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Muck Raker
Gutter Press
54
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Posted - 2011.11.26 09:39:00 -
[1] - Quote
Incredible news reached Gutter Press about a sensational kidnapping plot involving a top Ushra'Khan pilot!
The U'K pilot was abducted and experimented upon by a Blood Raider fanatic cultist!
Sensational!
In his own words, the Ushra'Khan council member, known as "Kazzzi" to his comrades-in-arms against the Caldari State and the Amarr Empire, said this:
"I, an officer of the Ushra'Khan, was indeed kidnapped by the Synthetic Cultist known as Synthia in Algogille's Fed Navy station where I was drugged, restrained and experimented upon."
Shocking!
Particularly when it happens on Federal Navy property! Has the Caldari Menace become so great that the Navy is stretched so thin that these sorts of things are possible? It Looks That Way!
A-mazing!
Reactions from other pilots were a mix of shock and confusion:
"They didn't experiment on him all that much then, I guess." said one.
"That would almost make me think they "threw him back," as it were" said another.
"Perhaps he was an unfit specimen?" thought a third pilot.
"it's Kazzzi, so he's probably enjoying himself anyway. He's kinda odd in the head, that one." was a fourth opinion.
People were dismissive of the notion that perhaps this was a Blood Raider plot to subvert Ushra'Khan, although the possibility was raised that perhaps these two enemies of the Empire are working together!
In-credible!
An amazing theory was put forth by a Nation pilot that there is possibly even more to this story:
"I have tried to warn Synthia about Kazzzi. He is a scoundrel. Although maybe I should have been warning Kazzzi about Synthia! I really think its probably Kazzzi who did the kidnapping, if it wasn't a mutual quest to learn about love. Synthia, because she's a robot, and Kazzzi because years of drug abuse and hard living have made him forget how."
Sen-sational!
Kazzzi did also wish to set the record straight on a few matters, namely that:
"I did enjoy it."
A-mazing!
Members of Ushra'Khan were unavailable for comment at the time of writing.
Rumours, Wars, Rumours of Wars, Wars of Rumours! |
Katrina Oniseki
Revenent Defence Corperation
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
178
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Posted - 2011.11.26 15:11:00 -
[2] - Quote
I'm really starting to like this news network. |
Khazarn Areth
The Black Pigs
The Black Pigs Alliance
27
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Posted - 2011.11.26 16:18:00 -
[3] - Quote
Interesting, i do hope this Kazzzi found the experience eye opening.
Bloody Omir's coming back
Monsters from the endless black
Wading through a crimson flood
Omir's come to drink your blood |
Thgil Goldcore
PIE Inc.
139
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Posted - 2011.11.26 17:31:00 -
[4] - Quote
So, if I am hearing this right...
Kazzzi willingly let himself get caught by blood raiders so they could experiment on him. Most of me thinks this is BS, but then again...
|
Rodj Blake
PIE Inc.
411
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Posted - 2011.11.26 17:35:00 -
[5] - Quote
Muck Raker wrote:
In-credible!
Incredible:
1.
so extraordinary as to seem impossible: incredible speed.
2.
not credible; hard to believe; unbelievable: The plot of the holobook is incredible.
Sounds about right.
Dulce et decorum est pro imperium mori. |
Emrys Ap'Morgravaine
Minmatar Ship Construction Services
Ushra'Khan
2
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Posted - 2011.11.26 18:15:00 -
[6] - Quote
Having only just had this brought to my attention, I have immediately placed Kazzzi on administrative leave and suspended all internal communication rights pending a full investigation of any possible impropriety on his behalf.
At this point, our thoughts are with his family and corporation and we hope to be able to reveal the truth soon.
Regards
Emrys Ap'Morgravaine
Diplomatic Admin
Ushra'Khan |
Silas Vitalia
Khanid Provincial Vanguard
16
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Posted - 2011.11.26 19:47:00 -
[7] - Quote
I doubt the Covenant would waste their time with a U'K pilot. If they did kidnap him, I also doubt he would be returned so easily.
|
Myxx
Atropos Group
151
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Posted - 2011.11.26 22:44:00 -
[8] - Quote
I hope they bleed Kazzzi dry and toss his corpse out of an airlock. |
Jason Galente
mishima ryu
94
|
Posted - 2011.11.27 00:58:00 -
[9] - Quote
Wow. |
Daniel L'Siata
Echelon Conflict Resolution.
Dragoons.
29
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Posted - 2011.11.27 07:33:00 -
[10] - Quote
Wait...what? |
Graelyn
Wolfsbrigade
81
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Posted - 2011.11.27 09:01:00 -
[11] - Quote
Were they trying to repair his broken mind somehow?
+ Cardinal Graelyn +
Owner/Operator, "The Summit"
|
SpotlessBlade
Sarz'na Khumatari
Ushra'Khan
0
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Posted - 2011.11.27 11:34:00 -
[12] - Quote
My thoughts and prayers go to the family and friends of...Synthia.... |
Khazarn Areth
The Black Pigs
The Black Pigs Alliance
29
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Posted - 2011.11.27 12:11:00 -
[13] - Quote
Could you in any way confirm that fellow Cabal members were involved?
Bloody Omir's coming back
Monsters from the endless black
Wading through a crimson flood
Omir's come to drink your blood |
Ethidium Bromide
ZEALOT WARRIORS AGAINST TERRORISTS
6
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Posted - 2011.11.30 11:43:00 -
[14] - Quote
oh i remember a certain blood raider fanatic i would let experiment on me gladly....
but that's another story.
sad day i miss the torturing of a terrorist! i hope the blood raiders will release footage! |
Aracturus
Wildly Inappropriate
Goonswarm Federation
46
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Posted - 2011.11.30 14:16:00 -
[15] - Quote
In the words of a certain blood raider pilot: "Yaay."
In that "yay Kazzi found someone to fulfill his sick fantasy".
Cynthia, I'm sorry you had to endure this. An innocent robot as yourself didn't deserve this.
Oh right. Insert shameless self-promotion here. |
Astrid Stjerna
Teraa Matar
109
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Posted - 2011.11.30 16:17:00 -
[16] - Quote
Rodj Blake wrote:Muck Raker wrote:
In-credible!
Incredible:
1. so extraordinary as to seem impossible
2. not credible; hard to believe; unbelievable
Sounds about right.
What do you expect from a newsfeed like Gutter Press?
If nothing else, they're entertaining. |
Aracturus
Wildly Inappropriate
Goonswarm Federation
46
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Posted - 2011.11.30 16:41:00 -
[17] - Quote
I'm surprised Muck hasn't covered the Amarrian pornography scandal yet. Hint. Hint. |
Andreus Ixiris
Mixed Metaphor
311
|
Posted - 2011.11.30 17:24:00 -
[18] - Quote
Aracturus wrote:I'm surprised Muck hasn't covered the Amarrian pornography scandal yet. Hint. Hint.
To be honest I think some stories are just too damn obvious, even for Gutter Press.
Andreus Anthony LeHane Ixiris
CEO, Mixed Metaphor
Animated Corporate Logos |
Aiwha
101st Space Marine Force
Nulli Secunda
17
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Posted - 2011.11.30 19:40:00 -
[19] - Quote
Aracturus wrote:I'm surprised Muck hasn't covered the Amarrian pornography scandal yet. Hint. Hint.
Considering what your alliance communications channels resemble on any given day, I don't think you can comment on that.
Regards,
Sgt. Aiwha |
Kazzzi
Minmatar Ship Construction Services
Ushra'Khan
38
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Posted - 2011.12.06 20:17:00 -
[20] - Quote
I will not deny any of the allegations. In fact, for a time I pursued a relationship with Synthia. Due to the perception that my judgement may be compromised, I have been reassigned to a construction and maintenance division until I can be trusted with live ammunition again. Despite this I have no regrets, except for my fear of commitment. |
Louis deGuerre
The Dark Tribe
Against ALL Authorities
82
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Posted - 2011.12.07 12:43:00 -
[21] - Quote
In-concievable ! 
FIRE FRIENDSHIP TORPEDOES ! |
Aiwha
101st Space Marine Force
Nulli Secunda
24
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Posted - 2011.12.07 16:13:00 -
[22] - Quote
Kazzzi wrote:I will not deny any of the allegations. In fact, for a time I pursued a relationship with Synthia. Due to the perception that my judgement may be compromised, I have been reassigned to a construction and maintenance division until I can be trusted with live ammunition again. Despite this I have no regrets, except my fear of commitment.
Awww...
Regards,
Sgt. Aiwha |
Synthetic Cultist
Church of The Crimson Saviour
0
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Posted - 2011.12.07 17:49:00 -
[23] - Quote
Kazzzi wrote:I will not deny any of the allegations. In fact, for a time I pursued a relationship with Synthia. Due to the perception that my judgement may be compromised, I have been reassigned to a construction and maintenance division until I can be trusted with live ammunition again. Despite this I have no regrets, except my fear of commitment.
 |
Evanga
Trust Doesn't Rust
Ineluctable.
1
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Posted - 2011.12.09 08:39:00 -
[24] - Quote
Kazzzi i will come for your rescue, i will never believe the crap they are spitting out in here...its just NOT TRUE!!!
Let's meet around the dark alley tomorrow evening 20:00 hours, i will pick you up in my rifter with the blinded windows...its all safe to get in. [SECURE]
hold on baby  |
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