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Why is the space-beard not in vogue?

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Provence Tristram Science and Trade Institute Caldari State 5	Posted - 2015.01.10 11:55:55 - [1] - Quote Legend tells of a mythical swirl of grizzled rug, drooping from a man-face that might itself have been chiseled raw out a barren ice moon. Glimmering slightly in the gloom of deep space, it beckons women-folk with an undeniable, mystical allure, while simultaneously forewarning their masculine counterparts that much wood-chopping, non-wood-related manual labor, beaver pelt skinning and general backwoods shenanigans (typically beginning with a stern nod and ending with a good pipe smoking) has rendered its bearer a near weapon capable of yielding scornful backhand-laced beatdowns. I speak, of course, of the space-beard, and wonder why it is not present in EVE. Why (or, perhaps more accurately, HOW) do the denizens of the four empires fail to heed its mighty call, and how have the women not been driven to the tantalus by its absence? How, indeed, has any procreation gone on without it? Surely much beard stroking might ensue as we contemplate these questions EXCEPT THAT THERE ARE NO REAL BEARDS IN EVE ONLINE. Heavy breathing. I'm just... confused. They're so manly. I could see entire corps based around beardly deeds and derring do and yet... nothing. The stars echo with their absence, CCP!
Omar Alharazaad Lords.Of.Midnight The Devil's Warrior Alliance 1204	Posted - 2015.01.10 12:04:14 - [2] - Quote Okay, so getting soup out of your beard is something of a chore. Now, imagine what total immersion in pod goo would do to it. Plus, the squirrels that used to live in my beard couldn't breathe the pod goo either. Shaving was unfortunately necessary. For the squirrels. They may have lost their old home, but they seem happy in the vent ducts of my CQ now. It is dark here. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
Sadario Appetite 4 Destruction 53	Posted - 2015.01.10 12:07:41 - [3] - Quote I condone this message! Procedurally generated beards that continue to grow every day! Don't worry about getting pod goo in your beards. My dreadlocks are the real problem here...
Ptraci 3 R Corporation The Irukandji. 1874	Posted - 2015.01.10 12:41:50 - [4] - Quote Sadario wrote: I condone this message! Procedurally generated beards that continue to grow every day! Don't worry about getting pod goo in your beards. My dreadlocks are the real problem here... You think YOU have problems...
Ramona McCandless The McCandless Clan 7276	Posted - 2015.01.10 12:49:31 - [5] - Quote The Hipster Pogroms destroyed the majority of bearded knobends and flatcaps in New Eden. Thank **** "Yea, some dude came in and was normal for first couple months, so I gave him director." - Sean Dunaway "A singular character could be hired to penetrate another corps space... using gorilla like tactics..." - Chane Morgann
Big Lynx Chaotic Tranquility Warp to Cyno. 847	Posted - 2015.01.10 12:51:29 - [6] - Quote It's le moustache.
Roberta Gastoni Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation 1	Posted - 2015.01.10 13:00:17 - [7] - Quote I think to remember the system they used was based on some kind of NVIDIA skin/cloth simulation demo, and to my memory that system was good only to render cloth, skin and also metals, but very poor at simulating hairs. In game, if you notice, not only you have a very short beard in all its variation, but you pass from buzzed / shaved hairs to long hairs / tied hairs, which are nothing more than a tissue - type render. English is not my main language, I'm sorry, but what I mean is your hairs are rendered like some kind of Velvet, with a different texture.
Horflimathien Aliastra Gallente Federation 0	Posted - 2015.01.10 13:10:37 - [8] - Quote I have a beard. I'm not telling you where it is though..
Ralph King-Griffin Lords.Of.Midnight The Devil's Warrior Alliance 8384	Posted - 2015.01.10 13:16:44 - [9] - Quote https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=353085&p=5 "I'm also quite confident that you are laughing and it's the kind of laugh that gives normal people shivers." =]I[=
Kaarous Aldurald Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic 11165	Posted - 2015.01.10 13:52:02 - [10] - Quote While not for this particular character, as I tried to make him look as much like Korean Michael Jackson as I could, I support the addition of beards to EVE Online's character models. "Verily, I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good because they had no claws." One of ours, ten of theirs.
Rhatar Khurin Happy Asteroid Ltd 755	Posted - 2015.01.10 15:42:07 - [11] - Quote What i would do for a decent beard...
Deacon Abox Justified Chaos Spaceship Bebop 444	Posted - 2015.01.10 15:49:21 - [12] - Quote Omar Alharazaad wrote: Okay, so getting soup out of your beard is something of a chore. Now, imagine what total immersion in pod goo would do to it. Plus, the squirrels that used to live in my beard couldn't breathe the pod goo either. Shaving was unfortunately necessary. For the squirrels. They may have lost their old home, but they seem happy in the vent ducts of my CQ now. Do they bring you "tales from beyond" the door? CCP, there are off buttons for ship explosions, missile effects, turret effects, etc. "Immersion" does not seem to be harmed by those. So, [u]please[/u] give us a persisting-áoff button for the jump gate and autoscan visuals.
Godfrey Silvarna Arctic Light Inc. Arctic Light 182	Posted - 2015.01.10 15:59:03 - [13] - Quote Roberta Gastoni wrote: I think to remember the system they used was based on some kind of NVIDIA skin/cloth simulation demo, and to my memory that system was good only to render cloth, skin and also metals, but very poor at simulating hairs. In game, if you notice, not only you have a very short beard in all its variation, but you pass from buzzed / shaved hairs to long hairs / tied hairs, which are nothing more than a tissue - type render. English is not my main language, I'm sorry, but what I mean is your hairs are rendered like some kind of Velvet, with a different texture. A braided beard would provide an excellent and stylish solution to this technical limitation. We demand more beards!
Benny Ohu Chaotic Tranquility Warp to Cyno. 4255	Posted - 2015.01.10 16:04:22 - [14] - Quote perhaps there could be a shaving minigame where you manipulate a razor to harvest the bristles resource this would actually provide more gameplay value than mining
Benny Ohu Chaotic Tranquility Warp to Cyno. 4255	Posted - 2015.01.10 16:07:57 - [15] - Quote more seriously i modeled benny after reading his subrace's lore entry if i remember right, it said beards went in and out of style, so i gave him the short-hair one. i might have chosen a fuller beard but the only proper one comes with a moustache which i dislike benny's young but artificially greys his chin hair to look fashionable
Lfod Shi Lfod's Ratting and Salvage 229	Posted - 2015.01.10 17:08:52 - [16] - Quote One does what one can with the tools at hand. GÖ¬ They'll always be bloodclaws to me GÖ½
Solecist Project All Glory to the HypnoBoobs 14606	Posted - 2015.01.10 18:05:46 - [17] - Quote Because Vogue is a woman's magazine. Ralph King-Griffin > ** you sol, years, **ing years since thats happend "I like the idea of them being spread out" - Mike Azariah, no context. ;)
Herzog Wolfhammer Sigma Special Tactics Group 6041	Posted - 2015.01.10 19:59:48 - [18] - Quote Omar Alharazaad wrote: Okay, so getting soup out of your beard is something of a chore. Now, imagine what total immersion in pod goo would do to it. Plus, the squirrels that used to live in my beard couldn't breathe the pod goo either. Shaving was unfortunately necessary. For the squirrels. They may have lost their old home, but they seem happy in the vent ducts of my CQ now. Does not seem to bother by dredlocks though. Bring back DEEEEP Space!
Serene Repose 2041	Posted - 2015.01.10 20:27:35 - [19] - Quote As soon as the beard mechanic is clarified I plan to engage in this play style. I'm waiting for the loops to be closed, bugs to be stomped and exploits to be plugged. Perhaps a goate+¬, or maybe a balbo. Treason never prospers. What is the reason? Why, if it prospers, none dare call it "treason."
Unsuccessful At Everything The Troll Bridge 19181	Posted - 2015.01.10 20:31:06 - [20] - Quote Eve, a game where there is a distinct lack of Space Wizards, Mongolian warlords and Lumbersexuals. Ive recently been informed that the last one is now a thing. *Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?* Vote Sabriz Adoudel for CSM 10!
Jack Morrison Manson Family Advent of Fate 172	Posted - 2015.01.10 20:40:05 - [21] - Quote 10 pieces of the stuff you smoke, mixed - not stirred "This is nothing more than a rumor with no basis of fact. Hope that's enough of a confirmation for you guys. :)" Coolstorybro
Marsha Mallow 1849	Posted - 2015.01.10 20:40:16 - [22] - Quote Provence Tristram wrote: They're so manly. Counterpoint: lantern face/neck/other bits due to beard rash is nasty. Provence Tristram wrote: EXCEPT THAT THERE ARE NO REAL BEARDS IN EVE ONLINE. 97% of the SausageFest neckbeard attendees would beg to differ. In fact I think they are engaged in a hair competition. Maybe they enjoy escaping these RL concerns by posing as space strumpets in the OOPE caldendar of the month. Provence Tristram wrote: beard stroking might ensue OK, SOLD DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!
Serene Repose 2042	Posted - 2015.01.10 20:49:33 - [23] - Quote Marsha Mallow wrote: ...Maybe they enjoy escaping these RL concerns by posing as space strumpets in the OOPE calendar of the month.... Space strumpets. That's great. I like that. Space strumpets. Treason never prospers. What is the reason? Why, if it prospers, none dare call it "treason."
Herzog Wolfhammer Sigma Special Tactics Group 6045	Posted - 2015.01.10 21:20:56 - [24] - Quote Since the let players have robot arms and artificial eyes... how about cyborg beards that any player can use? Wouldn't it be great to have a beard that say, shoots little lasers or something? Why do I have an urge now to have some bacon and wash it down with craft beer? - OMG I've entered "the bro zone" and the 3 Bs (beards, beer, bacon) Bring back DEEEEP Space!
Hippinse University of Caille Gallente Federation 34	Posted - 2015.01.10 21:48:41 - [25] - Quote A missing beard is the least of my worries.
Roberta Gastoni Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation 1	Posted - 2015.01.10 22:47:03 - [26] - Quote I've made some research since my reply earlier today, and I think I've found a fitting beard that could be easly rendered with good results by our avatar system: http://tinyurl.com/mvw3gn7
Cpanicus The Scope Gallente Federation 4	Posted - 2015.01.10 22:52:57 - [27] - Quote I've got the best beard going. I just wish it would grow longer.
Mr M Sebiestor Tribe 445	Posted - 2015.01.10 23:00:24 - [28] - Quote +1 Linux beard Share your experience Write for the EVE Tribune www.eve-tribune.com
Zimmy Zeta Lisa Needs Braces. 53712	Posted - 2015.01.10 23:08:20 - [29] - Quote Roberta Gastoni wrote: I've made some research since my reply earlier today, and I think I've found a fitting beard that could be easly rendered with good results by our avatar system: http://tinyurl.com/mvw3gn7 so this exists..... I'd like to apologize for the poor quality of the post above and sincerely hope you didn't waste your time reading it. Yes, I do feel bad about it.
Vector Symian 0 Fear 0	Posted - 2015.01.10 23:20:27 - [30] - Quote Don't like beards and probably wont grow one... However the post was a well crafted masterpiece , well done!
ISD Ezwal ISD Community Communications Liaisons 3509	Posted - 2015.01.10 23:48:56 - [31] - Quote Provence Tristram wrote: Why is the space-beard not in vogue?! If real beards were available in the character creator, they would... ISD Ezwal Vice Admiral Community Communication Liaisons (CCLs) Interstellar Services Department
Provence Tristram Science and Trade Institute Caldari State 13	Posted - 2015.01.11 00:30:40 - [32] - Quote ISD Ezwal wrote: Provence Tristram wrote: Why is the space-beard not in vogue?! If real beards were available in the character creator, they would... I think some William Riker-style bristles would be particularly chic, and well-suited for space travel considering their lengthily test run. Then again, it's very difficult to argue with the sheer impact of something like this.
Solecist Project All Glory to the HypnoBoobs 14668	Posted - 2015.01.11 00:58:11 - [33] - Quote Marsha Mallow wrote: Provence Tristram wrote: They're so manly. Counterpoint: lantern face/neck/other bits due to beard rash is nasty. Provence Tristram wrote: EXCEPT THAT THERE ARE NO REAL BEARDS IN EVE ONLINE. 97% of the SausageFest neckbeard attendees would beg to differ. In fact I think they are engaged in a hair competition. Maybe they enjoy escaping these RL concerns by posing as space strumpets in the OOPE calendar of the month. Provence Tristram wrote: beard stroking might ensue OK, SOLD Sol Project wrote: I haven't really shaved in over two weeks now ... scratches beard Ralph King-Griffin > ** you sol, years, **ing years since thats happend "I like the idea of them being spread out" - Mike Azariah, no context. ;)
Tisiphone Dira New Order Logistics CODE. 86	Posted - 2015.01.11 05:18:11 - [34] - Quote I would look great with a beard, it's pretty much the only thing that could make me even more beautiful. Please add more facial hair ccp.
Stig Caldar V.I.N.T.A.G.E 0	Posted - 2015.01.11 11:35:56 - [35] - Quote +1 for ZZ Top stylee beards!
Pliskkenn Tribal Liberation Force Minmatar Republic 14	Posted - 2015.01.11 13:01:43 - [36] - Quote Despite all the advancements made in the EVE universe it comes down to one major problem. Beard Dandruff, or Beardruff if you will. While we can wash the pod good out with shampoo for our hair, it just doesn't work for our beards and so to stay in vogue, we must forsake out facial topiary.
Zimmy Zeta Lisa Needs Braces. 53750	Posted - 2015.01.11 15:23:40 - [37] - Quote Serene Repose wrote: Marsha Mallow wrote: ...Maybe they enjoy escaping these RL concerns by posing as space strumpets in the OOPE calendar of the month.... Space strumpets. That's great. I like that. Space strumpets. Solvent Sniffing Space Strumpets. Yeah...has a nice ring to it... I'd like to apologize for the poor quality of the post above and sincerely hope you didn't waste your time reading it. Yes, I do feel bad about it.
Bob Maths EVE University Ivy League 24	Posted - 2015.01.11 17:32:35 - [38] - Quote Pliskkenn wrote: Despite all the advancements made in the EVE universe it comes down to one major problem. Beard Dandruff, or Beardruff if you will. While we can wash the pod good out with shampoo for our hair, it just doesn't work for our beards and so to stay in vogue, we must forsake out facial topiary. Have you ever seen an astronaut with a beard?
Stig Caldar V.I.N.T.A.G.E 0	Posted - 2015.01.13 19:49:26 - [39] - Quote Pliskkenn wrote: Despite all the advancements made in the EVE universe it comes down to one major problem. Beard Dandruff, or Beardruff if you will. While we can wash the pod good out with shampoo for our hair, it just doesn't work for our beards and so to stay in vogue, we must forsake out facial topiary. Personally I use my beard in RL as an extra pocket.... ...it's amazing how many pens or nibblets you can stuff inside it!
DaReaper Net 7 1688	Posted - 2015.01.13 21:00:52 - [40] - Quote Provence Tristram wrote: ISD Ezwal wrote: Provence Tristram wrote: Why is the space-beard not in vogue?! If real beards were available in the character creator, they would... I think some William Riker-style bristles would be particularly chic, and well-suited for space travel considering their lengthily test run. Then again, it's very difficult to argue with the sheer impact of something like this. That's how I wear mine irl when I can be assed to shave OMG Comet Mining idea!!! Comet Mining!

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