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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 4 post(s) |
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CCP Abraxas
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Posted - 2007.02.13 23:36:00 -
[1]
Today we have two new Chronicles for you.
The first is Methods of Torture - The Caldari, the last in the torture tetralogy. As I mentioned in relation to the Gallente story, this one serves as a counterpoint, and is as cerebral as the Gallente one was physical.
The second is on the Amarr order known as The Speakers of Truth. They've been quiet for a long while, but may not be much longer.
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Irias Salo
Caldari
The Star Wolves
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Posted - 2007.02.14 00:15:00 -
[2]
Three cheers for Abraxes!
 Originally by: Ginger.
There is no roleplay, there is only EVE
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J'ghathii
Caldari
Order of The Black Rose
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Posted - 2007.02.14 00:25:00 -
[3]
Defenatley lives up to the promise of "WTF did he just do?!" Good read. Nice how he succumbs to total dimensa at the end of the story.
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Maze La'Zie
Caldari
Technology La'Zie
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Posted - 2007.02.14 08:59:00 -
[4]
Originally by: Irias Salo
Three cheers for Abraxes!
Hooray!
___________________
Chief Scientific Officer
Technology La'Zie
Author of The End |
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Ginger.
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Posted - 2007.02.14 10:50:00 -
[5]
/me shivers
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Pharos Dei
Amarr
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Posted - 2007.02.14 11:01:00 -
[6]
the story was ok, by far not as good as the gallente one, but still better than the amarrian one...
However, Abraxas mate, yout should have imo created a slightly different composition:
not this gladiator like lying in a field at the beggining, but rather shown his social surroundings, you know illustrated the life of a prosperous and well respected person in his community...
then the thrill of actually comming into a situation where he steals these documents, the fear, the excitement the passion if you will..
and then him being caught ..., some semi-lucid periods, a really beatifull ones like the field, and a really horrific one, like him being acting irrational, hurting his family, hurting himself or better yet putting him in as an powerless observer to these horrific deeds.
Then him just waking up on a normal day, with these nifty little toys implanted giving him visions of those atrocities to his loved ones... and this is where the real torture could have begun..
Him grossely alienating his friends and family, losing his job due to his own sudden shortcommings, losing everything, including his mind... (this should be chewed throught much more preciselly... you know, the reader must really like have to choke..)
then finally , left with nothing he should be described vegetating through his life and then something like this:
He found himself in an appartment high above the sky, not knowing when or how he got there.
It was empty.
It was cold.
It was deserted. Just like him. Yet he envied it, for good reason...
He had not slept for years now, trying to escape his nightmares, his insanity,
but he did not have to sleep for his nightmares to reach him,
and for his sanity to fade...
This time it was different though,
this time the nightmares were not going to be back.
This time was about run where the insanity could not follow.
He started running.
And as he was nearing the ground, nearing salvation, his single thought was...
...
... he finds himself in an appartment, it is cold...
yeah something like that... :P
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CCP Abraxas
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Posted - 2007.02.14 12:10:00 -
[7]
Edited by: CCP Abraxas on 14/02/2007 12:07:20
Originally by: Pharos Dei
yeah something like that... :P
You're about at the point where you need to write a new story all of your own. 
It's a fair idea, but I have two problems with it:
1) The prosperous and well-respected part, and the excitement of stealing the documents, would both romanticize the protagonist. I don't want that. The story underlines the man's helplessness, and if he'd had any kind of dramatic fall from grace, he'd feel more like a martyr than a victim (This is the same reason I didn't give Sebastian much of a background in the Gallente story. It's not about him as much as it's about what happened to him). That's also why, in the scene involving his past friend, I specifically mentioned the friend's social status: It underlines what an everyman the protagonist is.
2) There are several levels of reality to this swtory, and if I'd given much attention to the protagonist's home situation, I'd be undermining other parts of the narrative. Read again the last lines of the story. There's no guarantee that any of the man's memories are correct, and there are subtle hints that he may not be the innocent little lamb that he thinks of himself as being...
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Falcione
Mortis Angelus
Curse Alliance
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Posted - 2007.02.14 16:14:00 -
[8]
Very nice. Rounds out the series quite well.
It makes sense the Caldari throw an "ECM" in someone's brain and jam him at random intervals
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My Bio in Progress
Prologue / CH.1 |
Kyoko Sakoda
Caldari
Omerta Syndicate
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Posted - 2007.02.14 16:31:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Falcione
It makes sense the Caldari throw an "ECM" in someone's brain and jam him at random intervals
/me outfits 'Tinfoil' Gravimetric ECCM II to her head
Learn what it means to be Caldari with Omerta Syndicate |
Pottsey
Gallente
Enheduanni Foundation
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Posted - 2007.02.14 16:51:00 -
[10]
Abraxas any chance you could slip in some referenceÆs to the Jove or Enheduanni races in a future story or better yet a full story on both? There is not enough background on either and it would be great to read more of them both interacting in the background with the 4 main empires.
Something on the Cosmos empires would be nice. Like Yan Jung or the other old empires that vanished.
Passive shield tanking guide click here |
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Yorick Downe
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Posted - 2007.02.14 21:06:00 -
[11]
>>
It is a fact of nature that the things that grab our attention, the ones to which we react the strongest, are the things that shock us. Something comes at you slowly and deliberately, and you have time to think. Something jumps at you, and you don't. You can't put any of your filters in place; you just react instinctively. If the threat disappears as quickly as it appeared, though, all that instant mania was for nothing.
It is also a fact that high level organisms, having developed the capacity for abstract thought and imagination, can be made to feel threatened in a far greater variety of ways than the simple things that merely crawl around in the grass.
>>
I have read that before, either verbatim or almost verbatim. I want to say "Heinlein", though I may be off.
So, taking entire paragraphs verbatim without attribution - is that going to be called a "pastiche" again, or do we reach the point at some point where the wholesale copying will find an end?
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Falcione
Mortis Angelus
Curse Alliance
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Posted - 2007.02.15 03:53:00 -
[12]
Meh. As long as it gets the point across I don't mind a little plagiarism (Abraxas...the word pirate)
I think the moments of narration add nicely to the mood of the story, regardless of origin.
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My Bio in Progress
Prologue / CH.1 |
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CCP Abraxas
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Posted - 2007.02.15 12:04:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Yorick Downe
So, taking entire paragraphs verbatim without attribution - is that going to be called a "pastiche" again, or do we reach the point at some point where the wholesale copying will find an end?
Or how about a third option: You actually find the quote you're talking about? I wrote that one from scratch, and while it's always possible that something I write inadvertently reflects something I once read, you're going to have to do a lot better at proving your case before you start making intimations of "wholesale copying".
Originally by: Pottsey
Abraxas any chance you could slip in some referenceÆs to the Jove or Enheduanni races in a future story or better yet a full story on both? There is not enough background on either and it would be great to read more of them both interacting in the background with the 4 main empires.
Something on the Cosmos empires would be nice. Like Yan Jung or the other old empires that vanished.
I highly doubt I'll be touching the Jove and Enheduanni in the Chronicles for the near future. Yan Jung, maybe. What I really want is to give some love to the better-known factions like the Blood Raiders, the Sisters of EVE, and so on. My first published story had some hints that the SoE might be more than just an EVEish Red Cross, and I've got some ideas for them.
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Kharakan
Amarr
Magnificent Beavers
Exquisite Malevolence
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Posted - 2007.02.15 16:56:00 -
[14]
Write sansha stories and I will love you long time.
this signature space is claimed in the name of eris, haha I got to him first. neeneer
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Deviana Sevidon
Gallente
easyCredits
Event-Horizon
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Posted - 2007.02.15 22:25:00 -
[15]
I for one would like to know more about the Yan Yung, Talocans and Sleepers.
Besides that their artifacts can be found in COSMOS-Complexes, nothing is really known about them. So I would like to see a bit more about them, and an update for the EVE Timeline including these (extinct?) races.
The EVE Timeline leaves a huge Gap between the Collapse of the EVE-Gate and the Rise of the current Civilisations. I think there is more then enough room for more background info.
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J Valkor
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Posted - 2007.02.16 09:41:00 -
[16]
Awesome job. I expected something special out of the Caldari and any level I read the story on is awesome. If he was a "lamb" and he was tortured for incompetence and a lack of ambition, that is awesome. If the methods of torture used on him broke his mind so completely that they managed to make him forget his terrible past and to give up all of his compatriots in the act, it is awesome.
Some races need to be civilized, I am glad it is the Caldari. (So much for Gallente freedom.)
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Mebrithiel Ju'wien
Omerta Syndicate
Exuro Mortis
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Posted - 2007.02.24 11:25:00 -
[17]
Originally by: CCP Abraxas
What I really want is to give some love to the better-known factions like the Blood Raiders...
Hawt.
Any chance you could look at this?
"But here is the smell of the blood still and all the perfumes of Khanid will not sweeten this little rose" |
Ly'sol
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Posted - 2007.03.01 16:16:00 -
[18]
so not fair....abraxas...you...im jealous...having such a wicked neat grip on the prime fiction.
Click here for Lysol's Linky Library-last updated 30NOV06 |
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