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Proposed Solution to the Drifter Menace: Slaves

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Nauplius Hoi Andrapodistai 362	Posted - 2015.07.06 11:48:30 - [1] - Quote I propose the following solution to the Drifter crisis: At the moment, the Drifters collect Empyrean corpses but do not have an interest in other food sources. They must be trained to prefer something else: Minmatar Slaves. Each pilot in New Eden should travel with a supply of Slaves in his cargo hold. When encountering Drifters at a stargate or station or Jove Observatory or other location, he should eject some of these Slaves into space and label the resulting jetcan something enticing, such as "Drifter Food" or "Eat Me" or whatnot. Once the Drifters have learned to accept Slaves, the Empress should negotiate immunity from Drifter attack on behalf of the Chosen People of God in return for a steady supply of Minmatar Slaves. Of course, slave breeding programs would have to be accelerated in order to account for the increased demand. I see no downsides to this program. The sacrifice of Minmatar slaves is of no concern, for God has given that people over to destruction for their many crimes and rebellions against God and his Chosen. Amen. Amarr Victor.
Samira Kernher Praetorian Auxiliary Force Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris 1784	Posted - 2015.07.06 11:49:57 - [2] - Quote Just shut up. "Embrace those who would learn, defeat those who would make mockery of God's way. Through the penance of deeds, the sins of forefathers may eventually be washed away." -- His Royal Highness the Heir Yonis Ardishapur
Nauplius Hoi Andrapodistai 362	Posted - 2015.07.06 11:52:59 - [3] - Quote Samira Kernher wrote: Just shut up. A former Minmatar slave (who never should have been freed in the first place) is not capable of objectively evaluating this proposal.
Liam Antolliere Liberty Vanguard 754	Posted - 2015.07.06 11:55:05 - [4] - Quote I have a counter proposal. An opportunity for you to be the hero of the cluster, Monsieur Nauplius. The plan is simple: disable a Drifter battleship, board it and drop you off, disable all of your jump clones so you have nowhere to go and observe. The rest of us will be able to ascertain how discerning the Drifters are in their choice of subject by whether or not they choose to make use of you or simply kill you. You have the opportunity to convert them all to the faith. Everyone wins. For science! "Though the people may hate me, that does not relieve me of my charge."
Trii Seo 760	Posted - 2015.07.06 12:23:18 - [5] - Quote Liam Antolliere wrote: I have a counter proposal. An opportunity for you to be the hero of the cluster, Monsieur Nauplius. The plan is simple: disable a Drifter battleship, board it and drop you off, disable all of your jump clones so you have nowhere to go and observe. The rest of us will be able to ascertain how discerning the Drifters are in their choice of subject by whether or not they choose to make use of you or simply kill you. You have the opportunity to convert them all to the faith. Everyone wins. For science! Missed your opportunity yesterday... The king is dead, long live the king! Glory to Maximilian Singularity the Sixth, First of his Name!
Quin Mansa Mamelik Hurusiyyad 38	Posted - 2015.07.06 13:37:46 - [6] - Quote Once again you have shown that, in your self-imposed exile from the Light of the Almighty, you have robbed yourself of one of His greatest gifts: reason. I do not presume to speak for Her Imperial Majesty, but I do not believe the Empress would ask us to forego the Reclaiming in order to provide succor to a tongueless aggressor. That you believe She would is evidence that you are still sick with sin. Throw yourself to the foot of God, and beg for Salvation, else face the purification of His Light!
Foley Aberas Jones Huogikku Corporation Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive 313	Posted - 2015.07.06 14:03:51 - [7] - Quote Nauplius wrote: I propose the following solution to the Drifter crisis: At the moment, the Drifters collect Empyrean corpses but do not have an interest in other food sources. They must be trained to prefer something else: Minmatar Slaves. Each pilot in New Eden should travel with a supply of Slaves in his cargo hold. When encountering Drifters at a stargate or station or Jove Observatory or other location, he should eject some of these Slaves into space and label the resulting jetcan something enticing, such as "Drifter Food" or "Eat Me" or whatnot. Once the Drifters have learned to accept Slaves, the Empress should negotiate immunity from Drifter attack on behalf of the Chosen People of God in return for a steady supply of Minmatar Slaves. Of course, slave breeding programs would have to be accelerated in order to account for the increased demand. I see no downsides to this program. The sacrifice of Minmatar slaves is of no concern, for God has given that people over to destruction for their many crimes and rebellions against God and his Chosen. Amen. Amarr Victor. Does this count as shitposting? Because if it does then i accept the challenge of out shitposting you Nappy
Angelica Dreamstar Miner's House of ill repute 658	Posted - 2015.07.06 14:11:01 - [8] - Quote What about sex slaves specifically? They sell really well on the black market in Amarr, which is also biggest in the whole cluster, btw. It's really like doing community work and when you don't see me post I had a day off.
Aria Jenneth Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Multicultural F1 Brigade 1030	Posted - 2015.07.06 14:23:32 - [9] - Quote Nauplius wrote: I propose the following solution to the Drifter crisis: At the moment, the Drifters collect Empyrean corpses but do not have an interest in other food sources. They must be trained to prefer something else: Minmatar Slaves. Each pilot in New Eden should travel with a supply of Slaves in his cargo hold. When encountering Drifters at a stargate or station or Jove Observatory or other location, he should eject some of these Slaves into space and label the resulting jetcan something enticing, such as "Drifter Food" or "Eat Me" or whatnot. Once the Drifters have learned to accept Slaves, the Empress should negotiate immunity from Drifter attack on behalf of the Chosen People of God in return for a steady supply of Minmatar Slaves. Of course, slave breeding programs would have to be accelerated in order to account for the increased demand. I see no downsides to this program. The sacrifice of Minmatar slaves is of no concern, for God has given that people over to destruction for their many crimes and rebellions against God and his Chosen. Amen. Amarr Victor. /facepalm
Johanes Beaumonte Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque 66	Posted - 2015.07.06 14:49:04 - [10] - Quote connects "You forgot something." Clears this throat "And also... Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!" pulls out a cigar and puffs it furiously as he disconnects
Aria Jenneth Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Multicultural F1 Brigade 1030	Posted - 2015.07.06 15:07:02 - [11] - Quote Johanes Beaumonte wrote: connects "You forgot something." Clears this throat "And also... Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!" pulls out a cigar and puffs it furiously as he disconnects Thanks, Mr. Beaumote. I just couldn't work up the enthusiasm.
Sammie MacWinters Dutch East Querious Company Phoebe Freeport Republic 25	Posted - 2015.07.06 16:29:03 - [12] - Quote Shut up Nauplius.
Michael Pawlicki Mind Collapse 23	Posted - 2015.07.06 16:54:31 - [13] - Quote Trii Seo wrote: Liam Antolliere wrote: I have a counter proposal. An opportunity for you to be the hero of the cluster, Monsieur Nauplius. The plan is simple: disable a Drifter battleship, board it and drop you off, disable all of your jump clones so you have nowhere to go and observe. The rest of us will be able to ascertain how discerning the Drifters are in their choice of subject by whether or not they choose to make use of you or simply kill you. You have the opportunity to convert them all to the faith. Everyone wins. For science! Missed your opportunity yesterday... Speaking of that opportunity, how did everything go?
Anyanka Funk Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic 123	Posted - 2015.07.06 17:44:27 - [14] - Quote This won't work. Slaves are usually not clones. Clones have pure organic and inorganic parts unlike diseased drug ridden slaves. Good try Nauplius, but I think red god just wants us to purify the filth in sacrificing it to god alone, not giving it to something other than god.
Valerie Valate Church of The Crimson Saviour Sani-Sabik 865	Posted - 2015.07.06 18:30:54 - [15] - Quote I have a better solution. 1. Construct a giant laser. Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
Claudia Osyn Minmatar Confederate Ushra'Khan 1342	Posted - 2015.07.06 18:33:19 - [16] - Quote This again? Nauppie, I thought we taught you better then this. Minmatar are friends, not food. The lack of money is the root of all evil.
Anyanka Funk Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic 123	Posted - 2015.07.06 18:44:40 - [17] - Quote Claudia Osyn wrote: This again? Nauppie, I thought we taught you better then this. Minmatar are friends, not food. We're versatile.
Andreus Ixiris Duty. Circle-Of-Two 5379	Posted - 2015.07.06 18:57:05 - [18] - Quote Valerie Valate wrote: I have a better solution. 1. Construct a giant laser. Holy crap, Valerie Valate wrote something I actually agree with. Andreus Ixiris > A Civire without a chin is barely a Civire at all. Pieter Tuulinen > He'd be Civirely disadvantaged, Andreus. Andreus Ixiris > ... Andreus Ixiris > This is why we're at war.
Corraidhin Farsaidh Farsaidh's Freeborn 1352	Posted - 2015.07.06 21:07:30 - [19] - Quote It would be hilarious if Nauplius turned up with a hold full of slaves and it turned out the Drifters have issues with the Amarr because they hate slavery...
Diana Kim State Protectorate Caldari State 1865	Posted - 2015.07.06 21:14:09 - [20] - Quote Can't be used inside Caldari territory: using, transporting, owning, holding slaves or being a slave inside Caldari State space is prohibited. Support: denied.
Liam Antolliere Liberty Vanguard 762	Posted - 2015.07.06 22:15:43 - [21] - Quote Diana Kim wrote: Support: denied. We're all heart-broken. No, really. "Though the people may hate me, that does not relieve me of my charge."
Lord Kailethre Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque 138	Posted - 2015.07.07 00:50:40 - [22] - Quote Diana Kim wrote: Can't be used inside Caldari territory: using, transporting, owning, holding slaves or being a slave inside Caldari State space is prohibited. Support: denied. Fairly sure this has absolutely zero to do with the State and it's territory. But thanks for your input anyway. :)
Elmund Egivand Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation 481	Posted - 2015.07.07 01:15:51 - [23] - Quote Corraidhin Farsaidh wrote: It would be hilarious if Nauplius turned up with a hold full of slaves and it turned out the Drifters have issues with the Amarr because they hate slavery... I'm sure they would ignore the cargo-container full of slaves and pursue his chrome arse, considering that he is a transhuman clone and the ones in the cargo container...aren't. Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ EVERGREEN ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~Evergreen ~ Family
Archbishop Abraxas Defensores Fidei 21	Posted - 2015.07.07 02:58:29 - [24] - Quote What heresy is this?! Slaves are meant to be reclaimed and redeemed into holy communion with God. Not given as sustenance to enemies of His Empire!
Frenjo Borkstar Borkstar Laboratories 95	Posted - 2015.07.07 04:17:00 - [25] - Quote For goodness sake. THEY DO NOT WANT SLAVES. Valerie, I have proposed a heavy graviton beam from the day we started. Nauplius, you already asked me and I told you this wouldn't work... Dr. Frenjo Borkstar, Project Lead for Arek'Jaalan's Project Salus, Borkstar Laboratories.
The Golden Serpent 24th Imperial Crusade Amarr Empire 32	Posted - 2015.07.07 10:49:41 - [26] - Quote The Minmatar SUCK, I have a few people I would do this to, btw, totally. I asked my commanding officer if I could haul a few back to test on the Drifters she said no and was suuuuuper pissy I asked. She said we just kill them ourselves no Drifter feeding. Also they're acting like it's some big secret when they're just hanging out on every gate everywhere in Amarr, anyone can see that even the regular traffic that comes through not just the Crusade. Like I said before on here somewhere, they are learning about the true religion and that will cure their disease. Only some of them are crazy and have the darkness in them so it will take a long time. Also eating people is super gross, I don't know why you do that, but asnyways it is super gross you should stop. (to anyone reading this out there) I am not into cannibals I have to deal with them all the time and they are the biggest dumbest weirdos ever. No one will ever forget you are a cannibal ever it is literally the worst mistake you can make you will have no friends, plus your breath will smell really gross. Also Nauplius I found out what you did I read about it in the news and people are so mad at you. I can't believe you did that, I so totally cannot believe it. Esp. since I live in Kahah wow so wrong.
Nauplius Hoi Andrapodistai 369	Posted - 2015.07.07 11:34:48 - [27] - Quote Frenjo Borkstar wrote: For goodness sake. THEY DO NOT WANT SLAVES. Valerie, I have proposed a heavy graviton beam from the day we started. Nauplius, you already asked me and I told you this wouldn't work... I know that they do not want slaves yet. The whole point of step 1 in the original post is to train the Drifters in accepting offerings of Slaves. Enough offerings having been provided, they will eventually sample the fare and learn that the taste is Oh so good. Once the Drifters have learned to desire Slaves, the Empress will have the leverage she needs to secure peace by providing them. Amen. Amarr Victor.
Goldfinch House Rkard 71	Posted - 2015.07.07 11:59:07 - [28] - Quote Your perverse interpretation of our Faith leads you to offer the blood of slaves to God, and now you are offering the blood of slaves to Drifters. How many gods are you going to invent? Get on your knees Nauplius. Your pantheon of false gods demand it. It is you who is the slave. Outcast! Idolater! Unbeliever! veiled and bound
Elmund Egivand Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation 482	Posted - 2015.07.07 13:05:38 - [29] - Quote Goldfinch wrote: Your perverse interpretation of our Faith leads you to offer the blood of slaves to God, and now you are offering the blood of slaves to Drifters. How many gods are you going to invent? Get on your knees Nauplius. Your pantheon of false gods demand it. It is you who is the slave. Outcast! Idolater! Unbeliever! You have lasers and drones. Shoot him already! Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ EVERGREEN ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~Evergreen ~ Family
Pieter Tuulinen Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Multicultural F1 Brigade 5186	Posted - 2015.07.07 18:00:25 - [30] - Quote Elmund Egivand wrote: Goldfinch wrote: Your perverse interpretation of our Faith leads you to offer the blood of slaves to God, and now you are offering the blood of slaves to Drifters. How many gods are you going to invent? Get on your knees Nauplius. Your pantheon of false gods demand it. It is you who is the slave. Outcast! Idolater! Unbeliever! You have lasers and drones. Shoot him already! You act like nobody's done that. He just comes back again. "Caldari Prime burns, those left behind are choking on the dust and ash that fills the air, and you demand our surrender? Is this a joke? You have only hardened our resolve. Every drop of blood you have taken from us will be repaid -- with interest."
Siddhar Gangari Masuat'aa Matari Ushra'Khan 22	Posted - 2015.07.07 18:05:58 - [31] - Quote Nauplius wrote: Samira Kernher wrote: Just shut up. A former Minmatar slave (who never should have been freed in the first place) is not capable of objectively evaluating this proposal. Neither are assertions that it will work, coming from a dog who's culture would collapse without the institution of slavery.
Aria Jenneth Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Multicultural F1 Brigade 1036	Posted - 2015.07.07 18:45:21 - [32] - Quote Siddhar Gangari wrote: Nauplius wrote: Samira Kernher wrote: Just shut up. A former Minmatar slave (who never should have been freed in the first place) is not capable of objectively evaluating this proposal. Neither are assertions that it will work, coming from a dog who's culture would collapse without the institution of slavery. Respectfully, pilot, no many how many "Amarr victors" he shouts, it's pretty clear that mainstream Amarrian culture rejects Nauplius with a will.
Elmund Egivand Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation 484	Posted - 2015.07.08 00:05:08 - [33] - Quote Pieter Tuulinen wrote: Elmund Egivand wrote: Goldfinch wrote: Your perverse interpretation of our Faith leads you to offer the blood of slaves to God, and now you are offering the blood of slaves to Drifters. How many gods are you going to invent? Get on your knees Nauplius. Your pantheon of false gods demand it. It is you who is the slave. Outcast! Idolater! Unbeliever! You have lasers and drones. Shoot him already! You act like nobody's done that. He just comes back again. Shoot him again. More satisfying than trying to argue with him at any rate. Helps reduce stress some, instead of increasing it. Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ EVERGREEN ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~Evergreen ~ Family
Aria Jenneth Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Multicultural F1 Brigade 1039	Posted - 2015.07.08 01:26:33 - [34] - Quote Elmund Egivand wrote: Pieter Tuulinen wrote: Elmund Egivand wrote: Goldfinch wrote: Your perverse interpretation of our Faith leads you to offer the blood of slaves to God, and now you are offering the blood of slaves to Drifters. How many gods are you going to invent? Get on your knees Nauplius. Your pantheon of false gods demand it. It is you who is the slave. Outcast! Idolater! Unbeliever! You have lasers and drones. Shoot him already! You act like nobody's done that. He just comes back again. Shoot him again. More satisfying than trying to argue with him at any rate. Helps reduce stress some, instead of increasing it. Also, you might help some of his victims escape their suffering early. ... only then he'll likely just go to the market again all the sooner and get a fresh batch going. sigh Figuring out how to limit the effect of such a broken person is hard.
Anyanka Funk Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic 123	Posted - 2015.07.08 02:11:41 - [35] - Quote Aria Jenneth wrote: Elmund Egivand wrote: Pieter Tuulinen wrote: Elmund Egivand wrote: Goldfinch wrote: Your perverse interpretation of our Faith leads you to offer the blood of slaves to God, and now you are offering the blood of slaves to Drifters. How many gods are you going to invent? Get on your knees Nauplius. Your pantheon of false gods demand it. It is you who is the slave. Outcast! Idolater! Unbeliever! You have lasers and drones. Shoot him already! You act like nobody's done that. He just comes back again. Shoot him again. More satisfying than trying to argue with him at any rate. Helps reduce stress some, instead of increasing it. Also, you might help some of his victims escape their suffering early. ... only then he'll likely just go to the market again all the sooner and get a fresh batch going. sigh Figuring out how to limit the effect of such a broken person is hard. This could be said for us all.
Elmund Egivand Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation 487	Posted - 2015.07.08 02:53:19 - [36] - Quote Anyanka Funk wrote: Aria Jenneth wrote: [ Also, you might help some of his victims escape their suffering early. ... only then he'll likely just go to the market again all the sooner and get a fresh batch going. sigh Figuring out how to limit the effect of such a broken person is hard. This could be said for us all. Honestly, even if the Amarr or whoever is in charge will never emancipate all slaves, at least make it a requirement to have a Slave-owning License or something. And put some kind of regulation that forbids things like jettisoning slaves into decaying orbit around a star to acquire. The slave trade is too unregulated. Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ EVERGREEN ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~Evergreen ~ Family
Samira Kernher Praetorian Auxiliary Force Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris 1800	Posted - 2015.07.08 03:03:23 - [37] - Quote Elmund Egivand wrote: Honestly, even if the Amarr or whoever is in charge will never emancipate all slaves, at least make it a requirement to have a Slave-owning License or something. And put some kind of regulation that forbids things like jettisoning slaves into decaying orbit around a star to acquire. The slave trade is too unregulated. These regulations already exist in Amarr. Too bad the SCC doesn't enforce them on the interstellar community. "Embrace those who would learn, defeat those who would make mockery of God's way. Through the penance of deeds, the sins of forefathers may eventually be washed away." -- His Royal Highness the Heir Yonis Ardishapur
Elmund Egivand Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation 487	Posted - 2015.07.08 03:16:55 - [38] - Quote Samira Kernher wrote: Elmund Egivand wrote: Honestly, even if the Amarr or whoever is in charge will never emancipate all slaves, at least make it a requirement to have a Slave-owning License or something. And put some kind of regulation that forbids things like jettisoning slaves into decaying orbit around a star to acquire. The slave trade is too unregulated. These regulations already exist in Amarr. Too bad the SCC doesn't enforce them on the interstellar community. Then the persons responsible ought to be fired and be blacklisted to ensure they will never reenter this career field again. Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ EVERGREEN ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~Evergreen ~ Family
Nauplius Hoi Andrapodistai 372	Posted - 2015.07.08 10:55:50 - [39] - Quote Another thread on this forum reports reduced Drifter presence in Amarr. Perhaps the Empress has put my proposal into action. Perhaps she has made a deal with the Drifters to supply a new food source, a more reliable food source. Perhaps the Empress has made a deal to supply the Drifters with Slaves.
Ashlar Vellum PIE Inc. Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris 179	Posted - 2015.07.08 11:26:30 - [40] - Quote You ridiculous peasant, you.
Elmund Egivand Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation 488	Posted - 2015.07.08 12:22:38 - [41] - Quote Nauplius wrote: Another thread on this forum reports reduced Drifter presence in Amarr. Perhaps the Empress has put my proposal into action. Perhaps she has made a deal with the Drifters to supply a new food source, a more reliable food source. Perhaps the Empress has made a deal to supply the Drifters with Slaves. Or perhaps the Empress has sic the Golden Fleet at them and, much to the dismay of Matari like myself, was actually successful in burning them off their skies. Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ EVERGREEN ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~Evergreen ~ Family
Valerie Valate Church of The Crimson Saviour Sani-Sabik 875	Posted - 2015.07.08 17:23:17 - [42] - Quote Frenjo Borkstar wrote: Valerie, I have proposed a heavy graviton beam from the day we started... And who says the giant laser is to be used against the Drifters ? Assumptions are dangerous, Dr. Borkstar. Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
Nauplius Hoi Andrapodistai 374	Posted - 2015.07.08 21:59:03 - [43] - Quote Valerie Valate wrote: Frenjo Borkstar wrote: Valerie, I have proposed a heavy graviton beam from the day we started... And who says the giant laser is to be used against the Drifters ? Assumptions are dangerous, Dr. Borkstar. Then it is sad that the Church of the Crimson Savior wishes to aim a Giant Laser at me. We used to get along better.
Anyanka Funk Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic 125	Posted - 2015.07.09 00:24:02 - [44] - Quote Nauplius wrote: Valerie Valate wrote: Frenjo Borkstar wrote: Valerie, I have proposed a heavy graviton beam from the day we started... And who says the giant laser is to be used against the Drifters ? Assumptions are dangerous, Dr. Borkstar. Then it is sad that the Church of the Crimson Savior wishes to aim a Giant Laser at me. We used to get along better. The so-called "church" sides with transhumanists, Nauplius. They are no better than a pack of "blonde" wild tribals.
Valerie Valate Church of The Crimson Saviour Sani-Sabik 879	Posted - 2015.07.09 16:43:12 - [45] - Quote Nauplius wrote: Then it is sad that the Church of the Crimson Savior wishes to aim a Giant Laser at me. We used to get along better. You would try the patience of a Saint, Nauplius. And I am not a Saint. Yet. I do not particularly wish to aim a giant laser at you. However, every time I have discussed the Scriptures with you, you appear to utterly miss whatever point I was making at the time, and conclude that I must have been recommending sacrificing more Minmatar slaves. I discuss the Scriptures about fashion and modes of dress = You see this as proof that more Minmatar must be sacrificed. I discuss the Scriptures about Righteousness and how all are Welcome to be Chosen = You see this as proof that more Minmatar must be sacrificed. I discuss the Scriptures that the Takmahl had Written = You see this as proof that more Minmatar must be sacrificed. A pattern develops. What this shows is that, either I am terrible at giving Scriptural advice, or you are terrible at receiving it. And since I am the greatest Sani Sabik theophilosopher capsuleer of the modern era, I think I know which of those two scenarios is the case. Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
Tiberious Thessalonia Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Multicultural F1 Brigade 2426	Posted - 2015.07.09 17:00:49 - [46] - Quote Anyanka Funk wrote: Nauplius wrote: Valerie Valate wrote: Frenjo Borkstar wrote: Valerie, I have proposed a heavy graviton beam from the day we started... And who says the giant laser is to be used against the Drifters ? Assumptions are dangerous, Dr. Borkstar. Then it is sad that the Church of the Crimson Savior wishes to aim a Giant Laser at me. We used to get along better. The so-called "church" sides with transhumanists, Nauplius. They are no better than a pack of "blonde" wild tribals. I take it Saede regretted bringing you in like refuse.
Valerie Valate Church of The Crimson Saviour Sani-Sabik 881	Posted - 2015.07.09 17:19:33 - [47] - Quote Tiberious Thessalonia wrote: Anyanka Funk wrote: The so-called "church" sides with transhumanists, Nauplius. They are no better than a pack of "blonde" wild tribals. I take it Saede regretted bringing you in like refuse. Oh, this is a good one, Tiberious. I'm not sure why blonde is in quotes, other than perhaps to suggest that I'm not naturally blonde. Which is laughable enough in itself. However, there's more. A couple of days ago, Anyanka contacted me, asking if I wanted to go to Origin. I responded asking why I would want to do such a thing. And then she told me that a wormhole existed in Abaim to Origin. I assumed this was some kind of trap, perpetrated by Alexylva Paradox, to lure me to destruction. I assumed that, because I had not checked Anyanka's employment record recently. Anyway, I was curious as to why such a laughably transparent trap would be attempted, so a CTCS agent investigated, and found that a wormhole from Abaim to Origin did indeed exist. My agent traversed the wormhole, and observed no ships on the other side, though long range scans showed one Alexylva Paradox ship present in system, a Stratios. Naturally, I put on my most favourite gloating hat, and by chance, observed a Paradox pilot talk in the Summit. I inquired of them if they had a ship of the name of the one that my agent had scanned, and they said "Yes ? Why ?" I then began to explain how their laughably transparent trap had failed, and that my agent had free roam of their system, but before I had entered into full flow, they asked what in Gods name I was on about. Whereupon it was revealed that it was not, in fact, a trap set for myself, but some other scheme involving Anyanka, and at this point I checked her employment record, and saw she was no longer employed in Origin. Later in the Summit, one of Anyanka's associates was trying to give away "free stuff", which I assume were stolen goods stolen from somewhere in Origin. The last piece of the puzzle then fell into place. Anyanka was obviously expecting me, to be the unwitting courier of stolen property out of Origin, and conducted a ludicrously transparent scheme to facilitate this. Which I had inadvertently revealed to the Origin inhabitants, when I had told them their trap had failed. Thusly alerted, they presumably chased down Anyanka and/or her associates that were in Origin. And that's why Anyanka is a little ticked off at me today, because I saw through her plan. Transparent as a pane of glass. But then again, I am the greatest Sani Sabik capsuleer theophilosopher of the modern era, so not much gets by me. Haahahahahahaaaaaahaahahahahahahaeeeheheheheheeeehehehahaaaahaa. Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
Anyanka Funk Sebiestor Tribe Minmatar Republic 126	Posted - 2015.07.09 21:31:12 - [48] - Quote Valerie Valate wrote: Tiberious Thessalonia wrote: Anyanka Funk wrote: The so-called "church" sides with transhumanists, Nauplius. They are no better than a pack of "blonde" wild tribals. I take it Saede regretted bringing you in like refuse. Oh, this is a good one, Tiberious. I'm not sure why blonde is in quotes, other than perhaps to suggest that I'm not naturally blonde. Which is laughable enough in itself. However, there's more. A couple of days ago, Anyanka contacted me, asking if I wanted to go to Origin. I responded asking why I would want to do such a thing. And then she told me that a wormhole existed in Abaim to Origin. I assumed this was some kind of trap, perpetrated by Alexylva Paradox, to lure me to destruction. I assumed that, because I had not checked Anyanka's employment record recently. Anyway, I was curious as to why such a laughably transparent trap would be attempted, so a CTCS agent investigated, and found that a wormhole from Abaim to Origin did indeed exist. My agent traversed the wormhole, and observed no ships on the other side, though long range scans showed one Alexylva Paradox ship present in system, a Stratios. Naturally, I put on my most favourite gloating hat, and by chance, observed a Paradox pilot talk in the Summit. I inquired of them if they had a ship of the name of the one that my agent had scanned, and they said "Yes ? Why ?" I then began to explain how their laughably transparent trap had failed, and that my agent had free roam of their system, but before I had entered into full flow, they asked what in Gods name I was on about. Whereupon it was revealed that it was not, in fact, a trap set for myself, but some other scheme involving Anyanka, and at this point I checked her employment record, and saw she was no longer employed in Origin. Later in the Summit, one of Anyanka's associates was trying to give away "free stuff", which I assume were stolen goods stolen from somewhere in Origin. The last piece of the puzzle then fell into place. Anyanka was obviously expecting me, to be the unwitting courier of stolen property out of Origin, and conducted a ludicrously transparent scheme to facilitate this. Which I had inadvertently revealed to the Origin inhabitants, when I had told them their trap had failed. Thusly alerted, they presumably chased down Anyanka and/or her associates that were in Origin. And that's why Anyanka is a little ticked off at me today, because I saw through her plan. Transparent as a pane of glass. But then again, I am the greatest Sani Sabik capsuleer theophilosopher of the modern era, so not much gets by me. Haahahahahahaaaaaahaahahahahahahaeeeheheheheheeeehehehahaaaahaa. This is a severe derailment of the original post!
Anslo Scope Works 31971	Posted - 2015.07.09 21:51:17 - [49] - Quote Anyanka Funk wrote: This is a severe derailment of the original post! Your existence is a severe derailment of our species. [center]-_For the Proveldtariat_/-[/center]
Diana Kim State Protectorate Caldari State 1881	Posted - 2015.07.09 22:35:29 - [50] - Quote Anslo wrote: Anyanka Funk wrote: This is a severe derailment of the original post! Your existence is a severe derailment of our species. Said a severe derailment of all sentient lifeforms.
Aria Jenneth Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Multicultural F1 Brigade 1084	Posted - 2015.07.09 22:37:07 - [51] - Quote Anslo wrote: Anyanka Funk wrote: This is a severe derailment of the original post! Your existence is a severe derailment of our species. So's the original post. Or something.
Vincent Athena V.I.C.E. 3484	Posted - 2015.07.09 23:28:26 - [52] - Quote This had got to be one of the more despicable ideas I have ever heard. Know a Frozen fan? Check this out Frozen fanfiction
Nauplius Hoi Andrapodistai 375	Posted - 2015.07.10 00:36:59 - [53] - Quote Valerie Valate wrote: Nauplius wrote: Then it is sad that the Church of the Crimson Savior wishes to aim a Giant Laser at me. We used to get along better. You would try the patience of a Saint, Nauplius. And I am not a Saint. Yet. I do not particularly wish to aim a giant laser at you. However, every time I have discussed the Scriptures with you, you appear to utterly miss whatever point I was making at the time, and conclude that I must have been recommending sacrificing more Minmatar slaves. I discuss the Scriptures about fashion and modes of dress = You see this as proof that more Minmatar must be sacrificed. I discuss the Scriptures about Righteousness and how all are Welcome to be Chosen = You see this as proof that more Minmatar must be sacrificed. I discuss the Scriptures that the Takmahl had Written = You see this as proof that more Minmatar must be sacrificed. A pattern develops. What this shows is that, either I am terrible at giving Scriptural advice, or you are terrible at receiving it. And since I am the greatest Sani Sabik theophilosopher capsuleer of the modern era, I think I know which of those two scenarios is the case. I get your "points". However, I interpret the Scriptures differently. For example, I interpret the Apocryphon not as saying Minmatar are welcome to be Chosen, but as saying that one born Minmatar can become Chosen by undergoing De-Minmatarization or by sacrificing Minmatar of three bloodlines upon the Altar of God. All Scriptures are to be interpreted through the lens of their central event GÇö the sacrifice of Molok the Deceiver upon the Altar of God. Corrections must be made to the canonical Scriptures to account for liberal corruptions and interpolations. Do this, and you will understand.
Aria Jenneth Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Multicultural F1 Brigade 1084	Posted - 2015.07.10 01:39:49 - [54] - Quote Nauplius wrote: I get your "points". However, I interpret the Scriptures differently. For example, I interpret the Apocryphon not as saying Minmatar are welcome to be Chosen, but as saying that one born Minmatar can become Chosen by undergoing De-Minmatarization or by sacrificing Minmatar of three bloodlines upon the Altar of God. All Scriptures are to be interpreted through the lens of their central event GÇö the sacrifice of Molok the Deceiver upon the Altar of God. Corrections must be made to the canonical Scriptures to account for liberal corruptions and interpolations. Do this, and you will understand. "'For Nauplius and I are Best Buds! To Him is Insight Given to Correct Holy Writ, for to Him Alone are My Revelations Granted. Now, get Me a Glass of Blood, Straight, and Keep them Coming. Bwahahahahahaha!' saith God." I feel we shouldn't expect much of a difference between Nauplius and his deity.
Vlad Draculesti Ministry of War Amarr Empire 34	Posted - 2015.07.10 06:07:42 - [55] - Quote Nauplius wrote: I propose the following solution to the Drifter crisis: At the moment, the Drifters collect Empyrean corpses but do not have an interest in other food sources. They must be trained to prefer something else: Minmatar Slaves. Each pilot in New Eden should travel with a supply of Slaves in his cargo hold. When encountering Drifters at a stargate or station or Jove Observatory or other location, he should eject some of these Slaves into space and label the resulting jetcan something enticing, such as "Drifter Food" or "Eat Me" or whatnot. Once the Drifters have learned to accept Slaves, the Empress should negotiate immunity from Drifter attack on behalf of the Chosen People of God in return for a steady supply of Minmatar Slaves. Of course, slave breeding programs would have to be accelerated in order to account for the increased demand. I see no downsides to this program. The sacrifice of Minmatar slaves is of no concern, for God has given that people over to destruction for their many crimes and rebellions against God and his Chosen. Amen. Amarr Victor. I believe this would be a bad idea. Currently we understand that the Drifters use the capsuleers corpses - repurpose / re animate them and then have them pilot the Tyrannos ships. Currently they are only scavenging corpses from capsuleers that were unable to evade them - or stupid enough to try and fight them alone. Feeding them a large supply bodies will do nothing but bolster their numbers - especially if you are dropping a jet can full of bodies instead of a single body that's retrieved from a capsuleer. I believe your stupidity is caused by your fear of these Drifters. Do you really believe they will ignore you if you supply them with corpses? Once they bolster their army they will come after you for more. You would only be buying yourself little time, at best.
Leopold Caine Stillwater Corporation 563	Posted - 2015.07.10 11:37:15 - [56] - Quote I think the whole cluster, Amarr, Minmatar, Sabik and everyone else gave up on expecting any kind of a sensible 'plan', or even 'behaviour' from Mr. Nauplius and Ms. Funk. You two should get back to setting up control towers in the Bleak Lands again. Whilst those were also bloody ridiculous, at least they were more tangible. Also, target practice. Leopold Caine, Domination Malakim Angels are never far... Stillwater Corporation Recruitment Open - Angel Cartel Bloc
Elmund Egivand Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation 490	Posted - 2015.07.10 13:54:20 - [57] - Quote Leopold Caine wrote: I think the whole cluster, Amarr, Minmatar, Sabik and everyone else gave up on expecting any kind of a sensible 'plan', or even 'behaviour' from Mr. Nauplius and Ms. Funk. You two should get back to setting up control towers in the Bleak Lands again. Whilst those were also bloody ridiculous, at least they were more tangible. Also, target practice. I suspect you are bored and want something big and erect to shoot. Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ EVERGREEN ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~Evergreen ~ Family
Aria Jenneth Pyre Falcon Defence and Security Multicultural F1 Brigade 1088	Posted - 2015.07.10 14:54:20 - [58] - Quote Elmund Egivand wrote: I suspect you are bored and want something big and erect to shoot. Um.... Did "shooting at towers" stop being a synonym for "grinding tedium" at some point?
Valerie Valate Church of The Crimson Saviour Sani-Sabik 884	Posted - 2015.07.10 14:55:49 - [59] - Quote Aria Jenneth wrote: Elmund Egivand wrote: I suspect you are bored and want something big and erect to shoot. Um.... Did "shooting at towers" stop being a synonym for "grinding tedium" at some point? Not really, the point of the statement seems to be far more about phallic humour, than the practicality of it all. Hurrr, "rods". Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.
Enya Sparhawk Black Tea and Talons 66	Posted - 2015.07.10 21:04:57 - [60] - Quote You bicker amongst yourselves... You may not need to feed this threat if they decide to take over what is left of this weakened empire for themselves... True Slaves War is upon your doorsteps... Fíorghrá: Grá na fírinne Maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. Bíonn súil le muir ach ní bhíonn súil le tír. Is maith an scéalaí an aimsir. When the lost ships of Greece finally return home...
Frenjo Borkstar Borkstar Laboratories 116	Posted - 2015.07.13 03:26:37 - [61] - Quote The reduced Drifter presence in Amarr is most likely due to our interference during Operation Trireme. It clearly triggered other behaviours, so maybe it "reset" them...? Dr. Frenjo Borkstar, //Founder of the Drifter Research Assembly// Lead for Arek'Jaalan's Project Salus, Co-Lead for Project Trireme, Borkstar Laboratories.
Elmund Egivand Federal Defense Union Gallente Federation 516	Posted - 2015.07.13 03:44:57 - [62] - Quote Valerie Valate wrote: Aria Jenneth wrote: Elmund Egivand wrote: I suspect you are bored and want something big and erect to shoot. Um.... Did "shooting at towers" stop being a synonym for "grinding tedium" at some point? Not really, the point of the statement seems to be far more about phallic humour, than the practicality of it all. Hurrr, "rods". I'm bored! So there! Even you would be bored if you are stuck with the tedium of whacking a malfunctioning pump with a spanner every 30 minutes waiting for replacement parts that seemed to have disappeared from the space-time continuum. Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~ EVERGREEN ~ Evergreen ~ Evergreen ~Evergreen ~ Family
Andreus Ixiris Duty. 5392	Posted - 2015.07.15 22:44:00 - [63] - Quote I'm not sure our opinions coincide on the specifics, but I have to put it to the galactic community that Valerie Valate is right in this specific instance. There are precious few problems in the world that can't be solved by building a giant laser. Material shortages? Well, build a giant laser to extract them. Unemployment? Duh, employ people to build a giant laser. Need to test a new alloy? Fire a giant laser at it. Did it melt? Well clearly it isn't good enough. Drifters wrecking your fleet? Clearly you need a giant laser. Oh, but I hear you say, what if the problem is that I have too many giant lasers? Well then, dummy, you need to build a gianter laser to melt all of your other less giant lasers. Giant lasers solve everything. Andreus Ixiris > A Civire without a chin is barely a Civire at all. Pieter Tuulinen > He'd be Civirely disadvantaged, Andreus. Andreus Ixiris > ... Andreus Ixiris > This is why we're at war.
Trii Seo Executive Outcomes 788	Posted - 2015.07.15 22:49:22 - [64] - Quote Andreus Ixiris wrote: I'm not sure our opinions coincide on the specifics, but I have to put it to the galactic community that Valerie Valate is right in this specific instance. There are precious few problems in the world that can't be solved by building a giant laser. Material shortages? Well, build a giant laser to extract them. Unemployment? Duh, employ people to build a giant laser. Need to test a new alloy? Fire a giant laser at it. Did it melt? Well clearly it isn't good enough. Drifters wrecking your fleet? Clearly you need a giant laser. Oh, but I hear you say, what if the problem is that I have too many giant lasers? Well then, dummy, you need to build a gianter laser to melt all of your other less giant lasers. Giant lasers solve everything. I now feel an irresistible urge to order a giant laser... The king is dead, long live the king! Glory to Maximilian Singularity the Sixth, First of his Name! Proud pilot of the Imperium
Andreus Ixiris Duty. 5396	Posted - 2015.07.16 00:28:05 - [65] - Quote I can hook you up. Andreus Ixiris > A Civire without a chin is barely a Civire at all. Pieter Tuulinen > He'd be Civirely disadvantaged, Andreus. Andreus Ixiris > ... Andreus Ixiris > This is why we're at war.

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