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Doreen Kaundur 152	Posted - 2014.05.18 23:12:00 - [1] - Quote How to Forgive One of the thorniest and most difficult things we humans are ever called upon to do is to respond to evil with kindness, and to forgive the unforgivable. We love to read stories about people who have responded to hatred with love, but when that very thing is demanded of us personally, our default seems to be anger, angst (dread or anguish), depression, self-righteousness, hatred, etc. Yet study after study shows that one of the keys to longevity and good health is to develop a habit of gratitude and let go of past hurts. Want to live a long, happy life? Forgive the unforgivable. It really is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Your enemy may not deserve to be forgiven for all the pain and sadness and suffering purposefully inflicted on your life, but you deserve to be free of this evil. As Ann Landers often said, "hate is like an acid. It damages the vessel in which it is stored, and destroys the vessel on which it is poured." Steps 1. Realize that the hate you feel toward your adversary does not harm him or her in the way that you want. "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for it to kill your enemy." 2. Understand that the best revenge against your enemies is to live a successful and happy life. Want to get even with someone who tried to destroy you? Show them and show yourself (and the world) that the obstacles they tried to create were not significant enough to disable you and/or destroy you. 3. Realize that the second best revenge is to turn the evil into something good, to find the proverbial silver lining in the dark cloud. Think of your enemy as someone who has helped you to grow. Even though unfortunate things happen to us, the best thing we can do is take those opportunities as tests that will either destroy or strengthen us. If you've been through something, it didn't destroy you - take what you learned and become a better person because of it. 4. Make a list of the good things that emerged as a result of this awful experience. You've probably focused long enough on the negative parts of this experience. Look at the problem from a completely new angle; look at the positive side. The first item on that list may be long overdue because you have focused on the negative for so long. See if you can identify 10 positive outcomes of this experience. 5. Look for the helpers. Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers) related that, as a little boy, he'd often become upset about major catastrophes in the news. His mother would tell him, "look for the helpers." In your own nightmarish experience, think back to the people who helped you. Think about their kindness and selflessness Practice what you have learned from them. Was someone your "Good Samaritan"? In this biblical story, a traveler helps a poor soul who was beaten up on the road to Jericho and left for dead. Perhaps this isn't all about you. Perhaps your trial provided an opportunity for others to rise to an occasion to provide you with help and support. 6. Be compassionate with yourself. If you've ruminated over this problem for a long time, steering this boat into a new direction could take some time, too. As you try to make a new path out of the dark woods of this old hurt, you'll make mistakes. Forgive yourself. Be patient and kind to yourself. Extreme emotional pain has a profound effect on the body. Give yourself time to heal - physically and emotionally. Eat well. Rest. Focus on the natural beauty in the world. Give yourself permission to feel the emotions and process them. Don't bottle up the pain. 7. Learn that the Aramaic word for "forgive" means literally to "untie." The fastest way to free yourself from an enemy and all associated negativity is to forgive. Untie the bindings and loosen yourself from that person's ugliness. Your hatred has tied you to the person responsible for your pain. Your forgiveness enables you to start walking away from him or her and the pain. Forgiveness is for you and not the other party. Freeing yourself through forgiveness is like freeing yourself from chains of bondage or from prison. 8. Learn how to balance trust with wisdom. It's a fact that not all of our fellow humans are trustworthy. Painful memories can serve to protect us from future hurts. As author Rose Sweet writes, "A lack of trust is sometimes simply recognizing another's limitations". Forgiveness is not acceptance of wrong behavior. If you must continue to interact with someone who has wronged you, who has offered a lame apology only to follow it up with more bad behavior, nothing requires you to trust such a person. This person isn't likely to ever be trustworthy -- you must keep a distance. While it's fruitless to torment yourself over this person's actions, you should not be his or her willing victim. Acknowledge; move on. An offender who wants reconciliation must do his or her part: offer a sincere apology, promise not to repeat the offense (or similar ones), make amends, and give it time. If you don't see repentance, understand that according forgiveness to that person is a benefit to yourself, not to the offender. Unless those who have harmed us have truly repented of whatever they have done, we need to use wisdom in avoiding repeating the hurt. This may require avoiding those who are unrepentant of the harm that they have inflicted upon us. It would be wise to balance forgiveness against the certain knowledge that evil exists, and some people enjoy harming others. For all your Freighter-ásize shipping needs, contact Lord Chanlin*. Fast, affordable, reliable service. https://gate.eveonline.com/Profile/Lord%20Chanlin
Doreen Kaundur 152	Posted - 2014.05.18 23:12:00 - [2] - Quote -reserved- For all your Freighter-ásize shipping needs, contact Lord Chanlin. Fast, affordable, reliable service. https://gate.eveonline.com/Profile/Lord%20Chanlin
Erica Dusette Rolled Out 7709	Posted - 2014.05.18 23:37:00 - [3] - Quote Confirming the best way to forgive is to have make up sex. Major (Ret.) Caldari Militia \| Part-time wormhole pirate \| Full-time super model Gÿá Wormhole Diary \| GÖí #420roloswag
Webvan All Kill No Skill 4912	Posted - 2014.05.18 23:37:00 - [4] - Quote You posted a 12 step program in OOPE? lol "Forgive & Forget" Not overly complicated nor spewed out psychology. All the steps in the world wont help if you do not want to forgive. Of course that can amount to health issues for some... and seemingly longevity for others heh
Erica Dusette Rolled Out 7709	Posted - 2014.05.18 23:40:00 - [5] - Quote Webvan wrote: You posted a 12 step program in OOPE? lol "Forgive & Forget" Not overly complicated nor spewed out psychology. All the steps in the world wont help if you do not want to forgive. Of course that can amount to health issues for some... and seemingly longevity for others heh Webby ... All this fighting over WiS. I want to move past it now. Forgive you ... Step into my Captains Quarters and we can go a round or three in the name of moving on? Major (Ret.) Caldari Militia \| Part-time wormhole pirate \| Full-time super model Gÿá Wormhole Diary \| GÖí #420roloswag
Grimpak Shifting Sands Trader Cartel Bleak Horizon Alliance. 1517	Posted - 2014.05.18 23:41:00 - [6] - Quote a wise man said once "Tolerate and respect each other. If you know how, do tell." [img]http://eve-files.com/sig/grimpak[/img] [quote]The more I know about humans, the more I love animals.[/quote] ain't that right
Webvan All Kill No Skill 4912	Posted - 2014.05.18 23:53:00 - [7] - Quote Erica Dusette wrote: Webby ... All this fighting over WiS. I want to move past it now. Forgive you ... Don't lecture me, Erica Dusette! I see through the lies of the Fedo. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new Empire.
Erica Dusette Rolled Out 7712	Posted - 2014.05.19 00:11:00 - [8] - Quote Webvan wrote: Erica Dusette wrote: Webby ... All this fighting over WiS. I want to move past it now. Forgive you ... Don't lecture me, Erica Dusette! I see through the lies of the Fedo. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new Empire. I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'd like to know how you found out I don't do the back-door thing. Major (Ret.) Caldari Militia \| Part-time wormhole pirate \| Full-time super model Gÿá Wormhole Diary \| GÖí #420roloswag
Sibyyl Brave Collective 984	Posted - 2014.05.19 02:49:00 - [9] - Quote DK, I love your posts. Never know what to expect.. Take solace knowing that even after the sun sets, and your sky is filled with darkness, that the sun is still shining. -D. Entervention Psychotic Monk joins BNI
Slade Trillgon Brutor Force Federated 2871	Posted - 2014.05.19 02:49:00 - [10] - Quote First step to forgivess; imho, is to learn to accept others for who they are and not what they 'did' to 'me'.
Webvan All Kill No Skill 4925	Posted - 2014.05.19 04:15:00 - [11] - Quote Slade Trillgon wrote: First step to forgivess; imho, is to learn to accept others for who they are and not what they 'did' to 'me'. Yeah, I could never do that 'accept' thing. I have much tolerance, I can agree to disagree, but I don't make myself a target to someone to step on me again and again for blatant hostility sake. You can't change people,they are who they are, and where you could forgive them, does not mean you need to accept them and make yourself available to do it again to you. People say turn the other cheek, but I don't believe the original true intended meaning of that was to offer but to actually dodge.
Abrazzar Vardaugas Family 3446	Posted - 2014.05.19 06:16:00 - [12] - Quote The first step in forgiveness is making the other beg for it. Just forgiving someone without them earning it will result in them stepping on you again next time. And again. And again. And again. You will be forever underfoot. Sovereignty and Population New Mining Mechanics
Grimpak Shifting Sands Trader Cartel Bleak Horizon Alliance. 1518	Posted - 2014.05.19 08:28:00 - [13] - Quote Webvan wrote: Slade Trillgon wrote: First step to forgivess; imho, is to learn to accept others for who they are and not what they 'did' to 'me'. Yeah, I could never do that 'accept' thing. I have much tolerance, I can agree to disagree, but I don't make myself a target to someone to step on me again and again for blatant hostility sake. You can't change people,they are who they are, and where you could forgive them, does not mean you need to accept them and make yourself available to do it again to you. People say turn the other cheek, but I don't believe the original true intended meaning of that was to offer but to actually dodge. thus why I said that about the wise man. tolerating and respecting people is all nice and dandy, in paper. reality tells us that even the most tolerant and respectful individual won't be able to do it every time, to people he probably doesn't like or to someone who did wrong to him. it's our nature. [img]http://eve-files.com/sig/grimpak[/img] [quote]The more I know about humans, the more I love animals.[/quote] ain't that right
Slade Trillgon Brutor Force Federated 2875	Posted - 2014.05.19 10:02:00 - [14] - Quote Webvan wrote: Slade Trillgon wrote: First step to forgivess; imho, is to learn to accept others for who they are and not what they 'did' to 'me'. Yeah, I could never do that 'accept' thing. I have much tolerance, I can agree to disagree, but I don't make myself a target to someone to step on me again and again for blatant hostility sake. You can't change people,they are who they are, and where you could forgive them, does not mean you need to accept them and make yourself available to do it again to you. People say turn the other cheek, but I don't believe the original true intended meaning of that was to offer but to actually dodge. This was more in line with my experiences with my daughter's mother. What she did to me I have to believe it was not truly her (hormones and all) so I am trying not to blame her for what she did. As for the accepting them for who they are, again it has to do with her lifestyle and it is not 'wrong' but it does not mesh with my lifestyle in a way where we are not compatible long term material. I need to learn to accept her lifestyle so as not to tarnish our relationship with our daughter. Me holding a grudge against my ex would be toxic all around, therefore I must learn to at the least tolerate. I need to set my example and let my daughter find her way. She is a smart cookie so I have to believe she will see the light. EDIT: I also agree that in most cases tolerance is probably not the best step. It is in this scenario; as far as I am concerned. I just was thinking outloud on the forums
Debora Tsung The Investment Bankers Guild 1053	Posted - 2014.05.19 10:04:00 - [15] - Quote The Emperor never forgets! Minor transgressions however might be forgiven. THIS TIME! Stupidity should be a bannable offense. Also This --> https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=216699 Please stop making "afk cloak" threads, thanks in advance.
Orla- King-Griffin Var Foundation inc. 44	Posted - 2014.05.19 10:09:00 - [16] - Quote It's a lot easier to forgive someone when you have their corpse in your ~~Garage~~ Hangar.
Debora Tsung The Investment Bankers Guild 1053	Posted - 2014.05.19 10:26:00 - [17] - Quote Also, as an afterthought on forgiving, I want to quote one veteran of the french foreign legion that my father used to know. Backstory: The guy, according to his own claims, fought in Africa before WWII, got captured, lost a leg during the interrogation and somehow even managed to make his way back to Germany alive. The Quote: The thing with the leg is ok, no hard feelings. I've killed so many of them, we're even. Yep, what a forgiving and kind soul. Stupidity should be a bannable offense. Also This --> https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=216699 Please stop making "afk cloak" threads, thanks in advance.
Crompton Aberforth University of Caille Gallente Federation 138	Posted - 2014.05.19 12:38:00 - [18] - Quote Thanks for your post. I love well thought out ideas like this. Walking a mile in someone else's shoes is also a valuable tool for understanding someone's action. Even partial understanding can help with forgiveness. Ann Landers is also reported to have said GÇ£Hanging onto resentment is like letting someone you despise live rent-free in your headGÇ¥. The object of your resentment / anger may genuinely be oblivious to your pain. While they are getting on with their life you are becoming more and more miserable. At that point they have won, and they didn't even know it was a competition. In my opinion a great strategy is to train yourself to control your attitude and reaction to events, even events which were not in your control. If you look around for people who are worse off than you, it is highly likely you will find them. Surprisingly many of them may be far happier than you are. Why? They choose to be happy. It doesn't mean their life is anywhere near perfect, but it can certainly help make it more bearable. I am the space cadet your mother warned you about.
Ralph King-Griffin Var Foundation inc. 1492	Posted - 2014.05.19 15:24:00 - [19] - Quote Orla- King-Griffin wrote: It's a lot easier to forgive someone when you have their corpse in your ~~Garage~~ Hangar. It's a lot harder to forgive someone when you Are the corpse in their ~~Garage~~ Hangar.
Marsha Mallow 615	Posted - 2014.05.19 19:50:00 - [20] - Quote Interesting read, you redirect to more diverse articles than my daily news sites Doreen I tend to forgive, but not forget. I've been ignoring certain people (including family members) for decades. Mainly because it really irks them. Which is petty, but entertaining :P I know a couple of people (who are extraordinarily nice, one is my mother) who are so quick to forgive they lose sight of what happened in the first place. It's a tad frustrating watching people grapple with abusive relationships with colleagues/partners and be powerless to really help because they lock themselves into the cycle. It's also a bit annoying when they go from the extremes of anger to revisionist remarks. Some folk are just toxic, and the sensible thing to do is remove yourself from their sphere and forget about them. They aren't worth the effort of getting annoyed over. TO THE RIPARDMOBILE!
Orla- King-Griffin Var Foundation inc. 49	Posted - 2014.05.19 20:00:00 - [21] - Quote On a semi serious note, sometimes forgiveness isn't healthy or appropriate. Still though, more often than not it is.
Marsha Mallow 616	Posted - 2014.05.19 20:11:00 - [22] - Quote Everything in moderation Or not TO THE RIPARDMOBILE!
Reaver Glitterstim Dromedaworks inc Test Alliance Please Ignore 1393	Posted - 2014.05.19 22:14:00 - [23] - Quote I never had trouble forgiving. What I didn't get was how a person could stay mad at someone else for something that happened a long time ago. People have told me I have a gift, but it doesn't feel like a gift. It makes me feel vulnerable. I can't correctly assess people's intentions. I give people room where others later tell me I shouldn't have, and I get hurt. It's a hard road to climb. I think what they mean by me having a gift is it's a gift for the people around me, not for me. I've seen many proverbs about how great it is to do X selfless act, and none of the people telling them stop to admit that sometimes the only benefit is to those around you. Now that's not to say that being nice doesn't have its benefits, it absolutely does. But there are a lot of times when being nice does not benefit you, and many of those proverbs out there are flat-out wrong when it comes to self-serving. p.s.: can someone please explain to me how to know when to not forgive? And when I know I shouldn't, how do I not? When someone asks for my trust and I don't trust them, how do I respond without antagonizing that person? Answering this question won't just help me, it may help those of you who stop to consider it. Fit a warfare link to your tech 1 battlecruiser. Train Wing Commander. Get in the Squad Commander or Wing Commander position. Your fleets will be superior to everyone else's. (had this sig BEFORE Odyssey BC rebalance) And bring back the missile Inquisitor!!
Astenion The Scope Gallente Federation 386	Posted - 2014.05.20 14:11:00 - [24] - Quote Forgiveness depends on the act. If your girlfriend cheats on you, you can break up with her and then forgive her later and not worry about it. What's done is done and there's no use carrying around that baggage. However, if someone murders/rapes/molests you/your family/someone you care about, I don't see why you have to forgive them, and neither do I see why it's an admirable quality to do so. Some people shouldn't be forgiven. This is why I fully support the death penalty; maybe not how it's implemented currently, but the idea that certain people just aren't meant to breathe is a concept I agree with fully.
Sibyyl Brave Collective 1067	Posted - 2014.05.20 19:21:00 - [25] - Quote Just quoting one of my favorite poems by Blake: I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow. And I watered it in fears, Night and morning with my tears; And I sunned it with smiles, And with soft deceitful wiles. And it grew both day and night, Till it bore an apple bright. And my foe beheld it shine. And he knew that it was mine, And into my garden stole When the night had veiled the pole; In the morning glad I see My foe outstretched beneath the tree Take solace knowing that even after the sun sets, and your sky is filled with darkness, that the sun is still shining. -D. Entervention Psychotic Monk joins BNI
Reaver Glitterstim Dromedaworks inc Test Alliance Please Ignore 1404	Posted - 2014.05.21 02:10:00 - [26] - Quote I am opposed to the death penalty because I don't trust any single group to be a good judge of who should live and who should die. I'd rather pay tax money to keep ten violent, psychopathic, remorseless murderers alive and locked up than have one halfway-innocent person be put to death. Fit a warfare link to your tech 1 battlecruiser. Train Wing Commander. Get in the Squad Commander or Wing Commander position. Your fleets will be superior to everyone else's. (had this sig BEFORE Odyssey BC rebalance) And bring back the missile Inquisitor!!
Reaver Glitterstim Dromedaworks inc Test Alliance Please Ignore 1405	Posted - 2014.05.21 03:30:00 - [27] - Quote I also wish to make it abundantly clear that I hold no ill feelings toward people merely for being a psycopath or a sociopath. Some people are born that way, many of them are good people. Just because a certain crime would only be committed by a psychopath does not mean that a psychopath is likely to commit that crime. Psychopaths and sociopaths are a poorly understood and highly persecuted group of people that we need to stop hating indiscriminately and start welcoming into our lives. Assuming a person is bad because they have a certain uncommon trait causes more harm than the people in that group who are not nice people. I have a distant friendship with a sociopath. We haven't spoken in a long time but for a short while I was able to call her friend, and she was able to see me as a fun person to talk to. We both learned a lot from the other, and our relationship was very healthy. Fit a warfare link to your tech 1 battlecruiser. Train Wing Commander. Get in the Squad Commander or Wing Commander position. Your fleets will be superior to everyone else's. (had this sig BEFORE Odyssey BC rebalance) And bring back the missile Inquisitor!!
Ham the Astrochimp Imperial Academy Amarr Empire 153	Posted - 2014.05.21 03:36:00 - [28] - Quote o o oo eeh yous can have Hams forgiveness when yous pry it from me cold de4d paw! Haaaaaaaaa!!
Reaver Glitterstim Dromedaworks inc Test Alliance Please Ignore 1405	Posted - 2014.05.21 03:43:00 - [29] - Quote Ham, nobody is asking you to let someone get away with hurting you. But if you learn to stop letting other people's faults get you down, it makes you a lot happier. But from the looks of it, you seem to be doing pretty well there I think. Fit a warfare link to your tech 1 battlecruiser. Train Wing Commander. Get in the Squad Commander or Wing Commander position. Your fleets will be superior to everyone else's. (had this sig BEFORE Odyssey BC rebalance) And bring back the missile Inquisitor!!
Marcus Gord Stormcrows 53024	Posted - 2014.05.21 08:18:00 - [30] - Quote i'm one of those forgive but never forget kind of people. most of the time. sometimes you just gotta give in to wrath. You can't take the sky from me ".....Storm'd at with shot and shell, Boldly they rode and well....."
Captain Finklestein School of Applied Knowledge Caldari State 13	Posted - 2014.05.23 06:06:00 - [31] - Quote Some dude called me a "no-lifer" a few hours ago because he didn't like the size of my mining fleet. I was about to hire Marmite to wardec his corp. Then I read your post. I'm still about to hire Marmite to wardec his corp. Moral of the story: Get some sweet ******* revenge before you forgive someone.
Da'iel Zehn Evil Frosty's Premium Liqours and Fine Wines 155	Posted - 2014.05.23 15:47:00 - [32] - Quote It is easier to forgive when someone actually apologizes and realizes what they did was wrong. Forgiving in this example is mercy. Forgiving someone who does not apologize and recognize what they did was wrong is grace. I've been given mercy and grace in my life, so it is right for me to do the same. I've hurt other people in some form or fashion in my life too... much to my regret. Recognizing that helps me forgive others. In regards to EvE, even if I forgive you, your name will remain on my hit list until I see your ship disintegrate into flames and your corpse is in my hanger. Yes, I still have a few people from 10 years ago on my list. Daniel Zehn Keeper of Evil Frosty PLEX for...-á :-)
Doreen Kaundur 472	Posted - 2014.06.09 12:30:00 - [33] - Quote 10 Reasons to Forgive the Person You Hate the Most Quote: 1. Forgiveness allows us to take responsibility for our own happiness. Most of what we attract into our lives is a mere reflection of what is inside of us. Our thoughts and actions create our exterior world. The Law of Attraction teaches us that like attracts like, and we will never experience a happy ending at the end of an unhappy journey. By holding onto anger and resentment (even in our subconscious mind), we are pre-paving our journey to be filled with anger and resentment. The way we feel and the emotions we hold are what we use to create all of our future experiences. (Read The Secret.) 2. Forgiveness allows us to see everyone in our lives as a teacher. Family members, spouses, friends, bosses, etc. GÇô everyone is brought into our lives to teach us more about ourselves. Thanking them for being a part of our journey and teaching us lessons that we now no longer need to learn is an incredible step in expanding our consciousness. This same philosophy applies to our negative, failed relationships too. Once you truly learn the lesson behind why a negative relationship came into your life, you will then no longer attract situations and future relationships that attempt to teach you the same lesson. You get to graduate and grow so you no longer keep repeating the same unpleasant experience over and over again. 3. Forgiveness helps us stop playing the victim card. Adjusting your perspective to a place of forgiveness and gratitude allows you to no longer play the victim card. Most of the time you are not a victim of anything other than your own vibration and level of attraction. When you continue to blame someone else, you automatically give control of your life to someone else and thus set yourself up to be a lifelong victim. 4. Forgiveness makes us aware that most people are doing the best they can. Have compassion for where other people are in their lives. It might not be where you are, but most people are doing the best they can at their particular level of awareness and understanding. (Read The Four Agreements.) 5. Forgiveness embodies the concept of GÇ£what goes around comes around.GÇ¥ We are all human and we have all done GÇ£unthinkableGÇ¥ things. And deep down, we all yearn for the same forgiveness. When we release others from the penalties of their actions, we create a space where our own thoughtless actions against others can be forgiven as well. 6. Forgiveness forces our own level of consciousness to expand. The process of growth is continuous. The moment we stop learning, searching for lessons and expanding our consciousness, the ego steps in and takes over. We are always moving toward something greater, and forgiveness helps us get there faster by eliminating our ties to dead weight from our past. 7. Forgiveness teaches us to keep our expectations tempered. We should never be expecting anything from anyone. When we do this, we give up our own power to decide. We alone are the creator of our universe, and when we are connected to our own inner source, we no longer GÇ£needGÇ¥ anything from anyone. ItGÇÖs still nice to receive things from time to time, but we donGÇÖt need these things to move forward with our lives. (Read Forgiveness Is a Choice.) 8. Forgiveness teaches us to tone down our instincts for self-preservation. Too often we injure one another simply because we are trying to protect ourselves (financially, emotionally, etc.), even when itGÇÖs at someone elseGÇÖs expense. We have all done it. Becoming aware of this pattern allows us to stop needlessly injuring others for our own benefit. And as you know, what goes around comes aroundGÇª 9. Forgiveness creates a space to let go and love. Not everyone and every situation is meant to be a part of our lives forever. Sometimes they are only there long enough to help us open the next chapter of our story. Letting go creates space to let new people and experiences in. In addition, we are all connected. We have never met another person that we have not loved in some small way. Sometimes we just donGÇÖt consciously know how to understand it and show it. Simply put, forgiveness in and of itself is an act of letting go of our differences and connecting with our oneness and love for each other and the world we inhabit. 10. Forgiveness is the best revenge. A bit of sarcasm in this one, but itGÇÖs so true. You can always seek revenge positively by creating a better future for yourself. Because nothing annoys an adversary or negative force in your life more than seeing you smile after you have genuinely forgiven them and moved forward with your life. 1. Minor navigation color change. 2. Show bookmarks in the overview.
Ralph King-Griffin Var Foundation inc. 1836	Posted - 2014.06.09 12:36:00 - [34] - Quote 11. You have their corpse in your ~~Garage~~ Hangar. "CAKE CANNOT HOLD UP TO BEING A CHARACTER DAMNIT." Unsuccessful At Everything
Dorian Tormak Brutor Tribe Minmatar Republic 230	Posted - 2014.06.09 17:44:00 - [35] - Quote I find it easier to have no forgiveness at all, and in the end I think it's the same whether you forgive everyone who wrongs you or whether you forgive none of them. The point is to live your life the way you see fit, and to not let anyone into a position where they are able to wrong you in the first place. If they do something bad or something mean, you walk away, or do something equally mean right back to them. I think most people are able to tell who deserves to be in their life and who doesn't. The main thing is to strive to be a nice person yourself. Don't give in to anger, do as you will, if someone has something negative to say, don't think about what they have to say, think about what you have to say. Avoid being angry at all costs, I am only angered in the most extreme circumstances. Once you accomplish being a nice person and being happy all of the time, nothing anyone does can really harm you, you are able to laugh in the face of all the bullshit. Just get everything done and move on and keep going forward. Like that one saying goes, forgive but never forget! To me it's less about forgiveness and more about say... transcendence. I am FAKE. And I lack charisma. Can you feel my complete and utter superiority?
Unsuccessful At Everything The Troll Bridge 14159	Posted - 2014.06.09 18:01:00 - [36] - Quote So you're saying that wrath ISNT the answer... * sips coffee and rethinks life. *Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?*
Da'iel Zehn Blue Republic RvB - BLUE Republic 165	Posted - 2014.06.09 18:04:00 - [37] - Quote Unsuccessful At Everything wrote: So you're saying that wrath ISNT the answer... * sips coffee and rethinks life. If wrath brings about a recognition of wrong doing... then I think it has its place. hehe Daniel Zehn Keeper of Evil Frosty PLEX for...-á :-)
Eurydia Vespasian Storm Hunters Disturbed Acquaintance 8834	Posted - 2014.06.09 18:15:00 - [38] - Quote I find that I have a easier time forgiving others than I have forgiving myself. =(
Reaver Glitterstim The Scope Gallente Federation 1512	Posted - 2014.06.09 18:40:00 - [39] - Quote I always listen to Infected Mushroom - Forgive Me while reading this thread. Fit a warfare link to your tech 1 battlecruiser. Train Wing Commander. Get in the Squad Commander or Wing Commander position. Your fleets will be superior to everyone else's. (had this sig BEFORE Odyssey BC rebalance) "What if [climate change is] a big hoax and we create a better world for nothing?" -comic on Greenmonk
DaReaper Net 7 The Last Brigade 612	Posted - 2014.06.09 20:47:00 - [40] - Quote good read, but i'll ignore the biblical mumbo jumbo at the end. (not ment to offend, i'm a deist so take that for whats its worth) 10 years of eve... yea i'm an addict
Khergit Deserters Crom's Angels 3241	Posted - 2014.06.09 23:16:00 - [41] - Quote I suppose all of the old philosophies have teachings about forgiveness. The ones I've seen present it like this: If you don't forgive, you're holding a negative in you that's probably hurting you more than it's hurting the other person. You're just binding yourself and limiting your own freedom of action by holding onto that grudge. If you let it go and let the other person go, you just increase your own power, freedom, happiness and well-being. "Were [sic] not your monkey and so what?"-á -The Sex Pistols (2006)
Reaver Glitterstim The Scope Gallente Federation 1518	Posted - 2014.06.09 23:42:00 - [42] - Quote There's a saying I heard somewhere: Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting somebody else to die. Fit a warfare link to your tech 1 battlecruiser. Train Wing Commander. Get in the Squad Commander or Wing Commander position. Your fleets will be superior to everyone else's. (had this sig BEFORE Odyssey BC rebalance) "What if [climate change is] a big hoax and we create a better world for nothing?" -comic on Greenmonk
Brujo Loco Brujeria Teologica 1214	Posted - 2014.06.10 20:11:00 - [43] - Quote Interestingly enough, the times I have felt angry at someone, I usually end up realizing my flaws, perhaps part of my Imperial Conditioning at College, or perhaps the fact once someone told me a lot of stuff no one ever again will tell me about myself: THE COLD UNCARING TRUTH. I can forgive people most of the time (I-¦m human after all) but what I have found that works wonders is replaying the scenario over and over and instead of focusing on the other person I focus on myself and myself alone. What I said, the way I said it and how I reacted. Most of the time I end up knowing deep within that I was at fault too and sometimes to my horror and shock I was totally at fault once the heat of the moment dies down, and as I grow older I avoid more and more the situations where others are totally at fault, you end up knowing how to "judge character", its a perk of growing old. Resentments lie still in my mind, but I am better able to grasp with them and question my motives after a lot of soul-searching for inciting or having been part of a conflict. I also live under the adage of "No pedirle Peras al Olmo" or not asking for a seed tree to give you sweet fruit (more or less). When you begin to understand people-¦s limits on the things they can give you you can actually know the things you want out of people and begin to discriminate them in more proper niches of thinking and thus socialization. I still remember my father once explaining to my mother something that made me begin thinking like that. Once, many moons ago, my mother had a maid, this maid was from a very poor socio-economical strata, had ways of thinking that were very concrete and was for lack of better terms a "simple" person. One day my mother told her to wash everything in bleach, that she only trusted bleach to clean anything , specially dishware, clothes etc. Now this was part in jest of my mother , but the maid took it literally and an hour later she came screaming to my mother showing her chemically burned hands and asking my mother what to do , since she was in pain. That night my mother was angry at this person screaming furiously how someone could do such a thing? Can-¦t she see it was harmful? Then my father calmly told her , in a very condensed form , how some people simply can-¦t act beyond their limitations, else this maid would be something else than a maid, or at least , a much better maid with a better sense of self-preservation. This led me to believe in many things, and to understand that no matter what , people are prisoner of themselves, of their limitations, regardless of social status, wealth, degrees or pedigree. Such slavery to your own preconceptions, ways of thinking and environment truths was for me, abhorrent. The Whole Universe of humanity now lurked back at me with its hands burned, blaming anyone but themselves. Akin to my fear and existential angst of people that could calmly stay in the place of their birth and never moving more than a couple miles off it to die during their whole lives. I respect their choices, but sometimes I wonder if given the choice they would live their lives differently, if they could see more, know more, I know I would. One lifetime is not enough to do anything, anything at all. So it is with peoples minds. We all are slaves to ourselves, and knowing this, you need to know how some people WILL NEVER EVER give you anything of what you want out of them. Saving them, helping them is optional, understanding them is not in my book. With this in mind I became less quarrelsome, I hate diving into someone else-¦s delusion of life only to reinforce their inner status quo, total waste of time, I have my own delusion of life to maintain and not interested in other-¦s. I lapse, I am human, I err, but afterwards I go back to this very principle. Everyone is burned by their own bleach. I have no need to burn them or be burned by them. People hardly will give you even the most remote acknowledgment in any kind of social interaction, thus I treasure greatly the few people I know can give me WHAT I WANT from them: honesty and the COLD HARD TRUTH, and you as a human being know this already. You know the few people that give you this mutual acknowledgment, those are the only people worth sharing with, knowing fully well they might burn you back, but you know it and accept it. This is my thinking. It will not help others, it will not clear this eternal debate, but it works for me. To forgive people, know who they are, and knowing them is your first and last duty to others. From that point on, it-¦s up to you to share their burns. And we go back to the beginning, how to let them burn you and not blame them? In short I think we expect too much out of people, and even worst, we expect more out of friends and family, perhaps not expecting much from them would be a start? Also remember that a lot of people function by the universal principle of what they are doing it-¦s not wrong, you way otherwise is. An alarming trend I assure you, but one you have to keep in mind when dealing with others. I suffer daily , specially with older people, this. Thus I believe the root of the problem in this quandary is this: WHY YOU WANT FORGIVENESS? Do you ... NEED it? You WANT others to give it to you? or you WANT to give it to others and LET THEM KNOW about it? Fact is, my prior statement does not involve forgiveness, in a traditional sense, but acceptance of the inherent flaws in humanity, myself included, forgiveness in a traditional sense is not implied nor required in my statement. Perhaps forgiveness is a completely wrong concept? Acceptance perhaps? Understanding? I believe we don-¦t need forgiveness at all. The whole concept is loaded with unnecessary luggage. Inner Sayings of BrujoLoco: http://eve-files.com/sig/brujoloco
Little Dragon Khamez Guardians of the Underworld White Mountain Coalition 1455	Posted - 2014.06.10 22:53:00 - [44] - Quote You should always forgive your enemies, they really hate that. Dumbing down of Eve Online will result in it's destruction...
Dorian Tormak Brutor Tribe Minmatar Republic 231	Posted - 2014.06.11 18:57:00 - [45] - Quote Reaver Glitterstim wrote: There's a saying I heard somewhere: Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting somebody else to die. The same quote is in step 1 of the OP lol. Well, a "similar" quote I am FAKE. And I lack charisma. Can you feel my complete and utter superiority?
Dorian Tormak Brutor Tribe Minmatar Republic 231	Posted - 2014.06.11 19:18:00 - [46] - Quote Brujo Loco wrote: Then my father calmly told her , in a very condensed form , how some people simply can-¦t act beyond their limitations, else this maid would be something else than a maid, or at least , a much better maid with a better sense of self-preservation. This led me to believe in many things, and to understand that no matter what , people are prisoner of themselves, of their limitations, regardless of social status, wealth, degrees or pedigree. Such slavery to your own preconceptions, ways of thinking and environment truths was for me, abhorrent. The Whole Universe of humanity now lurked back at me with its hands burned, blaming anyone but themselves. Thank you for articulating these thoughts so well. Such truth. Just goes to show you gotta respect the game, no matter who you think you are. I am FAKE. And I lack charisma. Can you feel my complete and utter superiority?
Reaver Glitterstim The Scope Gallente Federation 1520	Posted - 2014.06.11 20:00:00 - [47] - Quote Dorian Tormak wrote: Reaver Glitterstim wrote: There's a saying I heard somewhere: Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting somebody else to die. The same quote is in step 1 of the OP lol. Well, a "similar" quote "'Hating someone is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it.'" Well whaddya know, that must be where I got it from. Fit a warfare link to your tech 1 battlecruiser. Train Wing Commander. Get in the Squad Commander or Wing Commander position. Your fleets will be superior to everyone else's. (had this sig BEFORE Odyssey BC rebalance) "What if [climate change is] a big hoax and we create a better world for nothing?" -comic on Greenmonk
Rain6637 Team Evil 14864	Posted - 2014.06.11 20:08:00 - [48] - Quote Forgiving means pretending it didn't happen, for your sake. Still, plan a satisfying response for next time. President of the Commissar Kate Fanclub \| Rainfleet on Twitch \| Twitter \| Rainfleet mk.III \| Imgur

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