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Tobias Sjodin Caldari Ore Mongers R0ADKILL	Posted - 2007.05.01 09:11:00 - [31] Wow, what's with the "I like mine"-posts? My favourite is the classic one with the guy who loses his relationship over EVE.
Miss Anthropy School of Applied Knowledge	Posted - 2007.05.01 09:12:00 - [32] Originally by: Jim McGregor 5. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys. lmao
ry ry StateCorp	Posted - 2007.05.01 09:15:00 - [33] Edited by: ry ry on 01/05/2007 09:11:38 i have a giant ascii picture of me skull******* princess diana irl. it's badass.
Lord Zoran Caldari House of Tempers	Posted - 2007.05.01 09:46:00 - [34] Originally by: Jim McGregor This is mine: --- Random facts about Jack Bauer (guy in the tv-series named "24"): 1. If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life. 2. If Jack Bauer was in a room with ****, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice. 3. Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man. 4. Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent. 5. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys. 6. Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk. 7. Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact. 8. Jack Bauer was never addicted to **. ** was addicted to Jack Bauer. 9. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight. 10. Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. 11. Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away. 12. Let's get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you. 13. When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out. 14. If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is you -- well amigo, you're fd. 15. Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry. 16. When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer f*g hates lemonade. 17. In grade school, a little boy punched Kimberly Bauer, and Kimberly ran home to tell her dad. That little boy's name? Stephen Hawking. 18. Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed. 19. No man has ever used the phrase, "Jack Bauer is a py" in a sentence and lived to tel- 20. In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell. 21. Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it. 22. As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!" 23. Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once. 24. If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don't want to get 7 stars. 25. Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people. 26. Everytime Jack Bauer yells "NOW!" at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies. 27. Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice. 28. If you send someone to kill Jack Bauer, the only thing you accomplish is supplying him a fresh set of weapons to kill you with. 29. Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours. 30. If Jack Bauer was **, his name would be Chuck Norris. 31. After arguing over what was the better show, 24 or Walker Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris went to attack Jack Bauer with his trademark roundhouse kick. Jack Bauer caught it. --- :) he sucks, Chuck Norris ftw !!! check my bio for the real Chuck Norris Facts !!! --------------------------------------------- no sig for you !!!
Missy X	Posted - 2007.05.01 16:58:00 - [35] Good bios: * Anything esoteric and intriguing, as long as it's not too long-winded or self-important * Anything genuinely interesting that's not meta-knowledge * Anything that resembles what one pilot may actually conceivably read about another pilot when doing a scan of their identity Bad bios: * ASCII stuff like the 'beer truck', 'finger' and variations thereof. Flags I can understand, at least they serve a vague semi-practical purpose. That's about it though. * The "I'm a badass, no really I am, honest" bios. You know the ones I mean. Where you try and get people to be all afraid of you and stuff. Woo. It's always especially funny to see industrial players use bios like this. * The ones where so-and-so wrecks whatever for x points of damage. Nobody cares, mister. * The ones that give you stats on damage types to use against enemies, security settings and where you can travel, types of missions given out by certain agents etc. Why give this information to everyone including your enemies? When I see bios like this, I cut and paste the information not into my own bio but into a notepad sticky. Knowledge is not free for my enemies. * The 'amateur philosopher'. Surely every gamer in the developed world has memorised Sun Tzu's Art Of War cover-to-cover by now, given how much he gets quoted. But even worse are the ones where people try and make up their own philosophies. This rarely is done well. (Some notable exceptions exist though.) * The ones with lots of chatlogs between the player and their 'victims'. Designed to make the payer look either badass or incredibly witty, usually just makes the player look arrogant and lacking in social skills. * The ones that tell you absolutely everything about a character's (usually incredibly cliched and cornball) backstory. Okay a little bit of info is good, yes. But not every damn thing. Why would a passerby know this stuff, and why would you advertise it to them? Even if you're an RPer this type of bio makes no sense at all because it's meta-knowledge to the reader. My character does not know that yours was orphaned when he was 3 (although given how many RP players go for the same old, tired 'orphan seeking vengeance' cliche, she could have potentially guessed). If you want her to know backstory stuff, you'll have to tell her. * The OP's bio, too bitterly cynical and not that funny. * My bio, the worst bio ever seen, so bad I will not reproduce it here, thus sparing you the misery and self-indulgence that is synonymous with the way I play EVE. Happy bio-ing.
PMSing Momentum. Dusk and Dawn	Posted - 2007.05.01 18:05:00 - [36] Not saying it's the best, but I get lots of comments about mine. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is everyone in this game so arrogant? Don't answer that. Is it just that my ship is in "your" space? Well, you tinfoil hat-wearing, Star Trek worshipping, Lost in Space re-run Tivoing, Zathura championing, under-sexed, over self-pleasuring, oily skinned, pimple-faced, haircut needing, overweight, yellow-green enamel having, Dominos Pizza delivery guy (former, now unemployed) - I DON'T GIVE TWO SHS about the pixels all around both of us that you call yours. Guess what - for now, THEY ARE MINE! HA AHAAA HAHHAHAHAAAAA!!! Now try and use the pixels on the screen in front of your 21" LCD monitor, not the hand on your 1.5" thruster, to try and take me out - go ahead. If you are successful, you might grow a pube. If not, you might kill yourself. The latter, of course, would be better for society. In Closing... DIE (no, really, I mean it) The opinions expressed here are those of a hormonal * ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hope you enjoyed my bio. Now get me some Fking Midol!
ReaperOfSly Gallente Lyrus Associates Betrayal Under Mayhem	Posted - 2007.05.01 18:11:00 - [37] Once upon a midnight dreary, while I whorumed weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious thread of "nerf nano ships". While I clicked the reply button, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour. "It's not possible", I cried, "let me be a forum whore!" Quoth the server, 404. --------------------------------------------------------------------
The Pointless Gallente Lacks a Point Ltd	Posted - 2007.05.01 18:11:00 - [38] Edited by: The Pointless on 01/05/2007 18:07:53 Originally by: Missy X >Crazy good/bad bio list< Dread to think what you'd file mine under on that list. ----------------------------------------------- "And I scream in a thousand voices!"
Missy X	Posted - 2007.05.02 10:58:00 - [39] Edited by: Missy X on 02/05/2007 10:54:10 Don't worry about what I think, no-one else does.
Saltire System-Lords E N I G M A	Posted - 2007.05.02 11:44:00 - [40] c'mon i want funny bios! SALTIRE : the most loved, feared and respected pvper and pirate in eve history.
Neon Genesis The Landed Gentry	Posted - 2007.05.02 11:49:00 - [41] Every bio where the character's family was killed and he wants revenge _
MasterDecoy Gallente Raddick Explorations	Posted - 2007.05.02 14:49:00 - [42] funniest? look up liquidium in game... and i think mine ain't bad... hint-hint
Umit Davala Corpus PCG	Posted - 2007.05.02 14:59:00 - [43] Mine is: "I shot a man in Rens, just to watch him die" With apologies to Johnny Cash. s'alright I guess...
Dregann Amarr Trading Company New Eden Research	Posted - 2007.05.02 15:49:00 - [44] Foob2 ^^ Bio Hax0rs eve tbh ---------------- WELCOME TO FOOBS GUIDE TO SEC STATUS Basically, Empire is *. and based on this fact, you have to be a certain level of * to enter certain systems. Your sec status displays your "* Level". -5.0 is the threshold for ness, and once you get lower than -5.0 you actually stop becoming and start becoming cool. once you get as low as -10 then you automatically recieve the right to buy a lowrider and start saying "ey ese". Below -2 = too cool for 1.0 sec systems Below -2.5 = too cool for 0.9 sec systems Below -3 = too cool for 0.8 sec systems Below -3.5 = too cool for 0.7 systems Below -4 = too cool for 0.6 systems Below -4.5 = too cool for 0.5 systems -5 or below = SHOOP DA WOOP, IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZERZ. There are concenquences for being too cool for certain empire systems. if your * level wasnt sufficient to enter a system, then once you entered it the CHiPS would come after you and YMCA your ship. it is believed that if you are true -10 and try to enter a 1.0 system in your pimped-up lowrider, then Erik Estrada himself will come and YMCA you. however, there has been no-one cool enough to try this legend out. TIPS ON HOW TO INCREASE YOUR COOL LEVEL AND DECREASE THE * LEVEL The physical * level can only be decreased by being cool and owning noobs in cool systems. cool systems are 0.1 to 0.4 systems. THIS DOES NOT INCLUDE 0.0. if you own noobs in 0.0 YOU ARE AS EQUALLY * AS EMPIRE-GOERS. These are the only things that can phsycally make you cool, but there are certain things you can do to rack up your coolness. For instance, you can smacktalk, you can h4xploit and you can ransom. Along with this, there are also certain things to can do to make yourself permenantly , regardless of your physical ** level. These include being in Privateers, mining, NPC corporations, posting constructivley on the EVE-O forums and being Julien Derida. i hope this guide has been helpful and i hope you get to meet Erik Estrada soon. Copy this into your bio and help spread the coolness of EVE! Winters Chill > bring me the frozen corpse of foob2
M4sterm1nd DarkStar 1 GoonSwarm	Posted - 2007.05.10 07:58:00 - [45] Originally by: ReaperOfSly Once upon a midnight dreary, while I whorumed weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious thread of "nerf nano ships". While I clicked the reply button, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour. "It's not possible", I cried, "let me be a forum whore!" Quoth the server, 404. VERY nice *Rubidium in a pool. BE THERE!*
Victor Valka Caldari Archon Industries	Posted - 2007.05.10 09:07:00 - [46] Originally by: ReaperOfSly Once upon a midnight dreary, while I whorumed weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious thread of "nerf nano ships". While I clicked the reply button, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour. "It's not possible", I cried, "let me be a forum whore!" Quoth the server, 404. Poe called. He said he wants royalties! Originally by: Diana Marc Notice that BoB is agreeing with RA's concern. That's like Elrond and Sauron agreeing to reduce carbon emissions.
Supreme Biovizier	Posted - 2007.05.10 10:41:00 - [47] At work now but just so much: (in the voice of Bender): Compare your bios to mine then kill yerself
Ifni Developmental Neogenics Amalgamated	Posted - 2007.05.10 11:15:00 - [48] Originally by: Saltire this is mine. Clearly Eve's best, most loved and well known PVP'er and pirate. Does everyone else know how you acquired this character? You take what is offered. And that must sometimes be enough.
Noluck Ned FATAL REVELATIONS FATAL Alliance	Posted - 2007.05.10 11:36:00 - [49] Originally by: ReaperOfSly Once upon a midnight dreary, while I whorumed weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious thread of "nerf nano ships". While I clicked the reply button, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour. "It's not possible", I cried, "let me be a forum whore!" Quoth the server, 404. UR Teh Weener F4T4L Recruitment
Cheyenne Shadowborn Caldari Citizens of E.A.R.T.H. E.A.R.T.H. Federation	Posted - 2007.05.10 12:29:00 - [50] Originally by: privian 8. cd /pub find -n .single_1337_sexy_female \| ./approach 9. The above pickup line may or may not work; attempt. It's linux, so the worst it can get you is blank looks - no fatal exceptions. You'd certainly get blank looks from me ... if you have to quote Linux in your wall of text^H^H^W I mean bio at least do it right: cd /pub && find . -name .single_1337_sexy_female \| ./approach Also, this is way funnier: gawk; talk; date; wine; grep; touch; unzip; touch; gasp; finger; gasp; mount; fsck; more; yes; gasp; umount; make clean; make mrproper; sleep -- CCP: PLEASE fix the forum software - thanks.
doctorstupid2 Dirty Deeds Corp. Axiom Empire	Posted - 2007.05.10 12:38:00 - [51] Violence is like duct tape; if it isn't working you're not using enough. I win
SiJira	Posted - 2007.05.10 14:45:00 - [52] do i even have a bio ? ____ __ ________ _sig below_ the jet cans are made so that people that dont mine can get free ore miners ritually donate the ore to anyone wishing to take some
Draskuul Vrallis Minmatar PoliCratton Technologies 5th Column	Posted - 2007.05.10 16:03:00 - [53] Great, now I'll probably spend all night digging through old screenshots for this. Maybe someone else would recognize this one. It was a female character whose bio was basically an ad for her being a prostitute. It even included a price list for 'services.' It was actually pretty well written and a good laugh, at least. _____________________ Your signature exceeds the maximum allowed dimensions of 400x120 pixels -Sahwoolo Etoophie ([email protected])
Jim McGregor	Posted - 2007.05.10 16:06:00 - [54] Originally by: Cheyenne Shadowborn gawk; talk; date; wine; grep; touch; unzip; touch; gasp; finger; gasp; mount; fsck; more; yes; gasp; umount; make clean; make mrproper; sleep And this is why Linux is teh sex. Even though I run windoze because of Microsoft ruling the world. --- Eve Wiki \| Eve Tribune
Pherusa	Posted - 2007.05.10 16:23:00 - [55] When I checked some pirates in the local window, I read his bio. It seems to be a bit older (Alliance names) and is used by a lot of people, but I loved the idea ^^ IF YOU HAVE BEEN ATTACKED AND WISH TO SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES OF THE EVENT WITH US, WE WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULD FILL OUT THE FOLLOWING FORM, IN ORDER TO HELP US IMPROVE CUSTOMER SATISFACTION. THANK YOU Hello, My name is [insert victim name], and I was: [] Pod Killed [] Ship Killed [] Ransomed by [insert name here] on [insert date] in the system [Insert system name]. I am writing to inform you, that yourself, and the rest of your corp are [] Bastards [] **ers [] Evil *** [] Tossers [] ****s [] Griefers [] Pirate Scum [] s [] Homosexuals [] s [] Mother*** [] Lamers [] Losers [] *es and you [] Ruin the game for [] Enrage [] Bankrupt [] Give too much grief to [] Destroy the point in playing for [] Other (Please State) _____________________________ people like me. There for, you pack of [insert abusive plural name], I have took it upon myself to enlist the help of my [] Whole Corporation [] Whole Alliance [] Favourite Merc Corp [] Mate who's been playing for 2 years and is uber [] Main, who's a member of [] Xetic [] CVA [] U'K [] Stain [] G Alliance [] Imperium [] The Kieretsu [] some other alliance no one gives a toss about to come and [] Kill you all [] Kill you all and your families [] Stab you all repeatedly with a carving knife [] *your women [] Kill your mothers [] Have sex with your family dog [] Other (Please State) _____________________________ as revenge for you destroying my [] Ship. [] Wallet balance. [] Pod. [] Implants. [] Ego. I sincerely hope you all [] Get ass raped by big black men, [] Contract sexually transimtted diseases, [] Rot in hell, [] Get podded back to the stone age, [] Escrow me my stuff back, [] Go yourselves, [] Get off on killing people, Because the loss of my stuff in our encounter was very traumatizing. As a closing message to my statement I would like to say [] off and die. [] You're all a pack of s. [] Oh boy, was i suckered!. [] I hope you all get ** rot [] You suck. [] Revenge will be mine. [] My corp is coming for you. [] My alliance is coming for you. [] Expect a war declaration soonÖ. Yours, [] Sincerely [] Respectfully [] Hatefully [] Truly [] Rather Confusedly [] Revengefully [] With hugs and kisses [insert victim name]
Ryan Scouse'UK	Posted - 2007.05.10 16:48:00 - [56] Edited by: Ryan Scouse''UK on 10/05/2007 16:45:48 My Bio seems to not let me fit all the text on that I so wish but it Reads.. Link to some apoc shooting different colour lasers in Ours at drones. Link to my Machariel with 2 other itty marks minen Veld.... Velddddddddsssssssssspaa ( cribba ) hehe a Link to a - REAL LIFE PICTURE OF MY SELF - ( ImageShack ) I think I am the only person in eve to do this ? Shrug.. some ..I shot x for this much dmg.. & got this result .. thus I took this dmg.. & got X result then it moves onto how much isk I have at this date.. 2.4 bil + what ships I own at the moment la la la & finally a Link to all the faction ships in EVE .. from Frigs to Jova ships. ---- My alt reads... ( I wish my grass was eMo so that it would CUT itself. ) Stolen.

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