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A funny anti-pirate story.

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Mandrake Knight F.R.E.E. Explorer EVE Animal Control	Posted - 2007.03.01 18:35:00 - [1] So there I was, traveling around in lonetrek, and putting stuff on the market. I jump into Mara, and see crimson 1 (from Lotka Volterra) in a Drake pirating a newb on the Litiura gate. As soon as the system loads l see his scramble message. So I sit there cloaked for a few secs while the sentries warm up on his shields. When he starts flashing for me, I uncloak, lock, scramble, web, nos, activate blasters, engage drones, and laugh my ass off as his T2 fitted Drake goes down in flames. I was in a taranis. And collected the loot. Too bad the sentries got the mail. Hopefully he will be a good sport and send it to me. ----------------------------- Please excuse me, I need to pew pew.
deathforge The Accursed	Posted - 2007.03.01 18:39:00 - [2] What part of this was funny? or worth posting, for that matter? And by the way, I rule you. ---------------------- Low skillpoint Rifter piracy video
Samirol Queens of the Stone Age Anarchy Empire	Posted - 2007.03.01 18:40:00 - [3] happens a lot http://www.iknowderek.com/
Tomas Ysidro Caldari Contraband Inc. Mercenary Coalition	Posted - 2007.03.01 18:47:00 - [4] Can't say I really found that too funny. On a similar note though, I jumped into Tama to find a random Drake blowing up some poor hauler. I immediately went after him and started laying into him, but I noticed he never red-boxed me. Turns out he didn't want this evil anti-pirate here to get the killmail so he deaggressed and jumped into Nourvukaiken (or however you spell that crazy system) just so CONCORD could pop him instead. Not a hilarious story, but it at least made me chuckle. ~Ysiddy
deathforge The Accursed	Posted - 2007.03.01 18:51:00 - [5] Originally by: Tomas Ysidro Can't say I really found that too funny. On a similar note though, I jumped into Tama to find a random Drake blowing up some poor hauler. I immediately went after him and started laying into him, but I noticed he never red-boxed me. Turns out he didn't want this evil anti-pirate here to get the killmail so he deaggressed and jumped into Nourvukaiken (or however you spell that crazy system) just so CONCORD could pop him instead. Not a hilarious story, but it at least made me chuckle. ~Ysiddy THAT is funny And by the way, I rule you. ---------------------- Low skillpoint Rifter piracy video
ScreamingLord Sutch Hand in Mouth	Posted - 2007.03.01 19:42:00 - [6] When are you planning to edit the funny bits in?
Redglare's Demise Shih Yang Tong	Posted - 2007.03.01 19:51:00 - [7] Alot on non-pirates take great joy in doing anything that somehow hinders a pirate, however insignificant it may be. For eg. I have had more than a couple ratters proclaim their complete superiority over me, after simply escaping from me using WCS. I can only imagine the sheer euphoria mandrake must have experienced after actually contributing the the destruction of a pirate! To the forums!
jimmyjam Gallente Turbulent	Posted - 2007.03.01 20:40:00 - [8] It did not really make me laugh but it did make my nipple perk up a lil bit. Metagaming is a broad term usually used to define any strategy, action or method used in a game which transcends a prescribed ruleset, uses external factors to affect the game,
Arekhon Mutually Assured Distraction	Posted - 2007.03.02 02:56:00 - [9]
Vrabac Amarr Shadowed Souls	Posted - 2007.03.02 03:30:00 - [10] OMG YOU KILLED A BATTLECRUISER THAT WAS UNDER FIRE BY SENTRIES! I proclaim you the guardian saint of all the innocents who are harassed by evil on their journeys. That reminds me, there I was in my harbinger when I scan some guy in a caracal harassing my bretheren rats in some belt! So I warp to him and laugh my ass off as I lock, scram, activate lasers, nos, drones, and pwn him to oblivion! Than I start locking the pod and LOL he was totally confused and didnt even know what hit him and I manage to lock and pod him! LOL! I collected the loot, and get this, I EVEN GOT THE KILL MAIL! I rule! And everyone wants to know about it so I posted it on the forum! (You see?)
Arekhon Mutually Assured Distraction	Posted - 2007.03.02 03:42:00 - [11] Originally by: Vrabac and get this, I EVEN GOT THE KILL MAIL! I rule! ROFL
Cyberflayer Mercurialis Inc. Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate	Posted - 2007.03.02 04:40:00 - [12] I found the part about Nos on a Taranis kinda funny... --- Originally by: JabJabVVV Apparently titans cost over a billion isk to produce
JoeT Amarr Short Attention Span	Posted - 2007.03.02 05:07:00 - [13] something mildy funny thing which i will jsut copy and past for battleclinic.com (which i wrote) Quote: there was an inty, af, t1 frig, drake, binger, and a muninn on a gate, I decide to fly down my abddon (which i forget i moved and didnt insure, good thing for lots of iskies). And being nice and flashing -10 i am. they start attacking me. Binger starts moving toward me, and i lay into with my mega pulses, quickly making him fall. I then start shooting drake, and the drake isnt liking my guns but he manges to pull out to 30km :l My Support of two mallers quickly eaten, since they warpped to teh gate and not me. Muninn aggroed teh non flashy maller and gets sentyed. I hit Self - Desct. and begin counting in my head. I see sentys back on the HAC and start shooting, sentys stealing my kill. Lock the wreaks and start blowing them up. Lock drake and apporch and start shooting. he hits 1/2 armor and my ships goes down after the clock ticking for 2mins. A rough long 4mins, warp out. get apoc, refit to tachyon's, warp to my snipe spot of days long old, and quickly off the ishkur and his pod. An ishtar warps to 0 and i start to pound him. Jumps thur. Warp to snipe spot at station and start sniping the eagle. He warps off. Quick SS and go back to the Station and dock. I asked for teh HAC killmail Smachemo > the answer is still no fomr hobo, what you did wit hthe cans and self destruct is dishonorable really heh. fighting 3 v 7 (mostly 1 v 7). All well. It was fun, and they lost i think a bit more then me. and no loot for them --- If i'm posting on the forums, it's mostly cause i'm at work :D
Nero Ya'ng Caldari YaFa Empires	Posted - 2007.03.02 10:21:00 - [14] cant wait till you post the funny part of the story :)
Masochistic Cannibal Amarr 3M Incorporated	Posted - 2007.03.02 10:44:00 - [15] Point1 : Your post is not funny. Point2 : You didn't get a kill, The Faction Sentry gunner called Dave did. Point3 : Nos on Ranis ? Point4 : Thank you for even more proof that anti-pirates really do suck ! Cannibal I eat babies ! [Hauling services available~ Contact ingame]
Dionisius Gallente Vagabundos THE H0RDE	Posted - 2007.03.02 11:18:00 - [16] Well yesterday i killed an anti-pirate that was belt rating in a vengeance, and i was also in a taranis. < - Incredible laughable content, yet true. Can i have my cookie now? _______________________ What we have here is total lack of respect for the law...
Dionisius Gallente Vagabundos THE H0RDE	Posted - 2007.03.02 11:18:00 - [17] Well yesterday i killed an anti-pirate that was belt rating in a vengeance, and i was also in a taranis. < - Incredible laughable content, yet true. Can i have my cookie now? _______________________ What we have here is total lack of respect for the law...
Malakhan Gallente Phoenix Wing Alektorophobia	Posted - 2007.03.02 11:38:00 - [18] Originally by: Masochistic Cannibal Point2 : You didn't get a kill, The Faction Sentry gunner called Dave did. Cannibal You sure it wasn't Derek? --- We are recruiting!
Malakhan Gallente Phoenix Wing Alektorophobia	Posted - 2007.03.02 11:38:00 - [19] Originally by: Masochistic Cannibal Point2 : You didn't get a kill, The Faction Sentry gunner called Dave did. Cannibal You sure it wasn't Derek? --- We are recruiting!
Mandrake Knight F.R.E.E. Explorer EVE Animal Control	Posted - 2007.03.02 22:15:00 - [20] Edited by: Mandrake Knight on 02/03/2007 22:16:11 so much hate, maybe its time some of you stepped off eve and found the company of a woman Anyway there are more types of funny then gut busting rolling on the floor or sarcasm. I found ironic humor in this situation and siezed the moment. And to those nos-on-taranis haters, you can laugh all you want but it is effective And I ended up with the mail anyway, it is amazing what a litle bit of tact will get you these days. ----------------------------- Please excuse me, I need to pew pew.
Surfin's PlunderBunny Minmatar	Posted - 2007.03.03 04:52:00 - [21] So you pirated a guy... whoopie! I blew up a Slasher once! And I podded the guy I have the YARRR button!
Jacob Castillo Caldari Copperhead Inc.	Posted - 2007.03.03 05:07:00 - [22] Edited by: Jacob Castillo on 03/03/2007 05:04:15 Originally by: Mandrake Knight Edited by: Mandrake Knight on 02/03/2007 22:16:11 so much hate, maybe its time some of you stepped off eve and found the company of a woman Anyway there are more types of funny then gut busting rolling on the floor or sarcasm. I found ironic humor in this situation and siezed the moment. And to those nos-on-taranis haters, you can laugh all you want but it is effective And I ended up with the mail anyway, it is amazing what a litle bit of tact will get you these days. That doesn't make it funny though. Making sure you don't say anything inside the quote 4tw =/
T'Renn Crimson Squall	Posted - 2007.03.03 08:38:00 - [23] Originally by: Mandrake Knight so much hate, maybe its time some of you stepped off eve and found the company of a woman This is why people like us can't stand people like you. You come up into our forum, start talking smack about how great it was that you scrammed a flagged drake for long enough to have the sentries pop him, you not only brag about that herculean effort but also name the pilot in the post - which is just classless. Not to mention the nos on your taranis. And then after people chime in with "meh" because your post was, quite frankly quite meh, you come back with the ol' "You need to get a girlfriend" bit which is older than the Internet itself. I bet you smacked it up nice and good in local after the sentries popped that poor guy. Big shot. -- Wanna be a low-sec scumbag?
Devian 666 KAIZEN BROTHERHOOD	Posted - 2007.03.03 09:24:00 - [24] I remember when crimson 1 had a rather long run of not being killed and one day I was spying on HED gate then went WTF. I headed out and scooping crims frozen corpse. I later found out he'd fallen asleep cloaked near the gate. So a corp mail went out and the corpse went in a secure can of bms. Cool an orange sig
Nero Ya'ng Caldari YaFa Empires	Posted - 2007.03.03 09:46:00 - [25] well i tested it my girlfriend was asking me where the funny part was, after she read that. also after we read it together, there was no funny part. maybe ur GF found it funny, propably she was just nice to you and laughed and asked her self, wth is funny about it? but thats a good sign, she likes you :P
Hettar Caldari Huff Technologies	Posted - 2007.03.03 10:44:00 - [26] i've flown with pirates my whole eve career, and you know the really funny thing about pirates, 99.9% of the time they always kill there targets and ne thing that gets in the way unless there real retarded. once i popped a tempest solo on the gates with my mega with the gate guns on me at close range with my blasters, funny thing was he was attually there to kill me for popping his corp m8 earlier, first time he had auto's fitted, 10minutes l8er he jumps back in another tempy fitted for long range. some n00b's dont learn by the first mistake and go and make another equally dumb one. Hence in the long run pirates always win. Your signature is too big, 400 x 120 and less then 24kb - Kreul Intentions ([email protected])
Hettar Caldari Huff Technologies	Posted - 2007.03.03 10:54:00 - [27] oh oh i have another funny anit anti pirate story, well this guy wasnt a anit pirate but more like a idiot, in an apoc decides to buy 7 wsc's off me for 500k each cause he knows me and a 2 friends is in his way camping the gate. wrong move..... Armoured tanked scorp with 8 20kms scrams and a bb using 3 remote sencor boosters at 170km range and my mega to pummel him when he finds out his 7 wcs's wont save him. funny thing is i put 4 of the wcs back on the market 10minutes l8er lol Your signature is too big, 400 x 120 and less then 24kb - Kreul Intentions ([email protected])
Drakhov	Posted - 2007.03.06 01:02:00 - [28] You sure it wasn't Derek? I think it was Derek's night off, but smetimes they switch shifts.
Taipan Gedscho Taipan Industries	Posted - 2007.03.06 01:33:00 - [29] Edited by: Taipan Gedscho on 06/03/2007 01:30:08 nvm i did just the same joke as the poster above, only half an hour later :) Only you can save mmorpgs - Stop crying for nerfs today!
Arekhon Mutually Assured Distraction	Posted - 2007.03.06 08:17:00 - [30] Originally by: Taipan Gedscho Edited by: Taipan Gedscho on 06/03/2007 01:30:08 nvm i did just the same joke as the poster above, only half an hour later :) ROFL..I hate it when people think my thoughts....GOD WTF??? my thoughts and ideas represent your corp
Galan Amarias Amarr Vendetta Underground Rule of Three	Posted - 2007.03.06 08:33:00 - [31] No no, this is a funny anti-pie story. So I'm out looking for someone to blow up in my T2 fitted Harby. Everyone is hiding, no one in my fav low sec haunts.. probably my fault for making them my favorites. Anyway I know a few systems off there will be more low sec and people and gate camps..what the heck, Enter system X and sure enough red flashie battleship. The new T3 Minmitar one, can't recall the name. Well that's bad, lets see if he can lock before I warp, duh of corse he can, harby is a BC and Sloooow. So tank online, I'll fly back through the gate. Wait he has to tank the guns, and there is no way a mere T3 BS can tank the guns and me right? (I'm uber you see) Gawd I'm borred need to shoot something, anything.. ok what the heck, F1-F8, launch drones holy crap got him at half armor! (well me and the guns I supose) wooo. Crap! He has drones (go figure) Ow they are big. Oh look he has friends too (A coupla more BS warp in), and another armor repaier.. excelently baited sir o7 POP Harby goes boom (lag) pop Pod goes boom. (I don't use implants so I feel I owe a good trap the pod kill.) Got a convo from one of the friends, he told me he didn't shoot, was there in case I made it back through the gate ;). Anyway turns out the T3 Bs had T2 guns too.. I bid them GF and enjoy the loot, and we had a healthy laugh because I got more balls than sense. Look I poped a miner <-- Uber
Paul Steelman Amarr Soubeyran Family Enterprises	Posted - 2007.03.06 10:19:00 - [32] I have the corpse of this guy for sale. Contact me ingame for prices and information on BPC's of Kestrel, Standard Missile Launcher I, and Dual Light Beam Laser I - while supplies last!
Kehmor Caldari The Movement	Posted - 2007.03.06 11:42:00 - [33] what I realy don't get is how this is ironic.
Kylana Darkfate Minmatar	Posted - 2007.03.06 13:45:00 - [34] Originally by: Mandrake Knight Edited by: Mandrake Knight on 02/03/2007 22:16:11 so much hate, maybe its time some of you stepped off eve and found the company of a woman Anyway there are more types of funny then gut busting rolling on the floor or sarcasm. I found ironic humor in this situation and siezed the moment. And to those nos-on-taranis haters, you can laugh all you want but it is effective And I ended up with the mail anyway, it is amazing what a litle bit of tact will get you these days. Don't worry Mandrake, I found it funny. What you have to remember is 90% of the people on the forums are kiddies with an IQ of about 80 and a small *****. They will never find the company of a women, and if they do it won't be one to brag about. In real life they're just kiddies living in Mommy's basment on the computer Daddy bought them for Christmas. Take no heed to the trash that is now the Eve forums, for honestly it's become worse than the WoW forums. -------------------------------- "You see, no one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley." ...Well how about the Dread Pirate Kylana? ^_^
Kehmor Caldari The Movement	Posted - 2007.03.06 13:49:00 - [35] Originally by: Kylana Darkfate They will never find the company of a women, and if they do it won't be one to brag about. as apposed to you who merely pretends to be a woman.
Kylana Darkfate Minmatar	Posted - 2007.03.06 13:52:00 - [36] Originally by: Kehmor Originally by: Kylana Darkfate They will never find the company of a women, and if they do it won't be one to brag about. as apposed to you who merely pretends to be a woman. Who said I pretend? I would link a photo but the last thing I want to think about is some teenager having some fantasy to it. -------------------------------- "You see, no one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley." ...Well how about the Dread Pirate Kylana? ^_^
Vrabac Amarr Shadowed Souls	Posted - 2007.03.06 13:53:00 - [37] Originally by: Kylana Darkfate Don't worry Mandrake, I found it funny. What you have to remember is 90% of the people on the forums are kiddies with an IQ of about 80 and a small *****. I'm sure he's not worried now that such a sane and highly intelligent person as yourself found it funny.
Kehmor Caldari The Movement	Posted - 2007.03.06 14:16:00 - [38] Originally by: Kylana Darkfate Originally by: Kehmor Originally by: Kylana Darkfate They will never find the company of a women, and if they do it won't be one to brag about. as apposed to you who merely pretends to be a woman. Who said I pretend? I would link a photo but the last thing I want to think about is some teenager having some fantasy to it. That or you are unable to position the camera in such a way that obscures your hideous facial disfigurements. As for fantasies I've never really had a fetish for feminist ****s who have to target "twelve year old" boys on an online gaming website because they feel so inadequete compared to guys their own age. Sort yourself out in real life, then come back to this forum.
Kylana Darkfate Minmatar	Posted - 2007.03.07 00:05:00 - [39] Originally by: Kehmor Originally by: Kylana Darkfate Originally by: Kehmor Originally by: Kylana Darkfate They will never find the company of a women, and if they do it won't be one to brag about. as apposed to you who merely pretends to be a woman. Who said I pretend? I would link a photo but the last thing I want to think about is some teenager having some fantasy to it. That or you are unable to position the camera in such a way that obscures your hideous facial disfigurements. As for fantasies I've never really had a fetish for feminist ****s who have to target "twelve year old" boys on an online gaming website because they feel so inadequete compared to guys their own age. Sort yourself out in real life, then come back to this forum. Oh please! You're about as worthless in real life as the bum I gave money to the other day so he would leave my friends and I alone. Your real life is obviously so horrible and you have huge self-esteem issues you feel the need to be "cool" and "tough" in Eve to make up for it. Go be emo and try to kill yourself again, maybe this time you'll succeed and the world and Eve will be a better place. -------------------------------- "You see, no one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley." ...Well how about the Dread Pirate Kylana? ^_^
Kehmor Caldari The Movement	Posted - 2007.03.07 00:22:00 - [40] Originally by: Kylana Darkfate Oh please! You're about as worthless in real life as the bum I gave money to the other day so he would leave my friends and I alone. Your real life is obviously so horrible and you have huge self-esteem issues you feel the need to be "cool" and "tough" in Eve to make up for it. Go be emo and try to kill yourself again, maybe this time you'll succeed and the world and Eve will be a better place. such wit and delivered with such finese. "you are abotu as lame as a really lame guy I met yesterday. pure genius. The way I act in eve is infact a contrast to myself in real life, in that I do not butcher innocent people on the way back from doing their shopping in real life. As for my real life the mere fact that i have access to broadband internet allowing me to play eve indicates it can't really be that bad in the grand scheme of this, however I am sure you know all about me. Get back to the kitchen sweetheart.
Destr0math Tritanium Workers Union	Posted - 2007.03.07 01:04:00 - [41] Edited by: Destr0math on 07/03/2007 01:00:59 Originally by: Kylana Darkfate Oh please! You're about as worthless in real life as the bum I gave money to the other day so he would leave my friends and I alone. Your real life is obviously so horrible and you have huge self-esteem issues you feel the need to be "cool" and "tough" in Eve to make up for it. Go be emo and try to kill yourself again, maybe this time you'll succeed and the world and Eve will be a better place. yarr, sounds like someone got ransomed IRL! --- we fly for the golden star.
Nero Ya'ng Caldari YaFa Empires	Posted - 2007.03.07 06:22:00 - [42] Originally by: Kylana Darkfate Originally by: Mandrake Knight Edited by: Mandrake Knight on 02/03/2007 22:16:11 so much hate, maybe its time some of you stepped off eve and found the company of a woman Anyway there are more types of funny then gut busting rolling on the floor or sarcasm. I found ironic humor in this situation and siezed the moment. And to those nos-on-taranis haters, you can laugh all you want but it is effective And I ended up with the mail anyway, it is amazing what a litle bit of tact will get you these days. Don't worry Mandrake, I found it funny. What you have to remember is 90% of the people on the forums are kiddies with an IQ of about 80 and a small *****. They will never find the company of a women, and if they do it won't be one to brag about. In real life they're just kiddies living in Mommy's basment on the computer Daddy bought them for Christmas. Take no heed to the trash that is now the Eve forums, for honestly it's become worse than the WoW forums. oh lol, now this topic starts to get funny. to make such a comment you have to be really grown up and very very intelligent. im impressed.
Alumion Amarr Golden Fury Curse Alliance	Posted - 2007.03.07 13:33:00 - [43] Originally by: Kylana Darkfate Oh please! You're about as worthless in real life as the bum I gave money to the other day so he would leave my friends and I alone. Your real life is obviously so horrible and you have huge self-esteem issues you feel the need to be "cool" and "tough" in Eve to make up for it. Go be emo and try to kill yourself again, maybe this time you'll succeed and the world and Eve will be a better place. So anyone whoose opinion does not match yours is worthless in real life? Or are you a psychologist? A psychic maybe? ---
Ashiana	Posted - 2007.03.07 13:49:00 - [44] Originally by: Mandrake Knight Edited by: Mandrake Knight on 02/03/2007 22:16:11 so much hate, maybe its time some of you stepped off eve and found the company of a woman Anyway there are more types of funny then gut busting rolling on the floor or sarcasm. I found ironic humor in this situation and siezed the moment. And to those nos-on-taranis haters, you can laugh all you want but it is effective And I ended up with the mail anyway, it is amazing what a litle bit of tact will get you these days. You're likely to get your ass flamed off posting in C&P unless you're a well-known and able PvPer. Meh, the residents seem to like it that way It may have been funny to you, but it's not all that unusual in lowsec PvP. Outlaws are vulnerable at gates to pretty much anything that can scramble and web.
Cyberflayer Mercurialis Inc. Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate	Posted - 2007.03.07 16:19:00 - [45] Originally by: Destr0math yarr, sounds like someone got ransomed IRL! This thread has been won. --- Originally by: JabJabVVV Apparently titans cost over a billion isk to produce
Jebe Noyon Shadowed Souls	Posted - 2007.03.07 16:58:00 - [46] "Never had a pleasure of having a company of woman" statement is really old. TBH, I thought no one throws these inna forums any more.
DarkElf Caldari Veto.	Posted - 2007.03.07 17:04:00 - [47] me thinks someone needs to learn the definition of the word IRONY. don't get it tbh. well done for killing a battlecruiser while it was under sentry fire. u are leet!!! DE
VJ Maverick Caldari Maverick Specialized Services	Posted - 2007.03.09 15:52:00 - [48] Originally by: Jebe Noyon "Never had a pleasure of having a company of woman" statement is really old. TBH, I thought no one throws these inna forums any more. Actually, the quote was "a womEn" which makes it even funnier. Nothing worse than thinking up a lame insult and then making it even more lame by screwing it up.
Silver Sheath	Posted - 2007.03.09 17:21:00 - [49] Edited by: Silver Sheath on 09/03/2007 17:18:57 Steps to being a forum attention *** (i.e. ing people off for reactions): 1. Pretend to be female. 2. Spell your sex wrong. 3. Make a general man-bashing comment. 4. Eff her, you guys are leagues above the trash on WoW. Lk! I cn us he astrik ky to!!!!*!

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