Erotica Banking Services can initiate foreclosure on your character within the hour (having just lost all your assets you won't be able to repay the loan - unless you have been holding back in which case it is no wonder that you lost, you dirty cheater! people like you give this game a bad name!) , the character passes into the property of Erotica Banking Services and will then undergo Erotica's rigorous scientific testing procedures or find some other useful application.

As you see there is no need for anything fancy like linking accounts to rl identities or preventing you from biomassing to enable this wonderful win-win scenario. All that is required is for CCP to implement a simple mortgage contract that accepts characters for collateral.

ANYONE ACTUALLY TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY ( other than Erotica )

STOP BEING DUMB.

Sometimes i do lose faith in the level of common sense of pilots in Eve.

my trusted escrow agents

Erotica 1, isn't that the one involved in cyberbullying?

http://jestertrek.blogspot.nl/2014/03/the-bonus-round.html
http://massively.joystiq.com/2014/03/25/heres-some-of-the-cyberbullying-that-happens-in-eve-online/

Erotica 1, isn't that the one involved in cyberbullying?

http://jestertrek.blogspot.nl/2014/03/the-bonus-round.html
http://massively.joystiq.com/2014/03/25/heres-some-of-the-cyberbullying-that-happens-in-eve-online/

I've always wanted to start an honest bank to exceed the huge scams. Imagine the shock when it's achieved and there's no scam.

I've always wanted to start an honest bank to exceed the huge scams. Imagine the shock when it's achieved and there's no scam.

March 28, 2014 at 9:18 PM
Is there not someone out there who can top my investment in the New Order? My longterm goal was to scam 10 trillion isk in a ponzi (run by notorious Erotica 1 no less) then tithe no less than 10% to James for shares. I wanted my volluntary amount to actually exceed Phazer Inc, Eve Bank, etc.

I cannot do that now.