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Maximillian Bonaparte
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
0
   |
Posted - 2011.11.17 16:32:00 -
[1] - Quote
Eon's ago, on Old Earth I was selected as one of the first test subjects for neural flash quantum cloning, and my neural net was implemented into an advanced deep space exploration probe, I was to be the controlling AI for the system. The experiment failed for reasons unknown, and I have been floating dormant in space ever since.
By a shear stroke of luck, my probe has recently been found floating in the darkness of interstellar space in the Gallente Federation. A clone body has been constructed and my neural net safely digitally stored thanks to the advanced technology of the day.
I find myself awakened as a capsuleer in a strange universe with great depth and potential. On earth, thousands of years ago, I was considered a kind of 'visionary prodigy', with the power to inspire millions towards the goals of the greater good.
Before I begin my own rise to power, I must first know who the major players are.
Tell me, comrades....
On Corporations and Alliances - which ones are the largest? Which are the most dominant, feared, or benevolent, and where do they operate? Is there a particular group that is hated above others? If so, why?
The same questions apply to individuals. Which leaders yield the most power, influence, or garner the most contempt?
I 'humbly' look forward to learning who is who and what is what, quicker than most, naturally. :)
Thank you. |
Kalaratiri
Teraa Matar
35
|
Posted - 2011.11.17 21:12:00 -
[2] - Quote
You might want to find a therapist before a corp. After all those things happened to you, surely you must be a little traumatized? |
Jodis Talvanen
State War Academy
Caldari State
124
|
Posted - 2011.11.17 23:53:00 -
[3] - Quote
Hey hey hey!
Hey, Maximillian, I am from Earth too, I am a Terran, I am going to destroy New Eden! Now, join me, my friend, we shall burn this place down with our mighty Earth Cannon! We will rule them together! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Argh-
Noise of someone being pushed down by a group of people
Noooo no no no! Let me go! Arrghhh! Go away! I'm from Earth! I'm your god! Argh...
Loud noises of the things being knocked down
"... Who let this girl out! ..."
The transmission ended abruptly. |
Zelda Wei
New Horizon Trade Exchange
12
|
Posted - 2011.11.18 01:06:00 -
[4] - Quote
This must be the Trailer for terrible Gallente Holoreel. You need to rethink your marketing strategy. |
Jason Galente
mishima ryu
91
|
Posted - 2011.11.18 01:26:00 -
[5] - Quote
I'm not quite sure how to respond to this, so I'll just say the first thing that came to mind..
No. |
Astrid Stjerna
Teraa Matar
79
|
Posted - 2011.11.18 01:47:00 -
[6] - Quote
Old Earth? Surely, you don't believe those old legends.... |
Maximillian Bonaparte
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
0
|
Posted - 2011.11.18 02:50:00 -
[7] - Quote
I would not joke to such esteemed individuals as yourselves.
I did not ask to be genetically engineered for superior intellect, paraded as the infamous lab-rat for all humanity to see, my neural patterns sped up to 1000% of normal human thought, and then my consciousness cloned, stuffed into a probe headed for a wormhole to some unknown star cluster....but it has happened.
You do not have to believe me, you can believe in God, gods, angels, UFO's, or nothing at all....but human nature remains the same I see.
It makes no difference, the more things change, the more they stay the same.
Oh there have been advances in interstellar and interplanetary flight, weapons of war, technology, but how little man himself has changed.
Yes it seems I will do well in your little star cluster, my comrades...I do humbly declare the games afoot. |
Anabella Rella
Gradient
Electus Matari
39
|
Posted - 2011.11.18 08:18:00 -
[8] - Quote
Well, this is a new twist on the old "take me to your leader" gag...
What you want is irrelevant, what you've chosen is at hand. |
Katrina Oniseki
Revenent Defence Corperation
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
175
|
Posted - 2011.11.18 08:40:00 -
[9] - Quote
Maximillian Bonaparte wrote:
Yes it seems I will do well in your little star cluster, my comrades...I do humbly declare the games afoot.
That's really all you needed to say.
See you in space, new guy.
|
N'maro Makari
15
|
Posted - 2011.11.18 12:45:00 -
[10] - Quote
You are a fraud and an idiot. I regret wasting time reading that verbal vomit and loathe the fact that I feel compelled to type a response.
N'maro Makari |
Jowen Datloran
Science and Trade Institute
Caldari State
115
|
Posted - 2011.11.18 13:06:00 -
[11] - Quote
Zelda Wei wrote:
This must be the Trailer for terrible Gallente Holoreel. You need to rethink your marketing strategy.
I have seen the prequel for this movie. It was not bad at allGǪ Or maybe to be more correct; I have seen worse.
Mr. Science & Trade Institute, EVE Online Lorebook-á |
Ran'shad
Imperial Manufacturing and Engineering Regiment
8
|
Posted - 2011.11.18 13:18:00 -
[12] - Quote
Astrid Stjerna wrote:Old Earth? Surely, you don't believe those old legends....
It seems as though someone plugged a childrens storyreel in instead of his regular skill training....next he'll be telling us that we're all some figment of imagination inside of a magical box on a desk somewhere..... |
Killer Gandry
Shadow of the Pain
14
|
Posted - 2011.11.18 13:30:00 -
[13] - Quote
Drugs are bad, m'kay.
Unless you know which to take and which to avoid.
|
Steve Ronuken
Fuzzwork Enterprises
57
|
Posted - 2011.11.18 13:43:00 -
[14] - Quote
Ahh. The Myth of the Greater Good.
How often do you hear of that, when what the person actually means is 'Everyone should do what I say they should'.
|
Sakuma Ogunuchi
Tirokkunone
0
|
Posted - 2011.11.18 15:35:00 -
[15] - Quote
I would suggest finding a Goonswarm Federation recruiter. They are the most powerful Capsuleer empire. Once you do something to prove you are trustworthy I'm you'd certain go far in their ranks. |
Akrasjel Lanate
Naquatech Conglomerate
192
|
Posted - 2011.11.19 09:48:00 -
[16] - Quote
Sakuma Ogunuchi wrote:I would suggest finding a Goonswarm Federation recruiter. They are the most powerful Capsuleer empire. Once you do something to prove you are trustworthy I'm certain you'd go far in their ranks.
I just spit my tea over the desk... |
Andreus Ixiris
Mixed Metaphor
267
|
Posted - 2011.11.19 09:57:00 -
[17] - Quote
What is this fourth wall thing I keep hearing about? Most rooms have four walls, at least if they're square, right? I mean, how do you even decide which wall is the fourth anyway? What's the significance of it?
Andreus Anthony LeHane Ixiris
CEO, Mixed Metaphor
Animated Corporate Logos |
Leopold Caine
Stillwater Corporation
15
|
Posted - 2011.11.19 11:11:00 -
[18] - Quote
Maximillian Bonaparte wrote:
I did not ask to be genetically engineered for superior intellect, paraded as the infamous lab-rat for all humanity to see, my neural patterns sped up to 1000% of normal human thought, and then my consciousness cloned, stuffed into a probe headed for a wormhole to some unknown star cluster....but it has happened.
Boohoo. Are we supposed to act with some sort of pity regarding this? I am hardly moved by your plight.
Quote:
You do not have to believe me, you can believe in God, gods, angels, UFO's, or nothing at all....but human nature remains the same I see.
I think the legends of Old Earth are somewhat higher on the list of 'fairytales' than anything you have mentioned there.
Oh, I'd be particularly careful about Angels. Make a wrong turn somewhere along the lane and you'll find them very real.
To summarize, a regular case of capsuleer dementia or gallente holo-flick propaganda? I'm not sure or particularly bothered myself, but I suppose time will tell.
.domination sentinel
.stillwater |
Kithrus
Defensores Fidei
Curatores Veritatis Alliance
82
|
Posted - 2011.11.19 12:57:00 -
[19] - Quote
Astrid Stjerna wrote:Old Earth? Surely, you don't believe those old legends....
I was just about to say the same thing. |
Astrid Stjerna
Teraa Matar
85
|
Posted - 2011.11.19 17:21:00 -
[20] - Quote
Andreus Ixiris wrote:What is this fourth wall thing I keep hearing about? Most rooms have four walls, at least if they're square, right? I mean, how do you even decide which wall is the fourth anyway? What's the significance of it?
I encountered a troupe of traveling entertainers recently, and they told me that the 'fourth wall' isn't a literal wall. It's a metaphor for an invisible 'wall' between a performer and his audience. |
Maximillian Bonaparte
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
0
|
Posted - 2011.11.19 18:28:00 -
[21] - Quote
The Sol sytem is indeed very far away in terms of normal distance as you know it, but it exists in a pocket of time and space that is inconsistantly in contact with our own pocket of time and space. In my time we understood dark matter more than you do now, as the very membrane of time/space bubbles that exert pressure upon each other.
Alas I have very little physical evidence of my Terran origins, and I applaud your septicism - this means you can BE TAUGHT!
You people are far too bright to be duped by all the frauds and messiahs of the day (with a possible exception of the 'faithful' in the Amarr Empire). On this I would prefer those of you who would listen, to have a healthy skepticism and an agnostic if not atheist attitude to your views of the universe.
That being said - the Terrans once ruled over all of new Eden following my failed mission. you can see evidence of this from the legends of our ancient peoples in the form of artifacts scattered across New Eden.
This Caldari artifact was found from the ancient Sumreen civilization in the dark ages, perhaps AD 16000 to 16200
This Artifact
As you can see, it depicts someone in a spacecraft before any known flying contraptions were known to exist - they refer to the pilot as a God called a Terranaki. There are many more artifacts like this one from that era.
And, I do know that I strike a chord in some of you because - I am certainly not the only Terran intelligence that was sent out through wormholes - do not presume the one leading to EveGate was the only one.
But some of you may have forgotten your Terran origins, or been indoctrinated to reject your true self. I can help you reclaim this...
For those of you who are overly upset - I understand. You would rather deny that you have been brainwashed and indoctrinated all your life rather than embrace the true fathers of all the New Eden peoples.
By the way - if anyone would like to support the guidance I offer you, or would care to hear the true history of the New Eden peoples, than feel free to seek me out in Gallente Space (Verge Vendor area) and make a minimum donation of 100,000 ISK.
Of course the donation is optional.
I am currently working on a quick reference guide to Earth called simply 'The Pale Blue Book". It will be avaialble in paper back following the holidays for the low price of 2.5 million ISK. Free copies available at the book signing and lecture scheduled at the New Eden system in Spring, next year. |
N'maro Makari
15
|
Posted - 2011.11.19 19:19:00 -
[22] - Quote
Frentix... hellevadrug.
(( For the love of God shut up ))
N'maro Makari |
Jason Galente
mishima ryu
92
|
Posted - 2011.11.19 20:56:00 -
[23] - Quote
Now, this is a new scam..
Kudos for the creativity, although you definitely could've played it a little longer  |
Mikkel Lybecker
Gradient
Electus Matari
1
|
Posted - 2011.11.19 22:25:00 -
[24] - Quote
Maximillian Bonaparte wrote:On earth, thousands of years ago, I was considered a kind of 'visionary prodigy', with the power to inspire millions towards the goals of the greater good.
At the moment your power seems to be inspiring millions to the goal of greater ridicule.
To answer your question, I've heard that the Center For Advanced Studies is pretty feared. Apparently they've been churning out some real wackjobs lately. |
Leopold Caine
Stillwater Corporation
15
|
Posted - 2011.11.19 23:51:00 -
[25] - Quote
Ok, I thought you were just teasing us there... now it's starting to show symptoms of severe dementia.
On a separate note, I have this Thukker friend of mine running a small entertainment troupe with his caravan... jesters are always welcome, as I hear.
.domination sentinel
.stillwater |
Andreus Ixiris
Mixed Metaphor
269
|
Posted - 2011.11.20 08:17:00 -
[26] - Quote
Astrid Stjerna wrote:I encountered a troupe of traveling entertainers recently, and they told me that the 'fourth wall' isn't a literal wall. It's a metaphor for an invisible 'wall' between a performer and his audience.
Listen, this is going to sound utterly insane, but was one of them a robed and hooded man with the face of a cat who called himself M'aiq?
Andreus Anthony LeHane Ixiris
CEO, Mixed Metaphor
Animated Corporate Logos |
Jacada Ansari
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
22
|
Posted - 2011.11.22 22:12:00 -
[27] - Quote
I am a beautiful bumble bee, flying around the garden of new eden collecting nectar for my hive. I like being a bumble bee. |
Maximillian Bonaparte
The Scope
Gallente Federation
1
|
Posted - 2011.11.23 21:08:00 -
[28] - Quote
Jacada Ansari wrote:I am a beautiful bumble bee, flying around the garden of new eden collecting nectar for my hive. I like being a bumble bee.
This is clearly a 'front'...
From my research and growing network of informants I have come to know the monstrosity that is Goonswarm.
Day before yesterday I was invited aboard a star liner where a certain corporation had several kiosks representing all of their various divisions, and I must say a generous selection of coffee, biscuits, and pastries.
After I had gorged myself I began shooting off my mouth about how the kind of work they offered is not a worthy challenge for a promising newcomer of superior heritage. However, if they were into extortion, pirating, theft, and the trade of exotic dancers then I might be more inclined to work with them. The conversation ended shortly thereafter - officially.
As I walked through the docking bay to board my ship and leave I was approached by one of their members who declared that he was working under an alias, and that they did indeed have both an extortion ring, and a high-sec strong-arm division. And he told me to come and find the office nearby - under the name of a mining corporation that avidly recruited new miners....MINERS!!
When I arrived, I was introduced to an unsavory looking lot of slightly older, slightly soft-in-body, men with malicious grins and twinkles in their eyes.
I immediately addressed the gorilla in the room - and pointed out that they obviously recruit miners into their front company with the purpose of extortion, and that since I seemed to be an intelligent and charming conversationalist, that they could use someone with my skills to get 'new recruits'.
They assured me that although they do drain the new miner's account of ISK - they try to leave the victim with a 'warm feeling', and teach them various things to help them be better business people in a cut-throat universe.
"I see, so you **** them gently..." I said. They confirmed this and that they often get repeat customers. And then I was told, that they learned these tricks from members of Goonswarm - unofficially, although they were not directly affiliated with Gooneswarm.
I am not going to say who this corporation is - mainly because they may have their uses later on and I wish to keep an open channel, but I will say that simply buttering up people so that they can be conned in this manner yields no glory, honor, or respect, only ISK, which is why they are fat old men.
So it would seem that Goonswarm spreads their methods across all of new eden with long reaching insectile fingers. From my historical studies of Band of Brothers (Goonswarm's predecessor), they had a slightly different outlook - a beat down the door method of domination. Whereas Goonswarm has no shame in more subtle, insidious methods of gaining domination, such as the implants uncovered by one freedom fighter known as Boadiccea Iceni.
Thus I have quickly learned who the most powerful is, at least on the surface.
However, there exists an extremely honorable and POWERFUL band of pirates, feared by many, and yet who's motley captains (who are half-drunk most of the time on Edenian Star Rum) inspire me to no end - this organization's name starts with a 'T' . Need I say more?
|
Astrid Stjerna
Teraa Matar
94
|
Posted - 2011.11.23 23:28:00 -
[29] - Quote
Maximillian Bonaparte wrote:
After I had gorged myself I began shooting off my mouth about how the kind of work they offered is not a worthy challenge for a promising newcomer of superior heritage.
Your 'superior heritage' is a commonplace occurance these days; we're all clones, and there's nothing special about genetic resequencing anymore.
Besides which, the Jovians are out there, too, and despite their 'Jovian Disease' they're still centuries ahead of us in terms of biomods and genetic manipulation. |
Tarryn Nightstorm
Hellstar Towing and Recovery
43
|
Posted - 2011.11.23 23:39:00 -
[30] - Quote
Some of the boosters the OP's on:
I can haz? |
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