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Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
362
   |
Posted - 2015.07.06 11:48:30 -
[1] - Quote
I propose the following solution to the Drifter crisis:
- At the moment, the Drifters collect Empyrean corpses but do not have an interest in other food sources. They must be trained to prefer something else: Minmatar Slaves. Each pilot in New Eden should travel with a supply of Slaves in his cargo hold. When encountering Drifters at a stargate or station or Jove Observatory or other location, he should eject some of these Slaves into space and label the resulting jetcan something enticing, such as "Drifter Food" or "Eat Me" or whatnot.
- Once the Drifters have learned to accept Slaves, the Empress should negotiate immunity from Drifter attack on behalf of the Chosen People of God in return for a steady supply of Minmatar Slaves. Of course, slave breeding programs would have to be accelerated in order to account for the increased demand.
I see no downsides to this program. The sacrifice of Minmatar slaves is of no concern, for God has given that people over to destruction for their many crimes and rebellions against God and his Chosen. Amen. Amarr Victor. |
Samira Kernher
Praetorian Auxiliary Force
Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
1784
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 11:49:57 -
[2] - Quote
Just shut up.
"Embrace those who would learn, defeat those who would make mockery of God's way. Through the penance of deeds, the sins of forefathers may eventually be washed away."
-- His Royal Highness the Heir Yonis Ardishapur
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Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
362
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 11:52:59 -
[3] - Quote
Samira Kernher wrote:Just shut up.
A former Minmatar slave (who never should have been freed in the first place) is not capable of objectively evaluating this proposal.
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Liam Antolliere
Liberty Vanguard
754
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 11:55:05 -
[4] - Quote
I have a counter proposal.
An opportunity for you to be the hero of the cluster, Monsieur Nauplius.
The plan is simple: disable a Drifter battleship, board it and drop you off, disable all of your jump clones so you have nowhere to go and observe.
The rest of us will be able to ascertain how discerning the Drifters are in their choice of subject by whether or not they choose to make use of you or simply kill you.
You have the opportunity to convert them all to the faith.
Everyone wins.
For science!
"Though the people may hate me, that does not relieve me of my charge."
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Trii Seo
760
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 12:23:18 -
[5] - Quote
Liam Antolliere wrote:I have a counter proposal.
An opportunity for you to be the hero of the cluster, Monsieur Nauplius.
The plan is simple: disable a Drifter battleship, board it and drop you off, disable all of your jump clones so you have nowhere to go and observe.
The rest of us will be able to ascertain how discerning the Drifters are in their choice of subject by whether or not they choose to make use of you or simply kill you.
You have the opportunity to convert them all to the faith.
Everyone wins.
For science!
Missed your opportunity yesterday...
The king is dead, long live the king!
Glory to Maximilian Singularity the Sixth, First of his Name!
|
Quin Mansa
Mamelik Hurusiyyad
38
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 13:37:46 -
[6] - Quote
Once again you have shown that, in your self-imposed exile from the Light of the Almighty, you have robbed yourself of one of His greatest gifts: reason.
I do not presume to speak for Her Imperial Majesty, but I do not believe the Empress would ask us to forego the Reclaiming in order to provide succor to a tongueless aggressor. That you believe She would is evidence that you are still sick with sin.
Throw yourself to the foot of God, and beg for Salvation, else face the purification of His Light! |
Foley Aberas Jones
Huogikku Corporation
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
313
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 14:03:51 -
[7] - Quote
Nauplius wrote:I propose the following solution to the Drifter crisis:
- At the moment, the Drifters collect Empyrean corpses but do not have an interest in other food sources. They must be trained to prefer something else: Minmatar Slaves. Each pilot in New Eden should travel with a supply of Slaves in his cargo hold. When encountering Drifters at a stargate or station or Jove Observatory or other location, he should eject some of these Slaves into space and label the resulting jetcan something enticing, such as "Drifter Food" or "Eat Me" or whatnot.
- Once the Drifters have learned to accept Slaves, the Empress should negotiate immunity from Drifter attack on behalf of the Chosen People of God in return for a steady supply of Minmatar Slaves. Of course, slave breeding programs would have to be accelerated in order to account for the increased demand.
I see no downsides to this program. The sacrifice of Minmatar slaves is of no concern, for God has given that people over to destruction for their many crimes and rebellions against God and his Chosen. Amen. Amarr Victor.
Does this count as shitposting?
Because if it does then i accept the challenge of out shitposting you Nappy |
Angelica Dreamstar
Miner's House of ill repute
658
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 14:11:01 -
[8] - Quote
What about sex slaves specifically? They sell really well on the black market in Amarr, which is also biggest in the whole cluster, btw.
It's really like doing community work and when you don't see me post I had a day off.
|
Aria Jenneth
Pyre Falcon Defence and Security
Multicultural F1 Brigade
1030
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 14:23:32 -
[9] - Quote
Nauplius wrote:I propose the following solution to the Drifter crisis:
- At the moment, the Drifters collect Empyrean corpses but do not have an interest in other food sources. They must be trained to prefer something else: Minmatar Slaves. Each pilot in New Eden should travel with a supply of Slaves in his cargo hold. When encountering Drifters at a stargate or station or Jove Observatory or other location, he should eject some of these Slaves into space and label the resulting jetcan something enticing, such as "Drifter Food" or "Eat Me" or whatnot.
- Once the Drifters have learned to accept Slaves, the Empress should negotiate immunity from Drifter attack on behalf of the Chosen People of God in return for a steady supply of Minmatar Slaves. Of course, slave breeding programs would have to be accelerated in order to account for the increased demand.
I see no downsides to this program. The sacrifice of Minmatar slaves is of no concern, for God has given that people over to destruction for their many crimes and rebellions against God and his Chosen. Amen. Amarr Victor.
/facepalm |
Johanes Beaumonte
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
66
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 14:49:04 -
[10] - Quote
*connects*
"You forgot something."
*Clears this throat*
"And also... Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!"
*pulls out a cigar and puffs it furiously as he disconnects* |
Aria Jenneth
Pyre Falcon Defence and Security
Multicultural F1 Brigade
1030
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 15:07:02 -
[11] - Quote
Johanes Beaumonte wrote:*connects*
"You forgot something."
*Clears this throat*
"And also... Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!"
*pulls out a cigar and puffs it furiously as he disconnects*
Thanks, Mr. Beaumote.
I just couldn't work up the enthusiasm. |
Sammie MacWinters
Dutch East Querious Company
Phoebe Freeport Republic
25
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 16:29:03 -
[12] - Quote
Shut up Nauplius. |
Michael Pawlicki
Mind Collapse
23
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 16:54:31 -
[13] - Quote
Trii Seo wrote:Liam Antolliere wrote:I have a counter proposal.
An opportunity for you to be the hero of the cluster, Monsieur Nauplius.
The plan is simple: disable a Drifter battleship, board it and drop you off, disable all of your jump clones so you have nowhere to go and observe.
The rest of us will be able to ascertain how discerning the Drifters are in their choice of subject by whether or not they choose to make use of you or simply kill you.
You have the opportunity to convert them all to the faith.
Everyone wins.
For science! Missed your opportunity yesterday...
Speaking of that opportunity, how did everything go? |
Anyanka Funk
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
123
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 17:44:27 -
[14] - Quote
This won't work. Slaves are usually not clones. Clones have pure organic and inorganic parts unlike diseased drug ridden slaves. Good try Nauplius, but I think red god just wants us to purify the filth in sacrificing it to god alone, not giving it to something other than god. |
Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
Sani-Sabik
865
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 18:30:54 -
[15] - Quote
I have a better solution.
1. Construct a giant laser.
Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
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Claudia Osyn
Minmatar Confederate
Ushra'Khan
1342
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 18:33:19 -
[16] - Quote
This again? Nauppie, I thought we taught you better then this. Minmatar are friends, not food.
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
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Anyanka Funk
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
123
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 18:44:40 -
[17] - Quote
Claudia Osyn wrote:This again? Nauppie, I thought we taught you better then this. Minmatar are friends, not food.
We're versatile. |
Andreus Ixiris
Duty.
Circle-Of-Two
5379
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 18:57:05 -
[18] - Quote
Valerie Valate wrote:I have a better solution.
1. Construct a giant laser.
Holy crap, Valerie Valate wrote something I actually agree with.
Andreus Ixiris > A Civire without a chin is barely a Civire at all.
Pieter Tuulinen > He'd be Civirely disadvantaged, Andreus.
Andreus Ixiris > ...
Andreus Ixiris > This is why we're at war.
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Corraidhin Farsaidh
Farsaidh's Freeborn
1352
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 21:07:30 -
[19] - Quote
It would be hilarious if Nauplius turned up with a hold full of slaves and it turned out the Drifters have issues with the Amarr because they hate slavery... |
Diana Kim
State Protectorate
Caldari State
1865
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 21:14:09 -
[20] - Quote
Can't be used inside Caldari territory: using, transporting, owning, holding slaves or being a slave inside Caldari State space is prohibited.
Support: denied. |
Liam Antolliere
Liberty Vanguard
762
|
Posted - 2015.07.06 22:15:43 -
[21] - Quote
Diana Kim wrote:Support: denied.
We're all heart-broken.
No, really.
"Though the people may hate me, that does not relieve me of my charge."
|
Lord Kailethre
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
138
|
Posted - 2015.07.07 00:50:40 -
[22] - Quote
Diana Kim wrote:Can't be used inside Caldari territory: using, transporting, owning, holding slaves or being a slave inside Caldari State space is prohibited.
Support: denied.
Fairly sure this has absolutely zero to do with the State and it's territory.
But thanks for your input anyway. :) |
Elmund Egivand
Federal Defense Union
Gallente Federation
481
|
Posted - 2015.07.07 01:15:51 -
[23] - Quote
Corraidhin Farsaidh wrote:It would be hilarious if Nauplius turned up with a hold full of slaves and it turned out the Drifters have issues with the Amarr because they hate slavery...
I'm sure they would ignore the cargo-container full of slaves and pursue his chrome arse, considering that he is a transhuman clone and the ones in the cargo container...aren't.
Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ EVERGREEN ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~Evergreen ~ Family
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Archbishop Abraxas
Defensores Fidei
21
|
Posted - 2015.07.07 02:58:29 -
[24] - Quote
What heresy is this?!
Slaves are meant to be reclaimed and redeemed into holy communion with God.
Not given as sustenance to enemies of His Empire! |
Frenjo Borkstar
Borkstar Laboratories
95
|
Posted - 2015.07.07 04:17:00 -
[25] - Quote
For goodness sake.
THEY DO NOT WANT SLAVES.
Valerie, I have proposed a heavy graviton beam from the day we started.
Nauplius, you already asked me and I told you this wouldn't work...
Dr. Frenjo Borkstar,
Project Lead for Arek'Jaalan's Project Salus,
Borkstar Laboratories.
|
The Golden Serpent
24th Imperial Crusade
Amarr Empire
32
|
Posted - 2015.07.07 10:49:41 -
[26] - Quote
The Minmatar SUCK, I have a few people I would do this to, btw, totally. I asked my commanding officer if I could haul a few back to test on the Drifters she said no and was suuuuuper pissy I asked. She said we just kill them ourselves no Drifter feeding. Also they're acting like it's some big secret when they're just hanging out on every gate everywhere in Amarr, anyone can see that even the regular traffic that comes through not just the Crusade.
Like I said before on here somewhere, they are learning about the true religion and that will cure their disease. Only some of them are crazy and have the darkness in them so it will take a long time.
Also eating people is super gross, I don't know why you do that, but asnyways it is super gross you should stop. (to anyone reading this out there) I am not into cannibals I have to deal with them all the time and they are the biggest dumbest weirdos ever. No one will ever forget you are a cannibal ever it is literally the worst mistake you can make you will have no friends, plus your breath will smell really gross.
Also Nauplius I found out what you did I read about it in the news and people are so mad at you. I can't believe you did that, I so totally cannot believe it. Esp. since I live in Kahah wow so wrong. |
Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
369
|
Posted - 2015.07.07 11:34:48 -
[27] - Quote
Frenjo Borkstar wrote:For goodness sake.
THEY DO NOT WANT SLAVES.
Valerie, I have proposed a heavy graviton beam from the day we started.
Nauplius, you already asked me and I told you this wouldn't work...
I know that they do not want slaves yet. The whole point of step 1 in the original post is to train the Drifters in accepting offerings of Slaves. Enough offerings having been provided, they will eventually sample the fare and learn that the taste is Oh so good. Once the Drifters have learned to desire Slaves, the Empress will have the leverage she needs to secure peace by providing them. Amen. Amarr Victor. |
Goldfinch
House Rkard
71
|
Posted - 2015.07.07 11:59:07 -
[28] - Quote
Your perverse interpretation of our Faith leads you to offer the blood of slaves to God, and now you are offering the blood of slaves to Drifters. How many gods are you going to invent?
Get on your knees Nauplius. Your pantheon of false gods demand it. It is you who is the slave. Outcast! Idolater! Unbeliever!
veiled and bound
|
Elmund Egivand
Federal Defense Union
Gallente Federation
482
|
Posted - 2015.07.07 13:05:38 -
[29] - Quote
Goldfinch wrote:
Your perverse interpretation of our Faith leads you to offer the blood of slaves to God, and now you are offering the blood of slaves to Drifters. How many gods are you going to invent?
Get on your knees Nauplius. Your pantheon of false gods demand it. It is you who is the slave. Outcast! Idolater! Unbeliever!
You have lasers and drones. Shoot him already!
Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ EVERGREEN ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~Evergreen ~ Family
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Pieter Tuulinen
Pyre Falcon Defence and Security
Multicultural F1 Brigade
5186
|
Posted - 2015.07.07 18:00:25 -
[30] - Quote
Elmund Egivand wrote:Goldfinch wrote:
Your perverse interpretation of our Faith leads you to offer the blood of slaves to God, and now you are offering the blood of slaves to Drifters. How many gods are you going to invent?
Get on your knees Nauplius. Your pantheon of false gods demand it. It is you who is the slave. Outcast! Idolater! Unbeliever!
You have lasers and drones. Shoot him already!
You act like nobody's done that. He just comes back again.
"Caldari Prime burns, those left behind are choking on the dust and ash that fills the air, and you demand our surrender? Is this a joke? You have only hardened our resolve. Every drop of blood you have taken from us will be repaid -- with interest."
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