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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 1 post(s) |
SpaceSquirrels
22
   |
Posted - 2011.12.07 02:51:00 -
[31] - Quote
Girls dont come to you... And dont ask themselves out. (Though if you find one of those for the love of god dont **** it up!)
Shower.
Have a job... They say money doesnt buy you love... It does improve your bargaining position though.
Don't live with your parents.
Dont live like a shlub.
Thats just the basics. |
Krios Ahzek
Juvenis Iratus
232
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 02:51:00 -
[32] - Quote
Olleybear wrote:You have to show the money to get the honey.
More seriously:
Wash yourself everyday.
Floss. If you dont floss, try it, then smell the floss to see what anyone that is talking to you smells when you dont floss.
Wear new clothes, they dont have to be expensive, just new. Your 15 year old favorite shirt that has animal grease stains on the front isnt going to cut it.
Talk and joke. Ladies are more comfortable around people who can interact with them verbaly and make them laugh.
While talking, do not tell them your life story of how your mom hates you, your dog died, your dad left your mom, your employer is the devil himself, and how you got turned down for the third time when trying to get food stamps and social security because of your anger managment issues.
Smile at them and dont glare. We know that lady down the hall is really hot, but the hungry slaver hound staring kinda makes the ladies fear you.
As always, your mileage may vary.
Also if you couldn't figure this out by yourself you're screwed, and also poor and homeless unless by inheritance
I live, I post, I slay. I am content.
|
Xenuria
Marcabian 5th Invasion Fleet
Hearts And Minds Alliance
30
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 02:53:00 -
[33] - Quote
Girls are Mean! |
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
119
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 03:07:00 -
[34] - Quote
Alara IonStorm wrote:Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:Alara IonStorm wrote:Find someone who is a loner. Get to know them and turn them against there friends and family. Worm your way into every aspect of there life and make them depend on you emotionally as there sole source of support. Financially too if you can swing it. Make them burn all there bridges and then get them while they are vulnerable.
If you get bored with them feel free to drug them and tell everyone they overdosed before restarting the cycle.
If you want non Sociopathic advise I would say your on the wrong forum. Helps if they're already an addict to said drug, makes it easier to get away with it. This really OP. Generally if they are addicted from the get go they are easier to manipulate. Pain Meds and Amphetamines are a good place to start, they usually haven't dug the hole to deep yet. Mental Illness helps, depression, social anxiety stuff like that. Remember they are sneaky, trying to pretend they are Ok. Look for head down, slow walking and shying away from looking at you directly in the eye. Usually quite until you talk them then the desperate ones tend to ramble and open up about everything. Sneak in comments that make them feel inadequate but don't depress them to much that they spiral on you. Gotta find just the right amount of hopelessness.
You could also go all out with the emotional abuse until they off themselves and your hands will be totally clean. Though you do have to separate them from their friends and family so they don't catch on. |
Krios Ahzek
Juvenis Iratus
232
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 03:09:00 -
[35] - Quote
ITT: Humanity's best and brightest
I live, I post, I slay. I am content.
|
Killie
Loki's Marauders
Dragoons.
1
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Posted - 2011.12.07 03:11:00 -
[36] - Quote
lol for the love of god...... sociopaths....... |
Krios Ahzek
Juvenis Iratus
232
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 03:14:00 -
[37] - Quote
Killie wrote:lol for the love of god...... sociopaths.......
And psychiatrists, if you are to be beliebed
I live, I post, I slay. I am content.
|
Nova Fox
Novafox Shipyards
539
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 03:19:00 -
[38] - Quote
I let a bunch of coworkers fill out my E-haromy questionair to try to be honest as possible as people typically lie about themselves to fulfill some sorta quotent for thier egos and got no results,
The webstie told me that I was too good to be true?
Well you know what they say if you want something done right gotta do it yoruself
BTW what not to do on online sites.
eHarmony Fail
Some lewd language concerns if you that easily offended.
|
Jaroslav Unwanted
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
93
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 03:22:00 -
[39] - Quote
Karadion wrote:You already have a girlfriend. It's your left hand.
How is it said..
hey, i must say something, if i may
I never ****** ten, but once i ****** five "toes"/"two's"
That count.. |
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
119
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 03:41:00 -
[40] - Quote
Karadion wrote:You already have a girlfriend. It's your left hand.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsuL6tRlijo |
Alpheias
Euphoria Released
HYDRA RELOADED
201
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 04:00:00 -
[41] - Quote
Nova Fox wrote:I let a bunch of coworkers fill out my E-haromy questionair to try to be honest as possible as people typically lie about themselves to fulfill some sorta quotent for thier egos and got no results, The webstie told me that I was too good to be true? Well you know what they say if you want something done right gotta do it yoruself BTW what not to do on online sites. eHarmony FailSome lewd language concerns if you that easily offended.
Something tells me that you have more experience than the average male with the place.
I'd kill kittens and puppies and bunnies
I'd maim toddlers and teens and then more |
Grey Stormshadow
Starwreck Industries
458
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 04:06:00 -
[42] - Quote
Ms Sexy wrote:Hi i very lonely, i get sad at night and cwy my self to sleewp somtimes.
How does one get a real life girl friend?
I am 32 years old.
Order a real doll and convince yourself that it is your comatose fianc+Že whom just had one too many to drink.
|
Jack Traynor
One More Corp
1
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 04:09:00 -
[43] - Quote
If you're sitting at home reading this thread, you've already lost. |
Nova Fox
Novafox Shipyards
539
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 04:14:00 -
[44] - Quote
Alpheias wrote:Nova Fox wrote:I let a bunch of coworkers fill out my E-haromy questionair to try to be honest as possible as people typically lie about themselves to fulfill some sorta quotent for thier egos and got no results, The webstie told me that I was too good to be true? Well you know what they say if you want something done right gotta do it yoruself BTW what not to do on online sites. eHarmony FailSome lewd language concerns if you that easily offended. Something tells me that you have more experience than the average male with the place.
Well... I think my quarry had the mispleasure in dealing with my intelligence being to much for them and lack appreciation for my expensive dates and lack of gifts followed by refusal to laying them down on the first date probably resulted in either me being uninterested or vice versa.
Commitment the hardest step to get to.
|
Mirima Thurander
Sarajevo Syndicate
True Reign
90
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 04:32:00 -
[45] - Quote
Jack Traynor wrote:If you're sitting at home reading this thread, you've already lost.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
I love the the smell of victory in the morning. It smells like... Blood, vomit and burning flesh.
I Like You. I'll Kill You Last. |
Herping yourDerp
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
189
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 04:36:00 -
[46] - Quote
find cute girl
say HIIII UR CUTE WANNA GO GET SOME FOOD AND THEN SEE A BAD MOVIE THAT U WILL PROBABLY LIKE ANYWAYS
if she says yes pull her pants down cause ur in the zone. |
Grey Stormshadow
Starwreck Industries
458
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 04:56:00 -
[47] - Quote
find a cute girl
say HIIII UR CUTE I'M DENTIST WANNA GO TO MY PLACE AND I'LL PATCH YOUR HOLES
if she says yes, you're doing it wrong.
|
Selinate
145
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 05:37:00 -
[48] - Quote
Jack Traynor wrote:If you're sitting at home reading this thread, you've already lost.
Hmmm?
I think I actually won years ago, so I just don't really have to try any more (I'm just that good)... |
Trainwreck McGee
Ghost Ship Inc.
149
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 05:44:00 -
[49] - Quote
simple start playing EVE after you marry one and just refuse to sign the divorce papers.
CCP Trainwreck - Weekend Custodial Engineer / CCP Necrogoats foot stool |
XIRUSPHERE
In Bacon We Trust
147
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 06:16:00 -
[50] - Quote
Pirate another players woman, worked for me and it's nice having her jab at me for hardly playing 
I still ponder my stupid luck after our first real conversation was essentially nothing but my varied dirty conquest and achievements such as causing a former lover to require reconstructive surgery of the pooper ( real life xbox achievements ftw ).
The advantage of a bad memory is that one can enjoy the same good things for the first time several times.
One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear. |
Headerman
Quovis
Shadow of xXDEATHXx
378
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 06:16:00 -
[51] - Quote
Ms Sexy wrote:Hi i very lonely, i get sad at night and cwy my self to sleewp somtimes.
How does one get a real life girl friend?
I am 32 years old.
You sound suspiciously like a typical goon alt.
The Apostle : I want a kangeroo
Captain Kirk : Silly Austrians
Sarmatiko : Let me guess: you're from US?
Captain Kirk : Yeah Riverside IA - why? |
supersexysucker
Uber Awesome Fantastico Awesomeness Group
18
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 06:19:00 -
[52] - Quote
Krios Ahzek wrote:supersexysucker wrote:Ms Sexy wrote:Hi i very lonely, i get sad at night and cwy my self to sleewp somtimes.
How does one get a real life girl friend?
I am 32 years old. I heard when you go blow yourself up for some god or something he gives you tons of g/f's!!!! Virgins, actually, and virgins make for poor girlfriends. Non-virgins actually had another poor sob do the teaching.
Yes but OP likely needs ones who have no idea how bad he is...
lol ALSO op never said what he wanted...  |
Tear Miner
Republic University
Minmatar Republic
69
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 06:25:00 -
[53] - Quote
I like how the top posts in Eve GD at the moment have nothing to do with Eve.
In b4 the move.
 |
Dbars Grinding
Garoun Investment Bank
Gallente Federation
72
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 06:28:00 -
[54] - Quote
Stay away from girls and don't talk to them. You will have more time to follow your dreams and become rich. Being alone is more fun any ways. |
Skydell
Space Mermaids
8
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 06:30:00 -
[55] - Quote
Ms Sexy wrote:Hi i very lonely, i get sad at night and cwy my self to sleewp somtimes.
How does one get a real life girl friend?
I am 32 years old.
Stop talking like a ***
|
Nova Fox
Novafox Shipyards
542
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 06:31:00 -
[56] - Quote
I should have kidnapped that vixen from japan.
Though I didnt want to put her though immigration to the states.
|
St Mio
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
164
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 06:39:00 -
[57] - Quote
Oh you guys. |
Serene Repose
Perkone
Caldari State
132
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 06:55:00 -
[58] - Quote
If you're 32 years old, and you're still after a girlfriend and not a woman, that says a lot in itself.
When I was single, and swingin' I'll tell you what got my attention. It was that long green. Show me a billfold too fat to fold and you have a friend for life. "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend..." (We can say "girl." You can't.") There's a lot more behind that phrase than...no, wait. It says it exactly.
The truth is...as if I'd lie...since the gender revolution we ladies aren't quite sure what we want in a man. (Yes, it's always been that way but this time it's different.) As you can tell by television commercials there's the dominant female with the subservient, dorky guy who's lucky we're still hanging around. That's safe, but there's no adventure in it. After a while a girl realizes it's more fun to be angry than bored.
Here's a handy little checklist for you. It may help:
1. Do not have a tatoo on your face.
2. Do not mention your mother more than once in a lifetime.
3. Do not mention my dad ever.
4. The only excuse you have for not spending money on me is, you're too busy earning it.
5. We own the bathroom. You're a passerby. (That's very hard to get across to some guys.)
6. Yes, the toilet seat position when you leave is a critical issue.
7. Try to be dangerous.
8. Never get caught.
9. Keep your laundry off the floor.
Now, I know that cuts about 99% of the male population totally out of the game. But, if you're wondering why you sit alone playing ridiculous video games for hours on end, you might find your answer somewhere in there.
Smokestack lightnin' shinin' just like gold. |
Alara IonStorm
RvB - BLUE Republic
572
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 07:02:00 -
[59] - Quote
Serene Repose wrote:
3. Do not mention my dad ever.
You used a passive statement for everything but your father. You said my which refers to you directly.
Please just go ahead and share what he did to **** you up.
/popcorn.
|
Serene Repose
Perkone
Caldari State
132
|
Posted - 2011.12.07 07:26:00 -
[60] - Quote
Alara IonStorm wrote:Serene Repose wrote:
3. Do not mention my dad ever.
You used a passive statement for everything but your father. You said my which refers to you directly. Please just go ahead and share what he did to **** you up. /popcorn.
Au contraire mon ami. Le boyfriend hasn't the stature to mention daddy even in passing. Maybe one day...not likely. And, contrarywise I'd have to ask you why you are spring-loaded in the "I was abused by my daddy as a child" position? Freud strikes again!
Smokestack lightnin' shinin' just like gold. |
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