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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 1 post(s) |
Pi Muka
Imperial Academy Amarr Empire
1
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Posted - 2011.11.30 08:06:00 -
[1] - Quote
My husband has played this video game since at least 2004.
It has been one of his biggest hobbies and has always been greatly important to him.
A couple of years ago, my husband suffered a physical injury which required medication for pain management. Earlier this year that medication became a problem for him as he slowly developed a very severe problem and addiction which nearly cost him his family and I believe his life.
In october we did an intervention with the entire family to help him, and that day he agreed to go into rehabilitation therapy for a month. The rehab went well and he was released 2 days ago (Nov. 28). He returned home in great spirits, he spent the day with his family which consists of myself and his 5 month old son.
That same evening he went downstairs to play this game and see people he believed were his good friends. He was very excited. About 45 minutes later he came back upstairs extreamly upset and distressed. I asked him what was wrong and he refused to tell me until I pushed him as he was acting incredibley volatile and nearly emotional.
He told me he was betrayed by people he considered good friends. Apparently while my husband was in rehab fighting to save his life and his family the people who he believed were his friends kicked him out of the 'company' he was a member of and took everything he owned in game. He said they betrayed him and tried to ransom him for the few remaining things he had stuck in there space.
He said thier reason was because he lost a fight or something and it damaged some statistics for the company. Apparently none of these so called friends would show even a slight kindness to my husband. They took everything he had in game and ridiculed him.
After we spoke he said he was going to 7-eleven for some cigarettes. He did not come home, I was contacted 7 hours later the next morning by medical staff at a nearby hospital. My husband had suffered an overdose.
He is alive thank god, and I am not assigning blame to anyone. But these 'friends' of his were entirely aware of his struggle and I know for a fact had they not been so cruel to him this would not have happened.
My point is, while being cruel can sometimes be fun for those who are not on the recieving end, consider the potential harm you may be causing.
I wish I knew who these people were, my husband refuses to tell me anything because he knows I would come on here and call them out. But If you are one of those people, know that you are cold and have a mean spirit! |
XIRUSPHERE
In Bacon We Trust
113
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Posted - 2011.11.30 08:14:00 -
[2] - Quote
Don't ever expect altruism on the internet, expecting the greater good in a place like eve is an even greater folly.
If someone is suffering an addiction an MMO is really not the place to spend their time either as they are in their nature inherently an addictive activity.
If this is real and not a troll then perhaps it's time he learn to face his problems rather than using avenues of escape, quite a few mean and cruel spirits exist here, it's not a place to hide from real problems. The advantage of a bad memory is that one can enjoy the same good things for the first time several times.
One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear. |
Pesky LaRue
Mercatoris Etherium Cartel
76
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Posted - 2011.11.30 08:15:00 -
[3] - Quote
Assuming this is a legitimate post (and not the standard trolling we see on a daily basis) then it's going to be arguably too difficult for you to understand, but that's the kind of game EvE is. Saying that doesn't justify what happened, but you're unlikely to get any kind of 'justice' or call anyone out on these forums.
Again, if you're legit, sorry for your stress. Prepare to be trolled and ridiculed by the masses. |
Silence iKillYouu
The Innocent Criminals
67
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Posted - 2011.11.30 08:15:00 -
[4] - Quote
I feel really sorry for you're husband. I was ripped of by my "friend" when i started this game and he took everything i had saved up in the first 6 months of playing.
I've found a great honest trustworthy group of players now and we all share stuff we also yell at each other alot.
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Vachir Khan
TriSeq Defence Group
72
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Posted - 2011.11.30 08:17:00 -
[5] - Quote
It's a game, if someone perceives it to be more than just a game then that person needs his priorities checked. There are ofcourse things like friendships and all that but in the end it's still just a game about space pixels. Excellence is not a skill, it's an attitude.
If MMORPG players were around when God said, "Let there be light" they'd have called the light gay and plunged the universe back into darkness by squatting their nutsacks over it. |
Jita Alt666
596
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Posted - 2011.11.30 08:18:00 -
[6] - Quote
Part of me wants to offer real life condolences. Part of me wants to dismiss this due to where it has been posted and the underlying knowledge of the Eve community the poster is aware of. Part of me is smiling at a very clever troll. Part of me wants to put out that MMORPGs by their nature are addictive. |
Pi Muka
Imperial Academy Amarr Empire
1
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Posted - 2011.11.30 08:19:00 -
[7] - Quote
i don't know what troll is
had to have my nephew who also plays this video show me how to talk on here so please forgive my ignorance. I do not know who was responsible for what happened so I have nobody in specific to blame, but I felt it is within my rights to express my extreme displeasure with what occured. |
Po3tank
Basgerin Pirate
4
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Posted - 2011.11.30 08:21:00 -
[8] - Quote
2/10 however just so I don't seem to heartless
hope your husband gets better!
Please don't get mad at the game or the players that "hurt" your husband, if he had exercised a little self control this could of all been avoided I'm sure. Video games are serious business an all but screwing over your family not worth the ISk
edit: its a troll |
Pesky LaRue
Mercatoris Etherium Cartel
76
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Posted - 2011.11.30 08:22:00 -
[9] - Quote
troll (not saying you are, just providing a definition).
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Botleten
GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
211
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Posted - 2011.11.30 08:24:00 -
[10] - Quote
Its a ******* game, if your husband took it that seriously he probably shouldn't be playing a game that allows for, if not encourages, the more nefarious aspects of human nature. There are other games out there that wont hurt his feelings where people can't scam him. If you're so sensitive that you cant deal with these sorts of things, then don't play eve. Its that simple. |
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JeanMichel Bizarre
Dreddit Test Alliance Please Ignore
1
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Posted - 2011.11.30 08:25:00 -
[11] - Quote
While I do sympathize if this is for real, I wouldn't say what happened in game is cruel... It may not be :nice: but EVE is not supposed to be. |
Xeneta
Center for Advanced Studies Gallente Federation
3
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Posted - 2011.11.30 08:25:00 -
[12] - Quote
Can I have his stuff? Oh wait... |
Nova Fox
Novafox Shipyards
427
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Posted - 2011.11.30 08:26:00 -
[13] - Quote
Trolls are people who create statemetns to inact or rouse a response of entertianment usually that of anger.
Now your husband does need to know that this is a game. There are rules in every game its just that its very unfourtunate that this game plays very much to the tune of human nature. Overall its self intrest verses everyone else and majority of the players in eve will pick themselves because there is a good chance the other person isnt going to be worth the trouble they can cause. This is when the worst of human nature in all of its aspects rear its ugly head and its mostly allowed here unlike alot of other games.
Simply put he can try to make new friends but he should expect it to happen again and have a better plan at getting back at them or having better insurance polocies.
I have seen husband and wife teams in eve fall apart over ingame things as well.
Also I wouldnt blame this game, I have seen people commit suicide over fantasy football.
Just support your husband as you are doing now, no need to play this game to support such just need to drive home the fact that this is a game and if nessecary intervene his game find him a healthier hobby for him to take up on.
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Khamelea
University of Caille Gallente Federation
3
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Posted - 2011.11.30 08:50:00 -
[14] - Quote
While I sympathize with the situation, eve is a game, it's interactions are governed by the rules of the game. You cannot simply map real life understanding of right and wrong in to this kind of simulated environment.
If your husband had to gone to a poker game with his friends and lost, would you begrudge the other players for playing fairly and by the rules? Of course no! poker is a harsh and unforgiving game, if your not prepared to loose then you shouldn't play.
Even if these players were inclined to sympathize with your husbands situation, there was no way for them to know he was telling the truth about it, he could of been praying on their sympathies for his own benefit.
These players that you are so upset with have done nothing wrong. |
Jaroslav Unwanted
Brutor Tribe Minmatar Republic
84
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Posted - 2011.11.30 09:00:00 -
[15] - Quote
Nova Fox wrote:Trolls are people who create statemetns to inact or rouse a response of entertianment usually that of anger.
Now your husband does need to know that this is a game. There are rules in every game its just that its very unfourtunate that this game plays very much to the tune of human nature. Overall its self intrest verses everyone else and majority of the players in eve will pick themselves because there is a good chance the other person isnt going to be worth the trouble they can cause. This is when the worst of human nature in all of its aspects rear its ugly head and its mostly allowed here unlike alot of other games.
Simply put he can try to make new friends but he should expect it to happen again and have a better plan at getting back at them or having better insurance polocies.
I have seen husband and wife teams in eve fall apart over ingame things as well.
Also I wouldnt blame this game, I have seen people commit suicide over fantasy football.
Just support your husband as you are doing now, no need to play this game to support such just need to drive home the fact that this is a game and if nessecary intervene his game find him a healthier hobby for him to take up on.
Game is called trust. First thing you have to do is forget that word. |
Diotima Saraki
Perkone Caldari State
2
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Posted - 2011.11.30 09:06:00 -
[16] - Quote
Pi Muka wrote:i don't know what troll is
had to have my nephew who also plays this video show me how to talk on here so please forgive my ignorance. I do not know who was responsible for what happened so I have nobody in specific to blame, but I felt it is within my rights to express my extreme displeasure with what occured. Of course you are entirely within your rights to express your opinion
However, there are two points I would ask you to consider:
(1) Backstabbing, betrayal, scamming, ... (and subsequent revenge) is an integral part of the game. It is promoted in the trailers, the lore, the novels and facilitated by game rules & mechanics. This freedom to be evil (and maybe the implied challenge to be good regardless) is what brought many of us to this game. MMOs tend to mirror the real world much more closely than other - traditional - games and sometimes it is easy to forget that they are in fact "just a game". We don't complain about other players trying to mislead us when playing Poker, we accept the fact that our best friends (in real-life) will break all agreements and backstab us in Risk when we are at our weakest, we understand that it's nothing personal when our opponents only offer us "unfair" trades while playing Settlers of Catan. Especially the latter two of these games are similar to EVE in the regard that they allow us to play cooperatively or hostile for large parts of the game and that they often last long enough for the other players to retaliate against any "bad" behavior. One game of EVE lasts forever and the winning conditions are unclear (but players usually have some idea what they have to do to "get ahead"). However, you cannot be eliminated from the game of EVE - even if you lose all your ships, all your assets and all your friends there's always a way to bounce back and re-enter the game.
(2) It is mostly pointless to try and accommodate someone who is prone to depression. I am saying this as a person who has suffered from bipolar episodes since my teens. For other persons it is basically impossible to know what is "safe" to say at any given time and what might trigger severe depression. Remarks and actions that may seem entirely harmless to a rationally thinking person can be devastating when you are already on the edge of depression. On the other hand I may completely overlook real insults when I am in a hypomanic state of mind. It is almost impossible for other people in real life to be sure about my mood and the impact their words & actions might have. On the internet a great amount of clues (body language etc) are missing and the general setting is much more restricted (to some degree we all are role-playing a character that is not ourselves) which makes things even harder. The only reasonable course of action under these circumstances is to act as if you were dealing with a rational person. It will backfire occasionally and might have very sad consequences but "the environment" has so little information and insight that it simply cannot be given the responsibility not to hurt the one who may be prone to depression.
edit: that all being said - your point of view is not uncommon even amongst EVE players. If you have some spare time you might find this thread to be an interesting read: https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=27874 I hope your husband gets well soon. |
CausticS0da
Viziam Amarr Empire
1
|
Posted - 2011.11.30 09:06:00 -
[17] - Quote
Botleten wrote:Its a ******* game, if your husband took it that seriously he probably shouldn't be playing a game that allows for, if not encourages, the more nefarious aspects of human nature. There are other games out there that wont hurt his feelings where people can't scam him. If you're so sensitive that you cant deal with these sorts of things, then don't play eve. Its that simple.
FYI eve is an mmo so the people you deal with are real. |
Jaroslav Unwanted
Brutor Tribe Minmatar Republic
84
|
Posted - 2011.11.30 09:08:00 -
[18] - Quote
CausticS0da wrote:Botleten wrote:Its a ******* game, if your husband took it that seriously he probably shouldn't be playing a game that allows for, if not encourages, the more nefarious aspects of human nature. There are other games out there that wont hurt his feelings where people can't scam him. If you're so sensitive that you cant deal with these sorts of things, then don't play eve. Its that simple. FYI eve is an mmo so the people you deal with are real.
And you playing it is real too. And time spend is "real" too.. As i wrote game is called trust.
Altho He is weak, so i am. But i dont trust anyone, include me. So its kind of pre-emptive strike against such. |
Corp 5py
University of Caille Gallente Federation
2
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Posted - 2011.11.30 09:10:00 -
[19] - Quote
I'd get your husband OFF eve as soon as possible and not allow him to return, ever.
Remember, at the end of the day, only eve friend you can trust is the one within IRL striking distance There are other less backstab-y online pass times out there that he may find appealing. |
Tora Oni
Pator Tech School Minmatar Republic
43
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Posted - 2011.11.30 09:13:00 -
[20] - Quote
Don't blame a game or the players who play it. This is how EVE is suppose to be. Maybe he should try another game less stressful. Hope he gets better soon. |
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Jaroslav Unwanted
Brutor Tribe Minmatar Republic
84
|
Posted - 2011.11.30 09:13:00 -
[21] - Quote
Corp 5py wrote:I'd get your husband OFF eve as soon as possible and not allow him to return, ever.
Remember, at the end of the day, only eve friend you can trust is the one within IRL striking distance There are other less backstab-y online pass times out there that he may find appealing.
Depend, backstabing is way easier in real life. You get to know someone, you think you know them. You put your guard down. Bam. You are down.
There is only one escape. Death is an solution. Either your own : easiest. Or whole mankind : impossible. |
Mmily Ylimm
Brutor Tribe Minmatar Republic
2
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Posted - 2011.11.30 09:15:00 -
[22] - Quote
I agree with alot of people who have already posted on this thread. If your husband is unable to draw the line between a game and real life then he should not be playing, especially in his state of mind.
I wish you and your family the best and hope you all get through this |
White Tree
XxBroski North Reloaded Federation NinjaGuldDotxX. Elite Space Guild
646
|
Posted - 2011.11.30 09:16:00 -
[23] - Quote
Mnengli Noiliffe wrote:eve is a game that embraces and rewards sociopathic behavior so most of the players who stay after a few months are sociopaths
EVE also rewards trust, co-operation and social cohesion.
EVE does not encourage players to swing one way or other, it simply provides them a means too. This does not necessarily mean that EVE is designed in such a way as to encourage 'sociopathic' behavior.
Above all else, the social nature of EVE is Darwinian. The strong, witty and, creative survive and thrive - Whilst the naive are often pruned. |
Jaroslav Unwanted
Brutor Tribe Minmatar Republic
84
|
Posted - 2011.11.30 09:18:00 -
[24] - Quote
White Tree wrote:Mnengli Noiliffe wrote:eve is a game that embraces and rewards sociopathic behavior so most of the players who stay after a few months are sociopaths EVE also rewards trust, co-operation and social cohesion. EVE does not encourage players to swing one way or other, it simply provides them a means too. This does not necessarily mean that EVE is designed in such a way as to encourage 'sociopathic' behavior. Above all else, the social nature of EVE is Darwinian. The strong, witty and, creative survive and thrive - Whilst the naive are often pruned.
But being naive is kind of good, it makes you feel.
Being strong, witty and creative makes you an AI. You calculate and you win. No feeling attached. |
White Tree
XxBroski North Reloaded Federation NinjaGuldDotxX. Elite Space Guild
646
|
Posted - 2011.11.30 09:23:00 -
[25] - Quote
Jaroslav Unwanted wrote:White Tree wrote:Mnengli Noiliffe wrote:eve is a game that embraces and rewards sociopathic behavior so most of the players who stay after a few months are sociopaths EVE also rewards trust, co-operation and social cohesion. EVE does not encourage players to swing one way or other, it simply provides them a means too. This does not necessarily mean that EVE is designed in such a way as to encourage 'sociopathic' behavior. Above all else, the social nature of EVE is Darwinian. The strong, witty and, creative survive and thrive - Whilst the naive are often pruned. But being naive is kind of good, it makes you feel. Being strong, witty and creative makes you an AI. You calculate and you win. No feeling attached.
There's a half truth here.
Naivety certainly allows EVE to satisfy without much effort, but certainly being witty, creative and strong does not make you an 'AI' by any measure. The greater your scope of mental capabilities the more fingers you can place in more pies. |
Jaroslav Unwanted
Brutor Tribe Minmatar Republic
84
|
Posted - 2011.11.30 09:26:00 -
[26] - Quote
White Tree wrote:Jaroslav Unwanted wrote:White Tree wrote:Mnengli Noiliffe wrote:eve is a game that embraces and rewards sociopathic behavior so most of the players who stay after a few months are sociopaths EVE also rewards trust, co-operation and social cohesion. EVE does not encourage players to swing one way or other, it simply provides them a means too. This does not necessarily mean that EVE is designed in such a way as to encourage 'sociopathic' behavior. Above all else, the social nature of EVE is Darwinian. The strong, witty and, creative survive and thrive - Whilst the naive are often pruned. But being naive is kind of good, it makes you feel. Being strong, witty and creative makes you an AI. You calculate and you win. No feeling attached. There's a half truth here. Naivety certainly allows EVE to satisfy without much effort, but certainly being witty, creative and strong does not make you an 'AI' by any measure. The greater your scope of mental capabilities the more fingers you can place in more pies.
Last response.
I am not arguing. That everyone strong, witty and creative dont feel. But true AI well programmed will actually beat them every time. There is no much difference in thinking between human-being and AI, apart the fact that AI is more capable to adapt,
Either way : you enjoy the game you are fine you suffer while playing, i consider taking an break is way to go.
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Pi Muka
Imperial Academy Amarr Empire
1
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Posted - 2011.11.30 09:56:00 -
[27] - Quote
the user im using to talk is one of my husbands. |
Diotima Saraki
Perkone Caldari State
2
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Posted - 2011.11.30 10:01:00 -
[28] - Quote
Pi Muka wrote:the user im using to talk is one of my husbands. apostrophes matter. |
Cassuriel
School of Applied Knowledge Caldari State
2
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Posted - 2011.11.30 10:07:00 -
[29] - Quote
Firstly,
Sorry to hear about your husband and I hope he makes a full recvovery.
Your comments about the harsh nature of eve are correct, but you need to understand that this game is marketted by CCP to be a cold harsh universe full of combat, corruption and betrayal.
Which is exactly what it is - review some of the promotional videos made by the games producers and there are videos put out there encouraging the kind of behaviour you speak about.
What i'm trying to say is that this game makes no secrets about how 'gritty' or 'nasty' it can be, and anyone who takes things at a personal level instead of an 'its just a game' should take a step back.
I realise this won't be easy for your husband, but until he is better, I'd encourage him to stay well away from Eve.
Please don't blame the community, I understand this sounds bad, but the people stealing and scamming are playing the game as it was conceptualised, intended and promoted by its creators. |
Tore Vest
Vikinghall
98
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Posted - 2011.11.30 10:29:00 -
[30] - Quote
I hope he bounce back. Beleve it or not... There is nice ppl in this game allso |
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