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Robert Sawyer
Full Spectrum Inc
I N G L O R I O U S
102
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Posted - 2016.03.31 19:39:54 -
[1] - Quote
So, man, you have a crush. Excellent! Think of all those nice make out sessions you'll have with her, or all the sleepless, sex-filled nights. You, the master architect, carefully craft a flawless plan to conquer her and kill Mr. Loneliness, the dude who's been wrecking your entire social life. Your problems are a thing of the past, only...
Obstacles. You find yourself in trouble. Your crush, no matter how much you want to ask her out, but she's always hanging around with other friends. When you finally muster the courage to do so, you believe you misread the signs, and drone a dull, mundane conversation. Later you bleat to your friends about how you landed in the dreaded friendzone, and ask yourself: "How the f@#k did I fail when I just flavoured myself with Old Spice?".
Well guess what, brother! What if I told you that relationships are not a machine that you insert kindness coins until sex comes out? But your mom or "friends" might say that you must become a girl's most trusted friend and advisor to get some action. Never has a bigger lie been told. I am here to free you from this drape that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. Fret not, average male, for I have arrived to cut off the chains of friendzone that shackle you.
The friendzone is a social construct made by people as a scapegoat - it is a reason made by the weak to believe that they have done nothing wrong, when it is actually their own indecisiveness and meekness that postpones a possible relationship. It has been made by mice to lighten the load on their fragile minds. To these people I say - enough is enough!
Inaction is the enemy. Not letting your crush know that you like her (don't confess, be sublime) will make her unaware of what you want, leading to confusion and a perpetual limbo. You will be looked on with uncertainty, and you will stare dumbly at her. Then, Isaiah Mustafa will pop out of nowhere, steal your crush and you will be devastated. You will awake nearly a century later on your deathbed, cursing that man and yourself for not seizing the moment. There really isn't any friendzone, it is merely a lie made by people to help you feel better.
But you fear rejection? A no is a no and can be painful, sometimes. There were moments when my dream girls denied me and I ended up crying to sleep. But I woke up the next day stronger, telling myself that it is better to regret hitting on them than regretting inaction.
So nay, do not give in to this lie! Be bold, be strong and forward! Your crush awaits!
"And when, at last, the moment is yours, that agony will become your greatest triumph."
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Iyokus Patrouette
Empty Vessels
1332
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Posted - 2016.04.05 23:02:07 -
[2] - Quote
Robert Sawyer wrote:Well guess what, brother! What if I told you that relationships are not a machine that you insert kindness coins until sex comes out?
These kindness coins you speak of. . it's really just chocolate right?
Also the ladder theory clearly states the existence of a friend zone. it also had graphs and charts which makes it legit and scientific.
---- Advocate for the initiation of purple coloured wormholes----
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Buzz Orti
State War Academy
Caldari State
271
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Posted - 2016.04.06 00:02:57 -
[3] - Quote
Is this some kind of war ?
Why are they picking on her? And how?
What are they trying to gain from all the delays , or to make her vain?
Builds ship in empty Quafe bottle.
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Ralph King-Griffin
Devils Rejects 666
The Devil's Warrior Alliance
15005
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Posted - 2016.04.06 17:44:59 -
[4] - Quote
Friend zone is no myth, you need look no further than the mirror to know why.
There are likley a couple of women you know that you could further your relations with but are unwilling to for any number of legitimate reasons with nunber 1 on that list being
You dont want to.
The way out of the friend zone is :
1) Grow the **** up,
Respect the womans decision ,
and stop trying to think your way around the fact she likes you but not enough to sleep with you.
2) Take the sadness and woe of rejection and deal with it like an adult ...
By developing a taste for strong whisky so that you may Drown those obscerd feelings whilst retaining the pretence of being a man.
3) Much like the men you are pretending to be you should now endevour to a) retain the friendship you now have (its probably more valuable than a quick lay) and b) move your lust else where, there are litterally millions of potentialy "perfect" women out there willing to sleap with you,
go find them.
Sinceerly, someone who knows how to get laid (and hass the drinking problem to prove it)
Better the Devil you know.
=]|[=
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Nana Skalski
Poseidaon
7957
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Posted - 2016.04.06 18:10:12 -
[5] - Quote
Pandas have it harder. Its like they are 360 days a year non stop in that zone, and when they are not, they dont even know what to do. Nevertheless, they dont care.
( -á° -ƒ-û -í°)/ =ƒÅ¦ - my sandcastle
Every part of a game helps to tell a story. =ƒôò
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Buzz Orti
State War Academy
Caldari State
271
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Posted - 2016.04.06 21:44:04 -
[6] - Quote
virgin pandas for the win
Builds ship in empty Quafe bottle.
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Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
4448
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Posted - 2016.04.07 00:02:51 -
[7] - Quote
Thing is, seems to work like this. If when you the very first time you met, there was this thing where you both got impacted and felt kind of shy, confused, and WOW!, then things can work out. There might be a get to know each other phase, a friends (ignoring the attraction) phase, a don't want to commit phase, an I'm in a exploration about maybe dating this other person phase... Infinite degrees along a spectrum of uncertainty and unsettledness, between is it This Way or is it That Way? Dread on dread.
Anyway, (personal experience only, as a male hoping to meet female Ms. Right), my best guess is: If it went well at that first instant of meeting, everything else can be worked out along the way. But if both sides didn't feel that sparky thing at the second, it might be a lost cause.
(That said, you see stories about people married since 1945 or something. Wife says, "After the 30th time Harold asked me out, I had no choice but to accept." Lived happily ever after. Who knows).
Portrait inspired by my cocktiel Cockatiel.
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Buzz Orti
State War Academy
Caldari State
272
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Posted - 2016.04.07 02:56:19 -
[8] - Quote
KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid
Don't make it hard to ,
it leads to vanity.
Builds ship in empty Quafe bottle.
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pushdogg
Native Freshfood
Minmatar Republic
153
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Posted - 2016.04.07 08:18:52 -
[9] - Quote
I lol'd, just awesome. |
Robert Sawyer
Full Spectrum Inc
I N G L O R I O U S
106
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Posted - 2016.04.07 21:27:04 -
[10] - Quote
Buzz Orti wrote:KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid
Don't make it hard to ,
it leads to vanity.
This.
Not only does it make you seem like a narcissist, but making things complicated also leads to overthinking and, in consequence, nervousness. These factors, paired with the fact that my last crush is a vain, mean b*tch, led me to rejection. Not fun.
"And when, at last, the moment is yours, that agony will become your greatest triumph."
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Buzz Orti
State War Academy
Caldari State
273
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Posted - 2016.04.07 21:30:21 -
[11] - Quote
Robert Sawyer wrote:Buzz Orti wrote:KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid
Don't make it hard to ,
it leads to vanity. This. Not only does it make you seem like a narcissist, but making things complicated also leads to overthinking and, in consequence, nervousness. These factors, paired with the fact that my last crush is a vain, mean b*tch, led me to rejection. Not fun.
It is not a virtue to try to make woman vain.
It is not only vicious, but it also leads to war.
Builds ship in empty Quafe bottle.
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Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
4451
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Posted - 2016.04.09 15:25:48 -
[12] - Quote
You guys really ought to try my method, above. It gets results. Don't believe me? Here's my proof. Nice, eh? Oh yeah!
Portrait inspired by my cocktiel Cockatiel.
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Ima Wreckyou
The Conference Elite
CODE.
2420
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Posted - 2016.04.09 16:30:25 -
[13] - Quote
I am so glad we have those forums so we can get relationship tips from people who probably never had a relationship in the first place but think it's a good idea to share their insight about the topic.
the Code ALWAYS wins
Elite PvPer, #74 in 2014
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NightCrawler 85
Phoibe Enterprises
1790
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Posted - 2016.04.17 07:08:19 -
[14] - Quote
I enjoyed the post, tank you for making it 
Phoibe Enterprises
The Eve Reader - Audio Recordings of Eve Chronicles
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Pookoko
Sigma Sagittarii Inc.
154
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Posted - 2016.04.21 19:33:06 -
[15] - Quote
There's also f**k zone, as in,
"if we r not gonna f**k, then why are we wasting time? you ain't my friend!"
Something to this effect was actually said by my wife multiple times over the years while we were hitting on and off. The relationship started with natural physical attraction, and ended because :reasons:. This went on for like 2 years. We'd meet up, fall for each other like animals, awesome fireworks, but then once we get into proper 'relationship' we'd get into fights and do/say silly things and end up in bad ways. I mean we just couldn't be good 'friends' because so many things clashed and we'd never had patience or respect for each other in a way you tolerate & accept & have patience for your real 'friends'.
But the fire was there from the start and we always hit it off again somehow. Then we grew into a relationship over long term. By getting used to each other, learning to respect/understand each other, communicating better, accepting our differences, etc.
This was the only relationship in my life that actually got better over the years and went all the way in a traditional sense - e.g. marriage & a child & now a happy family. We were absolutely not 'good friends' to each other in any way in the first years. But now we're best mates & family. Of course, every relationship is different, but for me, this one worked because the most important thing - the spark/chemistry/fire - was there. Everything else we adapted as we've matured together. So my advice to my friends have always been to find girls you can hit it off with naturally and have great actions you both enjoy, then work onward from there. Too many guys have it other way around, thinking they have to work through relationship to get the 'action'.
I mean guys, think about it this way - if a girl has to really make sustained effort and planning and cunning and dedication and take brave actions to get you finally turned on, i.e. actually 'hard', it's probably not going to work out very well. :p
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Celthric Kanerian
Ascendance Of New Eden
Workers Trade Federation
722
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Posted - 2016.04.21 21:25:15 -
[16] - Quote
What the actual f did I just read? xD
Anyhow, at a age of 21 in Scandinavia, no girlfriends so far, but 6 female friends... Something is clearly not working.
Joking. Usually girls here at just shallow or play hard to get, not sure which one is most frustrating. |
Bumblefck
Kerensky Initiatives
11774
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Posted - 2016.04.22 18:02:09 -
[17] - Quote
Buzz Orti wrote:KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid
Don't make it hard to ,
it leads to vanity.
That's pretty much the most coherent thing you've ever said (well, the first line, anyway). Well done!
Got a HoleySheet1 corpse? I'll buy it for 200m!
Bumble's Space Log
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Lan Wang
Knights of the Posing Meat
FETID
2756
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Posted - 2016.04.23 23:28:40 -
[18] - Quote
Ima Wreckyou wrote:I am so glad we have those forums so we can get relationship tips from people who probably never had a relationship in the first place but think it's a good idea to share their insight about the topic.
Thats why i like you Ima, straight to the point and no bullsh!t
FETID now recruiting pvp pilots & corporations | lowsec pvp & piracy - Join FETID
Loyalist to Angel Cartel & Serpentis
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Teinyhr
Ourumur
563
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Posted - 2016.04.24 19:54:42 -
[19] - Quote
And here I thought friend zone was when you confess to your crush you like them, but they reject you and say "let's just be friends." And then you still have to deal with your lingering feelings, making everything awkward, and you can't just break things off, because people will think you are a jerk... Hence being stuck in the friend zone. |
Sakura Nihil
Stimulus
Rote Kapelle
383
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Posted - 2016.04.25 02:03:24 -
[20] - Quote
My two cents to all of this? Always be improving yourself. Whether it's physical capabilities, your knowledge of the world and everything in it, or interactions with other people, keep sharpening that blade. Develop hobbies you enjoy, meet others that share the same passion, and don't be afraid to take a calculated risk if you think you have a chance at success.
In doing so, you develop self-worth as a person, your own identity, and skills that make you stand out as someone interesting and worthy of attention. More to the point, it shows that you don't need a relationship with someone else to prove your self-worth, but instead are searching for someone equally worthy to share your life with.
With all of that being said, some women will still simply not want to be with you, for whatever reason they have. It could be a shallow reason, or something more deep-seated - you have to accept it for what it is, and go forward with the knowledge that while it's unfortunate, it's ultimately their loss. The universe has granted us only a limited amount of time on this planet, and spending it playing games with someone who's ultimately not interested in you is a waste of time and effort.
Glory
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